(groaning) That's not just the sound of that first sip of morning Joe. It's the sound of someone shopping for a car on Carvana from the comfort of home. - That's a good blend. - It's time to take it easy. Like answering some easy questions to get pre-qualified for a car in minutes. - Talk about starting the morning, right? - Just like customizing your terms so your car fits your budget. Visit Carvana.com or download the app to experience car shopping the way it should be. Convenient, comfortable. (groaning) (groaning) - That's not just the sound of that first sip of morning Joe. It's the sound of someone shopping for a car on Carvana from the comfort of home. - That's a good blend. - It's time to take it easy. Like answering some easy questions to get pre-qualified for a car in minutes. - Talk about starting the morning, right? - Just like customizing your terms so your car fits your budget. (grunting) - Visit Carvana.com or download the app to experience car shopping the way it should be. Convenient, comfortable. (beeping) - Ah. (dramatic music) - Live from our studios in Austin, Texas, this is Drinking Bros. Fate News, with Ross Patterson. Dan Holloway. Papa G with the traffic. - How you feel? - You look good. - Yeah? - Field reporter, Hot Boss. And Delco Dan with Sports. Welcome to Fate News. - Yeah, welcome to Drinking Bros. Fate News, everybody bringing you the realest fakest news of the week. Start off with some real news here. - Thank you to everybody that came out to Frisco, Texas, HEB on Friday nights. Got to hang out with a ton of you guys. Ripped through some cases, getting rocked in the stores. And yes, we did give out the first five people. Boxes of Cheddar Bay Biscuits. 'Cause it's getting bad at Red Lobster now. Numbers came out today, Anthony. It's getting real bad there. - What are they? - Oh boy, it's a shit show over there. It's a real fucking shit show. Five CEOs in the last five years. I didn't know that. - For Darden or for Red Lobster? - For Red Lobster, just the Langosto Roho. It might be a Langostino Roho. Not sure fact check me on that on your own time there. Got a brush up on my Spanish. They lost $11 million apparently in the $20 all you can eat shrimp as well last quarter. - Oh yeah, I mean, who would have thought? - And I heard from a friend of mine, actually that, it turns out 13% of the population eats 65% of the shrimp at all you can eat buffets. - Really? - Which makes sense that we will be going there for Juneteenth. That's the joke he has made. - There it is, there it is. Yeah, there was an overweight friend of ours who posted a picture on Facebook about how empty was at the inside of, what's the corral buffet that you always talk about? - The corral? - That's it. - They had a remodel. - Oh wow. - If you knew who, I'll tell you after the show who it was, you'd be like, oh, of course. Of course he was about posted a photo of it. - Was he eating shrimp off of his stomach like a fucking otter? - I don't know. - Just cracking shells. - I don't know. - Eating the food off his tum-tum. - We can say it, I guess. It was Jamie. I love you, Jamie. I just thought it was hilarious that you went out of your way to take pictures of the remodel inside the golden corral. - Hey, look, you like what you like, man. (laughs) - And if anybody-- - Why are you ever that excited about, holy shit, they remodeled the golden corral. - What do I get excited about? So that's not a fair question for, to make this point on his behalf, but I will say, if there's a white out there that's celebrating Juneteenth, it's definitely Jamie. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - Big time. - For sure. - You wouldn't know it by talking to him, but-- - No. - He's definitely celebrating. - We don't have black kid though. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We don't know what's half yet, bud. - No, no, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out shortly, but that was fun. And then Bob, real quick here before we hop into the old memes, 'cause we always do the memes on Monday, we got a real life one. Bert Coons, that piece of shit, has still never sent me my boots. From Bison Union, we're going on year five or six of this right now. He said a listener stopped him inside the gym and said, give Ross his fucking boots. This is TJ right there, and he's flipping off the camera with Bert. If you're out in public and you see Bert Coons, stop him and go up into his face. We're gonna maxine waters burning Bert Coons today. Stop him, get in his face, get aggressive with him and say, send Ross his fucking boots, dude. Size 12, that's it. There's nothing crazy there. It's not like a shack size shoe. I don't wear wide shoes or anything else. It's just your stock standard white man's 12 size boot. That's it. It's all I want, Bert. Christ, how many years? 'Cause he's getting married again. Yeah, but I'm not sure your race had anything to do with it. Like black and white people have the same kind of feet. Did they really? Yeah, just feet. Didn't know that. Didn't know that. But yeah, just standard white man boot. I mean, they do have an extra bone in their ankle to make a jar here. I'm sure they're there. I think it's-- They want to say it. But that doesn't affect the boot. Okay, didn't want to say it-- It only works when they're in tennis shoes, sneakers. Didn't know, but to TJ, all right, appreciate it. Appreciate you having my back here. Bert said he's a day one listener there, and they're working out now, so fuck off. Do you remember when people used to say that? Well, we won't go to the wedding. You grew up in the South. Yeah. People used to say shit like that. Like what? Like that black people had an extra bone in their foot. Oh yeah. To jump higher, I'm like, you know, we can just go look, right? You know, they said it on TV. Yeah, it was Jimmy the Greek, if you look it up. He said on live TV. He also said, what do you say, they had a stronger quad muscles from the 400 years of slavery or something like that? Bill Burr said that we accidentally sent one race to the gym for 400 years, and now they're beaten as at all the sports, which is a better way of saying it. That's true. But no. That's probably true. No, none of that's true. You don't think so? No. Why can't we dunk? I said that on "Uncirc the other day." Oh, I mean the extra bone or something. Yeah, but I can't jump. I can't dance. Like, what's wrong with the stereotypes being true, I can admit it? Soft Europeans, sure. Know what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we got used to doing easier things. Yeah, that makes sense to me. So not a big deal. No, I don't know why. I don't look at it as a big deal either, where I'm like, all right, sweet, man, fuck. You know who is it? It's shit that I can't do. You know what, speaking of this, who was a big deal? Who? Kobe Bryant. Oh, no. No, no, no. No debate about that. No. He was a big deal. He was. And he's inspired an entire generation of famous people. Sure has. Sure has. What did you bring us to the first theme today? Is this the first meme? Goddamn right it is. Because it's also our top story today too. That's right, yeah, I love being a boy. It's called vertical integration, bitch. Yeah, sure is, sure is. Bob, I don't know why you're screwing all the way down there. Let's go. I just sometimes I like to see if the mouse is ready to go. You know what I mean? Click and slide. This is going to get dark. If we're starting with a Kobe meme heading into a Kobe story today, it's going to get bad. It's not just about Kobe. OK. What do we got? OK, so you got Kobe at the top. And you've got Pergosian bottom left. And you've got Rizie, or how do you say his name? Rizie bottom right. And the thing that binds them together is dying in a helicopter crash. Fuck. Only the good day. I don't know how old the guy from Pergosian died in a helicopter. I thought it was a private jet jet. Well, look, man, just don't fucking-- I suspect it by discipline. They're all private. They're all private, OK? It's the one-- the one hater in the room had a fucking blue in the joke. But you can find somebody else that died in a helicopter crash. Who's the one guy, John Denver? Like one out of every two of helicopters go down. That's not a famous person at all. Not a famous person. That's just fast. Now, didn't John Denver die in a helicopter crash? No, he died in a private jet. Or no, I'm sorry. John Denver was one of those little sessions. He was trying to dock holiday shit. This next one's called "Survival the Fittest." I think every one except for one is racist this week. Great. Sweet, sweet, with this one, the first one. Not racist. Well, that's-- That's what I'm saying. No, no, no. I guess that's not right. So two out of the seven-year or not racist. OK. By the way, this meme page, "Bull Moose Memes" is one of my favorite. Is it really? Yeah, I like it a lot. Shout it out. We'll pop them on there and see what else they got. Just go through the first couple of names. It's very libertarian-minded. Oh, Teddy Roosevelt is their fucking logo up there. So that makes sense. Yeah, right. Let's see here. They've got more of these, by the way. Join us even, because he's just JFK, Jr., Buddy Holly. It's just people who died in crashes. I like that. Let's see if I'm trying to find a non. Stevie Ray Vaughn died in a helicopter crash. Yeah, it was a helicopter. He's looking it up right now. Let me see. Here's a good one. This is just the type of stuff I like, where it's horseshoe theory, where it's radical Palestine. We'll destroy you all. Radical Israel. We'll destroy you all. They want to destroy us when destroy us. And then there's just base chat. Nuke them both. Yeah. Fuck it. I just want to survive. I kind of take the count of reuse position there, which is shoot the hostage, right? Yeah. I think it's always appropriate, even if the situation is over. You still pop them one time. Just to make sure. Don't get kidnapped again, asshole. You don't have time for this shit. Just to make sure. What do we got up next? Yeah, this is called survival of the fittest. Survival of the fittest. Yeah, you're going to want to turn the volume on, I guess. Bob, read the text. POV, colon, when you're out, in the wild, and it's survival of the fittest. As you can see, the don't white fellow flies into the water. He knows they won't follow him there. As you can see, the don't white fell. That's a great-- Hover on that account and see how many followers they have. I think it's-- yeah, $75. $75, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like this. It's another example of Black content creators doing racist shit. It's super funny. We all enjoy it. It's like the Chappelle show all over again. Just don't get too serious about it, I guess. So for the audio listeners there, it was four young Black gentlemen trying to fight a white man. He jumped into the pool. And four Black gentlemen did not. I did not. They decided to set that one out for reasons unknown. I would probably-- probably guess. All right. This next one's called Americans, just Americans. All right. Americans, pop it up here. Do you know Americans are the best at solving Rubik's cubes? This is because they have a history of separating colors. Did you know-- I mean, that's kind of a clown on us. It is. To be honest. As a country. But as a country. Technically, the Spartans invented racial slavery, so-- That's on them. Yeah. We did it later on in the road, exactly. That's a great sketch. They also formalized pedophilia. Did they? Yeah. Not great. I mean, look, they didn't invent it, but-- They didn't invent it, but they made a part of culture-- Who invented pedophilia? I mean, the first dude to see one of those sweet young bodies. Of course. Damn it, man. I just don't get it. Pedophilia probably predates writing and farming by a good several hundred thousand years. I just don't understand it. It's just not something you could get off on. All right. What do we got up next? This next one's called Eat My Dust. Eat My Dust. This is not racist. It says day 72 on there. Time to eat my dust. [MUSIC PLAYING] Time to eat. If we didn't have a 9/11 meme today, I don't know that I would have been able to live. Yeah. And especially because I'm getting on a flight tonight. So yeah. Well, I'm not going to New York. RIP in advance. Yeah, I appreciate it. If dying in Atlanta building, like if I smashed into the Coca-Cola factor, I got to go to Atlanta. Smashing into the varsity. This is all good. What a horrible way to go. It's all greasy and old black plays. Oh, honey, you OK? Yeah, you OK, huh? You OK? Now we made it racist. Now we did. Yeah, so congratulations, folks. Timmy trippin'. Timmy trippin'. This is a-- Man, Timmy trippin', man. This is the next one, Timmy trippin'. Timmy trippin'. Play this. Oh, it says Timmy trippin'. Yeah. OK. At least something your mom doesn't know and I'll buy whatever you want. I say the end would harder. What? Holy shit. Holy shit. Not for no shoes, boy. [LAUGHTER] This dude, what's named Zone Hefner or some shit? He does pretty funny reaction stuff if you want to follow him, too. Man, that's a great one. He reacts to casually racist stuff on the internet and just laughs at it the whole time. OK. But he's got other stuff, too. Wow, that's a great video. Yeah, it's funny. That's a vine. That's why Elon owns Vine. Bring it back, dude. What are you doing? It would be wildly popular right now. I know. It's not like there's about to be a huge market gap in quick videos. Yeah, that's right. It's right. Seriously. Maybe he's waiting for it. You know, waiting for that, and he's already got it all ready and he's just going to release it the next day or some shit. I guess, man. This next was called Papa Wheelie. And I don't know if this is necessarily racist, but it's racially embedded. Charged? Charged is a good way to say it. All right. What does it say, Bob? If Lizzo was alive in the 1940s, this account is titled NIG Beans. I'm sorry? NIG Beans. So do you pronounce that? I'll pass. You're a crime. I just wonder what I tell people in the street. Wild man, where you-- [LAUGHTER] Wild man, where you-- How can you describe what's happening and then give some context for why it makes sense? I can if you don't want to, Bob. But if you don't want to risk it, I'll say it. It's not a crime to say what other people did. It's true. It's very true. It shows Lizzo, and then it cuts to a school bus. Well, let's back up. Who's Lizzo? Lizzo is an African-American singer that is plus size. OK. Because that's all important. Yes. That's all of those things are important. If you listen to the show and didn't know who Lizzo was. Well, maybe a first time listener. Yeah. That's a lot. I feel like that Venn diagram's low. But regardless-- [LAUGHTER] Then it cuts to a bus starting to drive, and the front tilts up. Now, this is clearly at some sort of demolition derby or monster truck show. But the joke is that it's a bus, and the front tilts up off the ground while the back stays on the ground. Sure. Now, why would she be in the back of the bus, Bob? Well, in the 1940s, during segregation in the South, African-American women and men of all sizes were relegated to the back of the bus. Yep. And sure were. And so Lizzo, being in the back of that bus in the 1940s-- Made it pop the wheelie. Caused it to tip. Do you think there's something about-- because when we were all in school, if you were taking the bus, being in the back was where the cool kid sat. Is this just another example of black people making something cool and white people stealing it? Maybe. Yes. No. 100%. Look, we all have our function in society. I agree. Right? Like seasonal migrant labor keeps our shit cheap. Fine, fair enough, right? Just go back after-- if you don't mind, just get out of here. And then we steal from black people. Just the way it is, man. I mean, the world, or at least America, is basically bringing it on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movie? Yeah. No, OK. Yeah, well, I'm just making sure. Last one is lock them up, but it's not what you think. It's not what I think. Well, lock them up is usually in reference to Hillary Clinton, right? Yeah, yeah. But it's not what this is. The caption is, what would you do if I walked past you? And there's a black guy walking. There's a wumbly past you. And he's trying to look like Devanair, Squawk, the boner. [MUSIC PLAYING] Got to a white guy lock in his car door there for the audio listeners, so. Needed to happen, you know, you never know. And that's just being safe anywhere in the world today, regardless of race. So good for him. Good for him. This is a good week of memes. Jesus Christ. All right. This is one of our best ones, one of our best weeks ever. Now to the news, kids. Iranian president goes full. Kobe. God damn it. That one's still hurts, man. Kobe still hurts from him. Iranian president Ibrahim Raisie, however the fuck you pronounce his name, the country's foreign minister [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] Whatever his name is. And others have been found dead at the site of a helicopter crash after an hours-long search through a foggy mountainous region of the country's northwest state media reported. Raisie was 63. The death of Raisie, nicknamed the butcher of Tehran for his oversight of mass executions of political prisoners in 1988, forced Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khomeini to install interim leadership for Iran's executive branch. In Israeli official denied to Reuters, the country had any involvement in the deadly crash, saying bluntly, it wasn't us. Iran for years. Shaggy could not be reached for comment, by the way. All the world also told he was not involved. It wasn't me. I've heard that. It wasn't me. Unclear. Unclear if Shaggy was there or not. Iran has, for years, been backed by the terror group. Hamas, and currently engaged in its months-long war with Israel. Iranian state TV said Monday that there was no sign of life at the crash site of the helicopter that was carrying the 63-year-old Raisie and the 60-year-old Abla-la-la-la, and other officials after it made a hard landing on Sunday. The hard landing comment that floated around the weekend, I thought, was the funniest. Are we just saying hard landing instead of crash? It seems like a completely unnecessary euphemism. Sure does, right? Sure does. I guess there might be some fine line between hard landing and crash, but if everybody's dead and on fire, I don't know that there's a necessary fucking distinction there. Coby's wasn't a hard landing. It was a crash that they got. By the way, the foreign minister is like their secretary of state. So it'd be like if, basically, if Biden and Blinken were in a-- although they're in a parliamentary-- it's a different kind of system, right, with the presidency than ours, because they have a Supreme Leader as well. But anyways, yeah, they-- this would be like if Biden and Blinken died in a helicopter crash, basically. So it's a big deal for Iran. It's a huge deal. The other wild part about this is, you know, as the years have ticked by and drinking bros, I lean more towards the conspiracy side of things when all this shit happens. This one, however, there was no doubt. There's actually video of him on the plane, and it's foggy as shit on this helicopter. I don't know if you have it on Twitter, Bob, but they have a picture of him as the plane is going up. It's foggy as shit. It looks exactly like the Coby's ditch there. And this appears as if this was all just a very, very happy accident, you know? Happy for whom, right? I mean, look, we've gone through these-- The Middle East. We've gone through these paces before. We thought it would be nice to get Saddam Hussein out of power, too. There's always somebody, like, in a country this complicated as Iran is. Now, you could say whatever you want to do about Sudan, about Somalia, right, or some of these countries, Haiti, right? That no matter what goes on there, it's always fucked. Iran is-- Iran, Iran, how you say it-- is a massive country with massive influence. They have a very large stake in OPEC. Like, the geopolitical fallout from this could be massive, but in addition, you can't just be a wild, crazy, authoritarian asshole lunatic and get that position. You have to be somewhat reasonable, right? Like, magenta, jada, jada, jada, jada, whatever the fuck his name was. Great Twitter follow. Yeah, he really-- Like, a super-- he certainly has some, from my perspective, morally objectionable political opinions. There's no question about that. But relatively stable in that position, right? It's a different culture. You can't be a lunatic and have that job, right? Now, we have this dude who's-- look, I mean, he's been doing some weird shit lately, said some horrible things about Israel. That's nothing new for Iran, right? That's pretty much stock standard. He's also been abusing the press, abusing protesters, also stock standard for them. It should be a concern for the West that someone crazier than him gets in the past. Someone either crazier or too incompetent to keep the religious zealots at bay, because that's the fight in the Middle East, in the big countries, right? In Qatar, in Saudi Arabia, in Iran. This is the big fight, is between people who want to fucking get rich and make money and improve their country, even if they have, you know, morally objectionable or dastardly ways of going about it versus theocratic people, like the Ayatollah, who just wants a fucking global caliphate, right? Like, these are parties that kind of, in a fucked up way, balance each other out to some degree. So we've got to be extremely careful about how we handle this stuff, right? Not you and me, obviously, but like the West. - Probably me. - The West in general needs to keep a very close eye on this. I'm sure we're monitoring all the electronic traffic right now. This guy that's been put in charge of Mohammed Makbar. - Mohammed! - He's the vice president, right? - So he's gonna, they just tapped him to be the active president. - Yeah, he's gonna be acting as of today. He's been made the acting president. Iran's constitution specifies that if approved by the supreme leader, the first vice president will assume acting presidential powers. If the president dies, the Iran supreme leader, I had told a, I had told a committee, tapped Makbar, I would say his name on Monday, and then ensured there would be an election for new president within 50 days, right? Which is really fucking fast. Now, I'll believe what you want about Iranian elections and how they, if they're real or not, right? When the supreme leader or whatever is just appointing people, but state media also reported that Makbar, who by the way, 68, he's quite a bit older than-- - Five years older. - Yeah, Raisie. - And Raisie, he's 63. He led an emergency meeting of Iranian government's cabinet and was receiving calls from foreign officials as the death was announced last night. Raisie who was killed along with a foreign minister and other officials was widely considered to be a potential future supreme leader, right? After a committee dies. So this upsets all of the internal politics of Iran. Now, it might be a good thing, to your point, and the time being, because how coordinated are they gonna continue to be, funneling money to the Houthis and Yemen who are attacking US and British ships all the time, or to Hamas and Hezbollah and so on, right? So maybe there's a delay there in being able to fund the projects that they're working on overseas, which is Gaza and shit like that, right? That's what's going on. So we'll see. I mean, Mukbar is really close with Khomeini already. He picked him, Khomeini picked Mukbar to be the chief executive of Sitad, which is a multi-billion dollar financial empire control exclusively by Khomeini. Like he hired him to be his money man to manage all of his shit, right? So these two go way back. That should be of great concern to people, that he's bringing in his fixer, right? That he's making Ray Donovan his fucking new president, which is probably what's gonna happen, and then putting him in line to become the next Supreme Leader as well, right? - So with this guy, he's been sanctioned by the United States and its allies in 2010, European Union sanctioned him and seven other Iranians for being involved in nuclear or ballistic missiles activities. When I saw this, I thought to myself, is there a shot that the Iranian people would have a civil war overthrow this guy or whoever's coming into power? Because it seems like it's been on the brink of that for years anyways, because I saw a video and I can't confirm if this is real or not, but from like 1979, where there was just women walking through the streets, dressed normally, everybody looked like Americans essentially, walking around, and then that all changed at some point there, but it appears from the outside looking in that the Iranian people want to have a democracy, they just haven't been able to do it, could they do it now, or is this guy too ingrained in it? If he's been doing shit since 2010, everybody knows who the fuck this is, and this is a natural succession. - Yeah, we'll see, I mean, if you're an agitator in Iran right now, I'm sure you wanna make a move. - Yeah. - But they are in a weakened position to some degree, which means that they're gonna come after people fucking hard. They may already be, I mean like, so if it's me and I'm running an authoritarian regime, the president dies and all these wheels go into motion, the first thing I do is go round up people that might start talking shit before they even say anything, right? That's been Iran's history actually, 'cause what they don't want right now is more public demonstrations and public executions. It's a bad book right now. Like you want everything to seem stable, even if it's not. Not just, so nobody attacks you, but also for financial markets, for your deals with OPEC and all this other stuff. Like they can't afford to have a disruption in this. - What do you think happens? What's the end game here? - I don't know what happened. I mean, I'm kind of curious. Like, yeah, Israel said it wasn't them. I don't see any reason to believe it was. - Iran has already blamed the United States. - Okay, you're kidding. - Of course, but specifically, wait, can I tell you what it is? - Yeah. - Definitely four. I read this earlier today. Four specifically because of some embargo. We have on that. - Sanctions. - We can't, yeah, because of our sanctions, they can't get better helicopter parts. And so because the helicopter malfunction, 'cause it had shitty old parts, we killed 'em. - Just passing the buck. - Yeah, passing the buck. Scroll up, Bob, on Twitter there. There's a couple of photos of them searching the area. Not that one, go up one more. Yeah, that was later on in the day. So go up, no, no, I mean, go up. Yep, the other way. Thank you, keep going. - Okay, this is the top. - Oh, it's the very top. - Yeah. - Okay, keep going. 'Cause there it is right there in the second video down. So that was the search. And then these are the guys going out on the search. That's how foggy it was during this fucking search. After the helicopter had already crashed. - Yeah, that's it. - If it's like that from the ground, imagine from the air. So-- - That's the point I was gonna make. I assumed that Iran would at some point talk shit and blame people for this. But it is sincerely a Kobe issue, right? - Yes, look at this. - It's probably that either the president said fuck off or going, or that the pilot was too afraid to say no to a guy that would cut his goddamn head off, right? Those are two very distinct possibilities. And the fact that they had to bring in two separate countries and couldn't even find the goddamn crash site for a full day because of the fog. - Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have been flying in that. That seems obvious. I don't know. - But there's no way to blame anybody else but yourself in this. And I'm actually grateful, going back to the conspiracy thing that I said earlier. I'm grateful that you do have this footage. You are able to see it because there's nothing else to pin this on at this point other than incompetence of trying to take a helicopter up during this. And do you not understand how important you are when you're in that helicopter like, man, if I crash, the whole fucking Middle East is gonna turn into a shit storm. I'll probably sit this one out for the day and get my dick sucked somewhere in the woods. You know, I don't get it. I don't really get it. I guarantee they love Kobe over there. They had to have seen that footage at some point. Everybody's seen that footage in the world. Why take off or attempt to land in something like this? Doesn't make any sense. But whatever the opposite of RIP is, it's for this guy. He was a real piece of shit, so. Fuck off. Next up, Fauci for prison at long last national institutes of health, principal deputy director Lawrence Tayback admitted to Congress Thursday that U.S. taxpayers funded game of function research at the Wuhan Institute of Virology in China in the months and years before the COVID-19 pandemic. Dr. Tabick asked repubed Debbie Lasko of Arizona of the select subcommittee on the coronavirus pandemic. Did the NIH fund gain of function research at the Wuhan Institute of Virology through a Manhattan-based eco-health alliance? It depends on your definition of gain of function research, they said. If you're speaking about the generic term, yes, we did. That's it. That's the end of story right there. Go ahead and send them away forever after that. I don't really understand this. - It's funny because the response to this has been from Francis Collins who was the head of the Human Genome Project as well. He wrote that little song, you remember? - There's a great little song. - Gay as fuck. - Yeah. - Yeah, so the response has been, yeah, oh yeah, yeah. We were doing gain of function, but none of it would have produced COVID. None of the, we were funding specifically would have produced that. Like you're out of your fucking mind. We've done this game too many times over the past couple of years. It starts with an absolute denial that anything's happening. Then it's like, oh, well, you know, it's not that big a deal. You know, maybe something is happening. What's not that big a deal? Like prove, prove that it even did anything, right? Like, well, and then it goes to incredulousness. Like, why are you making laws against this stuff? It's not even a real thing. It's like, well, you just admit it to it, right? - Right, right. - I think personally that Fauci, Francis Collins, all these people that so-called experts, the head of the CDC, whatever the fuck her dumb name was, all these people should be tried, right, for murder. The people that lied about this stuff that were involved in the direct funding of gain of function research that unleashed this virus on the world, they should be tried, and let's do it their way. Let's try them for every fucking death that they say happened, every single one of them. So Fauci gets three million counts of murder and then you fucking execute that piece of shit. And Francis Collins, you rip his mustache off first 'cause he doesn't deserve it. - Sure doesn't, sure doesn't. - Don't do that mustache. And you kill him too, right? There's got to be justice. Otherwise, somebody else is gonna do it again later. - And a mustache in this world, a good one, is earned. It's not deserved. - Well, he earned it by on the Human Genome Project, mapped the Human Genome, huge deal, right? Lost it with this, completely lost it. Like, you got to fucking surrender that mustache. - Got to give it up. - Surrender it to the proper authorities so there's no damage. - But nothing happens to these people, and it doesn't really matter. And you can pick and choose which trials you want to go on, which trials you don't. Nothing's ever gonna happen to this fuck. They're gonna try to ride this out and let him die in four or five years, Fauci. You think he's even in America right now? - I mean, I think he's in America behind a fucking locked door with guards. - Probably, right? - Yep. 'Cause that's about it for that guy. And yeah, nothing you can do. We got some breaking news here. Trump trial prosecution just rested its case after Michael Cohen's fiery testimony. This was wild today. I'll go ahead and read this story and add it here, speaking of trials that shouldn't happen. Trump trial, Michael Cohen admits on the stand that he stole money from the Trump organization, Trump organization. In testimony, Michael Cohen, the former lawyer, and fixer for Donald Trump resumed testimony under cross-examination at the Hush Money Trial for the ex-presidents. Cohen admitted he stole from the Trump organization by pocketing money. That should have gone to a tech company. Closing arguments in the case were set for May 28th. But a big question remains whether Trump will take the witness stand in New York. That answer's going to be no here. There's no need after this. But Michael Cohen himself said that he pocketed between 30,000 of the 50,000 he received from the Trump organization and then gave about 20,000 to the tech firm Redfinch, which previously worked for the Trump organization as he testified in a Manhattan Supreme Court. He testified that although Redfinch's owner would have preferred getting the full 50,000 he was owed, he was placated for the time being. When asked if he lied about stealing money for this, he said yes, I did. I don't really get how this trial is even still allowed to go on here. - Yeah, it's weird, man. It's like, it's the NBA playoffs right now, right? So this would be the equivalent of having a technical foul commit, so the game's tied, right? Or you're down one. No time left on the clock and somebody, you get a technical foul. You're like, oh shit, we're going to get two free throws with no distractions. You know we should pick. It's Shaquille, God damn O'Neal. We're going to bring him up here and make that the crux of our ability to win or lose this fucking game. Because did they really, I mean, maybe this has all been a distraction. They knew they couldn't get a conviction on him and it would be embarrassing for them. They just want to tie him up during this period so he couldn't campaign and shit, which he's doing anyway, so it's not working. - Right. - But maybe that's it. - I think it's less about campaigning and more of it being a money suck. - Could be that too, yeah. - He keeps talking about how he does not have campaign funds to run more, that's what I would have been. - It could be, I mean, look, it's Trump so he doesn't have to run ads, frankly, right? He's going to get earned media because they can't help themselves. But it's the, man. - Even on CNN, look. - Or did they, or did they, were they so hard to fucking prosecute this dude? That they just believed anything anybody told them? Like Cohen, because he's the worst witness I've ever seen. - That's what they did literally with Weinstein, right? Look at all the stuff they let go through that trial with Harvey Weinstein in the same-- - I mean, it hurt him in LA, right? I mean, they lost that case. - Well, he just-- - He lost both. - That's what I'm saying, it's in New York, where this was. And they let a bunch of just basic trial rule breaking, go on, you know what I mean? It's technical shit, not even just bad law practice. You know what I mean? Shit that just isn't supposed to happen, any good lawyer would be like, oh, no, no, no. We have to stay within the bounds, or otherwise this case is fucked. They just were like, fuck it, dude. Fuck him, me too, let's go. And then yeah, they shot themselves in the dick. Now, Weinstein's probably fucked either way, 'cause there's so many other things. But like, it's, wouldn't surprise me. I mean, people don't realize like, there are hack attorney generals and district attorneys, political hacks all over the country. - Well, Alvin Bragg is a George Soros guy. And we've, like there, say what you want about the globalist conspiracy around that, certainly to weak in America. I think it's true. But even if you don't believe that, none of these Soros-backed DAs or judges are competent in any way. They're all retards, right? - Yeah. - Like that dumb, dumb in Seattle that's wearing the fucking Star Trek helmet. Releasing people into the wild, or all these other folks that we've run into over the years. They're all incompetent. Alvin Bragg is a fucking retard. I mean, he just doesn't. But speaking of Alvin Bragg, you remember Scott Labedo? - Yeah. - That's from New York. - Yeah, yeah. - He sent me, he DM me over the weekend, sent me a video of him. He's such a fucking lunatic. So he put Alvin Bragg, Biden, Harris, everybody's pictures on these fucking inflatable dicks and released them in front of the courthouse. And he's like. - Was that him? - Yeah. - No way. - I saw those. - You wanna bring it? Just go to Scott Labedo's Instagram, it's really funny. It's L-O-B-A-I-D-O. - He was the one that did that? - Yeah. - I saw those. - Everybody was trying to guess what they were. - I'm releasing these dicks because all these people are fucking dickheads. And it's like, it's, he's, when I think of classical New Yorkers, it's him first. He's the first guy that comes along. - He was on the show, yeah. - Let's see. Yeah. Scroll down. - Do we have the inflatable dicks? Is he's releasing them into the air? - Let me see where. Hold on, let me look at my DMs and see what the thumbnail for it is so we can find it. - There's a bunch of them. While you get to that, I'll read this quote from CNN 'cause they're live here during this. CNN is saying they gave him a free pass. Him is in Cohen. He committed Larceny. It's a higher degree of a felony of what Donald Trump is charged with. Yet they gave Michael Cohen a free pass even though he's now admitted that he stole what amounts to $60,000 total. It goes to his credibility. It also goes to the relationship with the DA. How did you even put this guy on the stand like this over and over and over again? I mean, this case is done. I don't, they're asking if Trump will take the same. You don't have to anymore. This is all done. - By the way, go to Reels and it'll be all red, the thumbnail. It might be the first one. - This one? - Yeah. - Oh, the dicks of hazard. - Yeah. Dick. Dick. Dick. - Dick. - Jack Smith. I didn't know he was the guy that did this. - Bunch of fucking dicks. - That's really fucking fun. - You don't have to play the rest. He just releases them out of the back of the wall. - Yeah, over by the court. - It's worth noting too, like, I mean, there's a lot of good public lawyers certainly. Both my parents were public lawyers, but also like at a certain point, if you're a really good lawyer in New York, you're probably gonna get a job that makes more than $120,000 a year. - Yes, 'cause there's plenty of firms there that'll take you and they're starting at $250. - Right, so it's what the prosecutor role is typically. DA and prosecutor, those are people that wanna be mayor or congressmen. - Yes. - Right, it's usually not people that are trying. Well, sometimes people switch from prosecution over to criminal defense and make a lot of money, but typically speaking, people that reach the level of DA, they're not trying to go into private practice, they're trying to become politicians. Because that's a trendically political job. - Which, by the way, serves the hack portion of things, right? They're not necessarily good at being attorneys. - Yeah, they don't wanna fucking lose cases. So they plea a lot, right? And they won't fucking prosecute crimes a lot as well. - Colin was terrible, Fannie Willis is terrible, Alvin Bragg is terrible, but all of them wanted higher political positions. - Oh, Fannie, oh, oh, oh, Fannie! But look, this case seems like it'll be an easy one. Boom, that's over. The other three are pushed until after the election. What does this do to Democrats, I guess, at this point? I mean, what's your excuse for this? - Here's, what's that old saying, if you're gonna take a shot at the king, you better not miss? - Yeah. - Like, they fucking made a huge tactical error here. - I just-- - I don't know any other way to read this. - I don't either. - Like, what the fuck were you thinking, dude? But if this is your star witness, which it was, he was the only connector between Trump and money and everything else, you never sat down with him and say, hey, so in your past, you never took any money or anything else? Like, yeah. - Well, I mean, and then taken to consideration that he's literally in prison right now for lying under oath. - Yeah, for perjury. - Yeah, so-- - I don't know, man. I don't know, it's, they were just salivating so much to get at Trump, they didn't take the time to do their jobs correctly, maybe, maybe. Or, like Bob said, maybe it was just a money suck. It could, that would not shock me at all. - It could be a money suck, but again, like-- - But then you gave them all this free media, which fucking offsets the money suck. - Go back, again, go back to the Weinstein case and what they did out of ignorance or arrogance, right, in that trial. - Or were they just rushing it through that they didn't sit with these people in time because you didn't need to start any of this trials this early. - But is this rushed, even, didn't this happen like five years ago? - Yeah. - They did, yeah, but they, like-- - You're right, this happened in 2016. So yeah, I mean, you-- - It's eight years ago, right? - You would eight fucking years? - Well, no one cared until it was obvious he was gonna run for president again. - Yeah, nobody gave a shit. So then you were in a rush against this current election cycle. - And by the way, it would be like 10 times help more helpful to anyone running against Trump to just put out there that he was fucking a prostitute while married with a pregnant wife. That might turn off more suburban women than abusing the legal system. - It might. - It might. - It might, probably not 'cause it didn't the first time or maybe it did to some degree in 2016. - Same story came out. - Yeah, I was like, the story was out. He was grabbing people by the plus, whatever, right? I think now in 2024, they look at that story about him banging a hooker and then look at their grocery bill and they're like, eh, hooker's not that bad. - And I felt the same way about Clinton where I was like, yeah, he was getting his dick sucked, but I was doing good. Financially, I was doing okay, so let him get his dick sucked. - Yeah, I'm not convinced it would be effective. I'm just saying, I just-- - Definitely a better strategy, 100% yeah. Lean into the identity politics instead of Lafayette. Lafayette doesn't work, it never works 'cause it's obvious what you're trying to do and people fucking don't like that shit. - Yeah, so the prosecution has officially rested their case, we'll see what Trump's team is gonna do after this. I don't know that they need to do anything else else. - No, he should officially rest his nutsack on Albin Bragg's forehead I think is the next step. - He'd be great if he did. - He'd be great if he had sunglasses, maybe. - A big fan of those. - All right, P, you know. - To Arabia? - Yeah. - I mean, the kingdom of South still exists. - Yeah, does it? - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - Anthony, we got some sponsors that put this shit wagon on the air. First and foremost, it's weekfirstform.com/drinkingbroze. You know, I'm gonna hit you with the microfactors, dog. Microfactors are essential. It's not just a multivitamin, it's convenient daily pack. It was six products included in it that provides you what you need on a daily basis to be healthy because let's face it, we don't eat the way we need to in order to fulfill the demands of our body without getting the vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients and it's consistently, we're gonna struggle to reach any type of health or fitness goal. 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All right, came in second and the golf this weekend was not fucking amped about it. God damn you, Xander Shoffley. God damn you. NBA playoffs, so we're down to the final four teams here. We got the Dallas Mavericks against the Timber Wolves and we got the Celtics against the Pacers. D'Anthony, who you got in this series? Definitely gonna take the T-wolves. A lot of people are. Their second favorite behind the Celtics to win it all. Yeah, I think Edwards is a leader beyond his years. Honestly, on the other side, I really don't know. I don't have that much faith in the Celtics, but it's a better composed team than the Pacers. They should win. The Celtics should win 4-2, probably. Yeah, look, that opening game is at minus 10 right now in my bookie. I mean, that's crazy. I can't remember a conference championship game with a point spread that high in my entire life. I think the Celtics are probably safe to be in. On the Western conference, I'm kind of rooting for weird-ass Kyrie, dude. I've always thought he was one of the best basketball players I've ever seen in real life. I'm curious to see if he can lead another team there. Let's face it, this is the year to do it before, everybody else starts getting beyond him 'cause he's gotta be 35 now at this point. How old is Kyrie? That, I don't know how old he is, gotta be. I'd like to see him get one more just for simply how good he is. He's a fucking weird guy, but I think it'd be fun to see if he got another one. LeBron always wanted him back in LA and they never made it work for whatever reason. If he got another one, though, that would definitely cement his legacy. Two titles on two different teams like that. - He's 32. - Okay. - So-- - He's got time. - He's got a little bit of time. - I think Luca has been playing defense. - Yeah. - If he keeps doing that, they're gonna be a tough team to be honest, but the T-Wolves are, they got some balls. - It's fun, both the series are fun. - They won three games on the road against the defending champions. - Yeah, so bet on those over at mybookie.com. Right now, let's say you don't believe in the Celtics who are minus 250 over there. Bet on those him rules. Looking at three to one odds, essentially, over there. Tons of stuff to gamble on. The casino's open now. It is real dealers, too. So if you're playing blackjack, you're going against a real dealer. Poker, roulette, everything. So it's none of this animated bullshit where it's just a guest or whatever. You're playing in a real casino there. You get to see them. I'll make comments to you, but they can't hear you scream, which is probably best. Great setup over there on mybookie.com. Just make sure to use that promo code, "Drinking Bros." is double that first deposit up to $1,000 and turn your love of sports into your new side hustle. Last but not least, we got Adam and Eve.com. On the show today, promo code, "Drinking Bros." gets you 50% off plus free shipping on one item. Is Bob back there? Is Bobbie three sticks back there? - What up, what up, what up? - What's your favorite fucking item that you got your eye on this week over at Adam? - Well, we got into it more later in the show, but there's a special garment for that certain Catholic priest in your life. - Okay. - I would check it out. I mean, anyone can use it. Anyone with a wiener can use it, you know, whatever, but you're going to want to wait till later in the show to see-- - To find out what it is. - Yes. - Okay, I like that a lot. And we are on Patreon today, so we can show that. And I'm amped to see what that is, but look, it doesn't matter what your fucking fetish is at home. Adam and Eve has the item for you. They got lube, they got pocket pussies, they got vibrators, they got fake asses. And in some instances, they just have the ass to fuck. So let's say you don't want to see the rest of the sex doll or let's say you don't even want to see the front. So it could be a girl's asshole, you're fucking or a boy's asshole, you're fucking. They have that rubber ass for you. They've also got them in different race colors, which is nice. If you want a black ass, you can fuck a black ass. If you want an Asian one or a white one, you can do that too. It's fucking endless. I always say that their website is like the Cheesecake factory menu over there. Good luck getting through it. If anybody's ever gotten through the entire website before, you fucking deserve some form of metal, okay? But make sure you're sitting down with your loved one. Man or woman, we don't judge, we don't kink shame on this show here and pick out the item that both of you will like, unless you're by yourself and you're single and you're just like, look man, I just want to fuck a rubber ass hole tonight or a pocket pussy. So I'm good on the sitting down with my lover thing. I understand that too. Perfect place to do it. Best sex toys in the entire world. Head on over to Adam and Eve.com promo code drinkingbros. Gets you 50% off any item plus free shipping. Choose wisely. Next up, back in the blue. As cities and states push to restrict the use of facial recognition technologies, some police departments have quietly found a way to keep using the controversial tools, asking for help from other law enforcement agencies that still have access. Officers here in Austin, yay. In San Francisco, two of the largest cities where police are banned from using the technology have repeatedly asked police and neighboring towns to run photos of criminal suspects through their facial recognition programs, according to a Washington Post review of police documents. In San Francisco, the workaround didn't appear to help. Since the city's ban took effect in 2019, the San Francisco Police Department has asked outside agencies to conduct at least five facial recognition searches, but no matches were returned according to a summary of those incidents submitted by the departments to the county's board of supervisors last year. San Francisco PD spokesman Evan Cernoski said these requests violated the city's ordinance and were not authorized by the departments, but the agency faced no consequences from the city. He declined to say whether any officers were disciplined because those would be personal matters there. Personnel matters. - How do you feel about this? - Just as an ordinary citizen who doesn't know anything necessarily about policing or intelligence gathering, how do you feel about using facial recognition for this, for these purposes? 'Cause it's banned in a lot more than just these two cities. - If you have to catch a horrific criminal, any means necessary, and including this one, because at this point, I've surrendered all my rights as a citizen, as far as facial recognition and all that other bullshit, I mean shit, tonight's flight. I'm gonna stare dead into the camera there at clear. It's already scanned my retina. They're gonna pull up my shit. I don't have to show ID anymore. I don't have to do anything because it's stored in a fucking system somewhere. If I murdered somebody, violently, and they were used to use this technology against me, what's my defense? - Well, I guess my response to that would be that that's the same argument people made to authorize the Patriot Act. And I mean, yeah, there are always gonna be extreme situations, but how does it help the citizenry to give the state more power? - It's a tough call on this one because you want criminals to be found. You want like the guy? - Sure. - Take that black eye in New York who punched Buscemi in the face. They got that guy. Allegedly, he was homeless. You don't think they ran that through some facial recognition thing to get that guy that quickly? Yeah, they probably did. So it depends on what you're using it for. The danger in all of this, and I know where you're going with it, is that they'll abuse these powers. Yes, yes, they will. At some point in time. But if police are using it to find people who've done violent crimes and shit like that, yeah, we're kind of at a weird place with police and funding and not enough of it. And then how do you catch the violent criminals and all that other shit? There's been a string of robberies and shit up in the dripping springs area recently. But that's not violent crime, right? A robbery or burglary? Both, right? So you don't know because none of them have thus far, knock on wood, turned violent where nobody's been murdered or killed. However, people in all these surveillance cameras in the neighborhoods in the HOA's and rings and sharing ring cameras and everything else, they know it's the same fucking people doing these crimes over and over again. But nobody's caught them in the act so no violence has occurred yet. But what happens when they do? Imagine if somebody robbing a house like dance. Boom, that guy gets-- Violence is going to occur. Exactly. But it'll be the good kind. You hope, right? Well, no, I know. But for you, but let's say it's somebody else who isn't as skilled as you and they pop out the door 'cause their car's getting broken into or whatever, they got three kids or whatever it is and then boom, you get in a Mexican standoff with somebody and they end up getting blown away. I just start throwing tacos. Same, but they're also going to want the answers really fucking quickly and they're going to use this technology. So you're stuck at this point and I don't know what the right answer is. Well, the right answer from my perspective is called the Blackstone Ratio. Have you ever heard of this? I don't know what that is. William Blackstone, he was an English jurist, so like a judge, basically, back in the 19th century. And he coined the phrase, I think it's often attributed to Ben Franklin. With the coined the phrase, it's better than 10 guilty persons escape than one innocent sufferer, right? And it's kind of the foundation of Western jurisprudence, the presumption of innocence. And the idea of having at least a preponderance of evidence to indict and using the idea of a reasonable person as a standard, all these things kind of pop forth from this stuff. And it's like, you can't, I understand that being, look, being a cop is tougher now than it's ever been. I don't know why we thought, and we didn't think this, obviously, but I don't know why anybody thought that fucking taking resources away was going to be helpful. But I don't think the problem that people have with police is about what resources they're using or not. The resources they need is to be better trained. They should be constitutional experts. If you're going to enforce the law, you should know every goddamn thing about it. Not a cursory knowledge in post B. You should have at minimum an associate's degree in constitutional law, right? You should deeply understand this stuff. And the same, by the way, is true for people that run for politics. A standard for running for Congress, for the House at 30, or a 25, rather, in the Senate at 30, shouldn't just be the age. It should be you have to fucking understand the cut. You have to take a test or something to qualify to run for office. You have to understand the Constitution. I don't give a fuck if that excludes some people. That's the job, right? So that's a part of it, is that, yeah, we took resources away, or we allowed resources to be taken away. And these guys and women need to be better trained and better educated. There's no question about that. And that would help solve a lot of these problems. What I won't do is give them militaristic equipment or fucking tap them into the fucking nationwide surveillance that's going on, and say that that's an okay thing to do. I don't think so, right? Maybe it makes the job easier, and maybe it makes policing safer. But that's not the job to be easier and safer. The job is to support and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic, right? The Constitution is more important than your life as a cop. It was more important than my life as a soldier, right? That's how, no fucking debate, the end. - But I look at it from it happening to me. Like, taking my car got stolen out of my driveway. And we chatted about this story when it happened live on air. There was a couple of us who were like, hey man, these cars are getting broken into. We should stay in the back of our cars. And if the fucking handle gets popped, we blow these guys away. I called you. And you said, hey dude, you cannot do that. That is against the law. You will be charged with fucking murder. I don't agree with that, man. You're trying to break into my fucking personal property. I should be able to blow the guy away. If I'm not, if you're telling me that I cannot do this, then the very least, I should be able to turn in my ring camera, use the fucking facial recognition, get them to feel safe for it, night, if I can't do it. Waiting for somebody to enter my fucking house just to kill them is crazy to me. Like, no, then give me one or the other. As a citizen, I want the option of one or the other. So that's why I think this is fucking tough because if I can't wait in my fucking car and somebody's gonna steal it, what do I do? What's the option there? - That's a good question. I mean, there's always gonna be a balance between the letter and execution of the law, right? 'Cause we make a lot of determinations based on a reasonable person. So the law might say something, but a reasonable person wouldn't have known that. So they acted in good faith. Batch it, went down, but they acted in good faith. And that's the standard use to acquit people from what would otherwise be a crime all the time. I don't know what the answer to that is, to be honest. But I do think we need to answer, I think a more important question that we need to answer is, who are we sending to become police and how well are we training them? That's the real, those are the real two issues. All this other stuff about equipment and access to technology and stuff. - I think it's kind of a canard, right? Like if we have good people that care about and understand the constitution and those jobs that are highly trained to deal with the fucking shit that happens on the job, and look, it's not their fault that fucking cities refuse to spend money on it. It's not the individual cops fault. Like a lot of people that we know go do more, right? They go fucking do jiu-jitsu on their free time, they shoot on their free time, right? And stuff like that. - But that's crazy. That's like a teacher having to know. - I agree that and it shouldn't be free time. Pay them to do it. - Yeah, it should be fucking-- - Pay them for all of it. - 100% it should be paid. Like it's insane that that's not a fucking standard. If we're gonna have a fucking professional police force, and we're not gonna, like, what other professional job do you have to do the professional stuff on your free time? That doesn't exist, except for a teacher. I mean, it's like, I think the average primary school teacher spends something like six to $700 of their own money each year on supplies for the kids. - They do, and so we all-- - Which is like 10% of their goddamn salary. - Yeah, yeah, which is why, as parents, we all get together every year and pay for it. So I don't know if, Bob, if you do it, but we do it for our kids. - Yeah, no, they-- - We all parents, we pay for whatever the teacher's overflow is. - She earned that $10 Starbucks gift card. I'll go ahead and get the fuck out of here. - But with this, there isn't enough police officers there. So therefore, a lot of these crimes, they just can't get to. They'll never get to. And if I, as the citizen, don't have the option to blow somebody away in my own fucking car, then yeah, man, if you're gonna tell me that I can use the ring camera for facial recognition to get the guys for this other shit, there's gotta be a happy medium here, because right now, we simply don't have enough police officers out there. What was the stat? How many police officers are actually in America? - 750,000 sworn officers. - For 330 million people? I think it's way too low. - I think it's, well, it's 350 million, not including illegals, but I think it comes out to like 470 people per cop. - Which is, I think not, for as much as, you know, a lot of the left likes to hate on, like being over police and stuff like that. I think that's like a really shitty ratio. - It is? - It's not great. - Yeah. - It's not great. And I was talking to Pitt Dexter Pitts. He's a cop, Louisville, about this yesterday. - Did you guys come up with a shuffler? - No, no, I didn't. But those charges are getting dropped, obviously. But anyways, we were talking about the air force shooting and then some other stuff as well. And it's like, you put somebody in a fucked up situation they're not ready for and bad things are gonna happen. And then you introduce guns into that, bad things are gonna get worse. That's just the way it is, right? And that's not an anti-gun argument. It's a pro-training argument. We have to start rebuilding our police departments across the country, not just funding them, but finding the right people for those jobs and making it such that it benefits them to do that. Otherwise, we're fucked, right? It's just gonna become lawless and there's gonna be, there'll be this middle ground, which I think we're in right now, where more people are taking action into their own hands and going to fucking prison for it, like that kid Daniel Penny up in New York. - Daniel Penny, it was one here. Same thing, Daniel Perry, but-- - No, no, no, Penny in New York, Perry. - Perry was here. - He just got fucking commuted. - He did, but he's still had to go to jail for that. - For two years, yeah. - For two years and Daniel Penny is still awaiting trial in New York. - He should probably be in jail. - Which one? - Perry. - Why? - Why? - Um. - Remember all the pedophile shit? - Oh, well, that's the different stuff, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's not a good dude. - But in that particular case, yeah. - Daniel Penny seems like a great guy. As far as I know, Perry is-- - But if you're just going by case law, is the guy a shitty person, yeah. - No, not shitty person. He's a criminal and he belongs in prison, just not for the shit. - Not for the shit he was in prison for, but-- - Hopefully somebody will fucking take up those charges at some point and maybe just dump his body in the fucking rainy street, river or whatever, but yeah, this is, like I like this debate, 'cause I think it's important. I think the farther down the road, the further down the road you get in this debate, it shows not just how complicated the situation is, but it explains exactly why people respect police, the people that still do, right? It's 'cause it fucking sucks and it's like being in the Marine Corps, it's a shitty job and you get the worst possible equipment. Now luckily they get good training, but they always get the hand me down stuff. That's kind of-- - The pay's not great. - The pay sucks, the danger level's high and we've reached the point again now in a American society where people don't give a fuck anymore about it, it's like, oh fuck them, they're at me. It's like, all right, cool man, well, let's do more thinking about the people that protect us, certainly, you can be critical of police and the way they're doing their jobs without being a fucking idiot about it, right? In the same way, I'm super critical of public teachers, I think they're terrible at their job, frankly, and I think the evidence is pretty goddamn clear on that. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't have teachers. The fuck, man, we rebuild the institution in a way that makes sense. John Rockefeller and Henry Ford set up American education to produce compliant fucking workers. They did that on purpose. Well, we could do something new on purpose, can't we? - But I'll go back to, as far as the facial recognition is concerned, the drone shit we were, or could potentially use overseas to isolate criminals and then fucking blow their faces off, right? - Sure. - Same goes here, if you're not doing any bad shit, what do you fucking care? - That's the same argument people make about warrantless wiretapping, fuck that shit. That can't be the standard, ever. - But if you're criminals in the police department, it doesn't matter. - It do, but the law applies to everybody, it has to apply to everybody equally, which means you have to treat everybody, even if you know they're guilty, as if they're innocent until you have absolute proof and you can't violate their constitutional rights to get their proof. The end. - But if they're not supplying proper money to fund these police departments and everything else, what's the other option? - Also, Russ, you're not doing bad shit yet, as defined yet. - So someone can have access to all your shit and then later say, oh, he's doing stuff that wasn't considered bad before, but I do consider bad now. - Right. - For example, the perfect, hilarious but wrong example of this is a bunch of the Columbia protesters are getting fucked by the school because they violated all their safe space speech laws, yelling mean shit at Jewish kids or whatever, that those same types of people wanted set up when they were the ones that thought they were the victims. - Yeah, that is the 360 degree firing squad in action right there, maybe a bit of a horseshoe as well. Yeah, it's like, you can't, just because the job is tough and difficult doesn't mean you can break the rules. - But if it exists in other cities, right? Which it does, taking a photo over to another city and saying, hey man, can you help me out with this one? - I mean, it's a violation of your fourth amendment rights. If a cop came in here and said, hey Dan, would you mind looking in Ross's back for me and see if there's a gun in there? He and I have both now violated your fourth amendment rights because an agent of the state has asked me to do something on his behalf and it's the same situation here. Like these people are getting it fired probably for doing this, and they should, to be honest, right? Look, I didn't look at sucks. I know that it sucks, but you can't fucking do that shit. Fight the system all you want, try to change it all you want, but don't fucking, and look, sometimes maybe there are exit circumstances where you gotta do shit that you wouldn't normally do. Who am I to say? But there are gonna be consequences for it in the same way that fucking, you go down to protest somewhere, you might go to jail for it, right? That's just, those are the consequences of your actions. - I'm looking at it now, so in Austin, it looks like they went to Leander right up the road there to get the facial recognition run there. That makes sense. Leander police is to decline the comments. - They're not going to because it's illegal right now. - And this acceptance of the consequences of what's going on at Satyagraha, I've talked about it before. It's the old school Buddhist principle that underlies the idea of passive resistance. It means that I'm gonna do what I think is right, and I'm gonna accept the consequences no matter what they are. And if you're on board with that, that's fine, right? But just realize there are going to be consequences. You can't fucking violate people's constitutional rights and get away with it. - I guess, but why can't I fucking murder somebody who's trying to steal my car and steal my car? - Well, that's a what about. It's a completely different situation. - I get it, but-- - I think you should be able to, anybody that comes onto your property, they get one chance to leave and you can shoot them. That's my take. - Yes, same. - Like, hey, get off my fucking property now. You don't, boom. - But there's shit on both sides that it's just, hey man, if you can solve a violent criminal or a violent crime, I guess, and you need to go down to Leander, you need to hop on down the bunny trail to do it, I don't fucking care, to be honest with you. - I care about the, whoever snitched on these guys is what I really care about. - Well, it's the Washington Post, but who, like, actually in circumstances only applies if there's a direct threat to life and limb, like right now. That's the only time that ever applies. And to be honest, I'm not sure, like, how comfortable I would be with that as as a, an official protocol. I mean, I've done things that I probably shouldn't have in severe situations, ball deployed. We're not gonna get into those things 'cause there's no statute of limitations, but, like, I get it, but I, like, doing that stuff, you know there are consequences as well, right? - Yeah, that's the end of it. So it's a difficult conversation to have. Nobody wants to sound like they're hating on cops or whatever the fuck, but it's the cops job to fully and deeply understand the constitution and apply it, right, to everything they do. That is your mission statement is to support and defend the constitution of the United States who are married against all enemies foreign and domestic. That is the first, like, it isn't the citizenry, it's the police officer and the sheriff and deputies as well who are the first line of defense against unconstitutional bullshit because they're the ones enforcing the law. So they have to take that mantle up. It's just the way it is. Yeah, and it sucks, life sucks sometimes. - I would like to know what the crimes are in this one, and I'd like to know who the fucking snitch was. Jesus Christ, man. Next up, low T is linked to early death. It has long been thought that testosterone shortens men's lives, studies in neutered animals and Korean eunuchs seem to confirm this. However, a new study published by the internal medicine, what the fuck is that, annals? It's not annals. - Annals, like the annals of history. - Okay. Draws these findings into question. In this study led by a team at the University of Western Australia, great rugby school, kidding. Never heard of it. The researchers combined the results of 11 high quality studies known as meta-analysis, investigating the effect of testosterone levels on lifespan. In this study led by a team at the University of Western Australia, the researchers' studies followed men for at least five years and found that participants with the lowest testosterone levels were more likely to die. Death in this study was from any cause, but digging deeper into the analysis reveals that this is mostly due to heart disease, still leading the cause of death and men globally. What is interesting is that the same process underlying heart disease might also contribute to erectile dysfunction, the ability to get and keep interaction long enough and firm enough for sex. - Yeah, that's what Dr. Mike Simpson, former Special Forces operator we've had on the show before, talks about all the time. It's like, regardless of how you treat your body health-wise, as a man, understand that if you're not doing the right things, one of the first symptoms you're gonna have is dick don't work. - Yeah. - Right, so that should be a pretty decent motivator. You want your dick to work. - Oh hell yeah, I've been poisoned in my body nonstop for 20 years and I gotta pound off like at least once a day, do you? - Yeah, just to fill the cobweb out, yeah. It's like Spider-Man, it gets gunked up in there if you don't fire a web or two from time to time. Yeah, erectile dysfunction often occurs much earlier than symptoms of other symptoms of heart disease and can act as an early warning sign of existing or future heart problems. Low T, by the way, is super common. I was talking to Dr. Frank about this, who everybody knows, 50% of men over 30 and 70% of men over 40 have testosterone levels under 300. - Yeah. - Which is like a 60 year old man. - Yep. - And I've said this a million times before, but it's dropped about 40% in the last generation. The average 21 year old today has the same level testosterone as a 65 year old in 2000. Like this is a big fucking problem that has to be solved. And it's-- - It's happening in women too. - It's happening in women as well. Their hormones are all fucked up as well. Probably more so because of birth control, which is poison, you shouldn't take that shit. Just get one of those little watches and track your fucking menstrual cycle. You can only get pregnant six days, a month for fuck's sake. Like-- - Yeah, but you don't know when the liquor's going to talk, like Morgan Wallen says. - Well, I mean, exercise is a little bit of self control, but we-- - No, that's what anal sex is for. - Yeah, anal sex is for you. - Anal sex is for you. - Anal sex is for you. - I'm just kidding. Anal sex is when you give your history teacher a blowjob. - Sure is. - Sure is that. - Okay. - Like that, yeah. The other part of that birth control thing is for women, and it's like a very, very large study found this recently. So you know, women initiate 70% of divorces, right? - I didn't know that actually. - So a very large amount of those are postpartum women, or women who have decided to go off birth control to have children with their partner. So they meet a dude while they're on birth control and their hormones are all jacked up. And typically they will go for a lesser male. That is to say a pussy, a cuck, a low tea, little bitch, right? And then they come off of the pill and their hormones regulate and they're like, oh, this guy's a, I gotta get out of here. I'm not having kids with this hump. Or they have the kid and then the postpartum when their hormones start to repair themselves, they're like, oh man, this dude's not protecting me from anything. And they get divorced. It's like super common now. So yeah, it definitely affects women as well. It's something that everybody not only needs to look into, but it's fucking easy. Right? Maybe it wasn't 20 years ago. It definitely wasn't 20 years ago. It wasn't 15 years ago when I got out of the army, or 14 years ago, however long that was. - It's a simple set of labs. - But now it's like a couple hundred bucks a month. Maybe, if you need more than one thing. - 50 bucks a week, yeah. - Yeah. - Hit leg day. - Hit leg day. - That's a natural tea buster. - I mean, if your body's operating correctly, that is true, yes. But there's all kinds of different supplements and stuff that work well for this. I would recommend starting with the supplement stuff and see if that fixes it. There's some pretty good ones out there. - Bioproaching tech. - That's one of them, yeah, yeah. - Also com, promo code drinking bros $30 on. - I just don't know if I buy this hypothesis 'cause when my wife got up birth control was when she got that loser bowl I was talking about the other day and it's just like, I don't know, it's kind of an obstacle. - She called it a stunt cock. - Yeah. - It's just like, yeah, like he can't protect her or help her at all. - There's a total loser. - There's a supplement you can buy it on Amazon. Pretty cheap, it's fedosia, F-A-D-O-G-I-A, and it works. - But if you just get your levels checked, I mean, you know what they are, if they're under 400, you're fucked. - If they're under 600 and you're a man that's not 60 years old, you need to get your shit fixed. - Yeah, and if they're under 400, you are fucked. - You are truly fucked. I mean, like from-- - Insurance will pick it up after that. That's how serious it is. - At some point it will, yeah. - 400 is the number that insurance will kick in and be like, hey dude, we'll pay for shit. - But even if it's like four to 600, you need to get it higher than that. - Yeah. - For most people, it's not everybody's gonna need it to be 800, 900, anything like that. It just depends on the person, but yeah. This is something that is a big problem. It's ubiquitous, almost every man in the country is facing this shit right now and you need to get your fucking shit checked. - Yeah, the end, simple. Last but not least here, Harrison Butker, you wanted to talk about him today in his commencement speech here and the blowback that has happened there. - Well, first I heard you guys had talked, somebody mentioned to me that you talked about it on RPR. I want to know what you guys thought the two of you cucks first before I get involved. - Were cucks? - About the commencement speech. - I was pointing at Bob and Ross, but yeah, you can cuck it up too if you want. - I'll cuck it up. - Sure, so my thoughts on his commencement speech and Bob, if you want to find that clip of his highlights, you can do it. First and foremost, having graduated college, I'm sure you guys had a commencement speakers while at your college. - I didn't go to any of my graduates. - Oh, you didn't go to them? - It's a fucking waste of time. - Okay, so I did. - Oh, you gave me a little piece of paper. I don't think so, boy. - It was a big deal for me. I was doing drugs. - It was a big deal for me, but while I was sitting there and watching this and everything else, like I wasn't amped about my commencement speaker. If you are going to do it, at least make it seem hopeful for a whole life. - But who was your commencement speaker? - It was a fucking dude from Africa who had traveled by duct tape to a Hawaiian punch raft and made it to the world. And it was talking about his amazing struggle and all this other shit. And I was just like, bro, you shouldn't have been here anyway. - Yeah. - I checked out of it mentally, so did everybody else. You want some hope and positivity there. You had Seinfeld down. It's what was it, UNC or Duke or whatever. And then people were walking out of that. No, that's who you're hoping for, something like that. This was very doom and gloom out of Harrison Butker. And it seemed to be more about him rather than the hope of graduating college and going out into the world. I think some of the ideas that he was talking about were just worded horrifically. - Like what? - Him talking about, you can actually play the clip and I can tell you which one's here. - All right, I think this is the correct highlight reel. - It is only in the past few years that I have grown encouraged to speak more boldly and directly because as I mentioned earlier, I have leaned into my vocation as a husband and father and as a man. To the gentleman here today, part of what plagues our society is this lie that has been told to you that men are not necessary in the home or in our communities. As men, we set the tone of the culture. And when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction and chaos set in. This absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see all around the nation. Other countries do not have nearly the same absentee father rates as we find here in the U.S. And a correlation could be made in their drastically lower violence rates as well. Be unapologetic in your masculinity. Fighting against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things. Never settle for what is easy. You might have a talent that you don't necessarily enjoy, but if it glorifies God, maybe you should lean into that over something that you might think suits you better. I speak from experience as an introvert who now finds myself as an amateur public speaker and an entrepreneur. Something I never thought I'd be when I received my-- - That's something else that might be this one. - Bob, you ruined it on your own dude. - You're ruined it on your own. - That has been told to you. - So like, what he's saying here though, is correct. And it would have been fine if you would have ended it. - Actually, he straight up said, don't follow your dreams. - Well, and that's, I believe that too. - You are following your dreams, you're like dream eight. - I'm not, I'm not following my dreams. If I was following my dreams, Bob, I'd be in the NFL. - At what point did he say, don't follow your dreams? - He said, he said, literally do something you don't like instead of being talented if it means, or instead of something you're talented at or like, if it means being leaning into your vocation as whatever the fuck. - What he's saying is, and certainly an articulate, I agree with that part, but what he's saying is, be useful. - Yeah, yeah, right, which is something that you should be. There's not, that's not an objectionable statement anyway. - It is objectionable to me if you're, if he's saying, be useful and uncreative, because you can creatively find a way to be both useful and utilize your talent. - That would have been a, it would have been a better way to say it, and even, 'cause this is a Catholic thing, right? You had Benedictine, so it's like, find a way to use your talent to glorify God, would be the appropriate way to say that, right? - Which is the type of thing I heard through all years ago. - Certainly, yeah, that's common throughout all philosophies. - Yeah. - Sure, people got particularly upset about the things he said about women. - You were the women? - Correct. - I'll try to find that real quick. I'll try to find that. I have the whole speech text. - I'll pick the one clip that made it look great. - Dude, it got like scrubbed from a... - I mean, I've got, the National Catholic Register has the entire... - That's what I'm on right now. - We just can't play the entire speech. - No, no, but it's got the problem. - For transcript as well. - But I think, going back to what he said about women, there is women in the graduating class, and he was just like, "Hey, dude, I know you guys just "spent all this money on four years of college, "but you're best being served as a wife and a mom, "and you should definitely not do anything with that." - He didn't say anything about them, not doing anything. - He talked about it with his wife. He said, "My wife didn't find the joy in her life, "until she ended up being a wife and..." - That's right. - And I don't know that that's true. - It's absolutely true. - That is a biological fact. What are you talking about? - Quite what the... I mean, I read a lot of different things on this, and I think the Catholic Church's specific position is that it might be your highest calling, but that will give more meaning to all your other facets of life too, whether you keep a career or not, keep a career or whatever. - But what he said was that a lot of you here, women are gonna go on to at least successful careers, and then he launched into sing, but the true joy in life of blah, blah, blah is gonna be motherhood for you, probably, right? That is a biological fact for any well-adjusted, hormonally balanced woman. That's a fuckin' fact. - Tell that's the case the answer to that. - And the same way I have, right? - She didn't enjoy it. - We may need to get her testosterone checked. - I mean, she didn't enjoy it, dude. - But it is a fact that all the pleasure centers in your brain, the things that cause you joy and mitigate suffering are biologically programmed to activate when you do the things you're biologically programmed to do. This old trope about the dad who didn't want the dog, and now he's best friends with the fuckin' puppy. Of course he is, because that's what dads are. That they're biologically programmed to look at this frail, cute little thing and be like, "I'm gonna protect this thing with my goddamn life." And that makes me feel joy, right? That's how, this isn't like a judgment, and I don't remember him ever saying to anybody, "Don't go fuckin', don't work, just go home and do stuff." But what he did say was, "Right, my opinion." And it's not my opinion, it's a biological fact that the average, well-adjusted woman is gonna get much more joy in her life from being a mom and a homemaker and whatever being nurturing or whatever it is, than she will from some fuckin' career. Like, and this is the big lie that's been told to women, two of them actually, you've got plenty of time, you don't need to start having kids yet, that's a fuckin' lie, there's a taking time bomb. Your uterus is a taking time bomb, it literally is. And the second one is, you don't, you can go be independent, you don't need any man in your life to be happy. It's not true, we're built to be together, god damn it, like everything in nature is binary like that. - That is not entirely true on what the Catholic Church teaches. - Well, I'm not talking about what the Catholic Church teaches. - But that's where he's going. - But that's where he's going. - Certainly, yeah. - Because I remember, I will actually never forget this, I think I was in like first grade, the first time I heard this, and the priest was in just talking to us, in our classroom talking to us about whatever, and he was like, you know, he's like most people, like literally, it was almost exactly what he said. But he was like, most people will be called to be married, like that'll be God's purpose in your life. Some people are called to the priesthood, or being none, or whatever. He's like, and some people are called to the single life. And I remember even as a first grader, being like, oh god, that sucks. But they do say like straight up, like you might not be called to be married. - Paul says that in the Bible, that's why they are repeating it. - Yeah. - So yeah, that's in Ephesians, I think. At any rate, that's not really the point being made there, though, right? That's not the point he's making. Like he's not talking to the minority. He said, some of you will go on and do this and this and this, but for the majority of you, it's gonna be this way. And that is an absolute fucking fact. And all the research we have on nurturing women, on pair bonding, and particularly on children, and how they develop, particularly between the ages of three and seven years old, they need mom at home, right? They need as much contact with mom as possible to teach them how to be fucking functioning human beings. That is the most important time in their fucking lives. You can say it's not true, blah, blah, blah. You could do both, and maybe some people can't, but for the vast majority of people, and for the vast majority of kids, they need that shit. And we're not giving it to them, and look at the fucking outcome. Are we really arguing with the goddamn results? Look at kids these days. The one group of people who have been historically resilient against depression and suicide were fucking young women, and now they are the fastest growing contingent of suicide. 200% increase from 1999 to 2016, right? It's a fucking fact. And I just don't understand why people are so goddamn upset about what he's saying. He's not telling anybody that anything that's out of pocket there is saying for most of you, this is going to be true. That's how normal versus weird works. It isn't about good or bad. It's because Bob played the wrong clip today, and that's what it is. It's not about one thing is good, and one thing is bad. He didn't say you're bad if you want to go fucking work. That's not true, and he didn't say that. What he said was, it's better. Bob, you said to yourself up for this today, you played the wrong clip. I don't know, he called it like diabolical lie. He made it down. The diabolical lie, he's, this was an articulate, which shouldn't be because he was a speech. He wrote off a teleprompter, right? You should have articulated it. Certainly that is true. And I think the framework of everything he was saying was true. It was the way he said it. And again, Bob picked the worst clip. No, that's fine. Everybody that's watching this knows what he said. Everybody's seeing the videos. They know exactly what he said. You can look up the transcript right now. Nothing he said was objectionable. I'll give you two things. One thing that was objectionable, and one thing I agree with 100%. And they're right back to back, ironically. First part, objectionable. I never envisioned myself nor wanted to have this sort of platform, but God has given it to me. And so I have no other choice but to embrace it and preach more hard truths about accepting your lane and staying in it. Okay, that part is not, we're not talking about social issues there. That's just him being an ego-centered person. He's an NFL kicker. Right. That part's dumb. I'm not talking, yeah, that's stupid. But yeah, like you cannot literally tell people to stay in their lane and then you leap all the way out of yours. Wait, I'm sorry, how did he leap out of his lane? Don't give me social advice if you're an NFL kicker. You've not earned in any way to preach about how to live your life. If you're only talent and the only reason you're there is 'cause you kick a football heart. Well, I mean, you're kind of diminishing his experience as a husband and father, right? Like that's- Sort of, but then why isn't a normal husband and father invited to go and give a commencement speech? Because he's famous and people are gonna watch when he talks. And honestly, if a normal father was speaking to me this way on the playground about how to be a father, I would tell him to go fuck himself. Okay, that's fair. Now, secondly- But that's not a commentary on the rightness or wrongness of what he's saying, is it? It's not, I think he's outside of his lane, especially when he's taught, he talked about a lot of other things too, like, and he could be right about it. Oh, there was a million goddamn thing. I mean, he went through everything. Politicians are doing wrong than that. I think he meant transing kids, and that's well within all of our purview to say no to that, is it not? It's not his lane. It is all of our lane to stop people from cutting kids' dicks off. It is, actually no, he's talking about the COVID lockdowns but he's talking about the COVID lockdowns. That's too broad, y'all are too. Constitutionality is all within our purview as well, is it not? Bob, you set yourself up. You played the wrong clip today, dude, and that's what got you. I don't wanna hear- You played the other one, you would've won today. I don't wanna hear it. To your point, I'll say this. We do, we will make room for an excuses for people to make political commentary that we agree with, where if somebody was on the other side, we'd be like, we'll shut up and dribble. 'Cause there's a lot of people out there applauding this dude like he did something noble and I guess it is to some degree. He's talking, by the way, know your audience, talking to a bunch of Catholics, but also you're famous so everybody's hearing this. That was a huge mistake on his part as well, thinking he was only talking to Catholic graduates of this school. That was a huge mistake. So yeah, Bob, I'll agree with you on that, for sure. - And I'll give you the part I agree with. As members of the church founded by Jesus Christ, that's right, we're the church founded by Jesus Christ. - Oh boy. - Fuck Protestants. - There you go. - Oh boy. - Technically, the church existed for a while before Catholicism, did it not? - I don't think it did. Not just Bob, dude. - It just got defined as Catholicism later as a separate situation. - Right, so you guys rewrote histories. - Wait, will you go back to Peter, baby? - Sounds right. - Peter's the rock. - It's the rock to which we built. - Yeah, it's funny how he never mentioned that. Ever. - Who, Jesus? - Peter, motherfucker. - He didn't need to, we knew. - Somebody who's the murderer. - Justin Martyr in the second century, Flavus Josephus in the first century, none of them mentioned Catholicism or Peter being a pope or Peter being the leader of the church. - Wasn't it called Catholicism the whole time kind of, but it was just like something Catholicism, 'cause it just means universal. It was like the universal church. - That's what I meant, yeah. - You gotta have something catchy though to get money. - Yeah, I mean, look, the branding's great. And you guys have much fancier clothing than Protestants do. - And Jesus being white really plays in and who has the money. - I also think it might be coming to an end for you assholes because now your fucking limp dick cuck pope is out there talking about accepting everybody. - He was on 60 minutes. - It's like, nah dude, no, bring back the acquisitions. What are you talking about? - He's gonna end the wars. - He did say, look, like gay people are all God's children. Obviously, we'll see him in hell, but-- - That is my favorite thing the pope does is he's like, gay, gay people, they're going to hell, but you should be nice to them. - Yeah, they're God's children. - They're like, no, not my pope. - Yeah, it's pretty funny. I mean, he went off on American Catholics. - Oh, whoa, the pope did? - Yeah, 'cause we're being, I just hate these fucking tri-heart dudes like him and Matt Walsh that are just like, it's just not-- - The pope? - Are you saying that the pope is a tri-heart? - No, Harrison Bucker in a Matt Walsh. - Okay, yeah, okay. - The best part about-- - That'd be funny to call the pope a tri-heart. - Well, it did seem like a tri-heart by saying, you know, the gays are all God's children, but they're gonna-- - It takes up on the fucker 45 minutes to get dressed in his gay ass clothes, so he's definitely a tri-heart. - It's just one zip and a fucking hell. - Oh, no, dude, he's pretty easy. - There's a lot of stuff, and-- - There's gotta be Victorian level of fucking clothing underneath that shit. - Really? - It's an old Catholic, it's an old Vatican law that has to be a new set of 12 boys dressing you every day, and so they never know how to do it. - They're running out of boys, you know? - Yeah, it just takes forever. - Put on some Sean Johns underneath that thing, fucking pop the hat on and go, dude. - Dude, if he just came out in a fucking tracksuit one day, like just to, and look, make it fancy and he's from Argentina, right? So make it fancy and over the top, like a Louis Vuitton classic style, like the brown on brown, like brown on dark brown, just come out in a fucking tracksuit and he's got a gold chain, but no fucking bling on it. Just the chain. - Just the chain. - I think it would be cool. - I like it so-- - I might convert if he does that. - I watched that interview last night. The thing that always amazes me is how these people are just so fucking happy to meet the Pope. - Everybody in the chat thinks he's naked under there. - That's where I assume. - I know, there's no way he's-- - I'm with you guys. - The Pope can't, well, technically, I guess, but the Pope can't fucking risk having his dong out. - I guess if it moved, that would be-- - 'Cause that's how we know a big money of Christ, right? - Yeah, if it moved, then you'd be like, "Oh shit, Bonnie Christ." - He's crossing people in the crowd and all of a sudden you see his hog flopping around. - Yeah. - 'Cause he took too much bioprotein plus and now he's all chubbed up. - We don't know if he's bricked up down there. - Are we going to hell for this or how does that work? Can I-- - No! - I can't blaspheme the Pope. - Jesus is white with blue eyes. - Well, yeah, you're there anyway. I don't believe in anything. So, I guess I'm going-- - Jesus is white with blue eyes and blonde hair, so yeah. - Yeah, audio's on it. - Is it? I was coming into the chat here. - I mean, if Harrison Bucker grows out the hair, that's Christ, basically. - Mike on the chat is saying, how does he get to the boys quickly if he's not naked under there? - That's a good point, I agree. 'Cause you don't have, like, there's a limited amount of time. You gotta get it out. And I think maybe he's gotta strap down to his leg, then. I'll agree to that. But he can't be free-balling and having it flop around in a robe. There's no way. - I think it's-- - He's gotta-- - She's got a tiny-- - It's sheath underwear. - That would work. - You could get to it pretty quickly. They're cooling in there. - It's sheathunderwear.com/pope. - Pope. - A pope. - And you get 90% off, I think. - Promo code Catholic gets you 20% off on those boxers. - Well, look, I mean, I can give you one of the other-- - Bob, you're definitely going to hell. - It's, I think-- - 'Cause you're Catholic, and now you're doing this. - Oh, look at that. - Now, this is probably-- - John, we could show this, right? - Yes, this is-- - Are they on the-- - Is Adam and Eve on the show today? - Yes, Adam and Eve is on the show today. This is their pull tab thong in Vatican Red. (laughing) - Oh, that's worth it. That's worth the money on Patreon for this. - Pull tab thong. If I wasn't staring at it, I never would've known this as a thing in this life. - In Vatican Red. - My God, dude. Yeah, but she was happy as shit. I forget her name last night talking to the Pope, who's like, "Oh, my God." Is he just saying about his hatred for gay people? You're like, "Okay." Cool, yeah, fuck it. - Is that what he said he hates gay people? - He just hates them. He said they're all guys' children, but they're going to hell, so. That's kind of a-- - Can't take a middle ground like that. - Meh, yeah. - You got to really commit one way or the other. - He doesn't want to commit. That's his fucking problem, man. Get a Jude Law young sexy pope who's boning well. - Well, his problem is he loves bad bitches, right? - Yeah, and that's his fucking problem. So I don't know if either one of those is going to work. - That's fine. - I don't either. - I don't either. - By the way, this pull tap thong also comes in frock black. - Oh, black black, those abouts a frock we salute you. - And it's got a front piece that's white, so it looks like a fucking little, whatever your gay little thing is. - That's great. - Man, if the pope was openly able to be with women, can you imagine the kind of ass he would pull? - Oh, boy. - The pope, everybody would want to suck the pope's dick. - Yeah, just to get that pope. - That seems like a lost fucking opportunity. - Who says it's not going down on my senses? - But it would be nice. It would be like following the royals or something. - Yeah. - Playboy pope. - Yep. - I'm leaving. - Yeah, go ahead. It's time for a drinking bro the week, who's back there? Who wants to come up and give drinking bro the week? People are partying back there today. Come on up. Are you not allowed, he said? - Yeah, we're good. - Holy shit, he said, yeah, we're good, dude. Do the other guy take off too? Or can he not be on camera? - He's gone. - Oh man, we go off in a 15 minute rant about the pope and gay is going to hell and you're like, bro, I can't come up here. I can't get up here. That's fine. Go to drinkabros.com here real quick. Bob, pull that up on screen. That's where you can submit drinking bro the week and it'll be emailed to us live on air. Would we prefer it if you just came up here? Yes, we would. But you can't, so I understand it there. But yeah, you can click on the submission form, go through it, go through the bro box. It is too late for the Red Lobster Contest, by the way. But get the bro box and all that other stuff. And then while you're there, after you've bought thousands of dollars of merchandise and apparel, click on your submission for drinking bro the week and it'll come directly to us. This one just came in, is from Mark Duncan, from Indiana, day one, homey. Before pegging explained, Roggle Hamilton. He's giving it to Roggle, we know Roggle, dude. I like Roggle. Roggle Hamilton, living, I know Roggle's living. If Roggle dies, fuck, we'll have a whole day for Roggle. We'll shut the show down. Yeah, for at least a week. Let's see, he's our black hunting buddy, fireman, mostly gay, but not completely, it says. Mechanic, teacher, and drinking bro through and through. Late to everything as expected, but we still love him. Obviously he's black. Who, Roggle? Yeah, we know what he looks like. He's been on the goddamn show. But his buddy, Mark Duncan, who nominated him, is saying, he's really saying, hey Rolly, if he's late to everything. Certainly, do you, Bob, maybe you can answer this 'cause you hate black people, no, I'm just kidding. But you could probably comment on this. Do you have a black friend if you're not constantly talking about having a black friend? No. You know what I mean? No. Like do you, if you're not using that as an opportunity to say, well, as someone who has a black friend. Yeah. I say, the N-word, hard, hard. Hard R. Timmy. Timmy, all the time. Timmy trippin. We'll do one more today. This one is just submitted right now by John from Oregon, another day one home. Wait, Came Insider in the fucking, which is a great name, by the way. And the chat says, that's a lot of accolades for a black. Sure is. And then he says, late fireman seems bad. Two various suit observations in a row. (laughing) Oh fuck. All right, John from Oregon, day one, homey. He's nominating the space program of India. He says, they're all living. Yeah, we know. We were doing the story. What happened? Space program in India. I think they landed on the moon, didn't they, Bob? You've not with people. No, but they still landed something there, which is pretty fucking crazy. Yeah, great. They threw something at the moon. We'll find out what he says here. He says, I want to give Drink and Bro the Week to India's space program. Anytime I'm down and need a smile or a laugh, I think about how stinky those rockets must have been. That always brightens my day. Can you imagine being on the ISS with a bunch of Indian dudes? No, but it's just like they've got like curry paste and a little tube and they just keep like that little toothpaste tube and it's like, dude, you got to fucking eat something else. Some tell you. Like, don't be the asshole that warms up fish at the office. I swear to God, man. Like, that's a man-law violation. If you do that, I think you should start your life in America if you're boyfriend, a natural citizen of America. You get 10,000 American points. Yeah. And certain things deduct points, driving in the left lane, 100 points gone. Gone. Like passing only, get the fuck out of the way. Yep. Eating stinky foods in public. Talking, walking around like this, talking on your phone in the grocery store. Face timing people out in public. What are you doing? No, you're fucking gone, you're gone. They're gone forever. I mean, wear headphones, that's fine. But like people that just like free ball it out there, there's a, we can come up with a list of man-law violations, I think. And then once you reach zero points, deported. Yeah, gone, gone. By the way, the guy from Oregon, we just met with distributors for hard AF Seltzer in Oregon and they're actually listeners of the show. So we're trying to get the booze there for the summertime out to Oregon. So we're working on it, all right? We're working hard on it to get it out to Oregon. 4 million people, tiny, tiny state, it didn't know. But they said Oregon is playing a higher state. Both teams are expected to be top five at that point. So yeah, there'd be a blast to go out there for that. I have never been there and we would love it. So maybe we can see you, John from Oregon, all right? And Roggle, does Roggle live there? I actually don't know, let me look on it. He's, we're Facebook friends. Okay. If Roggle's out there, they will party with Roggle too, okay? We need to up up our black quota. Roggle, Hamilton, Jr. Oh, cool. Hold on, I gotta look up this, God damn it. He looks like he's in Illinois. No, well shit, we'll be in Illinois for University of Illinois. These are sold on this site too. We'll be in all the stadiums at University of Illinois this fall for a party at Seltzer. And a special new flavor that won't exist anywhere else. He's in the Chicago metro area somewhere. Oh, fuck. Yeah, you'll be able to get it in August there. So we'll see you soon, Roggle. We'll be up there for a game. 'Cause the other one, Ohio State just got announced to play at Wrigley Field. They've never had a football game on the field before. I'd be a fucking boss. Why are they playing at Wrigley? No idea. Northwestern moved two of their home games to Wrigley Field. Well, you know, they just got announced yesterday. Why would you? I would much rather go to Wrigley Field, a tailgated game at bars than go to fucking Evanston, Illinois. Seriously, seriously. Seriously. As soon as I saw that yesterday, it was like-- You're not going to be able to get tickets to that. They're going to be like three grand each. Even though it was just funny, that's going to be the highest ticketed game for Northwestern ever, ever, dude. But it's-- But why are they doing it? Why aren't they doing it at the bare stadium? Or is it under construction already? Because they're-- They're trying to-- I actually think they're doing a new stadium. I need to ask Tim about this, because yeah, my understanding it's in between two decisions. One is to rebuild right there, or renovate rather, and then rebuild out in the county somewhere, which is fucking stupid. They should not do that. But seeing a football game at Wrigley sounds so fun, because it's such a small field. Have there been football games at Wrigley? Yes. Can you find a picture? Actually, there was one that they fucked up real bad, and they did the dimensions of the field in the wrong angle, so they could only play one way, because I think the Ivy wall-- Shut the fuck up. The Ivy wall was like an inch behind one of the end zones. Are you serious? I'm dead serious. That's fucking serious. Is there a picture of this? I just want to see what it looks like. That had to be a while back, but it couldn't be that long ago, because they didn't have lights there until like the '80s, right? This is what they did. This is what these-- Oh my god. Oh my god. No fucking way, Jesus Christ. God, if you cut a ball in the back of the end, it gets down there, and I owe it right to a brick wall. They did, however, figure it out for the next time. But yeah, this is how it was one of the times. Well, how long ago was this? This was within the last 10 years. Oh my god. Fuck yes, dude. We're going. I'll be there for that game. It happened in the age of three dimensional CAD programs, where you could literally just put the dimensions in and put it, set it down in there, and see where it will go. Well, we're going. We're going. I'll never miss it. That's the greatest stadium there is in the United States, so I'll be there. Fuck yeah, dude. Let's go. See you soon. Roggle. Roggle Hamilton, don't be late to the game. Maybe we'll have to lie to him about the start time. Yeah, it's something two days prior. Yeah. So he shows up on time. He's in the park. I'm not getting rained on this show. We appreciate you tuning in, kids. Go to iTunes, rate the show five star and leave a quick review. Also, head on over to Spotify. It's just a five star walk away at that point. We're dancing at Anthony Hall of Amroz Patterson. This is Drinking Bros. Thank you. It's good. Hi, everyone. [MUSIC PLAYING] Man, that sunset is gorgeous. Grill, patio, sunset, hard to get better than that, unless you're browsing Carvana's inventory while you soak it all in. Oh, burger time. So sit back. Get comfortable. Carvana's got thousands of cars under $20,000 just waiting for you. I can stay here forever. Carvana, where car buying meets comfort, meets convenience, download the app or visit Carvana.com today. Man, that sunset is gorgeous. Grill, patio, sunset, hard to get better than that, unless you're browsing Carvana's inventory while you soak it all in. Oh, burger time. So sit back. Get comfortable. Carvana's got thousands of cars under $20,000 just waiting for you. I can stay here forever. Carvana, where car buying meets comfort, meets convenience, download the app or visit Carvana.com today. (birds chirping)
