Let's Get Fired
48- Tanner Rahlf- Boomer Sooner!
- Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Let's Get Fired. If you have any questions you want us to ask our guests or have any crazy work stories you want to share with us, go ahead and email them to us at let's get fired podcast at gmail.com. Again, that's let's get fired podcast@gmail.com. Let's get into it. - 'Cause like all I have to do is not wear this and I'm not threatened by anyone. - You didn't become more racist at all. Maybe your in Oklahoma would change it. - The dude who has a license plate that says I rose. I just, there's no world why I believe he's 100% straight. I don't think I've ever heard you do any accents. It's a British. Ask for a cigarette. - Dude, have a f-- (upbeat music) - Welcome to a new episode of Let's Get Fired. I'm Drew Simon with Quentin Johnson with the return of Tanner Ralph, the third time. - And the real and the real return. - Yeah, the real return back. - He's back in Utah. - Technically, this is my fourth appearance because we did a group one. - Oh, yeah. - In four corners. - I forgot about that. Yeah, four appearances within the first, I think this is the 50th episode. - Oh, dang. - There we go. - Perfect. - There we go. - Look at that, that's exciting. - I didn't realize how fat I was until your last episode that I was on. And then I was like watching myself on the video and was like, "Geez, let's wait, kid." - I mean, the camera really does add like 100 pounds. - Yeah. - He does. - And also, I mean-- - I felt bad saying this, I had Dennis on. - Uh-huh. - And we never put it out because the camera, I accidentally record the whole thing and slow-mo. - Oh, really? (laughing) - Oh my God. - You could just double the speed? - No, I couldn't get it to that. - Oh, that sucks. - I think I could now him a lot better if he wanted anything. - Yeah, that's pretty simple. - Well, this is, we gotta scrap it. - Well, I mean, that sucks, but I get to hear that thing. Why did you bring up Dennis? Was it because of-- - 'Cause slow-mo or? - Yeah, well, it was 'cause of fat, but Dennis in slow-mo was beautiful. - I had that. - Yeah, that makes it great. So appreciate it all. - Appreciate it all. It was really good. - I also like what you said, I'm like, man, I just looked so fat in that video. You pretty much looked exactly the same the whole time I've known you. - I know. - But sometimes you just can't see yourself. - I think that's more of what it is. I think it's just the mental games of how I see myself versus how-- - The reality, yeah. - Yeah, like radio voice when you first hear your own voice, and you're like, "Ooh, the hell is that?" - Yeah, it's terrifying hearing your own voice. - I remember when we did weigh-ins and probably brought-- - Yeah. - I lost like 15 pounds from that. - And where are we now? - I lost. - I lost 35 pounds down from where I was then. - Really? - Hey. - Dude, if I show you a bit of videos from, when we did that show in Rexburg, dude, I was pushing 260. I was so heavy. - Hell yeah. - No, I mean, hey, we're all getting better, right? - We're staying stagnant. - Okay, I mean, okay. I mean, hey, maybe I'm just getting better. - Yeah. - I have to get better. I'm running half a marathon in August. - I heard you, yeah, that's insane. - In August. - Yeah. - That's coming up really fast. - Yeah, yeah, I've been training. - How far have you run so far? - Yeah, for this run, you've done. - Two miles. - Okay, okay, so two miles of, what, 15? - Yeah, so I'm 13 something, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm increasing every day I'm running and I'm increasing it by 1/8 of a mile. - Well, how about this? - And so like the week leading up, I'm gonna run like eight miles every day. - Well, are you running outside? Are you running on like a treadmill in the gym? - Track. - Okay. - Okay, that's fine. But like, also another thing you can do is, can you run two miles right now without stopping? - Yes. - Okay, good. Now, yeah, now you increase, but it's all just about being able to do the next, like now you can do four miles without stopping. - Yeah, yeah. - And I can do that. That's how you have to build the stamina. - Yeah, that's what I'm just increasing. So the track I'm doing, it's, you know how most tracks are four laps for a mile? The track I'm doing is eight laps for a mile. So I'm just increasing it by one lap every day. - One of the rec centers? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You just go, you need to increase my more. - Yeah, more than an eighth. I need to increase it by a fourth every day. - Just try. - Well, by my calculations, by the time the half marathon comes, that whole week I'm gonna be running almost eight miles every day. - Okay, but also you need to tape her off for the, you need to have a day, a couple of days before. - Yeah, yeah. - If you're not running hard, you do is you have to do shorter runs 'cause you wanna, you need to conserve some of the energy. - What's the first you've run, Quinn, 'cause you've run a lot. - I'm trying to think like 10, 12 miles. - All right. - Dude, you should do the half marathon with us. - I did. - Well, it's the Provo Canyon. - I would love to do the Provo Canyon. - The craziest run I did, I think that I can remember it was like nine miles on like a six minute and nine second pace. - Oh, dang. - Yeah. - That's really good. - I'm taking back what I said though. I said I was gonna do it under two hours and I really thought that, yeah, like that's not. - Just finish it. I think it's a good goal. - Finish it, yeah, yeah. - I am shooting for two and a half. - Uh-huh. - I'm setting a goal. - Honest, dude, just, the fact that you could do it at all is gonna be cooler. Like, you're gonna care way more about that. - Yeah. - And like, you're like, 'cause towards the end of that, you're gonna be like, I don't, just, I see this be over. - Yeah. - And, oh, dude, I'm fucked. - All right. - Yeah. - Anyhoo, so we have Tanner here. Tanner, we already know you. You're part of the team. - Yeah. - So we wanna get to know you more. (laughing) - Yeah. - Like, you've, yeah, you saw the podcast was fun too. You've seen that sometimes the podcast takes different route. - Right, yeah. - You know, like, we don't need like, so anyways, wanna get no more about you? - No, I'm excited. - Yeah. - Wanna see how Oklahoma shaped you? - Yeah, I wanna see. And I was gonna ask, last time you said you hadn't said that in word, I was thinking maybe your in Oklahoma would change it. - Did not change. - No, did not change. - I don't, yeah. - You didn't become more racist at all? - No. - Okay. - He's the thing I learned about Oklahoma City. Most lesbian bars in the country. - Really? - Wow. - That makes sense, actually. The Gaborhood is great. - The Gaborhood. - Yeah, there's 39th Street is called the Gaborhood. And it's very well, like represented and well-run and whatnot. Great Pride Parade. - Yeah, I know. - Yeah. - The Pride events and like conservative states are way more fun. - I was surprised how like, diverse and welcoming Oklahoma City was towards the LGBTQ plus community as well. - Yeah, a lot of cities are, I mean, that's just like cities though. It's not like, you know, it's like-- - That's true. - People come to Salt Lake and they're like, what? - Yeah, people have that same Oklahoma City, they'll be like, oh, Salt Lake. And I was like, it's the same as you guys. - Yeah. - It's a liberal progressive city stuck in a deep red state. - And dude, I just saw an article about the Pride Parade that's happening this weekend in Idaho Falls. Oh, and that's gonna-- - You're gonna have probably stuck in new halls again? - Yeah, that's gonna be-- - Well, that was Cordellain. - Yeah, Cordellain is pretty messed up. - I like that. That was-- - My brother used to live there, it's a beautiful area. - Oh, yeah. - It's also where I feel the like safest and most welcome. 'Cause like, all I have to do is not wear this and I'm not threatened by anyone. - Well, also, Cordellain is not what it used to be. 'Cause all those people who got arrested from like Montana and Santa Tota, like some of them are locals. Growing up in the 90s, yeah, Cordellain, there was a Nazi compound on the lake. And since then, they're not welcome to there anymore. - Yeah. - And then I think per capita, Cordellain has to have like more gay bars than like really easy at. - Oh, thank you. - Cordellain's like very like cute, like tourist town on the lake. - Yeah, like Cordellain. - And it's beautiful. - And it's very like progressive, like small town. Like, there's so many like giant condos that are like 20 floors looking over the lake and just lots of people moved from like California and different parts of the country. So like most of the people in Cordellain now aren't even like from Idaho. - Yeah, that makes sense. - I think Montana's going through that too. Like my brother lives in Billings and people were not happy when he moved in. But then once they found out that we had relatives and ancestors from Montana, they're like, okay, you're cool. I gotta say, this is really fun. - Yeah. - This is really interesting. - Okay, let's step it back. - Like, I've just been over here laughing. - Okay, let's step it back to some fun in Oklahoma history. - I'm covering my mouth 'cause I'm like, I don't wanna interrupt 'cause I don't want the laughs to get in on the pot. - I'm sorry, we're just having a fun discussion on. - No, we can get into this. - Let's go back with racism. - We can get into the city. - I don't want them on racism. - Yeah, okay. - Oh, we can get into the city planning of Cordellain if you want. - Yeah. - I would be fine with that. Here's some fun history of Oklahoma City. - Okay. - Just south of Oklahoma City is a town called Moore, which is where Toby Keith is from. That is where one of the pilots of 9/11 got his license. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, nice. - That's cool. - Well, at least they got their license. - Hey, hey. - Yeah, at least they weren't flying without a license. - That would have been bad, right? - That would have been happening. I was like, are these guys even licensed? - I did. The University of Oklahoma was trying to warn us in like, you know, this whole time 'cause they were like boom or sooner. - That's right, yeah. (all laughing) - Yeah, exactly. - Shoot a member. - After a year and a half in OKC, big Josh Giddy fan. (all laughing) - Just, no? - No, no, you're not. - No. - How did we not see that coming with a name like Giddy though? You know, like with Giddy, you're like, come on. - Wait, wait, hold on. - He's gotta be getting in trouble. - I forgot now. I'm gonna be talking about the Gonzaga player. - Oh, no. - Oh, jeez. - And I was like-- - I was like, why are you so quick to be able to say no? - No, 'cause I like do not support this Gonzaga player. - No, I don't care for Gonzaga. - Exactly. - Yeah, exactly. - Giddy. - And he goes, "What?" - When that new story came out, I was just like, his name's Giddy. Of course, he's a pedophile. - You know what's really tragic though? Like, I understand why he moved back here 'cause Oklahoma has let go of General Booty. - Oh, did they really? - General Booty's no longer on the team. - Where's he going? - Where's he going? - I don't know where he went. - Oh, he's no longer on Oklahoma. - Well, hopefully somewhere where he can start 'cause we need the General Booty, man. - Yeah. - If you know they don't-- - That is, okay, wherever General Booty is transferring to, that's gonna be my Dynasty team for NCAA 25. - Oh, dude, NCAA 25 looks amazing. - Dude, I cannot wait. It's gonna be so fun. - Genuinely looks-- - Let's not talk about (burps) - Let's not talk about how I've already made plans for Greendale Community College human beings for my creative school for NCAA 25 video games till December, so. - No, you haven't. - Yeah, it's gonna be trying to focus. - Focus on what? You're half marathon? - Dude, we already talked about this a week or two ago. - We've talked about this already. - Where he's like, you'll go do like a 12-hour day work, come on, take pre-workout like nine o'clock at night and then go to the gym and then like, go gym, workout, come home, go to bed, wake up like three or four in the morning and then do it all again. I'm like, dude, this is not-- - Yeah, that's a-- - Oh yeah, dude. Well, after this podcast, I'm gonna go run two miles. - Jesus. - I have to wake up at four in the morning for work, so. - Who's gonna carry the boats? - I can hardly wake up at eight for my nine a.m. shift. - The thing is, so Amanda got really into David Goggins. - Mm, yeah, that guy. - God. - Hustle culture is the biggest bullshit in the world. - David Goggins isn't a hustle. - David Goggins is not a happy person. - He is, look at him, dude. He looks like he's, you've already died. - When you say hustle culture, I'm thinking of like an andro tape. - Yeah, but it's the same shit. - It's the version of it. - Yeah, if you had a grind. - Yeah. - You gotta abandon emotion. - Okay, well, it's all that matters is the fucking numbers. - Just get up. - Yeah, exactly. Keep pushing. - Okay, well, he doesn't. - Who the fuck are we impressing? - He's impressing numbers. He doesn't talk about it. - But was he mean? Me and Tanner coming out from different angles? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So I'm coming out this way. I hate him when we as a person. - Well, Tanner's coming at it 'cause he doesn't want to work out. - That's also true. (laughing) - Yeah, well, I also, so I made fun of him. - It just makes me feel guilty. - I made fun of my wife, like, terribly. I made fun of her a ton. And then I listened and I was like, it's kind of sick. But the thing is, the dude did all of his crazy shit before he was famous. It's not about trying to impress people 'cause it tends to be how famous people happen. It's famous for the thing. - Well, he's not trying. Yeah, but the other thing was like, he wasn't like the Andrew Tate shit where it's hustle, hustle, grind, do you like it? - No, it's not just the Andrew Tate. It's just like the culture of like all, that's the only way you can exist. - Yeah, yeah. - It's gotta be an output. - No, no, no, I agree with that. It's like, you can just work out. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can also take a nap and be happy. - Like, also like sometimes like, like you can't just always burn the candle at both ends of the stick, you know? - No, I agree with that. Anywho, so-- - This is also another way of like being like, why can't I have no time for this? - So Amanda got into David Goggins and I had to get ready for this half marathon 'cause I wasn't gonna do it. But your wife can only call you a pussy so many times before you're like fuck, I have to do it. - Yeah. - Ironically, it's kind of a pussy move. - Yeah. - Dude, you know what? I should just get fat as shit. - Yeah, that's actually, that's kinda sick. - That's the man I couldn't do. - I would respect that so much more. - It's a traditional American home. It's a fat-ass American dad. It doesn't give a shit, which we keep. - Amanda doesn't listen to the podcast. Do we like keep this a secret and just every episode I get fatter and fatter? - Yeah, it's great. I don't get to be cool, dude. But then ironically, like you just kind of set the lose way 'cause you start to finally feel free. Like, you know what, actually, I mean, I don't know, actually I eat a bit of time right now 'cause sometimes you eat to feel the void, you know, and now the void is good. - And then you just have a normal meal. - Oh, I can just have a normal meal. And then, you know, you're in a good head space and then all of a sudden you become good and whole and rich and you actually look like a real person, people wanna fuck. (laughing) - Instead of having to tape a picture of David Goggins over your face. - This is gonna be me two years, watch. (laughing) So anyway, it's cool, David Goggins got to you. - No, no, definitely. I've made fun of that guy relentlessly for the last two years. - You should be still. - Um, yeah, no, I think there's still some benefits of the idea of getting, being okay with uncomfortable things. That's what I'm, like, I'm not saying you wanna be, I'm like getting into him isn't like, oh, I'm gonna be this guy where I'm gonna be running 25 miles a day, that's insane. Like, trying to be like him or doing what he does is crazy. - I appreciate that. - There's good lessons learned in his book and it was mostly like, I tend to gravitate towards doing the most comfortable thing, which for me, that's plain FIFA 23. And I'm trying, well, no. - It's not even FIFA, this way. - It's FC 24. So I'm trying to do more uncomfortable things. - A quick what? A quick. - Someone was turning off the, Amanda is like, we should just sell it at this point. And I might sell my PlayStation. Also, we'll, NCAA is only coming out on PS5 and so, ES4. - So you might have to sell it. - Yeah, I might have to sell it. - Yeah. - So actually it's kind of a, it's actually a bit of a smart move when you're probably, we should sell it to investment. - Yeah, absolutely sell it. - Yeah. - Usually you do, you just set aside every paycheck, like 20 bucks, 20 bucks, 25 bucks. And then after a couple of paychecks, you're like, you just walk home with a PS5. - How much is a PS5 running for these? - The cheapest one, 400. - Well, stop that. - I mean, I'll just buy it. New York, you can find my Facebook marketplace, but yeah, 400 bucks. But that one doesn't have a disk drive. $500, this one has a disk drive. - Yeah. - I have a PS5. - Do you need the disk drive these days? I was like having the backup. - No, I mean, like it's just like, it's, it's, it's like, it's not, also the 500 dollar one has a bigger hard drive. So you don't have to buy bigger hard drive. - You can get an external hard drive. - That's what I have for my PS4. - Yeah, no, you absolutely can't, but there's, that's different on the PS5 and Xbox One 'cause the internal storage is so much faster than the external. - Oh, really? - And then some games don't even run unless they're on the internal storage. But like on the Xbox One, but you can still have them downloaded on your external storage. We have to transfer them to the internal for it to play. If it's a modern game. - Oh, it sounds like a downgrade. - Yeah, but old games can run off of the external. - Oh, really? - Also, graphically, the PS5 never wowed me. Like it never, like-- - Well, I play the Nintendo Switch, so any video you need to listen to better than that always loves me. - It looks pretty good. - It does look good, but from PS4 and PS5, I feel like graphically it's the lowest jump we've ever had. - It's incremental upgrades. I mean, obviously, but like the biggest thing nowadays is like frame rate and like fidelity. And so like, I mean, it's like what PC's all been all about forever. What's it gonna do play a game? It's like 120 FPS and then you, and like you just play that same game on PS4 and it's 30. - Yeah. - And then you feel like you're really in the stone age. So like right now it's all about frame rate. Anyways, fun stuff, ha ha, lab it. Say anyways, do you have any members of your family who are pedophiles? - No, I don't, at least not that I know of. - Yeah, you know what I mean. - Yeah, I doubt it. - What's your greatest accomplishment in life? - Oh, shit. Man, this is where I feel terrible 'cause I don't know. - What's something I was trying to make you feel, what's something you feel proud about? - Recently I opened for Salvo Connell. That was pretty cool. - He says it. - I sent out a tape to his agent and there's a few other comedians who sent out tapes and they watched and selected mine and had me open for him to do 30 minutes. - Dude, that's pretty cool. - How's it gonna be a theater agent? - They found me. So because I had been performing with the Bricktown Comedy Club, the agent was just like, "Hey, any comics you'd recommend?" And so I was just part of the batch that was recommended. - He seems like a nice guy. - Dude, he was way cool. I only got to talk to him for like three minutes 'cause he showed up right before the show and then did VIP stuff afterwards with the fans and stuff. But yeah, he was very nice, very kind. - Yeah, it was you walking that you were my opener? - Yeah, so my brother was mission companions with one of the producers of impractical jokers. So he's like, "Oh, that's awesome. "You know, Jake, man, that's pretty cool." - Anyways. - So yeah. - Did you ask him to like, "Let's put a French toast to fried potatoes." (laughing) - I hadn't watched this on that podcast yet. - I heard that they just killed it too. - It's over? - Yeah, because they can't like travel to meet each other and like, yeah. - There's some iconic clips from that though. - Yeah. - It sounds like he's going like red in the face, screaming about like grilled cheese. - Yeah, I remember there was an episode where it was like peanut butter and jelly versus grilled cheese, right? - And like, what's his name? Who's the other guy on that? - Grilled cheese, for sure. - Who's the other guy on it? - Oh, it's Krista Stefano, isn't it? - No, it's not. - That's, that's, hey, babe. - Oh. - No, uh, the- - Krista Lea. - I wish. - No, it's speaking of petals. - Anyway, who's the dude who fucked the transsexual girl at the Skankfest? - Oh! - Oh! - De Rosa. - De Rosa. - Yeah. - And he just can push anyone's buttons. - Uh-huh. - Anyways. - This salad is funny when you push this button, 'cause yeah, he gets super red. - Yeah. - The De Rosa thing, Skankfest was crazy. That was all everyone was talking about, 'cause that happened day one in like the first hour. - Were you there? - I wasn't. - They were- - They were like- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The Skankfest you were at. - Did you go to Skankfest? - Yeah, this last one, yeah. - No. - Oh. - Dude. - Yeah, no, no, I wasn't there. - I don't think so. - No. - You gotta play cool. You're like, I heard about this. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, no, I was just telling you. - I heard about the thing. - Anyways, it was, I may have performed there, but, you know, like, yeah, it doesn't be a big deal. Anyways, you don't like change my career, or anything. - Yeah, yeah, it definitely doesn't, but- - Dude, I thought the first festival I went to, I thought it was going to change my career. I had- - That's actually, that's so- - I had a script. - Four corners. - Four corners. - You got four corners? - I thought I was going to get an agent out of that. I had a movie script ready to pitch. (laughing) - What? - I thought- - What was the movie script? - It was intramural. It was the one about intramural flag football at a small college. - Oh, wait, when we did a table read for her? - Yes, we did do a table read for that one. - Yeah, and the first draft was even worse. - Oh, well, I bring that back. - Yeah, I know. - I wanna rewrite it. - Yeah. - I still have, like, I still like it, but definitely after the table read, I was like, ooh, I'm glad I'm hearing this out loud. (laughing) - It's different. You know, what's like, I know someone who is telling me that like, sometimes they take like days off of going to open mics so they can just stay home, right? And I'm like, that's cool. But you know, it's more important than that, getting on the stage. - Yeah. - 'Cause you could-- - Shadow entrees. - Shadow, it drew. (laughing) And sometimes, 'cause sometimes you can write something down, you're like, that's funny. And then you open your mouth and you go, "Yeah, it's actually stupid as fuck." - Yeah, so-- - Yeah. - The four corners though, but like, I thought I'd get an agent, I had a movie ready. The first night we're there, we go to an open mic. So the festival hasn't even started yet. We go to an open mic and we all killed. It was Mia's Joe Holt, it was Georgina. I can't remember her last name now. Plus she just got married, so it's different anyways. - Yeah, I don't know. - Anyways, it was all three of us and we all killed at this open mic and I was like, "Oh, we're gonna run this town." And then the festival started, we went to the first one and the host was just so uncomfortable. And awkward night I was like, "Oh, who didn't they invite to this festival?" And as it just slowly got worse from there and then I went up on a Saturday afternoon to an empty theater of like, there's maybe 12 people, three of whom might've been not comics, spread out in a theater. Everyone knows how spread theater is just the funniest place. - Also that theater seats at that college. - Yeah, no, it was a different theater than where we went to. - The one at that college seats 600. - Yeah. - There was like, I remember for, I don't know for you, but yeah, you guys went in the morning, at the 12 people. - Yeah, I didn't have a 600 seat theater. At least I got to perform twice at that festival. This one was only once. I went out on a Saturday afternoon. No one was there. And the train behind me kept interrupting the set because I was picking up people and going around. It was just awful. So I had to drive home, I was like, I thought this was gonna be the start of my career. - Well, I think there's a lot of comedy festivals. Oh yeah, just scam. - Oh, one hundred years. Like dude, it's $50 to watch your take. - So the person who ran that festival went to Skankfest to the open mic on Kill Tony. And it's one of the worst bombs that you can watch on Kill. It's the most uncomfortable thing you can watch. - Oh my God. - Yeah, the trick who ran the whole four corners festival, Amanda and I run into her the first day at Skankfest and she's like, what is this? Like this is a real comedy festival. This is like, dude. - Oh my God. - And Amanda and I were like, nice. We're like, yeah, yeah, this is crazy. Like it was like, it was like big Jay shoved a gun up, Luce's ass and she like, that's not comedy. - That's not comedy, you know. - It's not funny at all. - And then she, what's funny about that? So then the last day of the festival, it's Kill Tony and she signs up, bombs harder than anyone ever. She gets aggressive with like Tony and the Legion of Skanks. - Oh my God. - It's one of those, I mean, if you love a train wreck, it's awesome to watch it after this episode. - It's pretty uncomfortable to a bit of a train wreck. - Like it sometimes it can be a little much, but I'm. - Right. - No, I have to see it. - But it's the reason you watch Kill Tony is like. - Well, I can't even watch Kill Tony all the time because of that. - Yeah. - Also 'cause sometimes Tony, I'm like, it just seems a little too mean. - Oh, yeah, he's definitely, you know. - That's why like whenever like Dr. Phil was on, I watch 'cause I'm like, oh, Adam, right, it's so fun. - 'Cause he makes it silly. - Yeah. - And then it like makes Tony happier and then everything's better. - So it's an Oklahoma City. - I love Sam Talon. - From living in Oklahoma City, there's a lot of Austin comedians who come up for the weekend or something. You'll do shows with them. And this one Austin comics like, yeah, Tony Hinchcliffe's kind of an asshole. And I was like, I don't think that's a surprise to anyone here. - No. - No, and I don't think anyone's, I'm more surprised you thought he wouldn't be. - Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's like, whoa, he's weak. He's also, yeah, the dude who has a license plate that says I roast and is like, does he really? - Yes, on his Corvette. And then he also like, the outfits he wore. I mean, I think, of course he's angry. Like, I just has no world why I believe he's 100% straight. - Oh no, not at all. - There's just no world where I can see that. - This is the problem. So I take people like face value for what they say. - That's not good. - And so like he says he is. And so Amanda and I get in these arguments where I'm like, no, he is. He says he's straight. And Amanda all the time is like, there's no way he's straight like at all. - I want to say Drew is a judge. Now he's like, did you do it? No, Jason's like, no. - No, all right, well, you know what? He said no. - I don't know what to tell you guys. - Sorry, like, no, it is like, I know what you mean 'cause sometimes I can fall into that where I come all like, why not? But then like, I don't know, it's funnier to live in that world though. Just to be like, well, they said it. The government said everything's fine. - Yeah. - The government said there was WMDs so it has to be. - Yeah, it has to be. - Yeah. - Yeah, we had to kill a million of them. - They're still there. - They're still somewhere. - I will say the, yeah, the lady who booked the Four Corners Festival after that kill Tony appearance. 'Cause on my bio that I was on the Skankfest website, I like put that I did the Four Corners Festival, and immediately I deleted that from my bio. (laughing) - Yeah, I did, it's nothing. Like no one even knows what it is. - Yeah, no. - Like no one, I think barely even people from the states that are the Four Corners even are aware about the Four Corners. - No. - 'Cause it's the dumbest thing to be like, "Where's Four States that touch?" - Dude, the crazy thing is being there and being like, "Oh, this guy's from Atlanta. "This other comedian is from Florida." Like, why did you come to this? No, 'cause it's exactly-- - It's a good networking opportunity, but it's not. - It's exactly what you're thinking though, in your head you're like, "Oh, find the right person." And they'll open the right door. And they're like, "It's good for networking," which I hate that term 'cause it's like, you're not like viewing someone as a person. You're like, "You're an opportunity." - Yeah. - And you're gonna help me. And it's just like, I don't know, it's just so many of these comedy festivals that happen that I'm like, "I don't hear anything about it. "Nothing happens from them." - Yeah. - I don't know. Also, I also say this 'cause I just don't want to pay money to submit anything. So I'm just gonna assume that none of them are good. - Well, you can tell by their headliners, but usually you don't know who the headliners are until after submissions are done. - Yeah. I don't know. - It's also projecting a bit big. I just don't sign up for it. - Yeah. Well, they cost so much money to submit too. - But then I have to fly out there. - Yeah. - I'm betting them, yeah. If they don't pay for like, accommodations, or like travel or subsidized travel, at least a little bit, it's a scam. - Yeah. - And so like now, like, if I'm going to apply for some, I'm making sure they pay for at least-- - There is a summer where I applied for as many as I could and I lost so much money on it 'cause I went to the Sacktown Comedy Get Done Festival, which that one is a pretty legit festival. Now that I've been to a few, that one was pretty legit. Shout out to Sackler, they're cool. Portland, Maine was awesome, but just unorganized. But they had a lot of cool comics and like some good headliners and stuff, just there was no communication for any of the comics. And then I did four corners that same year, and then I was supposed to do Dunlap, Iowa, but I had to drop out because I was like, I can't keep going to all these places. I would make so much money. - Do all those ones make you pay for like your hotel and exhibitions and stuff? - No, I think is honestly a better option. Just go to a city like Portland. 'Cause I saw this all the time. Someone just hops in the Facebook group and says, "Hey, I'm a comic from this place. "I'm just gonna be visiting for the weekend. "I think I can hop on any shows." They always got on shows. You just stay in the town, and then you just hit all the mics. You do some shows, and then you get to know a lot of the comics in the town, and then you meet people hanging out. And I'm like, I feel like that is like better. - It's a million times better. - It's like, you're actually getting to see what these other scenes are like, and then get to actually hang out with comics and do local shows. Like I'm like, that seemed to just like, 'cause that's the whole thing you want to do. The Comedy Festival to do a show. - Yeah, yeah. - And then like, I don't know. So I was like, come to this Comedy Festival. Who's there? Like no one you know. - Oh, yeah. - I would not go to that. - Yeah. - I don't know. - No, there's so many of them that, I didn't know that there were festivals that were scams till I went to the Four Corners one. And then like after the first day, 'cause like my first show was in a bar. - Oh, perfect. Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - And the Festivals at Bar Show. - The comedian stands at the front door of the bar. - Perfect. - Like right at the front, the audience like in the back. By the time I went up, there was nobody who wasn't a comic on the show. - Perfect. - No, I did. - Yeah, I told you guys. - I did comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. - Oh, that's right. - The two shows just 'cause, I was like, I have to see the stand-up here. So I went to like a random stand-up show. It's crazy. It was like beneath the castle. - Yeah. - Like, it's crazy going there. I just walked the show and afterwards, I just talked to the host. Like, oh, I just stand up. It's like going to five minutes tomorrow. I was like, sure. And like, most nervous have ever been before I went up 'cause like just like, it's already weird doing this. - It's already weird. What's already weird doing stand-up in another state, doing it in another country. - Yeah. - Like, and you're so aware of how American you sound. (laughing) 'Cause everyone sounds so, like they just sound so cool 'cause like every word they say, you're like, that's awesome. - Yeah. - And then you get up there, you're like, what's happening, guys? (laughing) And you're like, but it was fun. But like, also like some of the worst stand-up I've ever seen. - Yeah. I haven't ever said that. - Yeah, and I've said this before, but this one girl, we just like, 'cause like, there's just people on the street promoting their shows like we ran into, who's that guy? I don't know, it's New York comic. They're, uh. - I know who you're talking about. - No, I'm coming from here. - I'm coming from her name, but like, you know who he is. Like, I just like happened to run into him. He looked fucking exhausted. - Really? - I was like, what's up, man? He's like, just, 'cause they have to like 30 days in a row. He's like, just. - Long show, we ran into this like, weird like Norwegian girl or no German girl. She's like, yeah, I have a show, come see it, or like, we kind of befriended her, but it was like, okay. And she did like a 45 minute show and like a fucking like, just like broom closet. And like, it, I mean, it was fucking horrible. It was so bad. But like, you're locked, it was like a stand up storytelling. They're all about storytelling in the UK. So it's like, in the Europe, I don't know, it's like, we're like locked in there though. - 'Cause like, they got big through the Edinburgh. - So like, there are some big names that go through there. - Boy, but he's great, he's great. So like, yeah, there's exceptions. - There's great comics there, but like, beneath them? - Yeah. - Bad. - Yeah. - And. - Not enough, they just let everyone in. - Well, this is cool. Yeah, you can, it's essentially like off Broadway. You can do that shit there where it's like, it's like, you're not officially in the fringe festival, but you can do-- - Oh, gotcha. - You can just go there and do shows. - Yeah. - And so yeah, it's cool. It's like, the room's so small. Like, I want to leave five minutes in. But I'm like, I can't. I don't want to make her feel bad. So I just sat and watched the whole thing. - Should we do the fringe festival this year? The Salt Lake one? - Oh. - Well, we did it last year. - I didn't. - It'd be three other guys. - Happy Valley put a show on for the fringe last year. - Oh, did they really, how was that? - Oh yeah, you were in Portland, that's why you did it. It was terrible. - Yeah. - Yeah, there was like, six people. I did a play for the fringe festival one year. - Oh, yeah? - It was a buddy I met, I didn't prove Broadway wrote it. It was a fun play, but like, yeah, there's hardly anyone showed up, and I was always uncomfortable when I do that. Um, yeah. - So what's your guess's favorite accent to do? Ooh. - Accent? - Yeah. - I'm up doing an Irish accent. - I can't do accents. Irish always for me turns into like Australian. - Do it. - So Irish, so like everyone give it up for Cun Dijkstra. - I mean, you're already doing Scottish. - Scottish. - You can see that's my problem. - It's got to drive the back. - Oh, yeah, okay. - You'd be like, why do you want to go down to the farm? - You want to go down to the farm? - You go a little better. We're going to have a farm and go, uh, the cracks could like. - Cracks could like. - Yeah, like, like, I couldn't, you know, with the seconds. - The cracks could like. - Dude. - That's the other problem when I do Irish, I just get a little bush to cut out there for you. - You're going like fucking cartoon character. - Yeah. (laughing) - I really want to hear you doing Irish accent. - Oh, dude. - What do you do, actually, I'll give you this. - Do you actually give us an Irish phrase? - Yeah. - Any accent. - Dude. - I don't think I've ever heard you do any accent. - That's a good point. - Why can't? - Try. - I want to go down to the farm. - Give them, give them an accent and give them a phrase. - Oh, wait, what do you think would be easier for your Irish, British? - What's a British? - British is easier, yeah. - Order, just order. - Finishing chips. - Yeah, with the cola. - Oh, dude. - Yeah, this is going to be so bad. - Oh, you get some fish and chips. (laughing) - Boy, breath. - I mean, I don't even know where you're at right now. You're just like in the middle. You're going to get Welsh right now. - Well, all right, fish and chips. (laughing) Dude, that was good. - I like that, yeah. - Dude, be like, say, how would ask for a cigarette? - Do you have a fag? - Hey! - Hey, how bad? - I don't know when you want to forget. - That one goes. - You just have to open the door. - You have to open the door for you. - What are like British slurs? That's what I'm trying to think of now. - What? - Puff. - What is that for a gay person? - Yeah, it's like essentially their version of fag. - Yeah. - Yeah. (speaking in foreign language) - Piss means it's a lot harsher out there. - Yeah, I know like piss off is like, - Fanny pack, really? - It's like, well, I don't think-- - I love, yeah, I did hear Fanny's a bad word, which makes me giggle, 'cause Fanny hears. - Oh, it's your Fanny. - It's such a funny word. - But yeah, so I kind of like, I lost a lot of respect for England. - Really? - They just go there. - Yeah. - You know, just be like, yep, this sucks. Yeah, London's all you got. - I heard the food's terrible. The best food there is like Indian food. - Yeah, that's what I've heard. I've heard like, you want to go for like the Caribbean stuff. - What's the one thing you like, what-- - I didn't want to go for the Indian food. - Do my-- - It's in the same way that like American Mexican food is different than Mexico, Mexican food too though. - Dude, my dad pointed this out. He's like, name a British restaurant in America. - Yeah. - That's a-- - Great. - What's the British thing we got here? - Fish and chips, that's really-- - What do we do right? - We don't even do right. The fish and chips out there is good. The best fish and chips I've had was in Ireland. - What, how does Britain do it differently? - I don't know, it just tasted better in Ireland. Ireland. - Fair enough. - I mean, Ireland has great-- - I assume? - Great corn to be a food and-- - It's actually pretty good. - Yeah. - 'Cause like all the burgers you have, all the beef, it's all Irish beef. So it's like, they're foods. - They're foods pretty good. - Who's the comedian who's like, I refuse to believe England went over and fought so many people just for spices to never use. - It's probably-- - Sounds like a Hassen bit. - I don't know, well, I don't know, probably-- - I mean, I butchered it, but-- - Well, he probably was lying. - Yeah. - So, here's a fun question. - Okay. - What's a guilty pleasure song? - Oh, yeah. - Oh, I like that. - That's great. It's hard to say 'cause like, I don't feel guilty for anything I listen to. - What does, come on, you know what we're getting at. - You know what we're getting at. - Okay, my girlfriend's really turned me on to Chappell Rhone. - I like Chappell Rhone. - She's like, she's a guilty pleasure. - She's a guilty, I have to go all the time, dude. All the time, I'm like, angel, T-T-O-G-O. - 'Cause you're just fucking, you're just fucking-- - But I'm not embarrassed to listen to it. - Why do you say that? 'Cause you're nervous, you're nervous, that she's a lesbian. - No, I'm not, I'm trying to think of something that is embarrassing to me. - You don't? - I don't know. - Do you like, do you like, imagine dragons? - No, I'm not an imagine, like-- - Do you like, do you like, like-- - I still, I probably like listening to all the like, the old dashboard confessional and like, emo stuff that is way more problematic. - But he was sick. - I love emo. - He was sick. - See, this is my problem, though. I was like, that stuff is like, the-- - I want to answer. - Oh my god, I was in high school. - I know, I know. - Like, unk. - Unk? - Yeah. - Who? - You don't remember "Unk" from like 2005, Drew? - No, we live a different life. (laughing) - Come on, you know what's fun is sometimes I'll look up metal covers of "Blue E." (laughing) - Okay. - Okay. - It's not like on a bird's pipe, but that's definitely a weird one. - We do like genuinely listen to it. - Yeah, sometimes I'll genuinely like-- - Throw that on. - Yeah. - And be like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. - Okay. - We're getting somewhere. - Yeah. - Do you ever like, like, you know, casually, just like, you know what, it's time for some Mormon tab. - Oh, um, not Mormon tab, but, uh, you know what? Yeah, every now and then I'll sing like, a "Bide With Me" to even type to myself. - I know that. - Yeah, yeah. - Every now and then I, if I'm a little stressed out, I'll be like, "Uh, bye." - Did him so never leave you. - With me, 'cause even Ty. (laughing) - I know, okay. - I love that song. I'm like, all right. - That was a sufficient answer. - You know what's new? - Actually, there is one, you know what, they always released like the Mormon tab albums where they have like a, like an actual singer coming in. - Oh, yeah. - They'd be like their background singers. - Yeah. - They're just like, well shopped for a singer dude coming and like, he sings like, like, they did, all the songs are just sick. - Uh-huh. - 'Cause he's carrying it. Also, did James Taylor do it, that's pretty cool. - James Taylor did the Motown. - James Taylor did it when saying with the, now we're in tab, we're at Aqua Choir. - Really? - Yeah. - That's a mom's wet dream. - That was gonna say my girlfriend loves James Taylor, so I'll have to play that for her. - Shout out to Justin Timberlake by the way you guys do. - Dude. - I heard it, I heard it part of the incident. He was like, this is gonna ruin my turn. I was like, well maybe you shouldn't have driven drunk, Justin. - Yeah, but I'll see. - You're rich enough to afford. - Did you see what they found on his bloodstream? - No. - Poppers. - Ooh. - What is that? - Poppers. - That loosens your eye. - Well, it's a, it's a stereotypically classic, kind of like a... - A gay drug, right? - A gay drug. It's like, it's kind of like your Huff and glue. It's like, it's in this little bottle and you unscrew it and you just like, you sniff it. And it's like, you can smell it immediately when like it really has it around you. And it's super fun. It lasts for like 30 seconds. - Like, weapons? - Kind of, it kind of like feels like you're kind of like, okay, it's like a weird headline. - You might understand it, right? It helps loosen your bung holes. - Apparently, yeah. - So that was pretty loose in your butt hole. But it's always just fun to do like in the crowd. 'Cause I have it. I have it in my house right now. - Oh, there we go. - And it's like, it's fun. So like, anyway, so he has poppers. - That's funny. - Shout out to Justin Himble. - Yeah. - Shout out. - Guy knows how to party. - Yeah, dude. - Great music to them. - I love Suun Ta. - I love Suun Ta. - Yeah. - 2020 experience. - Such a good album. - I love that album. - That whole album. - And... - Chime in Drew. - Yeah. Second part to... - You know, "Unk" though. - Yeah. - You know, it's crazy. Don't act like a bad thing to fall in love. That song. If you took out the swear words, it's such a like Disney-ready song. - Well, yeah. I mean, he's, yeah. He's almost there. - That's true. - That's a great one. Strawberry Bubble Gum. - Body count. Strawberry Bubble Gum is amazing. - Strawberry Bubble Gum is amazing. - Yeah. - Also, I've heard that new guy, like Tommy, never mind, but this is, we can't get into this music. - Yeah. - TikTok shit. Let's just talk about, you know, Drew, what's a good pleasure for you. - Yeah. - You know. - Cool. - Right now. - Definitely. I've been watching. Well, listening, 'cause it's while I'm driving truck, I can't watch anything, but I listen. - Music. - Music. - Music. Guilty pleasure music. Oh, I'm really into like this Appalachian folk music right now. - Hell yeah. - Dude, yeah. - Some, maybe some of these things you shouldn't sail out. - Yeah. - You said that last time I mentioned it. - Do you listen to the soundtrack of October Sky? Just, it's slow down, Appalachian music. - Well, yeah, I know that, I don't, no, I like, I like real Appalachian. Yeah. - God. - Dude, dude. - Someone else. - I like that real in sales. - Yeah. Dude, let me, let me. The history of those Appalachian music is, right? It dates back to like, 15th, 16th century Europe in England, is these people, when they were getting hung for their crimes, would give their last confession so that they'd make right with God before they were killed. And then these songwriters would write down their confessions and then turn them into songs and sell them as songs, which is why so many like, old Appalachian and Tennessee country songs that people like, and then I pushed her into a river and watched her die. - That's pretty, that's kind of cool, actually. - Here, listen to just the first five seconds of this. - So you just, you're just, you're just, you're just DOT certified, find down the freeway. - Yeah. - The tooth picking. - Have you ever played convoy while driving a new truck? - No, I, oh, you gotta do that. Yeah, I gotta. - How about this? - Okay, music, guilty pleasure, comedian, right now. - Ooh, that's a good one. - Oh, it's your first, give me the day of my truck. I listened to the whole Green Go Poppy. - I mean, it's like 23 minutes, right? - Yeah, it's not long. - I've seen it. - Yeah. - Well, I've never, today it dawned on me, I've never seen it all the way through, beginning to end, and I'm like, well, I'm driving up, nothing else to do. So yeah, I did it. - And what was it? - Dude, it was pretty, it was great. It's actually a masterpiece, I think, not for the reason, like, he thought it was, but it's. - I mean, you can't just say it's not iconic, dude, it's incredible. - Like, there's not a lot of specials that are iconic. - That's a good point. - That's a good point. - And you just immediately go, "Green Go Poppy's a punchline." - Oh, yeah. - Like, it's what, I think, Louis J. Goma's ends as special by mentioning it, you know? - Ironically, though, Dave Smith's might be worse than "Green Go Poppy," who's my Dave Smith? - I'll think I've seen that one. - I've heard of it. - It's, he put it out, like, a year ago, and it's, I was getting excited for it. - I was excited, too, because of it, I saw it. - I saw him, and comedy is such a different experience live, too. And so, like, we saw him at Skankfest, we're like, "Oh, he's actually not bad." Like, he's a good comedian, like, because the joke is, like, "Dave Smith's the least funny in all the Skank's." And so, I was like, "Oh, do you have any of the specials going to be good, because we saw him at Skankfest." - Mm-hmm. - And it was so bad. - Well, I get confused, too, because he's smart, and he's like, he can say some really funny shit on the podcast. - Oh, yeah. - And I'm like, that's why-- - He's so funny. - I just was confused, because I was like, "I feel like you're better than this." - Well, there's a few comedians I feel like there's that. There's some comedians where I'll never listen to their specials, but if they're on a podcast, I'll listen almost every time. - Well, that's how I feel sometimes about Tim Dillon. I didn't love his Netflix. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, he's like, I've seen him live, the first time I saw live, he was great. - Oh, yeah. - And then, the second time it wasn't bad, but, yeah, I kid him, like, he has to get in a good rant, and then it's good, but honestly, I haven't really listened to him a lot recently. - Really? - I'll say it clips here or there. Also, I don't get to listen to podcasts much anymore. - Oh, yeah. - That's all I was like, "I listened to Tim Dillon last week." - Yeah, well, it was all like his Patreon. - Yeah. - They go listen to everything, and then now, I don't know, like, ever since you kind of really started getting big, it hasn't been quite the same. - Yeah. - But anyways, guilty pleasure though. Do you have one, Tanner? - The first, like, gut instinct is Dane Cook. I'll still listen to Dane Cook every now and then. - Yeah, I did listen to his latest special, because I haven't heard his songs. - I was like, "I have to know what he's doing now." - Very good. - I mean, there's an interesting story he tells about this stalker he had, but, like, you know, it's just Dane Cook, and then the whole time, I think at one point, he really shout out to his wife, and then that's when I remembered that, you know, he's 25 years younger. - Yeah. - He's 25 years younger. - Yeah. - He's younger than him. - Yeah. - He's younger than him. - Yeah. - And they started dating when she was 18, and they definitely knew her before that. - Yeah. - And I just think that's cool. - Yeah. - They do double dates together. - They do double dates together. - I ironically probably don't think so. - Yeah. - Really? Don't think so. - I think he independently. - Oh, look, I don't think... I don't think those people hang out. They're not really... - They're not... - They don't really have a group. - They're like drug dealers. They're like, "Hey, this is my territory." - Hey, new tip. - New tip. - For you. - Yeah. - No, they're rogue. - They are lone wolves. - Yeah. - That's... - I will say, I have seen some clips from Chris to Lee's new special, and pretty much these are how all the clips I've seen go. And he just goes, "Why was I canceled?" [laughter] - I think you can find it on YouTube, but when they talk about how you can just screenshot Snapchats, and his face is like, "Oh, yeah, it's the best face I've ever seen." - Dude, I'm trying to think who's a guilty pleasure for me right now, comedian-wise. I don't know. It was those Chris to Lee clips. Those are fun. - Those are fun. - I don't know, man. It's a fun world. I feel like I need to see Nanette. I still haven't seen it. - Yeah. - Ooh. - I haven't watched that one either. - I tried to get through it. - Mm-hmm. - 'Cause she got a second one recently. - Well, a third one. - What she did, because it was a first-show case. - Well, the first one did so well, 'cause she was like, "I'm quitting comedy." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And the first one did so well, she got to go on tour and make money, and she's like, "Well." [laughter] - I guess I won't quit. - Hold on. - Yeah. - I guess I won't quit. - The last album. - Yeah. - His last album. - Yeah. - His last album. - No. - And he's like, "Yep, it's going to be the last one." And then he was like, "No, it's my last of the Young Sinatra album." - Yeah. Also, when the logic says the N word, I'm like, "You shouldn't say that." - Yeah. - I know it's like half-black, but I'm like, "It just does not." - You look too much like Splins. - It's like a Russell Wilson. - Yeah. - Russell. - Oh, I think it meant Russell Westbrook, and I was like, "What a Russell Westbrook could say." - What's a Westbrook, I think it definitely is Russell Wilson. - Russell Wilson. - Russell Westbrook, I can't, every time I see him, I'm like, "There's no way this guy's not an internal." - My favorite Russell Wilson thing was two years ago when he joined the Broncos and bought that ridiculous house. There's a whole TikTok channel devoted to just seeing if he could finally surpass the number of bathrooms with touchdowns, and it took him most of the season. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. It's funny. - Dude, going back to Hannah Gatsby, so they gave her, she got to showcase her favorite comedians on a recent Netflix special, where she went up, just did like five to ten minutes, and then she brings on multiple comedians who each do ten minutes themselves, and none of them are more than open mikers. And they're on Netflix. - Oh my God. - There we go. - Crazy. - Dude, that's actually... - That's actually like... - Kind of evil. - Yeah. - It's actually like... - 'Cause it's like, as an open miker, you should say no, and then no, I'm not ready for this. - Well, they're not gonna say no. - I would jump on that, and I'm not ready for Netflix, but I would do it. - No, because I knew it. - I was ready at one year end. - Yeah. - Like, that is such a slap in the face to be like, "Hey, we're just gonna show you off to the world, and you're just gonna eat it," and everyone's like, "It's so..." I don't know what the fuck I was even saying one year end, and I still should have been Netflix special. - Wait, no. - Yeah, but... - I mean, there's a lot of people making YouTube specials, and you're like, "Ah, should you be doing a YouTube special? Should you really be doing this right now?" - I mean, it's a lot of... If it does, it's just... But hey. - I don't know. I used to be critical of that, and then I realized those comedians are getting booked and getting shows, so... - It's like, "Hey, live your life, you're already on your own behalf?" - Yeah. - Well, do you think? But also, like, I don't know. It's like... I feel like I'm like... You should have a little self-awareness of like, "Yeah, I don't... I don't know. I don't know if this is..." - Well, Rodney told me last week that... - A few years back there was a guy that would have been doing Sam for six months and tried America's Got Talent, used his best three minutes and made it past the first round, and then came to Rodney and was like, "Dude, you got to help me right because I got to do the next round of America's Got Talent." - Who was this? - I don't know who. He told me the name I forgot, and he told the guy, he's like, "Hey, you come off like Emo Phillips. Like, you need to stop." And the guy was like, "I never heard of Emo Phillips." And Rodney was like, "You better learn who he is because is there anything you hear?" And he's like, "Yeah, you're like the tenth person to say that I remind them of Emo Phillips." And any who, the guy somehow made it past the second round. - Wow. - Like, Rodney helped him with his jokes, and then after that fizzled out, but with the America's Got Talent credit, it was like, "Well, I'm a headliner now." - Oh my God. - He had a solid 15, but couldn't fill 45 minutes. And so after like the fifth or sixth club, he stunked it up. All the clubs like start calling each other and like, "Don't book this guy." - Well, that's the thing, he couldn't even get a draw for crowd, though, with the America's Got Talent name? - Well, he could get a draw, but he bombed so hard, all the clubs were like, "Dang, dude, don't--" - Because people were well. - You had to be bad because some people were asking for refunds. - Oh, okay, okay. That's too bad with the money I was in now. - I was gonna say, there had to be something there because as long as they're getting tickets sold, they don't care. - I feel bad sometimes with some of these comics who they get success really fast, and they have 15 minutes, and then they have a huge TikTok clips, whatever, and then they have to go and be like, "Oh, no, you're gonna get booked for an hour." And then it's just like baptism by fire, and it's like, I don't know, because I always heard when I got into this, it takes like 10 years to get good at this. - Yeah, and then it takes like 10 years to get your first hour. - Yeah, just to kind of figure, it's like so much, I don't even know what I'm fucking doing. - Yeah. - It's like, it just feels like you're just like, "This will try this." And then like, you do like 20 minutes, and you're like, "I'm just gonna string this together," and then like, but like, I don't know, it's so fucking confusing, this whole thing. Like, it's not like, this like, set path of like, "Do this, then that." And then all of a sudden it all, then you have 45 minutes. - Well, that's the thing is, I remember watching this guy do like a, it was like a clip from a masterclass, and this guy was asking Steve Martin, like what you need to do to go pro, and I was like, "Don't us Steve Martin," he figured it out in the 60s. - What's different? - It's a completely, he can do it anymore. - He could be honest with you, and tell you, he can tell you everything he did, and it would not be relevant today. - No, it's like, I mean, I would trust someone how to be funny, but like, do like, the people who do like, the comedy classes, never really commit to this. - Shout out, I did it, but. - Like, does that was how you started? - No, no, and I did it just because I like the guy who was teaching it. - That's what I mean, it's like, like, the, more what I mean, it's like the people who like, before they even go to open mic, they take it to take a class. - You sign up for the class. - Because it's like, that's like, there's like a different kind of drive when you're like, "I'm just gonna go to this open mic." - Yeah. - And then just keep going. And I was like, they're free. - Well, that's the thing that bothered me is when I did the comedy class, and then I had to go to all the mics on, and no one from my class was there, and I was like, "Guys." - Like, well, I did it. This is where we practice, like, this is where you actually figure out if it's funny or not. - There's a lot of people who were signed up for the class, they just wanted to check off, like, doing a stamp of comedy on their pocket. - Yeah, like, I tried it, and then it's like, also, it's like, like, now you're getting into the real, like, grit of it, which is like, "No, like, now it's like, you gotta go and eat shit all the time, and then slowly make friends, and then, but then, like, that's the cool part, is like, it's a weird journey of, like, trying shit out, like, this kind of work. Maybe I'll go down this direction." - In every now and then, you'll have a really good set, and you're like, "Oh, I got it figured out, and then you have 10 bad ones after that, and you're like, "Have I ever been funny?" - Well, it's like, it's crazy how the bar moves, too, like, you look back at the beginning of, like, when you started, like, just getting, like, one kind of good laugh, you're like, "I did amazing, dude." - Yeah. - And then now, if you only get, like, one laugh in, like, three minutes, you're like, "I fucking suck." - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, there are days I'd miss us performing for four people at Comedy Sports, and then celebrating at Chili's afterwards. - You're like, "Hey, there wasn't all bad." - Yeah. - You'd be like, "Hey, we got some laughs out of there, man. Not bad." - Yeah. - I have, like, the first, like, five sets I ever did on my phone, and sometimes I'll play them, and, like, the ones that I thought were good, and I'm like, "I don't know how that carried me." I mean, you have to be a little crazy to be like, "No, it's going good." - Yeah. - Yeah. - But, like, I don't know. Like, for me, I think for me, the main thing was like, "Well, if I quit, I'll never get better." - Yeah. - And then I was like, "Well, I can do that." - Mike Trabiglia has a great quote about starting out Comedy, where he was like, "You have to be kind of an idiot, and eat shit, but tell yourself, actually, it's going quite well." - I mean, I know what the guy ever was like, "It's going well," but I was like, like... - But we were having fun. - Yeah, any moment we get a bit of a laugh, you're like, "All right." - Yeah. - No, it is fucking wild, but anyways, so yeah, dude, you're back from Oklahoma. You're here. Yeah. So what are you most excited about kind of being back in Utah? - Oh, I'm excited to just be around you guys again, and, like, honestly, that was a big part of it is, before I got laid off at my last job, I was, like, really homesick for Utah. I was homesick. Like, I kept seeing you guys do all these shows, and I wasn't really getting invited to a whole lot of local shows in Oklahoma, so that sucked, but also I was away from family. And like, the mountains made a big difference, apparently. - Dude, isn't it crazy? - Yeah. - It's like, everyone I know from Utah, when you leave, it's like, it's one of the biggest things people talk about. - You wouldn't think it is, but... - Because it's just such a part of your life. - It's unnassive. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - It sounds crazy, but like, it's so real. Everywhere you go, you see 'em, you know what season it is. You know what direction you're going in, you know, like where you are. - The direction is the biggest part, like, I always know where East is if I can find town. - No, no, you find town. Even if you go to Salt Lake, it's just so easy. - Yeah. - When I was north, this East is west. - But like, it's... - Yeah, I don't know the specific mountains in Salt Lake, but yeah, you know where the wasps have changes. - It's not hard, 'cause it's in Salt Lake, it's like, where's the Salt Lake? - Yeah. - And if you're looking, like, it's not hard. - Yeah. - Plus, the grid system makes it easy in Salt Lake City, too. - Dude, shout out to the Pioneer. - That's right. - Yeah. - Joe Smith was ahead of his time. You know, they had shafts or elevators already before the technology was... - Look at that. - ...invented. - Look at that. I watched a whole video about the grid system in Salt Lake. - Did you? - Yeah. - Biggest city blocks, I think, in the world. - Really? - Or in, like, downtown Salt Lake. They're gigantic. - Mm, yeah. - Makes sense. Super wide streets. Part of that was like... I mean, there was this Miss Plan, so they carried that out, but, like, part of that was because, like... - New York City was doing it, too, though, right? - They're not as big as these blocks, and, like, the streets are so huge, but I guess one of the reasons the streets are so big was you forget, like, back in the day, there was a lot more fires. - Oh, yeah. - And so, having a wider street, the fire can't jump to another building as easily, you know, like, I never would have ever thought about that. And then also, you know, like, you know, that was the plan, just as Smith wanted. - Yeah. - And so then, like, all the streets start at the temple, and then it goes 100, 200, 300. So it's like, you just know how exactly how far you are away from it. - See, I love that about, like, the grid system is perfect, but did he really invent it? Because I feel like New York City had already had a grid system and pulled into it. - I didn't mean it, but we just was like, "What if we had bigger?" - Yeah. - Yeah, I don't think it was. - We figured out a square. - 'Cause you don't realize how wide the streets are in Salt Lake, like, crossing the street in downtown Salt Lake, and then, like, I go back to Spokane and cross the road. - No, it's true. When he crosses the street in Salt Lake, he thinks that was a half marathon. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like, actually... - And under two and a half, not bad. - Like, it took me an hour and 50 minutes across that street, but yeah, it's a fun time out here. - I'll tell you what I'll never complain about being back here in Salt Lake after living in Oklahoma City as homeless people. - None. - Dude, Salt Lake has barely any... - You were in Portland, too. I bet Portland was just as bad. - No, it was definitely worse than Oklahoma City, because when I was there, all the drugs were decriminalized. - Oh, yeah. That's right. - It wasn't homeless. It was just drug addict. - Yeah. But hey, they're going to find help now, right? - Yeah, dude. They're all... But you hop on the r/portland on Reddit, and you see the real side of Portland. Oh, I'm sure. - When everyone's like, "What if we just threw him home?" - Honestly, it was like that, too. The subreddit is somebody because, like, for the most part, it's just food recommendations, which, by the way, if you're visiting Oklahoma City, check the subreddit. There's a lot of good recommendations there. But then, yeah, one and every 10 is like, "What the fuck is with all these homeless people on 23rd?" - Well, that's the irony of, like, it's Portland. - Yeah. - It's, you know, it's labeled as one of the most liberal cities in America. - Yeah. - And then you hear people's real thoughts. - Yeah. - 'Cause this guy... - No, you get annoyed enough. - This guy, Jake Silverman, a great comic, he had this joke where he was like, "How many broken car windows does it take to get a Republican mayor of Portland?" And it's a real thought. - Yeah, no. - And the real thing is like, yeah, there's a lot of people I know who are like, "I know two comics who got assaulted by a homeless person." - Dude, there's a comic, did a whole bit about it in Oklahoma City about how a homeless person just stopped in front of his car with a knife and he was like, "Give me your wallet." Luckily, he was in his car, so he drove away. - No, no, girl, it's a guy who just was standing outside of a bar and the dude just ran by and punched him in the face. And then this girl, she was at her job and this guy yanked her ponytail during the concussion. And like... - Anyways, so... - Closest I got was... - Repalestine. - Yeah. - I had just done someone's podcast in Oklahoma City, J.J. Wood. And I was walking back to my car and there's this homeless guy who was just throwing haymakers in the air. And I was like, "I'm gonna give him some space." And then he stopped in front of my car and I was like, "I guess I'm going for a walk tonight." - Yeah. - And so I walked a few blocks and then came back and then he was like sitting down, like calm and like maybe getting to sleep by my car and I was like, "Yeah, I'm just gonna like open this thing and get in as fast as I can." But that was the most terrified I've been. Oh yeah, no, dude, I had to, you know, do delivery. - Oh, yeah. - Downtown woman where I'm like, "I'd have to walk in the street 'cause the sidewalks was just, it was just drug addicts in the sidewalk, like, full." - Yeah. - And I would just have to walk in the street. I had my pit by a prison, which maybe looked like a cop, and then I would just, I would just like, you just don't look at anyone in the eye and that's what's good about the glasses. No one knows and then you just like, you barrel through everything. - Yeah. - It's like, I could get through it fast, but like, any time I saw it, my route wasn't downtown. I was just like, "Okay." - All right, so when I started stand up in Spokane, like, the club is like a block away from like, we're all the homeless camps. - That's how the brick down club was too. - They, when I started, they, 'cause now they do like an email system. - Yeah. - Parking, parking. - Yeah, they're pretty cool. - But back then it was first come, first serve. - Oh, nice. - We'd have to wait outside the club to show up like two hours early. Dude, it was two hours of being harassed by homeless people. - Yep. - Like the whole time. - Yep. - And every time one's walked by the line of comedians, all the comedians are like, trying to look away. Like, don't make eye contact. - Oh yeah, dude. No, it's like, you just can't, like, they just, all the same, you just look at them and they're like, "Hey, hey, hey." - And my favorite one though was this homeless guy who would always stand at the order window of McDonald's drive-through and beg for money there. - Oh yeah. See? - That happened to me. - See, but like, no. And then he'd back away and then he'd be like, "Yeah, can I get a double with, you just feel like such an asshole." - You know what? I ordered at McDonald's I was like drunk in my car driving. - Yeah. - 'Cause what else you gonna do? - Wow. - Where else you gonna be drunk? - No one's pulling you over in Portland. - Yeah. - Dude, I'm like pulling up. This guy, black, it's not gonna say the race. The guy walks up to me just like, yeah, you know, like, "Hey, I'm on for my mom and my son." He's like, "This ain't all this shit. I don't even turn my music down. I'm just like looking at him. This is like, house music just blasting." And I just go like, "Don't I have any cash?" And then I just pull forward. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So one time this homeless guy came to me and asked me for cash. I was like, "Sorry, I don't have cash." And he's like, "I was like, yeah, I don't carry cash." She's like, "Oh, but you carry cards." - Yeah. - Yeah. But I'm not giving you my card." He was like, "Yeah, let's go to an ATM." - He goes, "I feel like I'm getting robbed." - I knew a guy who gave square readers to homeless people and was like, "You craft your motherfucker. That's awesome." - No, dude. You know, the real move is you just go, "I don't want to help." - Yeah. - Or you just ignore. - Yeah. - So I don't actually prefer you like this. You're in this position for a reason because God's playing. - Yeah. Which I'm glad I left right now too because I'm sure it was the same in Portland. Once it gets hotter, so like mental health with heat and drugs, it's just... - Work well. - Well, dude, it gets bad. - Yeah, it was tough out there. Humidities. - Hey. - Yeah. - But... - Well, you talk, it's probably just the same heat as Oklahoma, but yeah. - Yeah. The humidity sucks. - But, no, I mean, I also... I will say that when you're so hot, you know, I feel like I don't even really notice the homeless as much anymore because I'm just so fucking tired. - Well, I have good air conditioning in my car, so I don't have to work outside. - Fair enough, dude. - But I was getting like a lightheaded. Anyways, so we covered it all. We did it all. How do we want to wrap this up? - Well, yeah. You're part of the team. Anything you want to plug? - I started a new podcast with a buddy of mine called We Don't Know Hockey. It is about two fans of hockey who don't know anything about the sport. We're just learning it because we're fans of Utah sports. - I feel like I should be on it. - You can be a guest on it, yeah, we'd love to have you on. - Okay, never mind. Never mind. I don't like the way you said that. - I'm sorry. I don't know. I can't speak with him. - Yeah, yeah. You can be on, sure. - Yeah. - Come on. Come on. Come on. - You're on our fucking podcast. - You're right. I fucked that up. I fucked that up. Sorry, you're right. - I don't want to do it. - Hold on. Let me apologize. Let me apologize. I'm sorry. You're right. I'll do it. I have a hard time speaking for both people when the other person's not there. But you're right. Sorry. I have a podcast called We Don't Know Hockey. It's about two fans of Utah sports who are learning the sport of hockey. - Okay. And I can't be on it. - No, I would love to have you on it. - Oh, no. - You should. I would love to have both of you guys as guests at some point.