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Jesse Kelly Show

Jesse tells a story about his linen pants

Duration:
35m
Broadcast on:
14 Jun 2024
Audio Format:
mp3

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Half hour from now we'll bring on Daniel Turner. What does all this petro dollar stuff mean? Why is Saudi Arabia getting off the petro dollar? Does it matter what's going on there? So there's a lot to do this hour on the world-famous Jesse Kelly Show. Before I get to the Merrick Garland thing, I want to address a couple things first and foremost. There is a scandal brewing in the Kelly household. And don't shake your head, Chris. And here's how it goes. You remember when we went to Israel as a show, we did the whole show trip to Israel thing. So many of you came along. It was something like 200 of us. What are the 200 people? It was crazy. 2, 300 people with nuts. It was awesome. And we did a big history tour, biblical sites. This is where Chris's people crucified Jesus and all this other stuff. We did all kinds of stuff in Israel. And I had to plan for the heat because it was the middle of the desert. Remember, there were days, if you were there, you'd remember, you definitely remember. There was 105 some days, it was roasting. I acquired before we left some linen pants. Linen pants, have you ever seen these before? What, Chris, you haven't seen linen pants before? They're just, they're lovely. They're linen, linen shirts, linen pants. So they're long, they cover you, but they're super light and breathable. And they're really nice to wear in the heat. Now we get back home from Israel. I'm not gonna get rid of the linen pants. So I will still wear the linen pants to work. I'll wear them out. I came home the other night, picked up the wife, took her out to dinner, her and the boys had linen pants on. She doesn't like the linen pants. She says they look like, she said they look like sweats, Chris. And I guess in a way they kind of do, no, I'm not wearing them now, Chris. No, I guess they kind of do, look, they kind of do look like sweats, but they're not sweats, they're linen pants. And she has said that I shouldn't leave the house in them. Okay, so there's that. This was yesterday, I walk into my closet. I have a white pair of linen pants. I walk into my closet, can't find them. I haven't worn these linen pants in two weeks. My wife does laundry every day or every other day. I don't know, it seems like every time I come home, she's doing laundry and folding clothes and stuff like that. So the laundry gets done. And I should clarify something before I go any further in this story. This human being, the wife is a nerd. And when I say a nerd organization, like you've never seen in your life, if we are, we have to go to a family reunion this year. I think it's next month of the month after family reunion for her family. It'll be fun, but we're talking a weekend, a weekend at a campground. I think we're renting a cab and whatever. She will have, I am not making this up, she will have an Excel spreadsheet printed out for her and the boys of everything that needs to be packed. And she will check things off on the list as she goes along. We're talking we have the little sleeves that everything has to go. Oh, Chris, color coded. You've never seen anything like it in your life. This is a human being who knows where everything is. Whatever needs to be done, she has a list, she has a checklist. And yesterday I'm standing in my closet. I know they're clean. And I said to her, I can't find my linen pants. And I like to consider her an honest human being. She looks at me dead in the eye and says, really? That's weird. Aren't they usually here? And I'm such an idiot. I didn't catch it at the time. I tell her, yes, they're usually right here. This is where I keep them. And she just goes on and on and on. How strange that is. And then she even did this. Tell me this isn't the ultimate. I wonder where you put them. So immediately I'm doubting me as if I would go in there and move whatever she had hung up in the closet anywhere. I think she threw away my pants. In fact, I am going to go home tonight. And I am going to accuse her of having thrown away my pants. And I will be back here tomorrow for Ask Dr. Jesse Friday. And I will let you know exactly how that accusation went. What Chris, what? Chris said, is the couch comfortable? Oh, it's comfortable. It's comfortable. And you know what? Some things are worth it. We're talking about my favorite pants. If she really did ditch them and then lied about it, the couch is worth it, pal. Worth it. Anyway, don't forget tomorrow's Ask Dr. Jesse Friday. Get your questions emailed in now to Jesse. At jessiekellyshow.com. This was the ice director from today. Is there an issue with our background? You know what it probably is from the wife? It probably is revenge for the whole PD bird thing. Do you remember that story? I told you that story a long time ago. She's never let that go. All right, let me fill you in on the story before we go on and talk about the ice director. He can wait a minute. I'm busy doing some other stuff. The wife is an animal freak animal lover. I like animals. She's an animal freak. She would get choked up if I would hit a bird or something, driving my truck up the road. So she had a bird and she named the bird Petey. All right, Petey. Now, have you ever seen the movie Dumb and Dumber? If you haven't seen the movie Dumb and Dumber, this won't make sense to you. But I'll just, I'll give this away. Spoiler alert, there's a bird named Petey in the movie. Some assassin tears the bird's head off and then one of the dummies in the movie duct tapes the head of the bird back onto the bird and sells it to a little kid. It's kind of a gag. It's a funny movie, right? It's a gag and the other guy's mortified by it. And anyway, when they find Petey, they don't realize an assassin has killed the bird because again, they're idiots. That's the whole point of the movie. So the guy looks at his bird laying there in the cage and he says, oh, no, his head fell off. It was a funny line from the movie. Well, some time ago, the wife calls, and she says, I'm so sad. And I said, what, what's wrong? And she said, you know my bird Petey? And I hated this stupid bird. It just crapped everywhere. Anyway, she said, you know my bird Petey, he's dead. And I said, oh man, did his head fall off? And that didn't land that well. And so maybe this is vengeance for that. I don't know. Anyway, here's the ice director. Is there an issue with our background check system? Again, how did they slip through the cracks like that? Well, listen, we have individuals that are coming across and are done, you know, they've done by checks and CBP. Customs and Border Protection is the ones who encounter them at the border. It's not us. But it's not that sometimes there's no information on individuals. Who cares about a bird anyway? I mean, it's quite common where there's nothing. You know, you don't have anything. It's no criminal convictions. There's no threat information or whatever on these individuals. Or maybe these individuals are from an area that are particularly of concern but that pops up later when you get information later on. And as soon as we become aware of any information, like in this case, we became aware we're working collaboratively with FBI. We went out and got them. We are just letting people pour into the country. And this point has been made before but it's worth dwelling on. We are allowing people into the country with no documentation whatsoever. Because not see, as Americans, we don't really understand that we don't have a good appreciation for this. When you're born in America, you have a social security number immediately at birth or at least close after. A birth certificate. You know who mom and dad are unless you were in the army. This is, in America, you have documentation. You have medical records, vaccine records. You have, there's documentation on you all over the place. When you throw open the doors of your country and allow people to come in from any part of the world where they please, you allow people into your country. They could be the most depraved terrorist serial killer on the planet. And you would have no idea because in so many of these countries they don't document arrest records. In Houston alone, you know, I live in the Houston area. I saw something today in Houston alone. They've apprehended multiple stone cold killers in just the last couple of weeks. Couple of them came in from Honduras. Came in from Honduras rolled right across the border where they have murdered people. They've been murdering people most of their lives and they're walking among us. And that is what this administration is doing at the border. You cannot have a country and have a border that is wide open. You can't, it will end any nation. It doesn't work that way. All right, enough of that. We have to talk about this Merrick Garland stuff. It just gave me the Snickers something fierce. Hang on. (upbeat music) ♪ Jessie Kelly ♪ ♪ It is the Jessie Kelly show ♪ ♪ On a Thursday the week is almost over ♪ ♪ Put a smile on your face ♪ One of the things that I'm gonna take sick enjoyment out of, sick pleasure in, I guess you would say, and I would invite you to take this sick pleasure with me is watching the lies the system tells. And at some point the lies the system tells they actually help us because the problem is the norms and normals out there, they still think the system has credibility. You know the CDC. You know the CDC is a garbage dishonest organization that has lied through its teeth repeatedly, especially over the last three years. You already know all that. You know that people should be fired. You know that people should be arrested for what they did at the CDC. You already know that. But the thing is norm has no idea. You tell norm, the CDC, norm pictures, a bunch of doctors just trying to do the right thing behind closed doors as they try to make sure America doesn't get sick, right? That's what norm believes. So that's a problem. We need norm to wake up. Well, the more brazen and blatant the lies the CDC tells, the less credibility they have, and that's a good thing in the end. Now don't get me wrong, rather we had a CDC we can trust, but we don't and we're not going to. So since we have an evil one, you, me, we need everyone to get on our wavelength and realize the dag gun thing is evil, right? So when they do things that are really in your face, learn to take enjoyment out of them, some of it, like for instance, remember the drone strike in Afghanistan? Oh, by the way, Daniel Turner, if you want to hear about that petro dollar stuff that's coming up next, remember the drone strike in Afghanistan? We're going to recap this because I'm going somewhere with this, but in response to that terrible terrorist attack in Afghanistan, they killed 13 of our warriors. We sent a reaper drone after somebody and we killed 10 people. Six of the 10 were children and all 10 were completely innocent. Not terrorists, not our enemies. They had nothing to do with anything. We, we murdered 10 innocent people, six of them, adorable children. Well, obviously some people begin to demand answers. Hey, who's getting fired and or going to prison for the fact that we murdered 10 people? Remember this press conference? When John Kirby got, remember this? - How does it strike you that no one is held accountable because I know how it strikes a lot of people around the world that you can get away with murder and nobody's punished for it. - I do understand that. We appreciate that not everybody's going to support this decision. What I can tell you is we looked at this thing very, very comprehensively. And again, we acknowledge that there were procedural breakdowns. Processes were not executed the way they should have been, but it doesn't necessarily indicate that an individual or individuals have to be held to account for that. But look, this is one-- - Is there discipline inside the Pentagon at all? I mean, maybe there are no charges brought up, but is anyone demoted or disciplined for what happened? - What we are going to do, there's not going to be individual discipline as a result of this, Willie. But what we are going to do is learn from this and we're going to enact and improve our procedures and our processes to try to make sure this doesn't happen again. - Just process that for a moment. 10 innocent people who were actually on our side, I should note, 10 innocent people six of them adorable children were reaper-drone by the United States military. And not only did nobody resign, get fired, get arrested, not only was there no discipline at all, the men responsible for it simply called it a failure of process, wash their hands of it, and walked away. Now that's a really evil, terrible thing and I'm not going to act otherwise. But in the end, that's a benefit. It's beneficial for the American people to understand that the Pentagon is evil too, and they lie. And I thought about this when I saw this headline today from the Justice Department. An internal memo in the Justice Department claims, Merrick Garland cannot be prosecuted for contempt of Congress. (laughs) - So the Justice Department, the Justice Department has looked into this whole thing and they've decided that the head of the Justice Department can't be prosecuted. So obviously he can't be prosecuted. The head of the DOJ can't be prosecuted 'cause the DOJ said so. That is the kind of stuff, yeah, it's corrupt and it's evil and it's in your face and it's all those things. All that stuff is very, very true. At the same time, these stories don't make me mad anymore. They make me happy. I'm glad people can see how deep the rot goes. I'm glad. I'm grateful I've grown over the years. I've grown grateful for the idiots and losers in Congress. I used to really resent them. How could this guy be in Congress now? I'm glad the American people, when they turn on the television, I'm glad they see who represents this. - A colleague from across the aisle, Byron Donald's, recently said that black families were better under Jim Crow, which was a period of forced racial segregation. What would you say to that? - Yes, I'd say, is it okay for Uncle Tom, Uncle Ruckus, or maybe under this scenario, an Uncle Clarence to try to tell us what it is to be black in America, considering the fact that he is married to a white woman kind of like his Uncle Clarence. That would not have been allowed. So yeah, he probably needs to go back to the history books that they keep trying to take out of our classrooms. - That's Jasmine Crockett. Don't be mad that she's in Congress. I'm thrilled she's there. I'm thrilled that more and more people are realizing that we are led by the biggest scumbags on the planet. All right, Daniel Turner is gonna give us the skinny on this petro dollar stuff. Saudi Arabia, America, we had a 50-year pact. Sorry, there's a T on the end of that pact, and the pact is over. What happened? - It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Thursday. Do not forget to email in your questions for tomorrow's ass. Dr. Jesse Show, email them in right now, jessie@jessiekellyshow.com. Joining me now is my friend with Power the Future, my friend Daniel Turner, who's always keeping us abreast of the current energy disasters that are out there. Okay, Daniel, I'm looking at a headline here. The U.S. Saudi petro dollar pact ends after 50 years. That sounds like a really big deal. What's the petro dollar? - Yeah, I mean, this is a really big deal, Jesse. And if we had a media that actually cared about the important issues and not, Donald Trump is at the MMA fight with Jake Paul and all the silliness that they focus on. We'd be talking about this. Oil is a thoroughly American commodity, right? Yes, it's found all around the world, but it was America who figured out how to turn it into multiple products and how to make it a global commodity. And because America figured it out first, and really Texas figured it out first, oil has always been traded in the U.S. dollar. So anywhere around the world that sells oil, including Saudi Arabia, including Russia, has always had to convert their dollar, their currency into dollars for oil transactions. And that has put the U.S. in a very, very strategic advantage. And I'll give this analogy, 'cause I'm sure a lot of your listeners have traveled, you know, your southern border, maybe they've gone to Cancun, right? You're in Mexico and you wanna buy something. And the guy says, you know, it's gonna be X number of pesos, but if you give me $20 U.S. cash, it will be better for you. And you say, well, deal, right? I mean, I have the currency, it's 20 bucks. It's actually cheaper than converting it to pesos. It's convenient. And he prefers the dollars, so I will buy this, even though I'm not in America, I'll buy it in dollars and everybody wins. That puts American currency in a position of power, right? And that has been the world's reserve currency for that reason. Well, Saudi Arabia now looks at the U.S. dollar, which is in the crapper. They look at the U.S. economy, which is in the crapper. They look at our $35 trillion in debt and they look at what Biden has done to oil production writ large. And Saudi Arabia rightly says, why the hell are we converting our reels to dollars? Why don't we just buy it in our own currency? You know what, screw you, America, we're gonna buy it in Russian rubles. We're gonna buy it in Chinese yuan. What we will decide how we buy and sell oil. So now oil is no longer an American commodity world over. It's now just one more product that we don't control. That would be leading headlines if America understood how big of a deal it was. And if they were, if they were not afraid of hurting little Joe, but, you know, protect Biden at all costs. So the media just ignores this as if it didn't happen. - Speaking with Daniel Turner, Power of the Future, okay, Daniel, so today it's Saudi Arabia. Do we have these pacts with a bunch of other countries? What I'm worried about is this, you know, this creates a domino effect here. What should I be on the lookout for? - Well, you should be on the lookout of other global powers saying, why do we need US dollar? The US dollar is a lousy currency at this point. And it's, you know, 60% of all the dollars that are circulating around the world didn't exist until Joe Biden became president. So the dollar is becoming slightly worthless. And proof of that is how expensive it is to buy the same piece of beef or ground meat if you wanna make a Jesse that you were buying four years ago and you're like, well, wait a second, this used to cost me 650 for a pound of ground beef. Now it's 975, you're not getting any more. It's just cost and that's what we call inflation, right? So the dollar is becoming a valueless currency. So as other global oil powers look at that and they realize why are we tying ourselves to the American dollar? Therefore, why are we tying ourselves to America at all? Right, I mean, what is their role? Why does America get to call the oil dollar shot? How come Saudi Arabia, which they look at the future and they say, you know, America's pumping out 13 million but they have a president that wants to shut it down, we're pumping out 11 million barrels a day and we have a king that wants to double that. Well, maybe Saudi Arabia is not the oil king of the world and not America. Oh, that looks great for Saudis but how does that look for America and for America's interests worldwide, right? So this is a huge, and I get it, it's not sexy. It's maybe not even that easy to understand but into world economics and world power. This is a BFD and everyone should be talking about it but again, it makes Biden look bad and weak. He is both of those things and so the media just ignores the story completely. Daniel, how much of a problem do these oil producing countries like Saudi Arabia, how much of a problem do they have with this quote, going green, commie, climate, garbage, rhetoric from American politicians? Do they take it seriously when Joe Biden gets up and says, oil's the devil, we all just need solar panels. Do they sit back and think, well screw you, that's our whole livelihood 'cause I sure would. No, they just laugh. I mean, they play along and then do whatever the heck they want. Proof of this is last November, the UN's climate summit that they hold every year where 40,000 people gather to talk about it. Last year, then Dubai. I mean, Dubai's entire skyline, the world's tallest building, the world's only indoor ski resort, largest indoor swimming pool. All of those things that Dubai is famous for is all paid for by oil and gas. And so good are they at it, that they'll say you wanna have a conference to bash oil and gas, but 40,000 people, 40,000 of you idiots are gonna need hotel rooms and you're gonna go out to dinner and you're gonna have sushi and you know what? Yeah, come to my city, I'll host you. I mean, why wouldn't the New York Yankees host all of the Red Sox fans in New York City if they're all gonna buy beer and they're all gonna buy hot dogs? Yeah, sure, we'll take your money, you idiots. And so I think that's how they look at it. Russia, all of the OPEC nations, oh yeah, sure, climate change, climate change. And then they go about and they pump and they pump and they pump and look at what they do with the money. What does Russia do with all of his newfound trillions in wealth ever since Joe Biden became president? He goes to war with Ukraine, right? He's not building schools for girls. He's not even in the most sacred month of June. He's not expanding LGBTQ awareness programs. No, he builds an army and he conquers the next country over because that's what bad people do with money. What does Saudi Arabia do? They fund Hamas indirectly, directly, who really cares? We don't like Jews, Jews don't like us. Let's just get rid of Israel, right? What does Iran do with their newfound wealth? Same deal. So sadly, some of the most powerful oil producing states in the world are awful, awful, awful people. Venezuela, Russia, all of the Middle East, right? It's really just America and Canada who were quote unquote the good guys, but I don't know, I look at our current president. I don't know how much of a good guy we are anymore. - Dang, not hit home. Daniel, thank you so much, brother. You are the best. Daniel Turner, power of the future. - Thank you for that. That's, yeah, that's, look, on a macro level. Maybe that's what we should talk about here because that's what we tend to do on this show. What does this mean on a macro level? And I really think it's quite simple. It's something we talk about a lot. When Rome was huge, they had the whole Mediterranean all the way up into Britain, everything. When Rome was at the height of its power. And then things started to go bad. It wasn't all at once, but slowly and surely those far-flung parts of the Roman Empire started to go away. And things begin to shrink and shrink and shrink on them. And that's simply what it feels like now. Anyway, all right, let's get to some more emails and stuff like that. I do want to talk about this COVID story at some point in time, but we have more we want to get to. I want to talk first about your dog. Because your dog, he needs vitamins. He needs minerals, probiotics. He needs omega oils, digestive enzymes, antioxidants. Why does he need these things? Because he's a living, breathing thing just like you. And the problem is you think you're giving it to your dog with dog food. His dog food always acts like it's this super healthy blend. Your dog's coat will be super shiny. Yeah? How's that gonna happen with dog food that's dead? All dog food is dead food. There's nothing nutritious in it. It's just empty calories. So start buying rough greens. You know Fred used to have digestive problems after every meal, every meal. We used to have to let him out because you knew it was coming. I don't remember the last time he said one. Rough greens, baby. Free jumpstart trial bags. Try it on your dog no matter what his age is. You'll see a difference. 833-33mydog, or roughgreens.com/jessie. We'll be back. (upbeat music) - Truth attitude. - It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Thursday. We have an intruder in our home. And it's a mosquito. And now look, this is a different kind of mosquito. I need to explain something here before we get back. We're gonna talk about the WNBA and do some emails here in a second. We'll get to, you know what? I'll get to the COVID thing I teased first and then I'll talk about this mosquito. So there's a headline in USA Today Today. And the headline is a headline in USA Today Today. That's a weird. Anyway, COVID taught us a lot for future pandemics. Attacking Fauci doesn't make us safer. This goes back to what we were discussing right before I had Daniel Turner on. The system has lost so much credibility. And on some level, it knows it. And it wants that credibility back, but it is fascinating. So, so fascinating that the system doesn't have any idea how to get it back. Or it's just unwilling to do any of the things necessary to get it back. So instead, the lies just compound on the lies. They use lies, they use force, they use everything. The American people watched while all of our institutions joined together to lie to us during COVID. They lied about where it came from. They lied about how deadly it was. They lied about hydroxychloroquine. They lied about Ivermectin. They lied about the vaccine. They lied about every single thing. And the people who told you the truth for the most part were punished, screamed at and censored in this country. And a lot of people remember that. And the system knows people remember that. And so now they're trying to do the well. Nobody knew, hey, leave Fauci alone. Be nice type thing. No, absolutely not. I demand a reckoning. If you want my forgiveness, I am more than willing to give my forgiveness. I am a forgiving person. You must ask for it. You're not going to tell me I shouldn't be mad. You're not going to tell me you didn't do anything wrong. You're not going to tell me to get over it. That's not how forgiveness works. You come to me and you say sorry. You are owed. I am owed. And until I get my apology, until I get my reckoning, until I get my firings, prison sentences, lives ruined, then we are enemies. Period. End of story. All right. Now, speaking of enemies, I need to talk about this mosquito because this is a whole different breed. What Chris, listen to me. You know how mosquitoes, they'll fly around and they bite you and they give you these itchy things. But what's the one place? What's the one place that beyond the dirty places? What's the one place you've never been bitten? Ever. I should note that I've been bitten in the dirty places. It happened to me in Iraq. We didn't have facilities. This was actually in combat. And I won't go into the details, but I had to go drop my pants and it turns out it was right in the middle of this mosquito infested swamp. And yeah, it was really bad day. Anyway, what's the place? Chris, you've never been bitten. That's exactly right, your face. Mosquitoes don't bite your face. Why that is, I don't know. I'm assuming it's some kind of way God made them for something, but mosquitoes don't bite your face. Oh, they'll bite your neck, your arms, your legs, your back, they'll bite anything, your feet, anything. But mosquitoes do not bite your face. I have been around mosquitoes my whole life from Ohio to Thailand, from Montana to Iraq. I know how mosquitoes operate and I have never in my life had a mosquito bite on my face. It has never happened to me. Whatever kind of mosquito this is in the house, it's biting us in the face while we sleep. And I'm not exactly sure how to approach this, but I think we've got a new kind of mosquito in the house. And frankly, I should get credit for discovering it. I don't know what this is. It's a face spider, what, Chris? A face eater. Essentially, we're getting faceled by a mosquito. Every single, not fac, you know what forget, we're gonna put that, we're gonna move on. Jesse, watching your show from yesterday and you said something about action items, you don't like presenting a problem with that, a solution. The first solution that should be presented every single day by everyone that truly cares about America is to stop supporting these commie businesses until Americans realize we can't fund our enemies and win this war, absolutely nothing will change. Choices have consequences, all of our choices. His name is Frankie. Look, you're right, you're right. And I'll give you my latest failure about putting my money where my morals are. I've talked to you about this all the time and, you know, we are way better than we used to be as a family, you know, canceling Disney Plus. We don't do this. I don't watch the NFL anymore, which I missed to death. We don't do these things anymore. Being better about this stuff. We don't buy Nike. We don't, we don't do that stuff. I was looking through my credit card statement. I'm just mortified by this. I was looking through my credit card statement and I saw something on there that said peacock. So what in the world is peacock? I didn't buy anything from peacock and I dig into it. Apparently this has been going on for, it's had to be three or four years ago. peacock is an online TV thing. This is subsidiary of NBC. NBC's a disgusting communist company. I don't know what show was on or how that came to be. I mean, who knows, maybe I got scammed. I've been funding peacock for three years. It was, it was $4.99 a month. But all that filth you see? All that pride month stuff on NBC? I gotta own that. I paid for that. And that sucks, right? So canceled that and on we go, but yeah, you're right. It's not just where you don't spend, remember, it's where you do. - This has been a podcast from WOR. Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. With family, canollies, and spins mean everything. Now you wanna get mixed up in the family business. Introducing the Godfather at ChampaCasino.com. Test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots. 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