Jesse Kelly Show
President Biden and First Lady Jill Biden
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Jesse, you say the commies will bounce President Poopy pants at the convention. Do you think the debate in June is going to be the reason why? Think about it, he says. They send him out there without his medical fortifications. He falls flat on his face and Trump surges in the polls. Now they have to get rid of him. Thoughts? Question mark. Okay, first. That's just my theory. I need to clarify that it's just a theory. I don't have inside knowledge that they're going to jump, dump Joe Biden. I could be wrong. I have so many of my friends who vehemently disagree with me on this. And they're all sharp people. Buck, Buck, Sexton? Like we're buddies. Like we have a bet about this. We've texted back and forth about this. He thinks I'm insane. He thinks there's no way they can dump him. It's too late in the game. And he might be totally right. He's no idiots. Buck knows what he's doing. So it's just a prediction of mine. The reason I made the prediction was the system doesn't care about anyone. Remember, the system cares about the system. The system doesn't care about Joe Biden. If the poll numbers continue to look bad, the approval ratings bad, he can't talk. If it looks like Joe Biden is the most unpopular president in American history after four years. And right now that's what it looks like. I just cannot see how they would ever run him now. Let me clarify. Again, there are a couple of technical things I need to clear up here. He's not going to drop out and cannot drop out now. And there's not going to be a new challenger to Joe Biden now. The way the rules in the primary system is set up. That's not something that can happen. Zero zip, or I changed my mind. They are his. They belong to him. What has to take place? If what I'm saying turns out to be true, what has to take place is Joe Biden has to go to the convention. He has to accept the nomination and then hand it off after he accepts it. He can turn because of the way the Democrats wrote the rules. He can essentially turn and hand it to anyone he friggin wants. He can he can hand it to anyone he wants that if it's going to happen, that's how it will happen. Now, now that's a theory. Your theory on they're not going to medicate him for the debate and drop him out afterwards. What am I supposed to do? Tell you in it? You're an idiot? It's just a solid is my theory. I gave you my theory. Now, I don't believe you that they'll withhold his meds for the Trump Biden debate because remember, yes, Joe Biden is controlled and goes where he's told and whatnot. But him and his wife, they still do make sure some things are done a certain way. They would never let him Jill would never let them skip on Joe Biden's medication. She just would never allow that. Remember Jill Biden. Remember how horrible this human being is. Jill Biden's husband has dementia. Now, this is her husband. Remember what I know life is hard and it doesn't always work out that way. But I want you to listen to this. I want you to listen to this. Speaking of Jill Biden, listen to that. We played it last night. We'll play it again. Now let it play longer. Listen to how Harrison Butker speaks about his wife. And you can just tell how how she must speak about him for the ladies present today. Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women who have had the most diabolical lives told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her location as a wife and as a mother. I'm on this stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her location. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in being class back in middle school would convert to the faith become my wife and embrace one of the most important titles of all, homemaker. Now let me ask you something, having never even heard from her. If Harrison Butker was president of the United States of America and developed dementia as happens in older people and embarrassed himself in front of a single room of people even one time, how quickly do you think his loving wife would step in and say we're done. My husband's retiring and we're going to go get care because the man I love is not going to be humiliated at the end of his life in front of the whole world. How quickly if she was president, then she developed dementia. How quickly would that man step in one one flub one screw up one time forgetting where she was he would step in. No, this is my bride. This is the end of her life. We're going to go get her some rest and care. We're done here. Jill Biden's husband Joe is mocked across the planet. Saudi Arabian television shows do mockups of how old and lost Joe Biden is. It is in inner. It's not a national joke. It's not a joke in Republican circles. Oh, Italy too. I forgot about that, Chris. Good call. Italy did it too. It is an international joke. Joe Biden at the end of his life is an international embarrassment and an international punchline. Everyone in separate languages make fun of him. And Jill Biden's wife doesn't give a crap. Must be good to be first lady is all I got to say. Must be real good to be first lady. What kind of a woman? What kind of a witch would allow her husband at the end of his days to embarrass himself for what money? Power prestige? Who would do such a thing? Yeah. So Jill Biden is going to make sure that Joe Biden has a souped up cocktail and be ready to go because she got to stay first lady baby Air Force one and Joe go out there and poop your pants in front of the pope again. If you need me, I'll be a blooming dales. Freaking terrible. Yeah, that's just it steams me to no end. And I hate Joe Biden, right? I can't stand him. I can't stand him. He's been a liar in a jerk to everybody. The entirety of his career, he's treated his staffers like crap. He's treated everyone around him. I don't even like that man. And I look at Joe when he embarrasses himself. And yeah, we have fun with it here on the show. And every time he does, I think about his wife. And I say, how in the world could you allow this to go on? How in the world could you allow your husband to be humiliated? Have you been around people going through this? This is what we see on camera. The anger, the stress they struggle with behind it's heartbreaking. Maybe you know someone, maybe someone very close to is going through dementia right now at the end of their lives. It's heartbreaking on everybody on the people suffering from it on their loved ones. They need rest. They need care. They need these things. Joe Biden throws a suit on her husband and kicks him to the wolves every day so she can be first lady. Oh, oh, she's gonna make sure he has his drugs for the for the debate. Trust me. Hey, Oracle, you say that commies will bounce, present. Oh, I already read that one. Oracle, my wife and I are about to have our first child. I'm a farrier and my wife is a veteran. I have no idea how we'll pull it off. Chris, what's a farrier? We looked at up F A R R I E R. I want to sound smart on the radio. I have no idea how we'll pull it off. But we both want to homeschool her. We refuse to hand our baby girl over to a bunch of turbo freak communists so they can turn her into one of them. What are your thoughts on homeschooling? He says PS suck it up and buy the night vision. Your family is depending on you. My wife and I love the show. You can say my name is name is Jordan. Ah, it's just so wonderful. They're about to have their first baby Jordan congrats to you and your bride. All right, homeschooling. Always a spicy topic. I'll give you all my thoughts on homeschooling in just a moment. It is the Jesse Kelly show on a Friday and asked Dr. Jesse Friday and we are moving along here. Let's get to some more emails because we have many. Dear Oracle, I love the show in the book. I hated the day my AC pin broke. Yes, I wore it nearly every day and yes, it went through the wash of time or two. We need to churn out another batch of those by the way. Don't let me forget that Chris. We'll find a discount or something. You go find us a trying us a good deal somewhere. 10 months ago, I was a couch potato. When my dime asked me to go to the gym with her. Five months ago, I started running. Three months ago, I signed up for my first marathon, dad gone. This dude's an animal. I listened to you via podcast every single training run and your Friday evening show gets me through most of the way most away through my long runs. The longest so far is 18 miles. Dang. You inspire me and I hope this inspires someone else. I be honored if you said my name and his name is Jason. How about that? P.S. The Cleveland Marathon is Sunday, May 19th. If you read this Friday, May 17th during hour three, it might give me the boost I need to finish. And he finishes it off by saying I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I have an idea that Jason is going to do just finding Cleveland on Sunday. And best of luck to you, sir, marathons, the wife ran a half marathon one time. And I thought about trying to do it with her. It was back when we lived in D.C., which is a really cool place to do a marathon or something like that. Well, probably not anymore because you get shot. But back then, you would run by all the monuments and everything. I thought about doing it with her. And then I watched. There's just so much running. They were just always running. A lot of running. And I remember thinking that doesn't look like fun. That's way too much running. But it's very impressive the people that do it. I did find out that a lot of the marathon runners pooped themselves if they have to go. And that wasn't ideal. I mean, it made me laugh at that. Well, yeah, Chris, if you're like the competitive ones, if you're out there and you're doing your thing, you know, you're running along and you got to go and they're you're racing. You're racing other people for time. You can't bank on it being a 15 minuteer. You got to just unleash the fury. What Chris? They've got to have a diet. They go on to cleanse all that. Well, I don't know how it works. I don't have any idea what they're doing exactly. But you can go look it up right now. There's some poopy pants on these marathon runs. I'm telling you and imagine running behind one of those guys. All of a sudden you're slipping and you don't be terrible. Absolutely terrible. Now we know why the guys from Kenya do it barefoot. Dear Dr. Jesse, while I'm literally old enough to be your mother, I have to tell you how much I enjoy your sense of humor. My dad was always doing things to embarrass my brother and I when we were kids, such as standing up in a movie theater and leading the national anthem like a conductor on the orchestra. My question for you is what's your favorite thing to do to embarrass your boys? Hats off to you and your wife for raising them right. Our men could use our country could use more strong men with a sense of humor. Her name's Wendy. Oh, that's easy. Well, what's the thing I do that I love to do to embarrass them the most? All right. So you know, I love food and I fully acknowledge that I have as my wife calls it an unhealthy obsession with food. I know that I know I know food actually governs my happiness in a lot of ways. It's really unhealthy and wrong. I know, but I love food. I love it. I love eating it. I love smelling it. And I love talking about it. And I will I am that guy 42 going on 82. I will talk to strangers about their food. And I have always been under the impression I've never had a negative reaction to this at all, especially when you're dealing with another dude it long before I had a wife kids. If I'm eating in a restaurant and some dude orders something beside me, I'll look over. I'm up. Dude, that looks good. What is that? I want to order that. I've never once had never once is a big and a negative response all the time. But dudes take it as a compliment. They're all Oh, yeah, man, it's this is the the booth and sandwich. I highly recommend it. I get it anytime I come in here. All right. Thanks, man. It's very, very cordial. It's very, very cordial. Well, boys, especially young men and women, this applies to young men and women. Even ones who are raised in good homes and confident and happy. You're not quite sure of yourself yet because you're just growing, especially when you hit the 12 and 13 year old, you're skinny. You can't talk to girls. You can't talk to boys. You got a pimple on your face. You're just not as sure of yourself as you will be when you go on later in life. And so I take advantage of that by whenever I'm out with the family. If you're at a table next to me, I'm going to ask you what you're eating. If it looks good, I'll ask them. I've done it to my sons because they're so horrified by it. They'll just put their head in their hands. I've done it in airports. Last time we were in an airport, we were flying out of Houston. I forget when we were going. We were flying out of Houston and we were walking somewhere. And some dude walked was walking the other way walk right by us. And he had a pizza and he added open and he was eating it and it looked fantastic. And as we walked by and just looked right there and said, dude, that looks amazing. Where'd you get that? He said, oh man, thanks. If you walk down there, it's like five gates down on the left. My sons, by the time I got done talking to him, they were a half mile ahead of me in the airport just trying to get away as fast as humanly possible. It is one of my most favorite things to do because it combines two things I love. Food and embarrassing. My sons, when you can do both of those things, look, as the old saying goes, when you find something you truly love to do, you will never work a day in your life. Embarrassing my wife and children, it's a passion project of mine. And I have to say, I'm pretty good. All right. Let's move on to other things. Taxes. You haven't talked much taxes. How much is too much? Hang on. It is the Jesse Kelly show on a Friday and asked Dr. Jesse Friday. And I just I want to touch on this really quickly before I get back to the questions. This is a local news report out of Mississippi, Mississippi passed legislation to keep the trainees out of the women's room. The messaging now eight years later, Mississippi is passing a bathroom bill, but supporters say it's legislation designed to protect women and girls. The safer act stands for securing areas for females effectively and responsibly act. I do not know of anybody in this body that does not want to protect our women, our teenage daughters, or our young granddaughters or young boys and young men for that matter as well. But the ACLU argues. Yeah. We got it. I just I wonder what getting pointed out that I'm glad they passed this law. It's good that we're protecting young women. It's good. It's good. It's good. But probably not a great sign for the society we have when you have to pass laws preventing men from going into the women's room. That's that's a bad sign. Dear King K. so connoisseur. Curious what your thoughts are of queso that has corn added to it. It's an automatic no for me. His name is Jake. He requested this corn is corns. Okay. Look, I'm anti vegetable as a rule as a general principle. I'm anti vegetable. What Chris, I am. However, corn on the cob is actually not that bad when you smear it in butter, and then you dump pepper all over it, buttered and peppered corn on the cob is fantastic. You could just sit and munch on that. Watch your Air Force buddies eat it with two hands. Corn on the cob can be delicious. But anything other than that corn is very, very, very average. And I would never taint queso with it. What Chris? Corn tortillas are not great, Chris. Corn tortillas are for people with no taste and no class and no sophistication. I have to make them fresh. I'm sorry, but I married a white woman. How am I supposed to make corn tortillas and how no one makes corn tortillas in my eye? I don't know anyone who makes corn tortillas. What? You're outside of your mind. You need a Mexican woman to make the best tortillas. White dudes and white people do not. What Michael? A lotes? I don't know her. Who is she? What? What? Either way, corn tortillas are garbage and corn's garbage. Jesse, I don't believe I heard any politician answer this, but how much taxes are enough? Well, I'm not going to answer the question. Me personally, I would go with something like a flat tax. Every single person pays 10%. But I will say this. It's very, very revealing. If you know how to listen to the communists, it's very revealing the things they say. What's what's one of the ultimate lines the Democrats use every time Republicans try to do the one decent thing they ever do, which is cut your taxes. What do Democrats say? What do they say? They pass tax cuts that weren't paid for. They pass tax cuts that weren't paid for. Excuse me? It's our money. The government spending is what's not paid for, but what it really reveals is how they view the government citizen relationship. Because when you say that, they pass tax cuts that weren't paid for, what it does is it makes it very, very obvious that you think all of my money actually belongs to you and that anything I keep, you have simply allowed me to keep in your benevolence. That's why they talk the way they talk. Tax cuts that weren't paid for. Gosh, these people, Jesse, don't you think Trump's pick for VP must be the best person to become president after Trump's second term ends? That person is Ron DeSantis. We are in an unprecedented situation. DeSantis knows DC knows our state houses. He can help Trump the most while Trump can groom him to run for president your thoughts. I need to burst everyone's bubble again. If you're a Trump person hoping for this, or if you're a DeSantis person hoping for this, I know this is going to be difficult to hear. So I'm going to explain something to you. And this is not a theory. Remember, I tell you when I have a theory and I tell you when I know things, these two men do not like each other. They do not like each other even a little bit. Donald Trump is offended beyond belief that Ron DeSantis challenged him in the primary. He is so offended by it that as recently as a month ago, he was trying to find primary challenges against any congressman who endorsed Ron DeSantis. That's how all I know is it's bad. That's how deep it goes. He is offended beyond belief. And Ron DeSantis is mortified by Donald Trump. They're not friends. He is not an admirer. He considers Donald Trump to be the most selfish idiot in politics. Now, I know nobody wants to hear that. Everyone wants to think that these two juggernauts are going to are going to get together and work everything out. I don't care what you think about anything I just said. I'm telling you right now, these two are not going to get together. The Santas endorsed Trump has announced he will fundraise for Trump as kind of a that's kind of a thing everybody does. Trump's the Republican nominee. I'm a Republican governor. I'm going to throw you a big fundraiser at some fancy mansion in Florida and then say I fundraised for you. These two men are never getting together. They have completely opposite views on life and government. And now the rift is way too deep. And you can email me and say, but they should set aside that Trump should set that aside. DeSantis should set that aside. Okay, shoulda coulda woulda. These are men gigantic type A's with gigantic egos. And they're not going to do that. That's not how men work. Donald Trump is the billionaire former president of the United States of America and now Republican nominee to be president again. Donald Trump thinks pretty highly of himself. Ron DeSantis is the greatest governor in America. Probably the greatest governor in my entire lifetime has turned Florida from a purple state and to a blood red bastion of freedom. And he's pretty stinking confident that he knows exactly what he's doing. He has a big ego too. And he ain't going to sacrifice it for him. They're not going to work together. You can drop the DeSantis for VP stuff. You know what's going to be? You think it's too bad now? Chris? I think I've said this before, but you can go ahead and write it down again. Wait for the next one. You want to know what's coming in 2028? Here's what's going to come. So Vivek, you know Vivek, a lot of you are Vivek fans. Well, you saw how Vivek treated Ron DeSantis during the primary versus how he treated treated Trump, right? Every day it was DeSantis is a scumbag. This guy sucks. I love Trump. He's the best food Trump. Love you. You know why he did that? You know why he did that, right? Vivek, for whatever you think of him, love him or hate him is a very intelligent, very ambitious person. He wants to run for president again in 2028. He did all that to set himself up as the Trump heir apparent. He's going to try to take all those America first maggot Trump people and get Trump's blessing Trump's endorsement and be the Republican nominee for president in 2028. And Ron DeSantis is 1000% going to run again in 2028. There's going to be a Vivek Vivek hours, say it, Ron DeSantis clash coming again in about four years. So you can might as well gird your loins for it now and buckle up because it's coming. Chris, I know that's a long one. Go ahead and notch that one down, buddy, because when that one comes true, I'm just going to be obnoxious. Oh, worry, Chris, it's not complicated. It's not an attempt to ban TikTok. It's attempt to make TikTok better. TikTok toe a winner, a winner, a winner, Chris, we'll see who the winner is going to be. It is the Jesse Kelly show final segment of the Jesse Kelly show on a Friday and asked Dr. Jesse Friday. I hope you are ready to dominate the weekend by spending time with your family in your community. I had to do a political thing last night. They asked me to moderate the debate. There was a forum candidate for him. I don't think I call it a debate. They're trying to choose who's going to run the Republican party in taxes and whatnot and I'll say this. It was really old in there and I didn't like it and it's not that I don't mind. It's not that I don't like spending time around old people, but man, I'm 42 and I'm pretty sure I was the youngest one in the building. Now, we have got to have more than just old people get involved in politics. Yeah, old people are going to get involved in politics and that's good. We need them involved, but we can't just rely on the freaking senior citizens. It was an old crowd out there, old crowd. We younger people have got to dig in. We got to dig into we can't just leave it on the poor senior citizens. They're on the back nine and we're banking on them to save us all. Dear Shogun Oracle, my wife finally heard about the meme of how often men think about the Roman Empire and asked me if there are other weird her words things I think about. I'm a little embarrassed to admit the amount of time I've spent thinking about and watching videos of hypothetical animal fights. If there's a video about a lion versus a tiger or a silverback versus a grizzly, I've seen it thought deeply about it and played devil's advocate about what I decided. Do you have any weird obsessions you'd like to confess on national radio? Okay, first of all, you should understand something, sir. Your animal fights video is the most dude thing ever and here's how you know it's the most dude thing ever won. I do the same thing. I have since I was a child always wanted to know who would win this or that this or that there's a who would win. What would happen here? So you're not alone and here's how not alone you are. They used to do things like this in the ancient world all the time. The gladiator games they'd put the animals in there against people against each other because there is an appetite to see who is the strongest, who is the best as for me. All right, so I'm not a survivalist. I really am not. Yes, I do preparations. I do. You know ammunition and food and emergency water and I do make preparations. I really genuinely do, but I do not freak about it and I'm not obsessed about it. I don't spend the weekends building a nuclear bunker in my backyard. However, being abandoned on a desert island, you know, cast a waste of Robinson Crusoe style. I probably probably once a day, I think about how I would do what I would do. I have gone through if I'm sitting there daydreaming on the way to work. I've gone through in my head how I would catch fish. Am I 100% sure I could start a fire? What would I do for shelter? If I if I I have thought about this extensively and I don't know why it's it's not a it's not that I want it obviously. It's a I want to know if I if I'm made of strong enough stuff to survive and would I try to get off the island? Would I stay there forever? Would I try to build a raft? Would I just write SOS in the set? Oh, I've done it all in my head. I've done it all. In my mind, I've built an entire city for me. I've been all I know and I'm not even a builder. I don't even know what I'm doing, but I don't know why I want to know if I could do it and no, I'm not going to sign up to do the show survivor or something like that. I'm not doing any of that, but I'm telling you, I've thought about it many, many, many times and I'll tell you one thing. If I if I win, I would most definitely have a hatchet. If I was allowed, I'd have a knife and I would definitely bring along my burn up pistol launcher because what Chris, listen, burn up pistol launchers, not only are they a non lethal option, I believe in lethal and non lethal, they're a non lethal option. They shoot these pepper balls or tear gas balls. They're legal in all 50 states with no background check, no permit required. They mail it to your front door. So no matter what island I'm on, it will be legal for me to have my burner. What Chris, go get a burn up pistol launcher, swap teams around the country use it. These things save lives. They're already saving lives. Go look, over a half a million are already gone and climbing. People are obsessed with these things and they should be. Burna is B Y R N A. Burna dot com slash Jesse gets you 10% off. B Y R N A. Susie, these things are awesome and practicing with them is so much fun. Get the practice rounds. You won't regret it. And now he's a headline. Go. You know the thing. Emails we didn't get to. What do you think about the Glenn Yunken as Donald or think about Glenn Yunken as Donald Trump's vice president? I like it a lot. If we thought Virginia was in play and it might be, I guess I like it a lot. I hear great things about Glenn Yunken. I hear he's not nearly as as moderate establishment as he appears. He has to appear that way because it's Virginia. But from what I hear and I don't know him and I, but I know people who know him. I've heard he's hardcore, but he has to do the kind of, well, I'm just a nice Republican type thinks he's trying to get elected in Virginia. I've heard he's pretty good. Hey, Mr. Softmouth crispy chip hater. My wife is the epitome of a Norma. She literally knows nothing about politics. She comes to me for all her political opinions. Do you think single women vote Democrat because they're uninformed dolts like my wife? He said just kidding. If so, can we amend the 19th amendment to married women only? Let's say you. Listen, I don't know why you guys complain about this. You think my wife doesn't ask me who to vote for? Who to vote for? What issues to vote on? And she is a political person, but she still comes and asks me. And you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way because I get two votes in my house. I have twice the voting power of you. Mr. Pre diabetic. I'm fine. I'm not pre diabetic. When I was in the core, guys in the galley and in the band were promoted more easily over the grunts. Why was this? There is a laundry list of reasons why guys in some fields get promoted faster than guys in other fields. A lot of it can come down to simply room. How much room is there? Meeting if you're in the Marine Corps, they're only going to promote so many guys to sergeant in an area or in a unit. So do a lot of guys qualify. Do not many guys qualify? If you're in one of the like band, I mean, how many freaking guys are in the band? So there are going to be slots that are going to open up. Jesse, when people show up at my door uninvited, I have a blanket policy to slightly open the inner door, but keep the security door closed. Tonight, an older teenage girl came by and I pulled my standard operation. And I got yelled at by my wife and kids. Am I a jerk? I think I'm helping because I never give money or buy their stuff. So they save time. See, I'm helpful. Listen, I don't think it's wrong to answer the door halfway to only open the door halfway. It's certainly better than how I answer the door. I answer the door with a weapon every time. Every time it's in my right hand, it's hidden behind my thigh. You can't see it. But every single time I'm turned to the side, if I answer my door, I have a gun. That's all there's to it. That's how I do it. My family's mortified. And I'm not changing. I like me. It's the weekend time. Put your phone down. We'll pick it up again on Monday. Metal of Honor Mondays come will have a blast. All right, that's all. 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