(crowd cheering) Yeah, this message is sponsored by Greenlight as your kids get older. Some things about parenting get easier here. Man, you can say that again. As a father of three, don't I know it. Others don't, like having that conversation about money. The fact is, kids won't really know how to manage their money, and so they're actually in charge of it. That's where Greenlight can help. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families. Parents can send money to their kids and keep an eye on kids spending and saving while kids and teens build money, confidence, and lifelong financial literacy skills. With the Greenlight app, kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely thanks to games that teach kids money skills in a fun, accessible way. Yeah, and I've actually used this before with the Greenlight app. Kids can learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely, like you said. They also learn how to associate money with effort through the chores feature, which is where you as a parent set up one time are recurring chores, customize your families. He's like, "Jack's is taking out the trash," and stuff like that now. You get to say, "Hey, you're gonna get 10 bucks a week," or whatever, but you gotta do it, and then you go into your side of the app. You say he did it, then he gets the money and his debit card, right? Correct, and most kids these days are web savvy and tech savvy, and they're using it for Amazon and games and clothes and things like that. Roblox, all that crap. All of it, so it's great. Millions of parents and kids are learning about money on Greenlight, it's the easy, convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and families to navigate life together. Sign up for Greenlight today, and get your first month free when you go to greenlight.com/drinkinbros, that is greenlight.com/drinkinbros to try Greenlight for free. Greenlight.com/drinkinbros. (upbeat music) Live from our studios in Austin, Texas, this is "Drinkinbros Fate News" with Ross Patterson, Dan Holloway, Papa G with the traffic. How you feel? - Good. - Good, yeah. - Field reporter, Hot Boss. And Delco Dan with Sports. Welcome to "Fake News." - Yeah, welcome to "Drinkinbros Fate News," everybody. - I remember. - Can we be the realest? Fake is news of the week. What did you remember? - I remember the other sketch that I wanted to do that we were talking about a few minutes ago. - Well, let's share with the audience. - Shall we? - Shall we? - The first one is, buckle up, folks. - Yeah, we're starting off hard today on this Thursday. I'll just say the name of it. And then you can explain to the audience what it is. - Okay. - It's called Snow White Power. - Right. - And it's about Snow White. - Snow White and the seven dwarves are all little Nazis. - Yeah. - And it's called the one third Reich, which I'll have to give credit to someone else for here soon. 'Cause that was a yes and during brainstorming. Well, we're still figuring out exactly how it's gonna go. Like a Snow White infiltrating the Nazis. And then Prince Charming is like an allegory for the Allied forces, or we'll see, right? It depends on what we wanna do with Snow White. And then that made me think of a completely separate commercial that's like a public service announcement thing. - About White Power, but how White people use their power to help out the community. - I'm calling it White Power Commercial. And it's like, how are you using your White Power? And then you hear some dudes saying, "I'm using my White Power to promote racial equality." - Exactly. - And then so on and so, there's several examples of that. And then at the end, it's just a big group of people. Then they all yell, "White Power on the same time." - But they're helping out the community. - It's super positive. - Yeah, it's super positive. - Very positive message. - Like use your White Power for the better of better kind of side, right? I think is-- - Use it for good. - How else would you even use it? - Because there is Black Girl Magic, and there's fun things like that. You know, Girl Power. This is just the White people, how they use their White Power to help out underserved communities. And then their own, you know? There's nothing racist to it at all. It's just the power that resides within White People. - We're taking it back. - Yeah, we're giving it another meaning so people don't have a negative connotation on this year White Power. - This shirt, it's just gonna be a Black shirt with White letters, it says White Power on it. But you're gonna have to take the time to explain it to your family and friends and probably some strangers as well from that. - Yeah, I don't think the shirt's gonna do well for us. - Without context, it seems rude, but that's-- - But once you explain it to people-- - A conversation starter is what it is. - That it is, then it could also get you killed. - On Hell, Gansett Garcia just gave us $9.99 for drugs. - You really? - Thank you. - What drugs can you get for, can you get? - I got a hit of acid. - Hey, really for 10 bucks? - Yeah. - What state are we in? - Texas. - So not Juarez, Mexico, call him Angel. - No. - Is Angel. - On Hell. - No. No, if somebody's giving you money for drugs, you went and roamed them. I think that's appropriate. - I agree, I agree. You know what I mean? Like if an old Italian lady is making me better, I'm not gonna fucking start butchering her language. That's rude. - Me neither. - And I'm not gonna talk about the Olive Garden there, you know, although I should. - Yeah, well she might stab you. - By the way, it's more of a lotenx thing, I suppose. - It is, speaking of using our white power for good. We've gotten a lot of DMs about our Juneteenth giveaway for the Bro Box at Red Lobster next month. Look, I wanna say that the Austin restaurant is still safe as of this moment. We've gotten a shit ton of DMs the last two days. The Red Lobster is still open in Austin, Texas. We are 33 days away from Juneteenth, 'cause we're gonna do it on the actual day that night to go to Red Lobster, but we understand your fears. A hundred of shut down now. - Yeah, I mean it's, I feel like we should use our white power to keep it open. 'Cause it kind of feels like there's a Red Lobster holocaust happening right now. - That's exactly what it feels like. And I'm not happy about it. - They're lynching Red Lobster, and I won't stand for it. - Me neither, but just know that ours is still open, so if you subscribe to the Bro Box, what are they, it's today, right, it's today. - Today's the last day, yep. - You're in for the giveaway, we fly out, and you have a nice dinner in Red Lobster. - And we also will probably try to bring at least one black person, whether it's Black Kevin or JJ, if he's got time, high and angry to come out here or somebody, like we only know four black people, so it's gonna be one of them. - Yeah, we don't know that many. - Yeah. - We don't know that many. But yeah, there'll be a black eye at the dinner. - Yup, 100%, yup. - Even if we have to find somebody. - Well, there's gonna be a toast, there always is, there was a toast at Old Garden, there'll be a toast here, and we'll have our black friend make that toast. - Jackie Curry says, can Red Lobster also be saved with the white power? - I think it can. - Look, you use your white powers for good, all right? But we're trying to change the negative connotation. - I've been aware of this as you lost me, it will bring a black eye. - Leave it to a Mexican. Bob, pull up the photo of HEB. If you wanna come out and hang out with us tomorrow and get fucked up in store, we'll be at the HEB in Frisco, Texas, tomorrow from four to seven p.m., drinking some hard AF Seltzer's, there's free samples, there's free merch, we got all the things there tomorrow, and we're gonna get rocked with you guys. I'd tell you what, if you come out tomorrow in honor of Red Lobster and our Juneteenth giveaway, I will give the first five people five packs of Cheddar Bay Biscuits, 'cause they sell 'em inside Adrian's beer. - Yeah, they do. We could also bring Pitt Dexter, the cop in Louisville. - I love Dexter. - Yeah, he's awesome. - I love Dexter. - It's gonna be hard for him to get off work. - Is it? - He's a cop. - Can you tell us you have a sick day, can you call him? - I'll call him some kind of threat. Maybe. - It'd be great. It'd be great. A lot going on in Louisville. He's a cop in Louisville. PGA Championship is going on right there. We'll get to that when we discuss my bookie later on in the show. Help yourself, friend, some hard AF Seltzer's. Look at that, dude. Hopping in right off the street, I like it. I like it. If you're in the Austin area, join us, dude. We're here. First story of the day, Donald John Trump has agreed to the debates with Joe Biden. Apparently they're going to do two debates. President Joe Biden and former President Donald John Trump have both accepted an invitation from CNN to debates on June 27th, a historically early showdown that will set the tone for the final months of the 2024 campaign. I've received and accepted an invitation from CNN for debates on June 27th. Over to you, Donald. As you said anywhere, anytime, any place Joe Biden posted in a statement on Twitter. Do you have that video, Bob? Can you pull that up there? - The one of Biden? - Yeah. - Where he says that he beat Trump in two debates, which is not really, I mean, true. And then he says he's not showed up to any debates since then. Well, there haven't been any, Joe. - No. - You're stupid, fuck. I mean, that's a weird thing to say. - It is. You want to pull that up, Bob? - Why has everything logged out? - This computer does this like every two months. I can aircraft. - Or craftsman blaming tools. - Yeah, blaming your fucking tools, not the master. - You are a fucking tool. - Jesus, Bob. - That's crazy. - That's crazy. - Keto and IQ. - Yeah, shut up. - I got the video here. - I had one right before I got on air today. I drink that shit every day. I fucking love it. But with this, I'm actually surprised that this is going down. Trump told CNN, Katelyn Collins, later on, the answer is yes. I will accept. Later Wednesday morning, both men said that they had accepted an invitation from ABC as well to hold a second debate. And that's going to be on September 10th. Here's the video of Biden from his Instagram saying that he will do the debates. Play that. - Donald Trump lost two debates to me in 2020. - Why? - Since then he hadn't shown up for debate. - Now he's acting like he wanted to debate me again. - Three. - Make my day pal. I'll even do it twice. So let's pick the dates Donald. I hear you three, I'm Wednesday's. Donald Trump lost two. - How many seconds was that? - Fourteen. - Fourteen. - Fourteen. - Fourteen. - Fourteen seconds. Five jump cuts. - Yep. - It played like corn cob TV. - Sure did. - It's very, very odd. - What the fuck is corn cob TV? - Rob, we want to pull up corn cob TV. - Oh God, are we going to get fucking killed for this? - Are we going to get dinged for this? - It's a sketch. - Yeah but are we going to get dinged for this sketch? - Is it like that old variety, like Hillbelly variety show where everybody's face was in a window or some shit? - No. - Oh, we can't play this. - Oh yeah, we definitely can. - Yeah, get out of here. - If we're on, you know. - If we're on Patreon, we can. - We're not on Patreon today. - Remind me on Monday. - You too. - See if I still care about this. - Yeah, exactly, but as far as the concern, look, I looked at who is going to be doing this debate and it's weird to me. Dana Bash and Jake Chapper are going to do the debate on CNN. - Yeah and who knows who is going to be, you're going to get a real question. - No, no, no. - Out of them, it's a Trump. - No. - They fucking hate him. - And then of course there's the other ones on ABC. So it's Warner Brothers and Disney controlling the fucking presidential debates. Usually there's three, right? There's a neutral one and then the left one and the right one, typically, right? For decades, that's been the case, not this time. My understanding is Trump is going to challenge into a third and try to get a moderator with a, there was a short list of moderators from the last one, let me pull them out right quick. - While you're doing that, in all sincerity, here's what I can't figure out. Why they didn't agree to a podcast sit down with a Joe Rogan or a drinking bros? - I mean, he's-- - No, but like Joe Rogan or a Tucker Carlson. - Yeah, that's never going to happen. So he-- - Why not? Trump's doing it on CNN with the two worst fucking people there are on CNN. - Well, that's the thing, yeah, I mean, I don't know that he's a, he's set on a television show that he accepted, but I don't know if he's officially accepted yet, he may be trying to leverage still. So here's the short list from 2020 when they were trying to debate Biden, the Trump campaign, wanted Brett Baer from Fox News, Jerry Baker. I don't know who that is. - I know who Brett Baer is, I don't know who Jerry Baker is. - Maria Bartiromo, she's also a Fox News person. - I know her. - Shannon Bream, I don't know who that is. David Brody, I don't know who that is. Rachel Campos Duffy, I don't know who that is. Kevin Sirelli, I don't know who that is. Larry Elder, that's odd, 'cause he's not in the media. He's a fucking-- - He was a fucking-- - He ran for governor. - Yeah, in California. - Sagar and Yeti, which would probably be the best choice out of these to be honest. - Yep. - Sagar would be great. - Even though I want, like, I need to fight him a lot. Like, because of some stuff he says. Hating on weed and what not, but-- - He'd be fine in the-- - Yeah, he was a moderator's debate. - Harris Faulkner, there's too much eye makeup for me. That's it, can't do that one. - She's out. - Major Garrett, he's good. Michael Goodwin, I don't know who that is, and then Ambrosia Hernandez, I also don't know who that is. But if I had to pick from this list, it would be Sagar and Yeti, because he's gonna, like Brett Beyer's smart guy, Maria Bartiromo is really smart as well, but that's gonna be hyper-partisan. I feel like Sagar's gonna be the one that keeps it down in the middle, and asks smart follow-up questions, right? Like, if somebody tries to make a point that's off a little bit, he's gonna give the other guy a chance to respond to. I think he would probably be the best. But we'll see, right? We'll see if it happens, I don't know. I don't know. (laughs) Frankly, I'm not convinced that even one of these is gonna happen at the moment. - I think, here's my guess. I think they did this, Biden did this, because they knew Trump would eventually back out of CNN. I don't know how you go in and do a debate on national television on CNN with those two. - So, the chat here saying Larry Elder was a talk radio host in LA. I didn't know, I have no idea what this is. - I didn't know that either. - So he might be good too, but he's kind of polarizing, but he, 'cause I think it was the black face of white supremacy is what the LA Times called him. - Yeah, yeah. - After-- - 'Cause he ran as a Republican against Newsome. - Yeah, after somebody threw a banana at him, and look, he's a smart guy. So, maybe he would do what. I feel like him, Bartiromo, and Bret Baer, and Harris Faulkner, they're all super hard, right. So, it's gonna come off that way. I don't think that's really helpful, to be honest. I don't think it helps Trump, huh? - I don't think Bret Baer is like crazy, crazy, hard, right? Bret Baer is actually multiple times on Fox. I've seen the clips push back against Trump people who've been on there being like, the election was stolen, blah, blah, blah, blah, nope, nope. - Yeah, but that's what I-- - I don't mean that. I don't mean in the regard of election integrity and shit like that. I mean, when he's been the moderator of debates before, it's definitely had a right spin to him, maybe that's just part of it, I guess, I don't know. But yeah, I think soccer would probably be the guy to do it. Now, remember in 2020, I think it was intentional that the Biden campaign set the bar as low as possible because once he came out for that second debate, one, he got crushed in the first debate. So I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. But in the second one, it's not like he won, he just stayed upright the whole time. It was like, and he wasn't all tweaked out like he was at the State of the Union this year. 'Cause at the State of the Union this year, he was just like rattling off lines, desperately trying to get him all out before he fucking passed out, before he went full Jimmy Carter. I think that in this case in the run-up to the debate, Trump should keep his fucking mouth shut, not talk about dementia and that bullshit, right? Or Sleepy Joe and all this, just talk about how fucked up Biden's policies have been. Just stay, stick to the fact, the facts are on your side. - Immigration, immigration, inflation. - Yes, the facts are on your side. The other thing too that I thought he did wrong Trump in the debates in 2020 was interrupting over and over again, let the other person speak, there is a time limit on this shit, and then they do go back and forth. I think that's what made him look like an asshole in that debate, in particular of why there was a question of who won or lost, run on your record, and that'll go, it's the same notes from 2020, if you remember correctly, like Trump should have debated under all the good shit that he did versus the other shit of going against Joe Biden, and he should do the same now and just use how horrific the last four years have been against Joe Biden. Wait your turn, be calm about it, but this is gonna go off the rails. If this goes on CNN, they're gonna get into Stormy Daniels, they're gonna get into the four trials that in my opinion are fucking bullshit, but CNN will say no, you've been charged with these crimes and everything else, and Trump's response is going to, we already know what it's gonna be, it's rigged against me, which it is, it is rigged against him, but they're gonna say it over and over and over again, and do whatever they can to help out Biden, and I don't think they stop any of those number games that fucking Biden will do. - Probably not, no, I mean-- - But the inflation numbers and shit? - Yeah, but there's easy ways around this, so Trump, they say whatever the fuck about the trials, what happens if you go to, or you're getting charged with this or that, he goes, yeah, I also remember how you the media helped push the Russian collusion hoax that's been proven to be false now. I remember that as well, so I guess, and then I would say, well, why don't we just see how things work out, and let that be the end of it. And then, I would make, if I'm Trump, I make the clear distinction between what the Democrats, the leftists in this country, and our calling, quote unquote, core inflation, core inflation, of course, is inflation minus housing and energy. The two things that you need to stay alive, goddamn it, which they call volatile, like, oh, we, excluding the volatile housing and energy markets, inflation's actually not that bad, like, okay, cool. Real inflation over the past three and a half years or so, is about 40%. Now, right, I mean, it's bad, it's really fucking bad. - It's really fucking bad. - And so, we have two different paradigms, and the word inflation doesn't mean anything anymore, but core inflation is what the Democrats say, and this is their new version, their new definition of inflation that is nonsensical, right? It's like saying, I'm feeling pretty good other than the cancer, and then real inflation, which includes all the general CPI stuff, like housing, energy, so on and so forth, but also the ancillary second and third order effects of inflation, it includes, is up nearly 40%, it's like 38, 37 and a half or something like that. That's just say the numbers, say the numbers out loud. - And the other thing that he should bring up in this, 'cause this just happened, this is what I was kind of searching for here, was earlier today, the house panel that did that case with Robert Herr for Biden and the illegal documents. Biden this morning invoked executive privilege and is blocking the audio tapes from being released, 'cause the media has requested them, the RNC has requested them. - Yeah, and hopefully some brave patriot will release them anyways, because fuck him, right? And if we're gonna do this, let's do it. Let's see exactly what's going on. By the way, the other day, Ashley Biden wrote a letter to the court during the sentencing of the woman who stole her diary, acknowledging that it's all true, which means Joe Biden took showers with his pre-teen daughter. Now you make of that whatever you want. I think that's newsworthy. - I did too, and it says Jim Jordan's statement was, the department has a legal obligation to turn over the request of materials pursuant to the subpoena. Attorney General Garland's willful refusal to comply with our subpoena constitutes contempt of Congress. And the president is invoking executive privilege to block the recorded interview with Robert Herr regarding not the handling of those classified materials, if you'll recall, that's the one where he said, he willfully took all these, but he's a senile old man and a jury would never convict him because of how old he is. So I'm assuming in those tapes, when he couldn't remember when his son died, or when Hunter was having sex with the fucking dead son's wife and all that other shit. - Or throwing guns into a dumpster behind Wendy's. - Right, I'm assuming they don't want any of that out, because if people actually hurt him behind the scenes, unedited, like that, it would be fucking wild, I bet. It would be like your dementia grandfather, doing a fucking podcast for the day, like it'd be bad, I think. So they block those as well. If I'm Trump, I bring those up in there, and I don't know what his response will be. - Listen, Jack. - Here's the thing, Jack, here's the deal. So red and yellow, black and white, they are all precious. No chine, no yellow. - No yellow in there. Do you think this actually happens, by the way? Any of these debates? - I doubt it, man, honestly. Like I think this is bait to get Trump to argue over something. Like try to get a third debate on Fox, or somewhere else although Fox isn't terribly friendly to him, either. - Yeah, I don't know. It seems like it's bait, but then again, Trump's never had a problem running into bait before, has he? - Doesn't really care. - So maybe, I mean, why not? - Yeah, it doesn't really fucking care, because the other part of this is if he backs out of it, obviously Biden and his supporters will be like, well, Biden's the one who wanted to debate, and he didn't do it, so he's a fucking coward. - He's not gonna back out. Trump? - Yeah. - I just don't know how you do it. - Too much. - With Dana Bash. - He'll just yell at them. He doesn't give a fuck. - That would be good, though. - That would be good for... - It depends, I mean, if he can stay, when I say yell at him, I just mean talk over them. It's one thing, I don't think he should interrupt Biden constantly, 'cause let him talk, let him say the stupid lie that he's about to say. And when your enemy's making a mistake, don't interrupt him, that's one of the fucking rules, right? So let that stupid old bitch say what he's gonna say, 'cause he's gonna tell lies, he's gonna say the border's in control, by the way. We'll get to it here in a sec, but he's getting ready to sign an executive order, doing what he says is closing the border, but it's identical to the fucking border plan that Congress has already rejected. So we'll get to that in a little bit. - Okay. - Yeah, but anyways, we'll see, I think he'll do it for sure. - Trump? - Yeah. - He doesn't give a fuck. - I see an N1, I don't know, man. I would think it would be a mistake. - He sees himself as Daniel in the lion's den. He's, that's who he is in his head. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? He's gonna walk right in there with his dick and balls out. - But I don't think it's good for him. - We'll see. - That's what I'm saying, so. - We'll see. If he can stay disciplined and just stay the facts, then we'll see. - The other part about it is the trial. When's that gonna be over? - Who knows. - Lauren Bober just showed up today. When we have a shot of Bober, she just arrived there. Bober's there in New York. - Oh, at the trial? - Did they put her next to Trump and let her jack him off? - Yeah, I was wondering, is she going to Broadway? She's looking for a higher class fucking hand job. - I mean-- - HCHJ. - Dan single, you could go to a play with Bober tonight and get jacked off. - Tonight I'm all set. I'm getting jacked off plenty, thank you. (laughing) - Now, if I were her, it looks like if you, you know, shows you can do, see on Broadway right now, she likes movies that have been, you know, made into musicals. - Beetlejuice is one of them. - Yeah, I mean, but what's next, dude? Is it gonna be like the original Batman? - Man, some of these ones will piss you off. There, apparently, there's a back-to-the-future musical. - Yup, there sure is. - I'm walking here! - Yeah. - Taxi. - That's crazy. - That's crazy. - There's a great Gatsby musical. - You know, he says that in the, like, the teenage version, like his son or his grandson in the future, or maybe it's his son. - Yeah. - Right, he parrots that line. - That's one of my favorite Easter eggs of all time. Anyways, I think Beaufort's still probably gonna go see cats. I think she's gonna go see the oldie but goodie, you know? - I don't know if that's rolling right now. - Really? - Yeah, I'm not seeing it on the docket here. - What else? - Yeah, they shut cats down because of AIDS. - Oh, that's right, Feline AIDS, where it was everywhere. It was a big guy. - Yeah, Feline AIDS. But it wasn't, it wasn't, it was the longest-running play of all time, right, cats? - I think, and then they closed it out for some amount of time a couple years ago. I think it was like 2018 or something. - Is the Britney Spears one still going? I could see her going to that one too. - I don't see that one. Here's my top hand job picks for Lauren Beaufort on Broadway. - Okay. - Back to the future, like I said. - Fun. - I think she'd love to jerk her dick off to Aladdin, the musical. - Well, wait, let's go back to back to the future because that scene at the end, where he's in the car with his mom and she's trying to make out with him or whatever, definitely Beaufort's gonna, 'cause she's in to incest, look at her. - Yeah. - You know she is. - She's coming for weapons. - Chill Jack, chill Jack, someone. - 100%. - That she's definitely cranking, maybe two hogs in that. It's like a fucking truck with a bench sheet instead. They update it a little bit. - Yeah. - To truck with a bench sheet and fucking on one side is Crispin Glover and the other side is Michael J. Fox and she's a ski pole in the fuck out of these dudes. - That'll be great. - Oh, generational Jack. Is it today's Crispin Glover and Michael J. Fox? 'Cause he'd be shaking around. - Yeah, which makes it better than a problem. - Well, you just stay still. - It'd be easy for her. - Yeah, you'd have to move her hand. - You could be in a cast and Jack him off. - Yeah. - So, congratulations on that. - Beaufort, take your damn hands off from, get your damn hands off. - Get your damn hands off and Beaufort. - I'm gonna do that. The next time I'm getting jacked off, I'm just gonna look down at her and fucking brighten the eyes. Like, get your damn, she won't. - Full Marty McFluff. - Take your damn hands off. - Hector Ace 182 says you guys are helping me go through a hard time, my dad, who crossed the border. And me joining the army for 18 years to pay coyback, I don't know what that means, but I think his dad is in the, I saw it earlier, I think his dad's in the hospital and they're gonna have to pull the plug or some shit. - Oh, fuck man, I'm sorry. - A man who crossed the road. - Is it New York? Maybe Beaufort could stop by. - Going through a tough decision and have to pull the plug on my father who, to me, is the drinking bro. Well, sorry about your dad, man. Hopefully he had a good one. - Yeah, me too. And by the way, if I am in the hospital in this, you know, and let's see, my wife is dead whenever this is in the future. Can you have Beaufort or Jack me off before I die? - Yeah, I'll see about it, yeah. Generational Jack. - What was the rest of the plays, Bob, that Beaufort's Jack and people off to? - I think she'd have a good time, Jack and Dick's off to the Lion King as well and. - Which part where a mofasa dies probably? - I think there's too many. - I think it's right at the start, raising the baby. - Oh no, you don't want to jack off to a baby. (humming) And then just get jacked off during that. (humming) - Have you ever done this? You can send by your girlfriend or your wife. - What do my buddies do? - Which is where you fucking blast on her and then you fucking grab some of your thumb and cross her forehead. That also plays on Good Friday. - It does, it does. - But here's what Wednesday. - Here's what I think she will be jacking off to. - Okay. - Jack and Dick's off to the notebook. - Oh man, I'd love a good HJ in the notebook. - But is it like down by the ocean or is it in the nursing home? You know what I mean? - I think it's probably on the dock where they're running on the dock and it's raining and all that stuff. You want to get jacked off during that? - Right. Well let me ask you this. If you found out, like we all have our opinions on teachers in their 20s bang and like 15 year old boys. - Yeah. - Right, which is I think is a- - Finally. - That is community service so far as I'm concerned. But what about if you found out like, let's say you were dating a woman, it's getting serious and she says, you know when I was younger, I was like in my early 20s, after I got out of nursing school, I worked at a retirement home and the guys, like there's a lot of people there were dying, right? - Yeah. - And I jacked some of them off. It's like a send off. - Yeah. - How would you feel about that? - It'd be tough for me. It'd be tough to get, 'cause then you have to ask how many. Well, how many dudes did you jack off? - You don't have to ask that. - I immediately, that's where my mind goes. I would, it'll be the first question out of my mouth. - And then how many dudes did she jack off and if she said 187. - I've got so many other questions before that. - I don't. - So many other, like first one would be, did any of them survive, right? Did you bring somebody back to life? - Because your hand jobs saved them. - Yeah, because you jacked them off. The second one would be, like probably how many, yeah, I guess. - Yeah. - If it was family feud and you- - Or if any of them died during the process, that would also be fun. - Ooh. - Yeah. - Your hand job killed him, your H.J. killed him? - Yeah, you jacked a dude off to death, which not many people can say they've done. - Is it on the death certificate then? - Jacked off to death. - That's because of death. - Yeah, yeah. - Which is like, when you get to heaven, it's like, how'd you die? Ah, I ate some bad tuna, I got food poisoning and just couldn't recover. What about you, bud? - I got jacked off to death. - Yeah, I got, I had- - Strange. - Jacked off to death. What about you? Oh, flip cancer. I'm sorry, what'd you say? You say jacked off to death? - Yeah, yeah, jacked off to death. I was in the hospital and a nurse came in, jacked me off to death and, you know. - Well, where's she at now? Actually, she's married, happily married with a couple of kids now. - In Missouri? - Like, congratulations to her. I think, to me, that's like, I get it. - 187 dicks though. - Well, would you have said that number? How long was she working there? - Years. You usually die every day. - Yeah, you take that job for a long time. - I don't think that's true that people die in a single nursing home with like 100 patients. If somebody died every day, they'd be over in six months. - Well, they're constantly putting them back in there. - No, they've got damn crematorium. - I was crazy. - I live very near to a nursing home. I probably see an ambulance once a week there. - Yeah, once a week, right? So 52 a year. - Okay. - So she works there for three years. - And that's if it's all men. - That's like 90, we're talking 90 dicks. - Half the population, 51% of the population is female. So we're talking about 26 dicks tops a year. You can handle that. - If she was jilling women off to death, though, would that be worse? - Would that be worse? - Would that be worse? - It would be better if she had one finger up to her ear. - Yeah. - She's scratching records and shit. If she did it that way, I think that's free. - I think I'd be more disgusted at that though. Is that weird? - Yeah, that is weird actually. - 'Cause it's an old, it's a super old vagina. - I don't think an old lady wants to get-- - Jilled off. - Rubbed out. - I don't know. - Honestly, I don't think. - I don't know if you're in the chat and you're over 80, let us know. - Yeah. (laughs) - And if you're out there in the chat, like honestly, I think of it like a dog. Like if I found out one of my dogs was definitely gonna die, like all right, let's go get some cheeseburgers, some ice cream, you can lick your nuts all day, do whatever you want, buddy. In this case, it's a human being. They can get ice cream and cheeseburgers, whatever they want. What they can't get at 80 years old is jacked off by a hot 25 year old. - It's true, it's very true. - Right, so you're sending them off. - And now whenever I hear the Lion King song, I'm gonna think about Bobert jacking somebody off at that play. (sings in foreign language) - Not just somebody, but ski pulling, both did like generational, a father and a son. (sings in foreign language) - And then you see her, then you see her like, they do a documentary afterwards on it and you see her working out for it, training for it in the gym. On that machine where you have the two ropes and you pull them down really hard, she's like, what are you doing? Are you trying to, was you? (sings in foreign language) - Look, I'm gonna rip these dudes dicks off. - Training, training for the old dude. (sings in foreign language) - She's just jacking dudes off. (sings in foreign language) - Speaking of jacking dudes off-- - We didn't even go through one goddamn story. - If you're jacking dudes off, hopefully it's in a ghost bed from ghostbed.com/drinkingbroze. I don't know if they're putting ghost bed mattresses in old people homes, but they should, because you're getting them 50% off with the promo code "drinkingbroze" at checkouts. So fucking use it, man. You can get, would you say, Bob, about 100 residents? Yeah, you can get 100 mattresses. Ghost bed has said that to me multiple times. If there's a fucking elderly home out there or an Airbnb or whatever, the load up the cart thing that I always talk about is true on the show. So if you put a 100 mattresses and an old folks home, you're getting them 50% off, you're getting the pillows, 50% off sheets, the adjustable bases, mattresses. I think they probably come with their own adjustable bases in the fucking old folks home, though. Just a guess, because it's medical, you know? These will vibrate you, and I don't know that an old person's gonna wake up to a vibration in the middle of the night. - In my experience, they don't. - Yeah, they don't. Especially when you put the pillow over their face. - Well, then they are the ones who were vibrating. - But if you're gonna get smothered to death with a pillow, I highly recommend their cooling pillow. It's patent-cooling technology. So at least in a hot-ass state like Texas, if you're gonna pillow over your face to die, you're gonna be cool, and that's important. Now, when you check out, again, no matter how many items you put in the cart, 50% off from a co-dringer, bros, you're gonna be able to stretch that out because there's a three-year pay-as-you-go program, no interest as long as you have decent credit. Check that box, get all 100 mattresses, sheets and pillows and all that shit, 50% off, and then stretch it out over three years. That way, it got all the savings you can need in this life. Do it! Go to ghostfit.com/drinkingbros today. Next up, weed. Charges are being reduced. The Justice Department officially proposed a new rule on Thursday today that would reclassify marijuana as a Schedule III drug, a policy move that would ease restrictions on cannabis on the federal level if ultimately approved. While the rescheduling of marijuana would neither make the substance legal nor decriminalize it across the nation, changing the classification from its current Schedule I status to Schedule III, would bring the drug into a regulatory parody with other substances like ketamine and anabolic steroids. The DEA currently classifies marijuana as a substance that "has no currently accepted medical use "and a high potential for abuse." Which is fucking pure insanity. The proposed rule would shift the DEA's treatment of the drug to one that has a moderate to low potential for physical and psychological dependence. The proposal kicks off a month's long comments and administrative period, meaning the rescheduling, would not immediately take effect after 60 days. However, officials will make a final determination before the rule is officially published. - Yep, so now it goes basically into probate for review for 60 days and then they'll publish the findings after which they are going to do this. It's a political move, obviously. We thought they were going to do this in Obama's term, actually, eight goddamn years ago, but from what I hear from people on the Hill, it's definitely happening now. I don't know what real effect it's going to have though, because most states are either moving towards legalization or clearly stated they're not going to. One of those two things, right? Like New Jersey, it's supposed to have happened already. I think they've passed the law in 2018 or '19. They just can't build the fucking marketplace for it because they're incompetent. Texas has been pretty clear, it's not going to happen here. At least not under the current leadership. Paxton's against it, Lieutenant Governor Patrick's against it. - Wheelchairs against it. - I haven't heard anything. - Wheelchair, they're trying to nuke out, Delta 8 and Delta 9 here right now. - Yeah, but this is just federal law. It's why when the Biden administration was talking about commuting federal weed sentences, it was like, what, 12 people? Who the fuck got convicted of weed at the federal level? 'Cause there will be other charges. - The only way to become a federal crime is if you're trafficking massive amounts across the border and shit like that. So, I mean, one state to another, not necessarily from Mexico or Canada. It's like, I don't remember what percentage it was of total weed people, but it was comically low. Like a very small amount. So, the states will still be able to criminalize whatever they want. - But the biggest question I have for you here is, let's say they do make it a schedule three. What about the people who are already in jail for weed? Does that change their jail time or how does that work? - Biden, should he choose, could commute all their sentences, yes, but that would be a separate action. I mean, he could say that it's because of that, but legally speaking, he has the right to do it right now. Anyways. - Well, the wild thing, and here's why I ask, if this were to happen is all those dudes that Kamala put into jail in California, there was so many fucking weed convictions out there. She put a lot of black men away in jail. - I think it was like 12,000 or something like that. - It's nuts, dude. It's nuts. So like, you'd be going against essentially everything she has said. - Although she's changed her stance recently, saying I smoke weed or something like that to that effect. And it's like, cool man, but what about all those people that are still in jail? So if you are gonna do this, and I hope they do, 'cause this is fucking bullshit, marijuana should be legal anyways, but at least commute these fucking sentences for people who have been in prison for this stupid shit. Now, if you're bringing in fucking 500 pounds over the border and smog one illegally, it's sure, right? But for people who weren't doing that type of shit, fuck off man. - I mean, that would be dumb to do anyways. What do you really wanna import some Mexican dirt weed when you can go to a hydroponic lab in any of the fucking like three dozen states now that have weed? - What's it's tons? - Why the fuck would you buy cheap, shitty weed from Mexico? - I don't know. - It doesn't make any sense. - But yeah, we'll see how it goes. To me, this is, the only reason I put it in here is because technically it's a story, but I don't think it's really a story. - I think it is because it's right before the election and you see shit like this. - I mean, it's pandering, yeah, but it doesn't have any practical effect. - Not yet, not yet. It would be great if somebody just rolled in and just legalized it. Could a president sign an EO and just do it on day one if they wanted to? - No. - How does that work? It's gotta go to Congress and Senate. - He could redo, no, no, no, he could reduce it to a schedule six or whatever it is, which is nothing, right? Or schedule four, I mean, which is not even a misdemeanor. I think it would be just a ticket or something technically, but he couldn't make it legal in states, right? That's separation of powers, so. - Okay. - Separation of white powers. - Yeah, again, white powers for good on that one and listen to the top of the show if you missed it, okay? Next up, Peru gets it right. The Peruvian government has officially categorized trans and intersex people as mentally ill. The health ministry said the decree was the only way Peru's public health services could guarantee full coverage of medical attention for mental health. The move is prompted a fierce backlash in a society where gender and LGBT rights have been under sustained assault in recent years and where there are high levels of homophobic, transphobic and gender violence. The move is prompted a fierce backlash in a society where gender and the rights have been under sustained assault. In one recent move, lawmakers banned references to gender equality from school textbooks that has had a devastating effect on classes intended to prevent domestic assault and femicides. - Jesus Christ. - What's the femicide? - It's the murder of a woman. - Is that a real term? - No. - How's that made up? - No, he made it up. Cesar Vasquez, the health minister, has failed to comment on the row. Instead, he's been defending President Dinah Bularte who was under investigation for her unexplained acquisition of expensive jewelry including a diamond across the Cartier bracelet valued at $40,000. Last week her brother was arrested for selling senior jobs in the government as well. The president responded by dismantling an elite police anti-corruption unit and unsuccessfully attempting to block the publication of official statistics showing a rise in poverty. So she's again, the president is kind of against this stuff. You can't ignore the context that this is happening in the super conservative society where the LGBT community has no rights. Blah, blah, blah. So she was vice president to Pedro Castillo and replaced him in 2022 after the far left rural school teacher unconstitutionally attempted to shut her Congress. So Peru's fucked basically, right? And it's no surprise that we keep seeing these let's see, since then she has propped up, been propped up by a Congress whose members run the ideological spectrum from Marxist lenders to far right, but who share deep social conservatism and have been pushing counter reforms to protect illegal mining, logging and cocaine, the cocaine trade. So it is a true banana republic right now down there. She was, she's like pandering to the right side. Although she's got a lot of marks of shit going on which explains stealing and whatever. - Yeah. - 'Cause that's just how those kind of governments work. But she has support from the far right people too because of stuff like this. - Well, isn't Peru the country that's trying to steal the resources from another country right now, Bob? Then we talk about this on the show a few months back, weren't they? - No, it was Wailah going south, what's the country south of Venezuela that we talked about, but they're potentially Guyana? - Yeah, they're worried about Venezuela going into Guyana. - Oh, Venezuela, okay. - Yeah. - Because I know Peru's economy is dog shit, obviously so is theirs and they're looking for ways to make money and be in power here. I, look, do you fix any of this shit down there? Probably not. - All right, who cares? - For a 40,000 dollar bracelet? - It's Peru, fucking Peru. - I would say some breaking news. - Well, what do we got? - Greg Abbott has just pardoned Daniel Perry, the guy who shot the Uber driver who shot the BLM protester in 2020. - No, shit. - The protester was an Air Force veteran, by the way. - That he shot. - But the guy was walking around on the street of Austin with an AK and raised it to Daniel Perry's window and Daniel Perry shot him through the glass and then that jury convicted him and now the justice has actually been done. By the way, this-- - No, this was a rumor that he was gonna do this, but this is confirmed and this just went through. - Yeah. - Okay. - Congratulations, sir. Glad you're out because, you know, that's a perfectly reasonable thing to do. If somebody points a gun at me, they're gonna die. - Yep. - By the way, this Diana Belarte, or however you say her name, she was the head minister of the Ministry of Development and Social Inclusion and then an officer on the National Registry of Identification and Civil Status, whatever that means. She has generally been considered conservative. He was a fucking Marxist, but she was his vice president. So it's like, what the fuck is going on down there? This is like the weirdest country in the world right now. - It's classic Peru shit though. - I guess, I don't fucking pay any attention to them because why would anybody care? - I try not to, like I don't pay attention to anything really outside the United States. - The only reason to go to fucking Peru is to do ayahuasca, maybe see Machu Picchu. - And so all of my friends who have been to Peru, it was strictly to do ayahuasca. It was never like, oh hey. - You can still see Machu Picchu, but it's like-- - But they wanna do it on ayahuasca. - You have to book it though, well you and I are doing that on ayahuasca. You have to book it like six or eight months out and now it's crazy. - Do they let you, let's say you do ayahuasca there with a shaman next to the, is it a temple or what is it? - The places I've seen are like out in the middle of the fucking jungle somewhere, kind of. - No, no. - Or what were we talking about the ruins? Machu Picchu? - Yeah. - Did they let you shit all over it? - No, they would kill you for that. - They would, okay. - They're pretty protective of that stuff. - Why didn't know if it was in relation to the ayahuasca 'cause you usually have diarrhea if they let you kind of just duke out on the rocks and cleanse yourself there? - I don't think you would wanna be walking around in ayahuasca, to be honest. - Are you laying down the whole time? - Lying down, yes. - Really? - Well not the whole time. Experience is very, it's not like I have a game where you're literally prostrate for hours and hours but it is pretty brutal. - How fucking, how long you lying down for Ibogaine? - It depends on the dose. Usually when somebody on Ibogaine, oh I don't know about Ibogaine, I've never done that. Jared could tell you more about that. - Well he was on what? - But it's a while. Like fucking 12, 15 hours or some shit. - I don't want anything to do with them. - No, there's no, it's only therapeutic. There's no recreational version of that. It's not like, oh, a microdose in Ibogaine. No, you're not. - Nope. - No, you're definitely not friends. - Nope. - That's wild. Next up, sponsor wise, we got my bookie.com promo code drinkingbroze doubles that first deposit all the way up to $1,000. Get off the couch and get into the action today with my bookie.com. Turn your love of sports in your new side hustle. Delco, what do we got here? You and I on Delco Dan's dirty golf show in Drinking Broze Sports that we do every single week. Always pick the winners for the PGA Championship who's top of the leaderboard. Is this the inner shot please still? - Yeah, it's Andrew. - Got you finished at minus nine. - He did. No one's going to touch him today. - Today, but he's not going to win the tournament, right? - Probably not. - All right, who's up next? Is Al's Rory doing? How's Scotty doing? - Rory's five under. - Great. - So he is currently tied for fourth. We got Tony Finau, who's certainly not going to win. It tied for second with Sahih Thigala at six under and Brooks, our pick. - Yep. - It's four. - Yeah. - It's good. It's good, starts today. - Let's go. - You're hovelin' playin' well at three under. You got Cam Smith, Max Homa, Bryson DeChambeau at three under. - There we go. What about Tiger Woods? He was even last time I saw him this morning before we started Ross Patch Revolution. - So Tiger right now, he finished that one over. - That's not bad. - He's not going to make the cut. - You don't think so? - Probably not. - Yeesh, yeesh. But fun event to bet on. Let's take one of the, our shared picks was Brooks Capka. 16 to one, put a couple of hundo on that. So if that pays off, it's 3,200 bucks. NBA playoffs are goin' on right now. Those are a blast to bet on. Bob and Anthony here always bets baseball parlays over there. And then Delco and Bob have their own live casino show through my bookie. When you're playin' in their live casino, Blackjack, Poker, Roulette. It's actually a real casino. So you're goin' against real people in a casino. You're just not allowed to yell at 'em, but at least it's not a fuckin' computer game and all that other shit. So they got everything over there at mybookie.com. Just make sure to use that promo code drinking, bros, to double that first deposit all the way up to $1,000. Next up, Biden's border crisis. It's chaos down there. President Biden is planning executive action. I was cock-tees earlier at the top of the show by Anthony that would allow him to shut down the US-Mexico border once the number of migrant crossings reaches 4,000 per day. Are you fuckin' kidding me? A source to the White House told the New York Post on Wednesday. - Yeah, so the order would match a provision in the quote-unquote bipartisan border bill that failed, it failed to pass a Senate in February, which means it wasn't bipartisan, you stupid content. You can't just call things that. It is an adjective that means something. - Yeah. - It's like the black face of white supremacy, right? It's not nonsensical words being used here. Anyways, which gave the president authority to expel migrants from border crossings reached the same daily average. A legislative proposal would have given the Homeland Security Secretary, discretionary authority to carry out removals, ERO, expedited removals, but would have made deportations mandatory when illegal entries surpassed 5,000 a day over a one-week period. So this one is simply 4,000 per day at any point, I think, could be adjudicated daily. The bill allowed for the suspension of that authority two weeks after the seven-day average falls to 75% of those levels, so they have a sunset clause on letting more illegals into the country, which is weird, why would you have that? A federal government source confirmed to the Washington Post, I'm sorry, the New York Post, that an executive order to limit entries was coming. That was unclear when it would be announced. The White House declined to comment, although today Murphy, Chris Murphy, I think his name is, said he's proposing a new bill, the same exact one that failed before, to do the same exact thing. Now, a couple of things on this. He could completely shut the border down, and he's now demonstrated that, right? - Yeah, that's the first part is so. - But the second part is what I don't understand is, how are they gonna know that they got to the limit of 4,000, being a former bouncer, is there somebody with a clicker out there? - The five major reports report that everything out. This doesn't, the five major border patrol points of entry where people turn themselves in as refugees or whatever the fuck, right? This doesn't include gotaways and things like that, right? So at a minimum, what this does is codifying the law, 1.5 million illegals entered in this country every single year at a minimum, not including the people who sneak in. These are just the people who come and turn themselves in and say, hey, I'm here to break the law. What do we do here? Like, oh, this fucking go ahead, bud. Just go ahead. Now, more and worse, instead of leading, right? Because again, the narrative this whole time from the White House has been, well, this isn't, we can't, we don't have the authority to do this. It's like, well, Trump definitely did it. Nobody's sued it, well, people sued him, but they lost. Like, you definitely have the authority to do it. And now he's proved that by leaking the fact that he's gonna run this executive order. Worse, instead of leading this fucking mongoloid, simply executive ordered what Congress has already rejected. - Yes. - This bill got sent to the House and the Senate and the Senate said no. - Right. - And now he's gonna do it anyway. So I don't wanna hear any more bullshit from leftist cons about democracy or blaming the border of crisis belongs to the repubes now. Like, nope, this border crisis belongs solely to Joe Biden. - Yeah, if he's gonna sign an executive order. - He's the only person responsible for this at this point now, 'cause he's tipped his hand. He showed that he has both the will and the capability and the authority to fucking EO this shit out of existence, but instead he's just going with a bill that Congress already said no to. - So to recap here in November, if you were to vote for this for another four fucking years, you're looking at that we know of, another six million illegal immigrants coming in through the border, that would be technically legal under Biden's thing, let alone anybody else who's coming in through fucking fence holes and shit like that that we don't know about. It's just not sustainable, man. I know why he's doing it. So put him in the fucking cities to redistrict all the maps and all that other shit. I just can't believe that it's happening. - Well, I mean, definitely remember this. When you go, when you talk to your friends about what the fuck's going on in this country and you're having conversations about politics and stuff, remember this. Remember that, as you said, Biden wants to codify into law if he gets another four years in office that another six million illegal immigrants will make their way into this country. So just fucking keep that in mind. - And that's a minimum of six million. I mean, that's gonna be way higher with everybody else who's sneaking in via cartels than all that other shit. Jesus fucking Christ, man. Next up is China hacking boats. Great question here. I thought the same thing. A barrage, I'm sorry, a barge. - Either way. - Yeah, a barrage of fucking barges. A barrage struck the Pelican Island Bridge on Wednesday morning, cutting off vehicle traffic in and outs of the island for several hours. One lane of the bridge that connects Pelican Island to Galveston has now reopened to allow people to leave the island but cars cannot drive onto Pelican Island. On Wednesday night, officials said residents could cross the bridge by foot. The collision occurred around 10 a.m. You have the footage of this bomb? - There's that a picture. - Yeah, pop it up. - Yeah, video from the scene shows a debris from the bridge. Blah, blah, blah. Including a section of the railroad tracks fell onto the barge. Judge Henry says the collision resulted in a spill of vacuum gas oil. I don't even know what that is. - I don't either. They're trying to figure out how much actually spilled in-- - 30,000 gallon capacity is what it has. They don't know how much leaked out but that's the capacity of the crew. So I don't know if it was heading into port or heading away from it. That would tell you whether it was full of fuel or not. U.S. Coast Guard is responding to determine the extent of the spill and initiate the containment and cleanup process. Emergency management officials from the city of Galveston, Texas A&M University at Galveston. I don't know if they're gonna bring in Texas A&M University at Riyadh or not. - Hope so. - Yeah, Galveston Fire and Police, Texas Department of Transportation, they're all responding to the incident. Be careful down there, folks. That's just nasty. Text out will inspect the roadway to assess the damage and the bridge will remain closed until it is deemed safe, official say. Now, this is the second time this is having. In three months? - Yeah. - And I spoke to some people that work with, it's a delicate way to put this, the government. - Yeah. - They work in what's called electronic warfare, right? Drones, by satellites, blah, blah, blah. And they are convinced that the Baltimore shipwreck, and I haven't talked about this yet, but they were convinced that the Baltimore shipwreck was Chinese. They think that there was a denial of service attack or something to that effect, that interrupted the ship's communications. You can remember that the power to the entire ship went out for some amount of time, which is something that we've done before, the Stuxnet virus that we sent into the Iranian nuclear facility that fucking caused a surge and power there and melted that whole fucking place down, exactly like this, right? Now, these, I don't know if it's true or not. No one knows for sure if it's true or not, but the three-letter agencies in the US think that China's responsible for this. I don't know about this one, but for the Baltimore one, I mean. - Well, let's go back to, let's start with Baltimore before we get to this one. With Baltimore, the black box on the ship was magically not working and they don't have footage or any recordings of it for the last, what, two minutes and 30 seconds up until the collision, which I think they probably do, and I think they probably, the government doesn't want to tell us that the boat was hacked, that's my guess. Is that what you're hearing? - Yeah, I mean, they don't look, we don't want-- - 'Cause then people would be afraid. - We don't want to create panic, obviously, especially not if you don't know for sure, so you're not going to hear anything from the government about this, but I'll tell you. Like, I think there's a pretty good chance that this is a denial service attack, a denial of service attack, by the way, is just like a quickly, quick explanation. Remember the old telephone switch boards where you're just like, "Oh, hey, Sarah fucking 251," and she plugs in different cables? Imagine that, but it's all digital. There's no plugging in everything, and like a regular switch has 128 channels on it, right? So you just send a massive amount of traffic into each one of those channels so it fucking freezes the thing up. That's a denial service. I don't know how secure the comms are on these vessels, but clearly not enough, right? I mean, when's the last time you've heard about software upgrades on things like this, for security and shit like that? We're in a new world where there's so much fucking digital information going back and forth, and you can compromise things like this, and remember, not China necessarily, but other adversarial countries, let's say Iran via the Houthis and others, have been attacking our transportation and trying to fuck with our supply chain for quite some time, and this is what you do when you're in war. You fucking attack supply chains. That's one of the most important things you can do, actually, I think it was, was it patent that said that soldiers win battles, but logistics win wars? Or was that Marshall? Yeah, some generals said that amateur study tactics or strategy and experts study logistics. Although, Patton, I did an episode on one of his speeches a little while back, and he had major love for pogues. Like, most of the soldiers that he was giving love to in his speeches about doing an awesome job. Sure, yeah. It was not frontline guys taking bullets. It was guys like fixing wire in the heat of, like, you know, engineers like that. Real heroes, just say it, Bob, just say the real heroes. I mean, for every one of me, there's 18 people making my job possible. Yeah. So we talk shit about pogues and shit, but it's like we can't do anything without them. Because, you know, the other part of this is go back to the pandemic and the supply chain issues there. With record inflation, what we're going through now, supply chain issues on top of inflation would make our economy even worse than it already is. And like, yeah, they have every motive to do this shit with the ships, 'cause this would really fucking hurt the wallets right now, although we're all experiencing the same pain here. This would make it even worse if you had supply chain issues on top of it. 'Cause we saw what it was like during the pandemic. Now, scroll down to that picture one more time, Bob. This was my first thoughts when I saw this picture was how do you fuck this up if this isn't hacked into? Because I just don't see a proper path here that this could have gone on without somebody being hacked or somebody on acid behind the fucking wheel of this goddamn thing. - Yeah, yeah. - So it just that none of this makes any sense to me. I thought the same thing when I saw the Baltimore thing, it was like, man, that's not even close to where that's supposed to be. - No, I mean, and you can see-- - Wasn't foggy or-- - Yeah, you can see that it's on a particular trajectory. I mean, so this is what you would do. Let's just say hypothetically speaking, I had the capability to disrupt your systems on board this vessel. I just wait for you to pull out a port or pull into port and angle yourself in a way that's on trajectory with that fucking post, whatever it happens to be, whether it's a bridge or something else in the ground or whatever the fuck. And then I fucking cut your power. And you're just, you're going fucking 15 knots already if you're outside the mooring stage. If you're even, if you're in the mooring stage, you're going six knots. You're still gonna fucking bang into that thing eventually. And remember, force is mass and acceleration, right? So it isn't just about how fast it's going. It's also this thing weighs fucking a gajillion pounds. So the force when it hits is gonna fuck shit up badly. And this is really simple to do. If you can compromise the system, all you do is fucking wait until it's on the heading and then kill the power, which is what happened in Baltimore. If you recall, it starts turning this way, right? And then the power just goes out and then it fucking comes back on and then it goes out again and they fucking slam into that shit. - Perfect time to do it. - Yeah. - And this was the worry too, when Teslas were getting made of if we're depending upon these driverless systems and all that other shit, what's to stop somebody from hacking into those goddamn things and then the car is going off the road. Now, so far to our knowledge that hasn't happened yet, but it looks like it's happening with these barges because we just, there's just nowhere to go in these photos when you look at this shit. Like I don't, I don't know what else it could possibly be. Again, unless they come back and say, hey, the captain was fucked up or drunk or something. - Well, the captain of the one in Baltimore was Ukrainian, which may be normal, I don't know. These days it seems odd, but who knows? - Sure does. - But yeah, I think some way to, here's the problem. It's like, 'cause your brain immediately goes, well, how can we defeat this? Yeah, you can make the security system stronger, more resilient to fucking hacks and stuff like that. That's part of it. But when we're doing emergency management or risk management like this, we like to think of something called defense in depth, right? Like think of it like stand off and then a wall and then a gate and then a castle inside, right? So multiple layers of security like that. So one of the other things that has been discussed about this is well, can we stop the ship once the power goes out? You can drop anchor, but people are gonna get fucked up, right? Like the people on board are gonna get fucked up big time 'cause you're going from, again, it isn't just about, it isn't just about the speed you're going. It's also about the mass of this goddamn thing. So like batten down the hatches, fucking everybody, hold on to something, we're about to fucking stop and you drop anchor or something or whatever. I don't know what fucking tech they have to do this or if you had some kind of non-networked capability, right? Like I think of not to get too fucking nerdy about it, but Battlestar Galactica, where they had unnetworked computer systems to be resisted to alien hacking and shit like that. It's an example of something, like you have some kind of countermeasure that's not on the network, so it can't be hacked. It's fucking off network. I don't know how to do it. I don't know that much about boats. - That's kind of our nukes, right? - Yeah. - If there's a reason they don't take them off, fucking floppy disks from 1982. - Yep. - One of our listeners, Imperial girl in the chat, says the Baltimore ship was based out of Singapore. I can't confirm that, but. - Yeah, it was. - Okay, yeah. - Which is, I mean, we do a lot of trade with them actually, which is, that part's pretty normal. - But also, all of that's normal too. Like it's like this, the captain's from here, and the ship is based out of that blah, blah, blah. - Yeah, to be honest, a lot of the shipping vessels that are used in the US are not piloted or driven, rather by Americans, if it's, because if it's an American-based shipping company, it has to fly an American flag, and it has to have an American crew, because of the War Powers Act or something like that. - Oh, isn't the one that does weird shit with Puerto Rico? - Yeah, I think it's the War Powers Act, and it says any vessel, including your fucking, like C-Ray 320, can be brought into military service anytime during the National Assembly. - No shit. - Yeah, so. - Jones Act, I think. - Jones Act, is it the Jones Act? That's the one that controls shipping and shit. Is that the one that you can militarize privately owned shipping or personal boat? I don't remember what it is. - We need a tugboat. - Womb Raider saying yesterday. - Womb Raider saying it is a Jones Act, all right, cool. So yeah, that's a possibility as well. So it's not uncommon to have foreign vessels with a completely foreign crew coming into the U.S. For that reason, it's way cheaper. - Gotcha. - Right. Next up, sponsor-wise, we got bioproteintech.com. Guys, over to 30, you're gonna wanna hear this. Every year after puberty, HGH human growth hormone, the hormone responsible for workout recovery, performance, metabolism, and sex drive, starts to decline. Sometimes by 50%, by age 35, doesn't matter who you are, how hard you train, how good you eat, it's happening to all of us. That's where Biopro Plus comes in. 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Comes in 30 little vials, gets shipped to your house once a month, poppin' underneath your tongue, you'll feel a little sting right before 9/9, and you're good to go, dude. Great nights sleep, and then you look great. I mean, I've never looked better, I think, for Christ's sakes. What, dude? I look great these days. Just move on. Or whatever the opposite is. Okay. No, I'm a big fan of their products. Yeah, it is good for all of that stuff. It is. I mean, it's a miracle drug, to be honest. Feels like it, so head on over to bioproteintech.com, click the link in the audio description or the video here, and then use that promo code "drinkin' bros" for $30 off. Next up, we got the NYC. Nope. Whoa, North Carolina's doing this? North Carolina's got a mask ban? The North Carolina State Senate voted along party lines Wednesday to ban anyone from wearing mask in public, even for health reasons. No shit, I did not hear about this story. Republican supporters of the ban said it would help law enforcement crack down on protesters who wear mask. They say demonstrators are abusing COVID-19 pandemic error practices to hide their identities, following a wave of pro-Palestine protest nationwide at North Carolina universities. The bill goes even further and repeals an exception. That's been state law since the early stages of the pandemic that allows people to wear mask in public for health and safety reasons. 30 senators voted in favor of House Bill 237, while 15 opposed it and five were absent. Where were they? Where were they at the beach? I think you were a mom's house. Where were they? Which is close to the beach. Very close to the beach. Like 25 minutes, give or take? No, about five. And traffic over that bridge, come on. Depends on the time of day. Well, if you go into Carolina Beach, it's close. I was thinking, right's full. The real beach, Carolina Beach is not a real beach. It sure is. It's just a bunch of sand with old people on it. It's the best, it's every beach. You just described every beach, except for LA. I don't know what it works. Manhattan Beach is a good beach. It's great to hang out on, not to go in the water. You don't want to go in the water. It's a trust fund beach. Democrats raise concerns about the bill, particularly those who are immunocompromised or those who may want to continue to wear masks. During cancer treatments, it has been reported. State Senator Sidney Batch. A Democrat is a cancer survivor and shared with her fellow senators how her family wore masks to protect her and her weakened immune system during treatments. She and other Democrats proposed ways to amend the bill so police could still crack down on the protesters but continue to have legal protections for health concerns. But they were shot down, the outlet reported. And then GOP Senator Bloch Newton. It's real southern, ain't it? Bloch Newton brushed off the concerns, saying no one saw granny getting arrested at the Walmart pre-COVID. That was his exact quote there. And things law enforcement will use good common sense when applying the law, the AP has reported. I agree, I think they will too. If a fucking granny is wearing a fucking mask out in public, they're not gonna beat her. - I'll slap that bitch right in her face. - So they got the mask off. - Boom. - And somebody said that, a rapper. - Sure did. - Future. - Future, yeah. - It sounds like the government's being like, don't worry, we're not gonna abuse this. We'll be fine. - Yeah, that's always a good thing to believe when the government's like, hey, I know we're making this rule that applies to everybody but don't worry, we won't enforce it. - Yeah, you're all good. - We're making it because we had extra reams of paper. We had to print something on it, right? I mean Joel's been drawing decks on a bunch of paper back there. By the way, wearing mask in public, I think you could pass a bill that says, you can't wear your mask on public property. That is to say, courthouse is so on and so forth, right? Federal buildings, whatever, like that. Actually, the state would have no jurisdiction over federal building, but anything the state owns, like official buildings and shit. And you could say, maybe pass a bill that protected private businesses from rejecting people for wearing those fucking masks because I don't know how the ADA would be involved in that. Like if you're immunocompromised and you walk into a business, does the Americans with disabilities act, say, I'm allowed to wear a mask
