Know Dumb Idea
Ep. 48 - MADWARS
(upbeat music) ♪ No, don't, I'm not here ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ No, don't, I'm not here ♪ ♪ No, don't, I'm not here ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ No, don't, I'm not here ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ No, don't, I'm not here ♪ (upbeat music) Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, okay, okay, okay, okay. I know you're not gonna believe me, I know you're gonna believe me, but I have some really, really big news. - No, you don't. - I don't believe you got big news now. - I know, I know, my news always seems small. - I was so sad that it's small, but it's huge this time. - Oh, it's weird, it's medium. - Well, how, do you tell me, on a scale of small to big, Disney? - Small. - Star, I, - What? - What? - It, what are the biggest companies in the world? They're huge, are you kidding me? They're gigantic. - Yeah. - They're, they're a conglomerate giant. - They're big, I guess. - I judge them by, yeah, medium. - I'll raise it up a little. - Well, keep going, keep going. - Guys, you guys might know. Guys, you guys might know, they're making the new Star Wars movie, and well, in, in new Disney tradition, at the last minute, they've decided to rewrite the entire thing, so. - Ooh. - I heard it sucked. - I have some of you saw it. - I have managed, oh, I'm sure the old one was awful. - Yeah, but the old script, a few people read it, trash. Absolute trash, they threw it out, worthless. So, what we're gonna be doing, is I have an exclusive in, with Kathleen Kennedy's former team. People who are still working at Disney to make these decisions, they're gonna help us get our ideas in, but-- - Do you need a coffee guy, right? The coffee intern? - Yeah, the coffee guy, exactly. And he like, he can put whatever he wants in those coffees. No way he's watching when he's making the coffees. - Sorry. - So, he has a lot of, you know, he has a lot of pull. It's like somebody's cleaning, lady. You know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. - Somebody who has a lot more power than you ever discussed. - I'm assuming they have a lot of access to-- - And that's why there's always like, in the high sass. - Yeah, that's the key. - That's the key. - So, we're gonna get our ideas in front of some important eyes. We're gonna bring everybody with us, and they're gonna watch as we create genius, butter, pure genius. For everybody who's listening at home, I'm gym leader, mate. - I'm-- - This is no dumb idea. - I'm saying I'm doing intro before. (laughing) - I don't know if we forgot the intro. - No, that's a bad idea. - I'm doing it right now. I don't know why we're commenting on it. - So, that's a small idea. - That's a small idea. So, things can be cut. - Yeah, that's a small idea. - Yeah, I'm doll-liff, yay-hay if you missed that. - I'm gible dagger. - Eh. (laughing) - Yeah. - Woo! - This is no dumb idea, and we're gonna be bringing everybody along on it. - Creative journey. - Mm-hmm. - A star. - Showing exactly a Star Wars journey. - A galactic journey. - A universe close by. Not so far into the future. - Not terribly far off. - Not terribly far off in a little ways over. - Yeah. (laughing) - So, they had a lot of problems, and we're gonna help that, but I don't wanna stress you guys out too much. I know this is a lot to put on your plate right away. - So, that is a big, it is a really big news. I was wrong. - Yeah, it's a lot to bring to the table right away. So, let's hear how you guys are doing, 'cause I don't wanna overwhelm you. - Yeah, sure, sure. I can start off. I mean, I've been doing pretty good. I got my tires changed, which was nice. It took me fucking months, but. - All of them? - Yeah. I needed to buy a new tire, so I-- - Wow. - Okay, money bag. - Yeah. - No, I found the cheapest place I could, honestly. It was nice. - Spender. - Yeah. - Sunken men. - Broke boy over here. We're going to McDonald's. Get you anything that's already managed. - I changed. I changed one tire on my month. - Oh, did you? - Let's go. - All right, I like it one a month. - That's the one that was currently not working. - Oh, well, that's, I mean, if you have one tire that's broken, that makes sense to change one tire. (laughing) - I mean, it's not-- - I had four broken tires. - If you need to finally stop working 'cause they're all old-ish. - Yeah. - No, don't throw the baby with the bath water. Is that it? Does that apply to the situation? No? - To this? - Yeah. - Don't throw the tire with the-- - Are we doing the babies? - Don't throw all the tires. - Don't throw the tire with the car. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Just throw the baby on its own. (laughing) No tires with the-- - Yeah, there we go. - There we go. - Save that bath water. Don't be wasteful. - Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah, outside of that, just been chillin'. I've actually been playing two video games I really wanna highlight. The first one, I'm almost done with it. It's Crow Country. It's a survival horror game, if you either of y'all heard about it. It's very much like Resident Evil 1 or 2, like the PS1 games, but with like the Final Fantasy 7, like Chibi characters kinda. - Whoa, what's it called? Crow Country, it's our Crow Country. It's really cool, it's kind of short. It's like five-ish hours or so to give or take, but it's fucking, it's really good. It's up there. It's not as good as Signales, but it is like second to it. It's like second to it. - That's cool. - 'Cause you recommended Signales and I knocked, yeah, I love that one. I knocked that thing out in the day. - Oh, yeah. See, the thing is like, it's funny 'cause it's like Signales to me is like Silent Hill, where this is more Resident Evil and like that, like Resident Evil, that side is more inspired by like George Romero zombie movies, so it's got more of that horror action kind of-ish, you know? - Oh my god. - Where Silent Hill is more inspired. Oh yeah, it's super cute. The Silent Hill is more inspired by Jacob's Ladder, so that's like more serious psychological. So it's like, no, this is more, the psychological fuck with you or horror. - Yeah, Crow Country is like, it's more goofy B-movie. There's like some jokes here and there, tongue-in-cheek-ish, but like serious and kind of scary enough too. It's really good, it's really good. Highly recommend it. - Neat, 20 bucks. - Definitely looks oddly spooky. - Yeah, very unsettling. - Even though it's like chibi characters, it's like, oh, it's actually kind of spooky. I like been playing it at night specifically too, so it's been like extra spooky in that end. It's funny, it has like a little like, what's the company logo comes in, and it's really fucking, that makes a sound that always scares me 'cause it catches me off-guard every time. - The logos game. - 'Cause it starts off and it feels like they might've timed it differently 'cause it comes out and I'm like, oh god, it wasn't ready for that. Like, I have to mentally prepare for that. - They hit the timing, that way always surprises you. - Yeah, it feels like that, honestly. But yeah, go check it out if you like Resident Evil style games or old school, Sarah O'Hore. Really fun, plays really well. - Yeah. - It's just fun, story-wise is pretty fun. I feel like I'm just saying it's just fun, but it is, it is just genuinely a good spooky time. - That is the most important part of games. And it's only, it's not talked about. - It's only 1.5 gigs. - And I just got it. - Yo, we got it. - It's nice. Yeah, let me know how you, which is fun. - Nice. - Hey, let me know. I feel like 'cause y'all haven't played it, we can't really get too much of a discussion out of it, so, but that was a game that- - How much is it? - It's 20 bucks, it just came out though. So if you give it a little bit, it'll probably go on sale. It's one fun enough 'cause I was like, I heard it's like five-ish hours. I was like, do I really want to spend it? I was like, if I get, I really want like this and not, I don't regret it. It's really good. - Hell yeah. - Sick. - Yeah. The other game I want to just highlight, I haven't beaten this one yet, but just highly recommend as well. Also really fun. High-fi rush, I really have y'all heard of this game. - I've played high-fi- - Oh, you have high-fi. - Yeah. - So good. - I have played this actually. - It is basically like, DMC or like God of War. - Oh, this game, it's so silly. - Yeah, it's got the style of like, Jetset Radio. But the main mechanic of it is that the whole game has music and you have to fight in time to do better combos. So you, like literally as I'm playing, I'm tapping my foot to the beat. And like, if you push the buttons and dodge and all that, it's super fun. And it's when I can't throw one though and just like play without thinking, you know? You can't. - You have to be in. - Yeah. - Yeah, you have to be engrossed in that game to like hit everything directly. - Yeah, so it's like, - It's like playing rock, it's like playing like rock band or like guitar. Like you can't like look away during guitar. - No, exactly. So it's like those kinds of games. - Oh, it's, yeah, it's, yeah, yeah, it's fun. It's great. If you like music, what are the action, or character action games, I think is the term or something. But yeah, fun. - Looking it up, I thought it was a sunset overdrive for some reason. I was like, oh yeah, I know sunset overdrive. But I was like, no, that's sunset overdrive. - It looks, yeah. - Yeah. - I will say sunset overdrive is fun though too. I do like that one myself. It's flawed, but I like it honestly. - It looks like the same kind of aesthetic almost. - Yeah, yeah, it's cartoony. Jumping on a song. - Oh, yeah. - I feel like it's very like a bright pop art. - Yeah, music based, it's like punk instead. I think it's my biggest complaint with Hi-Fi Rush is, I mean, it's just more preference, is I wish it was like rap or something. It's more rock. And it's not bad, it's just, there's songs that I don't know. And there's, they actually have like genuine, like they have black keys has some, like they have, like when you're doing boss battles, it plays real music, which is pretty cool. Yeah, so it's like, oh cool, nine inch nails while you're fucking fighting this huge guy. I'm like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Oh, and for the auditorially impaired too, there's visuals to like the, everything moves in time. Like the enemies attack in time. There's like, everything's constantly moving in the environment in time. And you can even start like a, turn on like a little visual metronome too, if you just want to play without audio or your death or whatever. I saw that one time and I was like, I wonder how hard it would be to do that. It's just like as a challenge. Yeah, just like just play with all visual cues. Yeah, you have to really be on the lookout. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it just depends, I guess if your visual or auditory like processing is better, I guess, like which, you know, or if they're both. But yeah, and then just the last thing I wanted to kind of just, you know, it's still June. I think when this episode comes out. So she wanted to do a quick pride recommendation since it's, you know, the month of pride. A recommended pride action. Yeah, my recommend pride action for this month of June is the author Rachel Pollock. I don't know if y'all either, y'all have heard of her. She's trans writer. She unfortunately passed last year, but she's great. She's written a lot of sci-fi, not a lot, but she's written sci-fi fantasy. I've gotten quenchable fire. I remember reading that and being really good. But she also writes comic books. She took over Doom Patrol is where I found her. She's written tarot card books 'cause she's big enough tarot cards. You know, it's funny 'cause like, I've been hearing a lot of her name. Like DC released a DC pride celebration of her collect, like a little like issue of her, a couple of her works. It's really good. And then Neil Gaiman was just on like a, what was it? He was on American writer museum podcast and he was talking about her and praising her. And it's really good. Go check out, let me check out that podcast episode, but definitely check out her work, Doom Patrol. She's done the geek for comics and then like books are great too. Yeah, just wanted to highlight one pride person per week, I guess. Damn, that's a good idea. That's genius. Thank you, thank you. Frankly. I didn't, I stole it. I stole the idea. No, I'm kidding. Hell yeah, as all good ideas are-- I actually don't stole it from someone else who has good ideas. No, it's just because, yeah, no, well, I'm gonna do, okay, I will say, I'm gonna do the first week of July as well because we missed the first one. But it's just 'cause I recommended Julio. Get it in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, stick it in there. Fair enough, better late than never though. No, yeah, yeah. Yeah, what about you all? How about you, Gible Dang? You know, it has, it's been a pretty busy week. You know, I'm, I feel like I've been super quiet this whole episode, but just 'cause I took up a little bit of an earlier shift today. It was my day off and I just decided to work and it just offset my whole day. So I took a nap and then I woke up a little bit, you know, I'm still kind of waking up right now. But yeah, you know, it's been a good-- And now you're kind of double offset. Yeah, you literally woke up. You have your candle, your hat, your nightgown, your nightcap. (laughing) I look like Scrooge McDuck. The duck particularly. I do. Well, who else would do the thing? Fair. But yeah, it's been a good week. It's been busy, a lot of socializing, getting back in the dating game. So that's cool. Ew. Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh, a lot of smiling friends. Ooh, la, la. Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. A lot of smiling friends. Sorry, that was a reference to Smiling Friends. It was also a reference to Ula-la, the new MTG commander I picked up from Modern Horizons. Pretty cool. You're right, Ula-la. Yeah, Eldrazi, fucking. Fused monstrosity. Yeah, yeah, you know. Are we gonna date with that? I went on a date with, yeah, Ula-la. Ula-la. And then they went Ula-la. Nice. When they saw my balls. They're like, call me a blue man because I don't know. Just do it. And then they have, was technically a threesome because Ula-la is a fusion between two other beings. That's nice. Well, actually, no, they didn't include me in any of their reindeer games. They just slept, they were on the road. I made you watch, voyeurism. Perfect. They just had you pay for dinner. Wow. But no, it's been good. It's been a good week. I don't think I've seen anything new either. There are a couple action movies I need to catch up on, you know, just some homework and stuff, so. Yeah, yeah. But I think that's about it for me. Check out Speed 2. Speed 2's cruise control, check that one out. Ooh. There you go. Who does that one have, Willem Dafoe? Willem Dafoe, baby. He's gay. He likes big cruise ships. Connection to classical ships. I love the accessible ships, so. They get me off. Oh, I guess I did watch Boondock Saints for the first time not too long ago. That was part of also the week. Nice, new classic. New classic. It's such a good movie. It's such a dumb movie, but I love it. It reminds me of when there was this movie I had never seen before, and it's like, I thought I wrote it off as just like a stereotypical action movie, and so I never seen it. And I was in college, and I was interning at a video game company, and the writing team there were adamant that this is one of the best movies ever written and made. And on the last day of our internship, they sat all the interns down in the rec room and made us watch this movie, because none of us had seen it. Like, do they were like Boondock Saints as the best movie ever? No, it's not this one, but it just, this reminds me of a-- At that time, got you. Yeah, and it was four brothers. Oh my god, that's so stupid. Oh, the fucking Mark Wahlberg. I don't know if you've ever seen four brothers. Wait, who else is in it? It's like him and then three other brothers. It's Marjorie. It's Andre 3000, and-- Is it really? Yeah, those two of us. Let me give this a quick move. It's like-- God, I haven't seen it in a while. It's this whole gag. I think it was just this whole gag with them that they all went and saw it and were all so disappointed by how stupid it was that they were like, I think this might be the greatest movie ever made. God, I remember watching this and running scared a lot. Like, think about it. Four brothers. They're just not watching, but it was on. Because they were like, they're explaining how the plot is-- you could boil the plot down to the name of the movie. Yeah. Yeah. You're just like, four brothers. It's like, what's the plot? Four brothers being four brothers. Yeah. Half of them are white, and they've got to go back and prove to people why they're four brothers. Yeah, I remember that movie. God. Shouldn't maybe I'll re-watch that one, because-- Yeah. I remember this and running scared, always being on back in my childhood walking time. Do you remember-- like on TV? No, is that the one where it stars a two-by-four? Walk tall. Yeah, it's the rock in a piece of wood. Yeah, it stars a two-by-four. Yeah. Nice. Isn't that what-- I have not seen that one, actually. Mr. Sunday calls it all the time. The rock in a piece of wood, there's some shit. Probably. It's like, yeah, walking around-- walking with the two-by-four, walking around with a plank. People-- people-- I was about to say people used to make jokes about that, because you don't jotty from editing them. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like, here's him now. He's like jotty on his way to like, give him an edge for all the times that ends pretty good, but it's just doing rock jotty with that huge plank of wood. Just draw the face on it, like, edit the face onto the wood. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. I love the early, like, 2000s, like, dumb, edge to the Lord. Action, drama, thrill, elections. Yeah. So good. I love the rock. I-- for my week, I have-- I've watched some new stuff. I mean, I've watched the new "Star Wars" show. Part of the reason why I reached out to "Star Wars." Just to make sure they do that we had some opinions. Did "Star Wars" respond to you? Mr. "Star Wars"-- sorry, "Mr. Wars." "Star Wars"-- Mr. "Star Wars" did respond to you. Please, please. Mr. "Star Wars" is my dad. Please, just call me "Star." Just call me "Star." Please, please, Mr. "Star Wars" is my dad. This is what I sound like. I'm also Mr. "Star Wars" now. Hello. Trippin' Trippin'-- I have a more-- He sold the rights to that name. So yeah, I've been watching the new show. I like it a lot. The internet's all mad about it, which makes me like it more. That's how you know it's a good "Star Wars" property, like-- Literally, it's like-- Whenever I like "Star Wars" stuff, it's always things that are deviated from a lot of the, like, mainstream "Star Wars" things it feels like. Like, everybody wants to see more, like, knights and more, you know, like, lightsaber-specific battles and things like that, whereas I'm just so content with exploring the universe and getting some new stuff. Right, Jim-- Jim, you know, he hates episode four. I like that. Sorry, four or five and six, obviously. I mean, I'm canonically a prequel. Oh, really? Stan? I was fucking around, but, huh? Yeah, all right. No, I am a-- Apologies. Code one, Stan. Interesting. I am an episode one apologist. I will go toe to toe with anybody who says it's a "Bad Star Wars" movie. A bad movie? Maybe. A "Star Wars" movie? No, it's the perfect "Star Wars" movie. I can attest to that. I can-- I can agree with that, that's fair. With someone with like-- Comes with what "Star Wars" is. "Star Wars" isn't, you know, is it, in my view, like, Oscar-worthy cinematic excellence? That's not the point of "Star Wars." You know what I mean? The point is that it's goofy and fun and flashy and, I don't know, just-- I think episode one does it-- does every single part of "Star Wars" justice. Perfectly. It is an utter-- it is a complete explanation as to what "Star Wars" is. It is like the-- The matter. It's like unfiltered version of his-- George Lucas' idea is, I guess. Like, the most pure George Lucas "Star Wars" stuff. Oh, yeah. Straight from the depths of his-- Sick mind. Demented sick mind. Yeah, from the sick and twisted mind of George Lucas. Lucas, yeah, yeah, Luca. Well, there's, like, plural. It's me. Hello, me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I can't wait to see this. It's going to be pretty crazy. Check out this script I've been working on. - Oh, wow, I really like Ready Player One. Oh, I didn't make that movie. - Oh, no. (laughs) - Can I start editing other people's movies and putting CGI? - No, get back on your cage. - Maybe I'll write something more about cars. - I put digital ads in the back of Gone with the Wind. - Pulls our cattle prod. - Get back in there. - Yeah. - But yeah. - Yeah. - Interesting show about, you know, kind of a mystery, very lots of intrigue. - That sounds cool. - Kind of like something crazy in the past. And now they're unraveling this thing that was hidden by a group of Jedi for years. And yeah, it's got a lot of really cool moments in it. And I really like the like wire trick kung fu style to the fighting. - That sounds like the movie that you drafted during in our draft movie episode, whatever that was, with like 9K. 'Cause you had a murder mystery sci-fi. - Oh, that's true. - Oh, that's true. - I did, this is-- - So you made, this is so close to, yeah, I made this show. This is, 'cause I told you I have an end. - True, true, with Star Wars, with Mr. Wars. - No, do you like it and no one else does? We're starting to get the big picture, the lore's coming out. - 'Cause they don't like my ideas, but I like my ideas. And I'll give them a fuck if I'm manifesting all these ideas into the real life. I mean, there's the-- - Yes, we have. - There's a lot of words. - I love this. - I think like a Republican, what was it? God, I don't know what I'm trying to say. - Sorry, I cut this stuff out. Cut this stuff out. Oh yeah, no, I think there was like a politician in like Texas or something that wanted to legalize like cousin love, or some shit like that. - Oh, cousin, yes. - There's the squirrel with the gun that just happened. - Couple other things. - Well, I mean, I will-- - That wasn't what I worked for, I still always say. - I knew that existed when I put that in the game. - Champ, fair, it just worked out, though, perfectly. - I stole that one, yeah. - I just put the squirrel and gun as options, and I was hoping it would happen. - We got prototype infamous situation going on here, deep impact on the other one, the core. I don't remember, let's try again. - I'll imagine it on. - I'll attempt the mis. - I'm a Jedi, yeah. - So, speaking of which, I think it's time we get to the real crux of this, you know? - Yeah, thanks for having me. - We need to wheel into existence in New Star Wars movie. Well, I got some, you know, there's been some mixed feedback on the New Star Wars things that I've been leaking to Disney. And people are getting all mad, so I was like, you know what, maybe if I put a little random element into it that I can't control, it'd be perfect. And that element would be you guys, because I never know what the fuck you're going to say. - Random, lull, bacon. - So, you didn't always say that fucker. - I like that. No, I always knew you were going to say that at some point. - My catchphrase. - My titular catchphrase. - Your titular catchphrase, random, lull, bacon. - My catchphrase. - So, doobie, doobie, doo, or something like that. - Oh, yeah. - Doobie, doobah. - Dig it out of him. - Yeah, that's enough. So, this is going to be a story treatment, you know? So, we're just going to get a nice step-by-step of the story, a good description of how the plot of the film works, something I can present, you know? So, and don't worry, you'll definitely have writing credits. I don't want writing. - But depends on how problematic, yeah, if it's problematic, I kind of don't want that. So, you could-- - No, you have to. - Actually, if you actually bow out and don't do this, I'm still going to put you on. So, now you have to bow out. - You're going to put me on. - You're going to put me on, eh? Wink, wink. - Yeah, I'm going to put you on the, yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I'm going to put you on a pedestal for this piece of man. - All right, you've nagged me enough on that. - All right, all right, all right, here we go. - All right, there we go, perfect. All right, so, we're going to start, you know, something crazy, you know, a lot of the movies like start with just an exclamation, you know? War. - Ooh, nice. - What's it good for? - We're going to start with something crazy. - I think we should know. - So, we just need a nice big exclamation. - I think that will, it's going to be refreshing. - That's the ending credits. - Yeah, exactly, the ending credits, but it's done in the Star Wars-- - Ending credits. - It's done in the Star Wars, like they're rising up, yeah. And then-- - Action, perfect. - And then it should cut to Obi-Wan Kenobi. His force goes, okay, hold on, I don't think, I don't think we understand how this works. I've already written the plot. I need some filling, filling the blanks here from you guys. - Like Mad Libs. - I'm not really looking for you, I just take creative control over this project for being in here. - So, I'll be walking in here. - He addresses the audience directly and he says, this is a story that unfolded a billion-- - This is a Star Wars. - A billion trillion in six years ago. I go in and hold on to your butts and grab snacks. I'll wait and then there's a five-minute-- he waits for five minutes. - Montage? - Yeah. - Yeah, oh, just that. - You know what? I think we better make this a literal fill-in-the-blank here. I'm afraid if we give-- - Too much fill-in-the-blank. - We give a little thing too much control and freedom. Things might get a little out of hand. So, I'll tell you what, I'm going to, I'm just gonna throw out some things to you guys and I want you to tell me what you think should go in that blank, all right? - Okay. - And that way, I can fill in the details. - I got the first word ready in my mind whenever you're ready. - All right, so we need a dangerous-- something dangerous. - A gun. - That's our first one. - A gun. - A gun. Guns are pretty dangerous, I think that's perfect. All right. - A typhus? - So next, we need some more-- Ooh, typhus might be better. - Typhus might be better. - What would you guys think? Gun or typhus? Typhus is a little more scarier than I thought it was. - It's not too typhus? - Yeah, like the disease, typhus? - Yeah, typhus. - Like typhus? - Nothing against our typhus listeners. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's a typhus, the thing is the virus and then typhoid fever is the illness. - And it's fun. - Is the fever? - Can't we, can a character be named typhus? - Oh, that could be a character's name instead. I don't know, what do you think? - I think that they should be the origin of the-- - This is Star Wars. - They should be, now they should be called the Typh Fighters. - Oh. (laughing) - Oh, damn it. - Okay. - So we'll save, we'll have to save Typhus then, so should we keep it gun? - Ooh. - Okay, gun. - Okay, that's fine. - Gun. - Do gun. - Gun. - All right, now I need a number. - 17. - 17. - 69. - Ooh, 69. - 420. - 69. - 69. - 69, 420. - Maybe just 420, we can save 69. - 420. - Well, how big. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, save 69, 'cause we're probably gonna need some more numbers. - The fans will get the reference, hopefully, the 420 part. - Hopefully. - So now we need a planet. We need a planet in Star Wars. - New or old, it doesn't really matter. - New or old. - I don't think the fans care. - Yeah, Earth. - Earth. - The moon. - The moon. - The Zeta Reticulon. - Earth's moon. - I like Earth. I think Earth is perfect. It's about time we bring Earth into Star Wars. - That's yeah, I'm sure. - I feel like people, that's what people want. I think they won't be able to enter Star Wars. - Exactly. - Ooh, please tell me what you can do. - Yeah, I want that they can cross over. - Can we get Batman? Ooh, I love Batman from The Avengers, it'd be perfect. Shut up. We'll get the-- - All right. - Well, Chris, we're walking Batman, it'd be perfect. - So, and now we're gonna need another planet name. - Earth too. - No, sorry, we need a system name. - Skywalker Ranch. - Like the Milky Way. - The Milky Way. - The Zeta Reticulon. - This is this, this will be the Zeta Reticulon. - Is that from something? I don't know that reference. The Zeta Reticulon. - All right, perfect. - I can't remember what that's from, it is from-- - Okay, I'll say it sounds like it figures. - But people won't know. - Yeah, true, true. - It's gobbledygote. - Star Wars references a lot of things already, you know, so. - It's perfect. - Yeah, exactly. A new evil head, so, okay. So what we really need to do then, something really powerful, a name. - I need a good name. - Smeag, no. - Deagle. - Ooh. - Smeagol. - Should we take more from other things? - Do you like Smeagol? - Smeagol or Deagle? - Again, people aren't gonna notice. My script's gonna be better than anything it's taken from other things. - Again, they've taken from other things all the time, so. - Yeah, exactly, exactly. All right, we need some more nicknames for space things. It could be planets, it could be, you know, areas. - We need more locations in space. - In space. - Space Cations. - Yeah. - Splurge, ooh, I don't know. - Splurge? - That's thinking the name Splurge just came to me. - I think, I think that's fine. - I don't know for what, but what about Smeag Mars? - Ooh, I like that. - Smeag Mars. - Sounds like a good, yummy, like candy bar. - Like a yummy, yeah, like a treat. - That's what the. (laughing) - Smeag Mars Mars. - Yeah, Smeag Mars. - I'm okay, thank you. - All right, so now something that's always important, sci-fi, I think everybody really likes when they talk about and harp on a resource that everybody's always wearing out. - On a stadium. - So, ah, but no, everyone's done that. - Should we do it? - I mean, we could do something even better. - Oh, they're out of it. - Even better. - Mm, and impositium. - Impositium. - Yeah, true. - Gotta make our own. - Gotta be legally distinct. - Milk. - Milk. - I think milk is milk, actually. - Cow milk, but specifically cow milk. - Wait, should we specify milk? - Yeah, I would say 'cause there's blue milk. - Yeah, yeah. - Milk horse, all right, so we're gonna put milk here. - Perfect. - All right, that's perfect. All right, now we're gonna need a government organization, a some type of government body, or like, you know, could be from, yeah. - Biden? - That's up to you. - Biden. - We'll call him Donald Biden. - As an organization, as an organization, just Biden. - Yeah, just Biden. - I like that. I like that, let's do Biden. Show me Biden. - Okay, you got it, 100%. Okay, and then, next, I guess we're gonna, I think, really, we're gonna need an adjective here. - Mm, fucking. - Let's get descriptive, we need some color for the script. I'm sorry. - Fucking is not an adjective, I don't think it's an adverb. - Depends on how to use it. Pittsburgh. - Again, green. - A noun-ish-blue. - A green-ish-blue, I'll accept green-ish-blue. That is actually an adjective. - Cornish game. - And then, that's also a hint. - Yeah. - But not a hint, hint is the noun, Cornish game is the-- - A Cornish game. All right, it's too late. I wrote green-ish-blue, we gotta write that. - Fuck. - I already wrote it in this thick black pencil. - No racer. - No, I mean to be fair, we've-- - A couple of miles. - George Lucas didn't race any of his works, so why should we? - He didn't. - Not a word. - In episode one, he kept every single bit in. - Jar Jar Binks was actually supposed to be Jonathan Blanks and he fucked up and never changed it. - Jonathan Blanks? - You had to do something. - Blanks, with an A. - Blanks, Jonathan Blanks was original, so Jar Jar Binks was originally Jonathan Blanks. - I guess you know what I like, it's a lot better. I think I should probably keep it. I think I should make it talk like a Ross Safari and kind of guy, I don't know. - Yeah. - Also, side note, my favorite Star Wars character is the Pepsi commercial alien. That's like a fucking, lives in the parent's basement and like, neck beard, it's perfect. - Oh, that was me. - Oh, nice, I didn't-- - You looked-- - I played that. - Nice. - Yeah, I played that guy. - Oh, that's cool, I didn't know. - Yeah. - I guess the prosthetic arms, the extra arms. - Funny enough, he's, he's smegmark. - Oh, yeah. - I mean, Star Wars, significantly. - Perfect. - Now I know that, I'm surprised you said that deep count. - Yeah, yeah. - So, we're gonna need, next, we're gonna need a name for the new Jedi Order. What are they gonna call themselves? Are they still the just the Jedi? - Old Jedi Order. - The old Jedi Order. - The old Jedi Order. - The old Jedi Order. - The old Jedi Order. - Eel, no. - The old. - Yeah, Eel. - No, I like that. - Yeah, Eel. - Eel Jedi, Eel. - Eel, the Jedi Order. - Why not? - Perfect, teamwork. - It makes the dream work. - That's good, right? - All right, perfect. All right, so who is a, which one of the already existing characters is gonna be Rey's first student? That's the real question. - Already existing characters? - That's one of the few ones. - I would say Bilbo Baggins, but I don't know. - I'm gonna let you in on a little bit of the, a little bit of what you're gonna hear later. That you're gonna be an existing character who is her first student, so who should that be? Is someone who is already in the Star Wars? - So it's gotta be a real name, I guess, for a Star Wars name. - That makes sense because he's also a Skywalker. - That's true, my prevailing theory is that since Anakin Skywalker made C-3PO that, you know, he's Luke's brother. - He's Luke, yeah, C-3PO's Luke's brother. And if Rey was like adopted, quote unquote, into the Skywalker family the same way C-3PO was, that's G, you see, this is why it came to you guys. - Anakin is half robot too, so it's perfect. - It's true. - Exactly, literally half? - I didn't even think about the last part of the world. - It's half brother. - Oh, good. - Now, this is perfect, this is the one I think is having to work here. - We're gonna need another number though. - 69. - Oh, 69, yeah, 69's for this one. - This is time for 69. - 69, there we go. - Yeah, always time for that. - Next, gotta have some new gagoos, right? - Gagoos. - So, let's get an alien species. - Minions. - What's an... - Spinions. - What's that exist? - The Spinions. - What was the alien one show? - The aliens? - No, the aliens? - The Spinions, 'cause they're from space. - Oh, oh, right, alienions. - I do like that. I was like, let's say alienionions. Throw in a gym leader, an original. - There we go. - We got a gym leader. - Make classic. - 'Cause we were talking about the alienions last time. - Yeah. - So. - It's fun to say, too. - Okay, then. - All right, so we got one. Let's get another alien species. - The... - For... - Got to have... - For bienions. - Got to have schtick. - For... - For bienions? - For bienions? - For bienions? - The bibloids? - For bienions? - Okay. - Oh, bibloids, pretty good. I like bibloids. - Bibloids, are they Christian? - Yeah. - Like, do they follow the bibloids? - Yeah, why not? - All right, the bibloids. - Bibloids. - All right, perfect. - The planet is actually a bibl. - The bibloids? - Bibloids, bibloids. - They have bibloids. Rip 'em, let 'em rip. Like, lightsaber bibloids. - Exactly, see, it sounds perfect. Actually, they kind of already did that, but... - Oh, yeah, nice, perfect. - All right, so let me go ahead and fill in some here that is already something we decided on. Perfect, the gaps are being filled in wonderfully, I'm gonna be honest. So, we're gonna need another pre-existing character. - Ooh, the Pepsi alien that I was mentioning earlier. - Smagmars? - Well, in our script, Smagmars is now a pleasure. - That'd be weird if it's needed. - It's nice noodles. - What about, like... - Snoodles? - Snoodles are droid. - I was gonna say Grundthorpe? - Grundthorpe? - Okay. - Oh, wait. - We're saying existing character, right? - You know, this has to be existing. - Who's sizeless? - The hot chick that's all lips and legs. - Oh, yeah, perfect. - Actually, I like, I like, I agree. - Okay. - Oh, mom. - In fact, can we get two of hers? - Yeah, she's the one who's like, ♪ I'm back, get you back, I'm back ♪ ♪ I'm back, get you back ♪ ♪ I'm back, get you back ♪ - Yeah, yeah. - I had the song there. - And that guy comes in and he's like, ♪ I'm back, get you back, get you back ♪ ♪ I'm back, get you back, get you back ♪ - Yeah. - I had the song there. Classic, beautiful. Love those, love those CGI inserts. - Oh, yeah. - So, all right. So now, we're gonna need a new character name. - Gible Max. Nah, that's too close to Gible Dang. Gible Dang. - Dala. (laughing) - Dala? - Sure. - Gabba, yo gabba gabba. - Um, we gotta make it Star Wars. - Yeah, it's gonna be different now. - I'm gonna say, baby J-Broom's. - Ooh, classic. - Lord's. - That sounds perfect. - That sounds perfect. - I'll say Lord's Jukis. - Wait, wait. - Lord's Jukis. - Wait. - I'm like, oh yeah, Lord's Jukis. (laughing) - Wait, I heard Lord's Jukis. - I'm sorry, I was like, Lord, Lord. You could do a Lork. You know, it's still a reference on a fan. - How would we feel about, how would we feel about Lork? - Lork. - L-O-R-C-H. - Yeah, that sounds V-Lork. - Jukis. - Jukis. - Jukis. - Okay. - Nice. All right. Now, we need an adjective. - Pittsburgh. Cornish game. Cornish game. All right, now we'll use Cornish game. (laughing) - Oh my God. - God damn it. Perfect. It's beautiful. I love it. - Oh, quite the script. - It's honestly a man. Wait, hold on. - Can we charge us a day? - All right, need a number. - Need a number. - Oh, we're gonna, oh, don't worry. I'm gonna milk them for everything they got. - Milk. - Number. - Yeah. - Can't do number milk. - No, you said milk. The whole plot of the movie is milk. So it's all. - Negative 1400. - It's a theme. - Ooh, negative. - Negative, what am I doing? - I'm gonna need a positive. - A pie. - I'm gonna need a positive pie. - Yeah, pie, pie. - What? - What? - Pie. Three point, four, five, nine, sorry. What's that? - Yeah. - Uh huh. - Yeah, perfect. - This might take a little while. - Sure, sure. - Take your time. - No. All right, that's all of it. - I've got it all in one. - No, I did it. I wrote it all. All of all, I just got skills. - Yeah. - Next, I'm going to need a ship. A type of ship. - Titanic. - Three. - The TIE fighter. - Oh, yeah, no, yeah. - Shit, that's right. We forgot about that. - Oh, the TIE fighter. - We did the TIE fighter. - We put that in the back burner. - Bring that bad boy back. - See. - The calculations. - We need a verb. I need a verb here. - Pissing. - Jar Jar. Jar Jar Dream. - I just need the jar jar. I need it. Jar Jar. Okay, got it. - That's a pretty jar. - Jar Jar. - Yeah. Damn it, Jar Jar again. - Oh God, I jar jarred my pants. - Now we need, that's perfect. Yeah. - What about a Jedi ability? - Space fart. - Spark. - Sorry. - Kind of wish she saved Jar Jar. Now. - Yeah. - Jedi ability. - Yeah. - Force fart. - Ability of the force. One of force user would use. - Force. - We gotta like keep things, you know. Interesting. Use the force sometimes. - Oh, wait. - Any little force. - Cheetah dice. - Force Cheetah dice. - Oh, yeah. - Force loaded dice. - Force loaded dice. - We got an episode. - Yep. Force loaded dice. That's why episode one's the best. It shows Jedi cheating at gambling. - I love those on me and my soul. - True religious monks would. - I saw the meme where it was like me, Swindoos. Like yeah, I sent them to go like, just have like a peaceful debate in episode one. And they came back with the slave boy in a gathering. It's like, it's like, it's like, he did not do the job with the fuck. - Nope, not even a little. - Good movie, good movie. - All right. Now, let me. Yes, in here. Now I need a piece of clothing. - Yeah, you've been doing the Soul Podcast naked, man. I was about to say. - Yeah. - I know. What should I put on? I should probably grab-- - Just a hat. - I think it's just a hat. - I kind of just donned it. - Just a hat. - Yeah. - You look, your head looks cold. - Actually, I don't even think I have any. - Oh, shit. Well, I guess all gonna be naked for this, I guess. - I'm so poor. I'm hatless. - So you bought one tire. Put your tire on your head. (laughing) - Oh, okay. There we go. - For clothing, can it be that the big wooden barrel with the straps? Can it be one of those? - Oh, a barrel. - Oh, yes. Absolutely. - Yeah. - A barrel with, like, suspenders? - Yeah, suspenders. I mean, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Perfect. (laughing) - I wanna see a Jedi wearing one of those doing fucking flips and stuff. - I'm Darth Barrel. - Uh, I'm George Lucas. - Yeah, Lord's Chukis. - Lord's Chukis. (laughing) - All right. - You forced out a message. - Oh, actually, we know this guy's name. There we go. Good ol' Lord. - Perfect. - All right, we're gonna need another planet. - We got Smag Marders. - The plant? - Yeah. - Poopeter. - Poopeter. - That was gonna say, like, Uranus is already fucking right there, but that's a little too obvious. - Well, that's what he's making. - Yeah, I think we're right next to Uranus. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, can you turn around? - Do you guys not want, do you guys not want me to do this podcast squad or go by my platform? - Yeah, that's fine. - That's fine. Just turn around. I don't think you're gonna be facey, you know, it's that way. - You know, like, when you-- - I like when someone in the eyes, not the brown eyes. - I just didn't know. - You know, you said you were gonna show us Uranus, but I don't know why I thought it was gonna be the planet. I guess shame on me. - Yeah, I would say I agree. - I feel like, yeah, you were assuming things 'cause we're just 'cause we're doing Star Wars isn't gonna be talking about a planet. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry. - This would be fair, a lot of Star Wars says suck ass. So, topical. - True. - Onto our brain. - All right, I'm gonna need another alien species for the next part. - Humans. - Humans, humoids. - Hemoroids. - Hemoroids. - The hemorrhoids. The hemorrhoids. The hemorrhoids. Do the hemorrhoids. - Hemoroids. - I love this, like, back and forth that we got, gibleting of, like, expanding each other's ideas. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, you gotta build until you reach the perfect press of this. - Yes. - All right. So, to finish the press of this, nice. - I'm gonna reach my press of this game. - I'm going to me. - I'm press-a-pissing. - Lots of press-a-piss. - We're gonna need to take a press-a-piss soon, actually. - I'm, right. - I don't, actually. - I'm gonna need a sentence. - A sentence? - One of, like, one of the, one of the senses. - Yeah, one of the senses. - The feeling when you, like, you need to hold in a big fart, but you're on a date. - Oh, man, I know that. - I know that, bro. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, I have five. - Let's say that one, actually. - Hold on. I don't know how to write. So, like, if I were to write that, like, a sentence, like, a hearing or sight. - What? - Do you hold? - How would I write? - Coofy. - Coofy. - Of bubble guts. - Bubbling guts in a fart. - What do you call the feeling of holding a fart? - It could cause, okay, holding in a fart can cause a feeling of bloating, abdominal distension, or intestinal distension. Let's look up distension. - I like distension. - Distension is good. - Distension? - No, or intestinal. - Yeah. - Intestinal distension. - Ooh, yeah, yeah. Let's say intestinal distension. - Perfect. - I think that's good. - All right, got it. - It's good middle ground. And then I'm gonna need, I'm gonna need an alien body part. Space penis? - This is awesome. - Yeah, I'm like, - That's right. - Space legs. - That's like a really, - The speedus. - The speedus? - Yeah, like. - Ooh. - Yeah, the speedus. 'Cause that does sound a little bit real, you know? 'Cause isn't the weenus something or whatever? - True. - Yeah. - I don't think medically, but... - We have to, we have to operate on our weenus. Hurry, get them into operation. Stat. - Yeah, so we, weenus implant. - Quick, I need to get in for a weenus existence. - Sorry, buddy. - This person wants implants in their weenus, so make a move. - It looks like your mother's weenus is inflamed, and there's just nothing that we can do. - There's nothing we can do, I'm sorry. - We lost her. - Her weenus is done for us. - Please take mine. - I'm sorry. - Take mine. - We thought about that. - I'll give you my weenus anything you say. - It's unfortunately not a match. - You're not compatible, yeah. - Yeah, I'm sorry. - Oh my God. - We can graph some skin. - A weenus graph. - Let me go ahead and... - Yeah, I was like, graph some skin for us or a place for weenus, but I mean, she'll never weenus again. - She'll never weenus again. - She'll never be the ween. - Here, hold on, next we're gonna need, hold on, I gotta get to the rest of the screen. - I know weenus is funny. I know. But listen, I need a bio. - Bio? - 'Cause I gotta make sure this is done so I can send it to the folks in Mr. Wars. - Yeah, yeah. - My craft. - Mr. Wars. - Oh, yes, let's do minecraft. - Minecraft bio? - Minecraft bio. - Yeah. - Okay. - Okay. - And then I'm gonna need an object. - A Jeep Cherokee. - A Jeep Grand Cherokee. - A 2008 Jeep Cherokee. (laughing) - Perfect. - Honestly, honestly, every good movie has products like this. - True, true, yeah, true. - Like fucking Godzilla versus Kong, you guys remember that? Or Godzilla and Kong, where it just cuts to the commercial. - Yeah. - On the middle of the fucking. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one I remember. - And they're driving. - They literally just pulls up to the car commercial, yeah. - We made it big. - That's beautiful. - Mercedes, we're Kong to drive around in the Hollow Earth. - All right. So, now what we're gonna need is we're gonna need the name of a character. Another character named. - Could be someone from the Star Wars or made up, it's up to you. Totally up to you. - Jackie Chan? - As I say, an enigma Montoya. - That's my offering. - Honestly, why does that sound like an actual name they already have done? Like they just took it and they're just like, yeah, an enigma Montoya. - Jackie Chan, but Jackie Chan sounds like a real, no, honestly, I agree. - We can, dude, we can do Jackie Chan. - Which would, what would you guys got to agree on? - Yeah, no, I was just like, can we like do Jackie Chan, but like expand Chan to be like something, like what Jackie Chan Han or something? - What did you say again? - You said enigma. - Chan enigma Montoya. - Enigma Montoya. - You want to combine them? - Jack Toya. - Mont-Chan-Toya. - What about Jackie Chan, but we like Star Warsify it? - That's what I'll say. - So it's like J-A-K, space, E, like the, just the, - Like apostrophe. - Yeah, apostrophe E. - And no, middle name E. - Oh. - A abbreviated to a letter. - Jack E. - Oh no, Jack, Jackie, each. - Ooh, each. - Each. - Each. - C-H-N. - A-N. - A-N-N. - An answer woman's name and I don't like that. - Jackie Chan. But like, it's like Qui-Gon Jin. - Okay. - Jack E-Chan. - I was like, I was like, Qui-Gon Jin has a woman's name. - You can say that too, yeah. - That's supposed to be the woman's name. - Hi, my name is Qui. - Oh, G-Gon is. - Oh, God, fair, fair, I don't know. - Well, it's my mom's name, actually. - G-Gon? - All right, I think I'm gonna go with-- - Because she ran away before I was with Jack. - She's G-Gon, she's G-Gon, damn it. - That's what your dad kept saying. - Oh, my mom's G-Gon, okay? Oh, God, now I gotta raise this fucking idiot on my own. - My name's Idi? - Okay, cool, I'm learning a lot of things. (laughing) - Today was just so informative, but so sad. - Nice. - All right, now what we're gonna see, Idi affiliate a couple things here, 'cause we need a little bit of lurch here. - I can go for some lurch right now, if you know what I'm saying. - I'm gonna say, woo, hungry. - All right, now we're gonna need a game. - We need a game that somebody plays like-- - Oh, Fortnite. - Wait, no, we gotta focus on the script. - Oh, Fortnite, yes. - Food. - Yeah, we'll get some Fortnite. - No, I think that's perfect, 'cause Palpatine's in it. - Exactly, yeah, yeah, this whole movie will exist in Fortnite, actually, can it? - It'll reference in Fortnite. - 100%. - Yeah. - Yes. - Let me guess that's not that weird, 'cause it's like, we play video games with football players and shit in it, so it's like, that's just them playing with the amp. It's like, that'd be the same stuff we're playing, like, the Biden game. - In the Jedi survivor game, you play a little holo game, where like, you summon characters to fight each other, and like, the things you summon are like-- - Are they stormtroopers? - Not a fair true. - And like, you know, like, the animals that we know, like-- - They don't know where. - Yeah. - And stuff like that. - So it's probably the Palpatine. - Yeah. - Whatever. - Yeah, that's their Fortnite. - Darth liberal. - Fortnite. - Darth Lib. - Darth liberal, it's Darth Brandon, we already know that. - Yeah, true. - All right, so now I need a business. - And Ron. - Is that still a thing? Why is it the first one I'm thinking about? - I'm not a business-- - It is installers. - Not the name of a business. More like a category of a type. - Oh, like a type. - Okay. - Um, Scissor Shop? - I think it's Scissor Shop. - Yeah, that's a pretty good one. - Is that Scissor Shop? - Scissor Shop. I wasn't sure if that's what you were looking for. - I'm always looking for Scissor Shop, honestly. I can never find a Scissor Shop. - I'm always looking for a Scissor Shop. There's never on Google Maps. - Listeners, if you know any Scissor Shop, you know, send them out ways. - You can only get really use some. - Yeah, seriously. - All right, and now I'm going to need a big container of some sort. - So the container or what's in the container? - I think a Tupperware, the container itself, something you would put a Tupperware, those are pretty big. - It's a pretty big. - It's a pretty big, cheap, cheap, crunchy. - It's fine. - It's fine. - It doesn't mean that they'll get all of my case for it. They're gonna, they're gonna take something. You gotta just put one grand Cherokee in there. - And what are you thinking? - I'm gonna go with Tupperware. - Tupperware. What was it again? - Yeah, Pittsburgh. - Pittsburgh. - Hey, that's a big container. - You can hold it on. - Yeah, that's a lot there. - That's true, it does hold a lot, but it's not super portable. So it's not really hard to move things in it. - I mean, Star Wars can rename, like they'll just, they'll figure it away. - They'll figure it out. So it is our thing. - All right, next, we're gonna need an adjective. - 17. - I think we already used Pittsburgh, I wanna say. - Numbers are an adjective. - 17 will not count. That said, whoever. - Yes, I think numbers are an adjectives. Like give me the two corner game hands. - I think. (laughing) - Chris. - That was so five of you anyway. - James. - I get it from my mom. - I got it. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom, I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - I got it from my mom. - 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