(crowd cheering) Yeah, this message is sponsored by Greenlight as your kids get older. Some things about parenting get easier here. Man, you can say that again. As a father of three, don't I know it. Others don't, like having that conversation about money. The fact is, kids won't really know how to manage their money and so they're actually in charge of it. That's where Greenlight can help. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families. Parents can send money to their kids and keep an eye on kids spending and saving while kids and teens build money, confidence, and lifelong financial literacy skills. With the Greenlight app, kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely thanks to games that teach kids money skills in a fun, accessible way. Yeah, and I've actually used this before with the Greenlight app. Kids can learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely, like you said. 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Greenlight.com/drinkinbros. Looking for a financial institution that has fewer fees, better rates, and gives back to the local community? As one of Colorado's largest credit unions, Belco offers great rates on products like our free boost interest checking and lower rates on loans, including our home equity choice line. Bank virtually any time, anywhere, through online banking and our mobile app. Becoming a member has never been easier. Visit belco.org or stop by any Belco branch. Membership eligibility required. Equal housing opportunity, all-own subject to approval, insured by NCUA. Belco, banking for everyone. (rock music) - Welcome to Drinking Bros, presented by ghostband.com. Sit back, relax, and grab a fucking drink. - Yeah, welcome to Drinking Bros, kids. The hurricane is burling down on us. Nailed it. Nailed it. - What hurricane? - Hurricane Burl, it's here. It's live, it's in our faces, it's all over our bodies, our chest, our hair, the back of our thighs, throats, pancreas, taints, balls, vaginas, penises. It's everywhere down here. I got a text message from my mom, and she was just like, are you alive? Ross, we're seeing people being just carried down the streets, and they're all dead, everything's gone crazy. The hurricane has hit Texas. And I said, "Mom, we're about five hours away "from any form of beach, and we're all good here." However, I guess Houston got rocked. Is that true, Bob? - Yeah, Houston's about 45 to 50 minutes from Galveston, which is where we-- - No shit. - You don't remember going to Houston and driving to Galveston the next day? - No, I don't, I don't. Oh, was that for the cruise? - Yeah. - Yeah, no, that was the night of Buck's Wild. So yeah, I don't remember a lot of that. We did a podcast live from a strip club. Just search Buck's Wild under drinking bros and listen to that episode, holy shit. We were pulling girls off the stage and then just interviewing them in the VIP room and shit got out of hand that night, so no, I didn't remember that at all. - Yeah, one of the girls tried to convince me that her dad was a physicist that worked with Ed Whitten and that would be like saying my dad's a basketball player that plays with Michael Jordan 'cause Ed Whitten is the best mathematician in the world probably, or at least for a while he was. - We don't know, okay? Celebrities pop up in weird places, but Houston did get rocked, therefore it knocked out internet power, all that stuff. We run off of Spectrum here, which sucks and we hate it, although there is a Google headquarters right downtown about eight miles from here and they refuse to put Google fiber out here, the whole state of Texas is kind of down. Right now we're operating kind of off of people's phone internet and shit like that. - Well, you know what's weird about that. I think it's about 80 to 85% of the country. No matter where you live, residentially you have only one option for the internet. You either have-- - And it's your cable provider. - Yeah, it's your cable provider. - Really? - You either have Spectrum or Google or one of the other ones. - Okay. - The overlap is very rare. - There, I mean, I don't know how it hasn't been, like it's a, what do you call it? - Antitrust. - Antitrust, yeah. - Yeah, I'm an happily. Well, I think it was initially because I had direct TV which just got sued by, or I guess sued for the NFL or against, I don't know how that works. For having the Sunday ticket, now with that, AT&T was my provider, so that was also my internet and my cable and it was a bundle package that I would get through them and that was kinda it there. But now you, a lot of places, have options except for us. We were out of options today and therefore we're knocked out on all platforms here. So this will run later tonight. Audio will still be up in time. I don't know what time video will be going up or when it's gonna get better here. - Same time. - Okay, at what? - Seven. - Seven PM Central? Okay, so eight o'clock Eastern. But yeah, it's the hurricane. It knocked out a lot of Houston. Most of their towers are down and all that other shit. Is there a ton of flooding, Bob? - Yeah, it's mostly flooding. - Okay, pop it up. Do we have any weird dolphins or anything going down the street? - Nothing that wacky yet that I've seen. - No one's photoshopped the shark. - Nothing at all, huh? All right, a lot of black people in Houston. Any black people out there playing in the water? Just kinda just kinda running around. Any videos you can show us that are fun and flirty for the audience, Bob, about Houston? - You mean to find a black guy in the water? - Bob, you said that, I didn't say it. Okay, I just, I don't know what's happening there. - Well, you know what, we're trying to-- - More interesting than the fact that most black people can't swim is that there's also quite a few, as far as suburban areas, Houston probably has the largest collection of wild animals in captivity, right? - Yeah. - Bob can tell you the story in his in-laws neighborhood, which is what, 25 minutes away from fucking the Astro Stadium? There was, a tiger got loose in that neighborhood. What, was it like six or seven years ago or some shit? - Yeah, it was, it wasn't that long ago. - It was not that long ago. It was right before I worked here, I feel like. Yeah, some like four years ago, five, maybe. - Yeah, so like, and in-laws, they actually just moved to Dallas, so they don't live in that neighborhood anymore, too many tiger interactions. It's just, the neighborhood went to shit, all the tigers moving in. - Well, you know, 65% of the tiger, or 65% of crime is committed by 13% of tigers. - Yes. - A lot of people don't know that. - Yeah, but yeah, it just got out. And my in-laws, like, they had like a nice house, certainly, they just sold it for a little over seven figures, but like, this was not, hey, it's Texas real estate, so everything's over-inflated, and maybe like, these are, these houses are fairly big, but they're not like tiger big, right? - Yeah, they're not tiger big, and there's not big yards. It's like maybe a hat, it's like a .5 to .75 lot from what I recall. - Yes, so they have a pool, but there's no grass in the back. You're like my in-laws house. Like, so there's enough room for a pool, but not enough room to go also play catch or whatever. Like, so somebody was keeping their tiger, and there's also no basements. So somebody was just keeping their tiger. - He's in the guest room. - Yeah. - And to my knowledge, Bob, a lot of these tigers were found in apartment complexes. - Oh my God. - I'm not kidding. - How do you get away with that? - Not sure. - Like when you're signing the waiver for no pets, or your pet, like, it says you can have dogs under 25 pounds. Okay, cool. What about a tiger? - What about a tiger? - Not on here about tigers. - Sorry. - The reason it's not on this, because nobody thought anybody would be dumb enough to bring a tiger into a fucking apartment complex. But you know, you don't hear about people getting mauled and shit. - Not often, Bob. Do we have any video evidence of a tiger running through the water down there in the streets of Houston for Hurricane barrel down there? - Is it a burl, like Milton burl? - Yeah, it's B-E-R-Y-L. - Oh, I'm sorry. So this, the tiger happened in 2021. So I did work here. - Oh, shit, Bob. - That was the year that we went down there. That was the World Series year. What month is this from? - This was May. - Oh, shit. So this is like a couple of months before, we were down there in October. - For the Braves when the world's serious. - It was apparently loose for a week before they found it. - A whole week. - I like that. - I wanna live in a world where, you know, wild animals are friendly. - Yeah. - That's the world I wanna live in. - Same. - Rhinos, hippos, fucking giraffes, lions, tigers, monkeys, all that shit. - Look at this shit. Are they petting him in the yard? - I don't know. - I mean, other guys got a gun. - For sure. - Smart. But the other guy who's trying to pet this fucking tiger has no gun. - Yeah. - And he's just got his bare hands out there. - He's wearing a suicide vest. - Man. - So that guy's a Muslim. - It'd be great if he-- - Flap! - What? - He found the tiger. - He found out the tiger was Jewish. He was wearing a little hat. (laughing) - And if you look in the background there, Bob, there's a jolly little fat neighbor there who's kind of poking his beak out. - He's on the phone. - Yeah, what's he doing? - He's calling 911. - He's like, "Ah, goddamn it." You know, calling-- - Another tiger. - He's being a real caring about this tiger. - I can't believe this guy in the yard, man. Is it weird that I hope he didn't live just because he was doing this bullshit? - I kind of feel like I would not do this. - Probably. But then again-- - You never know. - I like animals. - And you like edibles. So-- - I don't like it. - Here's my question. - You're super high. You can go out and pet a tiger. - No one's going to bat an eye. And I know you want to state side. No one's gonna bat an eye at you putting a bullet in a tiger. - I'm not killing an animal for no reason. - I would. - I would. - You would come and ride. - I would kill that tiger. - No, I would kill a person without blinking. - I'd blow that tiger away just to do it, dude. That'd be fucking funny shit. There's no reason. I pay HOA's. I pay my fucking dues quarterly for Christ's sakes. Yeah, if there's a tiger that rolls through my yard, I'm blowing it away. Just because I can at that point. And I got kids and shit, man. It's not like I'm gonna risk one of them squeezing out the door and trying to pet the tiger. So yeah, I put a fucking bullet in that goddamn thing. And then maybe I pose with it, like DJTJ or something, you know, down in Africa, just to have fun. - You can bless the reins while you go. - Actually, Dan, this is, I saw this impressive kill the other day, at least if I can find it for you real quick. - Which one? Are you talking about the soda, my ore one last night? - No, that was just some, so I was talking about it the other day on the show. I get at least three to five, depending on the wheat, three to five alerts on my next door thing that somebody's vehicle's been stolen or they've broken in and it's stolen a gun, which is where most fucking illegal guns come from, not from straw purchase. They mostly come from, oh yeah, I saw that. - This guy had to take down this fucking brown bear. - Is that a Beretta nine million? - Yeah, with just his handgun, that's all he had. - No fucking way. How many times do you have to shoot it? - Oh, you're probably to empty it, right? - I mean, you would have to shoot it in the brain. I don't know if that round will go through their fucking rib cage. I guess if you got lucky and it bounced between the ribs, but definitely not the kind of gun you wanna be going up against a fucking brown bear with, for Christ's sake. - Well, if you don't have a choice, you don't have a choice. - No, I'm just saying. - Yeah, this is not optimal, so there's no hiding. - You saved the last one for yourself. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What do you mean there's no hiding? - Like you can't run away from, they're way faster than you. There's some animals that can't run downhill as well, some of these, some of the bigger bears I'm told, but I'm not taking that fucking chance. - Would you shoot it in the head though? - Yes. - I would try to shoot it through the eye. - 'Cause right now I'm looking at this, it looks like a rib cage shot right there. - Yeah. - I mean, that's where the heart is. If you're trying to shoot through the heart, it's right behind the shoulder, but fuck man. I mean, I don't know how many times you had to shoot to get through there. Maybe he just got lucky, to be honest. - No idea. - 'Cause that looks like a nine millimeter for me. It doesn't even look like a 45 or anything. - It also looks like there's a substance on the bear's back. Is there a shot that this guy jacked off all over the bear after he killed it? - That's the sun, asshole. - Oh, it is, okay. - Yeah. - 'Cause I think the excitement would kind of overtake you, and you would want to jack off on the dead bear. - If it's a male, maybe, yeah. If it's a female, there might be cubs in the area, and I don't want to make the cubs watch. - That's true. - Yeah, that's true. - 'Cause that would be, let's see who fucked up. - But if you do something this fucking baller out in the woods, I think your first instinct as a male would naturally be to jack off all over this dead bear. - Or to jack the bear off. - The bear's dead. - Yeah, but it's gonna be hard, it's gonna be hard. - It's probably gonna be soft, that's the problem. - The weight of the legs, you can't lift up the bear's legs on your own. - Yeah, that thing's probably 1,200 pounds, to be honest. - There's no way to lift up this legs. - That's why when anybody posits that core, we've talked to it before, but anybody posits that question who would win a grizzly bear, which you're seeing here next to a human being, or a fucking silverback gorilla, a grizzly bear would kill that gorilla so fast. - Nah. - It would kill it so fast. - It could rip the face off the bear, I think, rip the eyes out real quick. - No. - The gorilla's just gonna start throwing barrels. - I think the gorilla could rip the eyes out of the bear pretty quickly, and the bear would be blind as shit. - The gorilla doesn't have claws like the bear. The bear has fucking big ass claws. - It's just got power, it's just got power. - No. - I'm sorry, it's playing the yapes, not playing the bears. - Tim Kennedy, have you shaken Tim Kennedy's hand? It's like squeezing a gorilla's hand. It's so powerful that he could rip your eyeball out of your skull. - No, you don't think this thing's powerful? - I think the gorilla, though-- - This weighs three to four times more than the gorilla. - Yeah, but gorilla's fast, man. - Gorillas get on the back and then rip the eyes out from behind. - What's the grizzly bear's avert? - Well, I mean, it's darker, so probably higher. - I guarantee the gorilla's got a better bird. - Not if it's a black bear. - I fair enough, yeah, the black bear if you shave it, it's brown underneath, so you can't trust those assholes. - Bob, do you find those black kids in Houston yet, in the floods? - Just gonna run it around? - No. - We're under attack here by the hurricane and I mean, I've just gotta see some footage here of what's going on down in Houston. Apparently it's nuts. Three and a half million people without power right now, Bob. We've got no footage of people wading through the waters. That's crazy to me. Crazy town to me, RIP. - Now, here's an example of a private industry being better than the government. So the government's power outage situation in Houston, not reporting anything, so people have resorted to checking the water burger maps. - Shut up. - To see what's open and what's closed. - Wow. - Or like what areas of Houston have power and whatnot. So if you wanna see what areas of Houston have power as of 741 this morning? - Yeah. - Look at the orange water burgers versus the gray water burgers. - That's not my hurricane food, bro. I don't go water burger for hurricanes. - Well, if I'm in that area. - What are you gonna do? - If I'm in that area, so last hurricane I was in Wilmington, and that one I loaded up on McDonalds, man, I just felt more powerful. I just felt more powerful there. - I'd probably get something cold. - You would? - Yeah, I mean, I'd probably get a lot of it right at the beginning, just in case power was out for a while. - I got some little Totino's pizzas. I think I got maybe 10 or 20 of those. - How's that gonna help you when the power goes out, asshole? - Oh, have you ever had 'em like defrosted? - No, no, I'm not eating cold shit. - Yeah, they're not bad at all. That's poor people, bullshit. - Well, eating like an Italian sandwich? - Yeah. - Like cold cuts. - Cold cuts, something like that. Something preserved, some kind of preserved meat. I mean, I've got a bunch of pemic in it, my house, I'll be fine. - No need, no need. Little Totino's last forever, dude. You can get 10 for $20. - During the snowstorm when I lived in the studio, the only thing that was open was the domino's across the street. - Oh, that's right. - Yeah, but if it's open still after the bullshit, you know it's gonna continue to be open, then go for the hot food for sure. I'm just saying, when the power's out, or if it looks like it's gonna go out, don't go for hot food. - Yeah, I loaded up on my house. - 'Cause McDonald's, like two hours later, McDonald's is not good. - It's not good, but I was eating it. I was filling up before the storm got there. I was pretty confident that I could ride it out during the course of that evening, and I did, and it really powered me up. - I don't think that you could survive anything, to be honest. You barely survived getting a cold. - I fucking, dude, I fucking held the doors together while that hurricane came in. It was a wild one, 'cause it wasn't supposed to hit us. Do you remember that one? - I wasn't there yet. - Okay, it wasn't-- - That was 2019, right? - It wasn't supposed to hit us, dude. It was fucked up, man. And all of a sudden, horns went off, bridge goes up, and I was like, oh shit, and I'm trapped down there by myself. But there is a McDonald's on that island, so I was like, fuck it, let's go. And I beat the hurricane by myself. - That's, by the way-- - Sorry that I'm stronger than you guys. - It is one of the worst McDonald's in the country, I think, on that island. - That one? - Yeah, it's bad. - It's not great. - Isn't there a Hardee's next to it or some shit? - Used to be. - Something. - Yeah, it used to be. I think it's dying down there. - It's a weird thing between Hardee's and Carl's Jr. I feel like they're both the same, and they just kind of change the signs. - It is the same. Like literally-- - Let throw people off. - Literally, it's the same company. I don't know why they do that, it's very bizarre. - But I think they just swap out the signs to be like, oh, we got a new option here in the area, and you're like, well, fuck, I've had Carl's Jr. in a while. Man, this tastes like Hardee's. - Do you remember those $6 burgers back in the day with Paris Hilton crawling around on a fucking car? - It was great. - What, whatever. They were pretty good. - Yeah. - I like those burgers. - They were fantastic too, but they got rid of all that bullshit. - Oh, yeah. - What was it, the heart attack burger or something like that? - I don't know about that. - Bob, where we had in that footage of those black children being saved from the floods down there. - It's Houston. - Probably white people saving, you'd think. - All right, maybe. I don't know because I can't see the footage right now, and I'm concerned. We're under attack. This is a natural disaster that's going on down here. Internet is knocked out in Austin. - Oh, I guess Mr. Beast went down and saved him. - Did he really? - Yeah. - It'd be great. If he did a video of saving those kids, and then he gave them each like $7,000, and then made them compete in some 30-day challenge, it'd be fucking great. - He's in prison though now, because he didn't get the proper permits. - Ah, it makes sense. Here we go. All right, Houston, look at that. - Is that a causeway? What is that? - That's a road. - That's a road, man. And those are cars. - Someone was like, uh-oh. - Underneath it there. - Yeah, I mean, did they not know that there was a-- - The hurricane, that's what I can never figure out. - Or was that car like broken down on the side of the road? - The one in the back isn't, and it is clearly, look at this one back here, it's like, "Oh boy, I think I went the wrong way." Sometimes you just go for it. - I guess, but if you're in one of those cars, it's not a car that's lifted or anything. Oh shit, that one of the backgrounds moving. - Yeah, I know. - He's trying to get through. He's like, "Ah geez, this road too, huh?" - He's got work to do. I love that guy. Send me his fucking resume. She doesn't surprise, dude. It doesn't. Hashtag, rise and grind. - You gotta wonder what Houston did to anger God, too. - Do you remember how Jerry Falwell used to blame all the natural disasters on gay people? - Yeah. - I think we need to go back to that. - Houston, what do you got is number one out of Houston? I got Paul Wall. - I know, Joel. - That's an immediately what I think. - Joel Osteen. - Are you got Osteen? - He's the fucking richest dude from Houston, that's for sure. - That's true. - Except for maybe Beyonce. She's from a north suburb. - Oh, you're right, you're right. But is that the first thing you think of about, I think of Paul Wall? - No, I think of Jeff Bagwell, to be honest. - Really? The old Astros player. - Yeah. - All right. - Craig Bigio, Jeff Bagwell. - Fat hat. - Yeah, no one. - Who? - Fat Pat. - Who's Fat Pat? - Top shop, come on. - What? - Derek Lewis? - Say words that make sense. - Derek Lewis. - Yeah, Derek Lewis, I know. - Yeah, but he can't win in his hometown, so you can't count him. - No, no. Mattress Mack. - Oh, yeah, Mattress Mack. - Do you send out Derek Lewis to fight the hurricane? - No, because he always loses in Houston. Every time, every time, like an energy twice, and then where was the other one? There was another one, and one of those smaller arenas down there. - He only loses in Houston. - He lost at the Rockets arena too, I think. - We saw it. - Yeah, we did watch it together, man. We watched it here. I think you guys actually went in person. - He's pretty much unbeatable anywhere other than his hometown. It's kind of weird, to be honest. - So he would have lost to this hurricane is what you're saying. - Probably, if he goes down to Galveston, maybe that's far enough away. If he meets it right at the fucking edge of the water, I don't know, but he gets-- - This is why we need Trump back in office. He would have put a nuke in this fucking thing doing an exploded at it. - I think that's the only real solution. - And we would have had internet today instead-- - I think we should nuke the internet since it's not working. - I agree, let's burn down this whole fucking building. But yeah, we're really feeling it here. Not a drop of rain or anything, guys, but-- - Well, I rained on Saturday. And it was supposed to rain yesterday, but it didn't. - Yeah, it didn't. So just to recap here, the hell that we've gone through today with Hurricane barrel, no internet, no rain. No wind, no rocks. And I haven't seen one black child in the streets of Boston running around, okay? - I forgot Hillary Duff's from Houston. - Ooh. - That dump truck? - I know, I know. And she's only gotten hotter, she's gotten older. - Oh yeah. - What's this footage here about? - Here's a fun video from Houston. - Here we go. - Oh, Kenny Rogers from Houston. - Rogers! - Is it really? - Patrick Swayze. - Beyonce, of course. - Yes. - So this is during Hurricane Harvey? - Okay. - Woman drives into an underpass. - What is that, 27? - 16. - 16. - Drives an underpass, oopsie in the water. Going underwater, you can see your turn to cellphone light on. - Oh my God, don't ditch. - You know who's from Houston? - Who? - And David Koresh keeps going under. - Oh shit, this thing's gone, dude. - Travis Scott, Dennis Quaid. - Wow. - Wes Anderson. - Presumably Randy Quaid as well, so they don't list him. - Yeah. - I assume they were born in the same place. Is this the check that was trapped in the car? - Yeah, she died. - She's dead? - Oh yeah, that's what you saw, the flashlight moving around and the car kept sinking and then the flashlight stopped moving. - You gotta kick the window. - God man, whenever it's somebody hot that guy, that makes me sad. - You don't need to kick the window, God damn it. - What do you do? - You should have a window popper in your car as well. You should have a seat belt cutter and a window popper. Usually it's like, even some of them are spring loaded but even one that's part of the seat belt cutter that's just a ceramic tip. It's a little point, it looks like a fucking pen or something like that. And you just pop the glass and it'll shatter. - No cut. - Right? God damn it. - I mean, look, this beautiful-- - Get a tourniquet. - This beautiful princess died. What's her sit share? - Dead. - Besides that, what did she do in the past? - Well, only fans didn't exist back then, so. - Unfortunately, but yeah. - Only fans didn't exist yet, but that's probably, you know, if you map that on today, that's probably what-- - This breaks my heart. This breaks my fucking heart. - George Foreman. - Oh, Houston, Houston native as well. - Travis Scott, Meg the Stallion. - Michael Strahan. - Roger Clemens, Ben's young. - There's a lot of people from Houston, huh? - Howard Hughes. - It's like the fifth biggest city in the country, I think, right? - I just don't like going there. - No, it sucks. Houston sucks, but a lot of people. Anna Nicole Smith. - Oh, man, she's one of my top five. - RIP. - Brittany Griner. - All right. - No, no. - First of all, a war? - I am. P-O-W, dude. P-O-W, Brittany Griner. Yeah, but Anna Nicole Smith. Man, that's a tough one for me. 'Cause even when she had the clown makeup on in that one video, I was still down. - Wait, I don't remember any of that. - Oh, Bob, Google Anna Nicole Smith clown makeup. A lot of people say this is sad. I think it's a happier time for her. 'Cause she was having fun with her kids. - I mean, what's sad about it? Oh, God. (laughing) Oh, that's just like her kids did that? - No, she did it. - Okay. - She did it. There was no real reason why, and it wasn't Halloween or anything. So, it's a sad story, guys, and that's Houston. So that's what's going on down in Houston. - Well, sometimes women do crazy things. For example, the first lady in the United States. - Okay. - And what did she do? - So apparently, several years ago, I've never heard this story before, but I found the old story about it. Apparently, a couple of years ago, she approached, I think it's the Marine Corps Band. Now, her press secretary says they approached her, but I don't believe that, because I'm using basic human intelligence, and it's telling me that never happened. - Okay. - She had them write her a song that's like "Hail to the Chief", "The President's Walkout Music", which, again, should be Stone Cold Steve Boston, 100%. Or you pick, but it's got to be something about a real stupid ass song. That's the national anthem. But apparently, Jill Biden had to make a song for the first lady, called "Fanfare for the First Lady". - Do we have a copy of it? Can we play it? - She played it today, actually. - Oh, because she-- - That's right. She's doing everything. - She's doing everything. - Ladies and gentlemen, the first lady of the United States, Jill Biden, accompanied by the Secretary of Education, Miguel Cardona, and the 2020 and 2021 National Teachers of the Year, Tabitha Ross-Proy, and Huliana Earth-Tubey. (upbeat music) - This is the song? It sounds very British. (upbeat music) I feel like the beginning of "Parks and Wrath". It's a big show. (upbeat music) ♪ Everybody's love ♪ ♪ Everybody's love ♪ ♪ Everybody's love ♪ ♪ Everybody's love ♪ ♪ Everybody's love ♪ - Jill's still masking up. - Ladies and gentlemen, it's beautiful. - Okay, yeah, that's the end. So-- - That's beautiful. - That is beautiful. I've never heard that before. - So, according to T Beckett Adams, the other one on her team told him that the Marine Corps band was instructed in the fall of 2021 to produce an entrance theme exclusively for the First Lady. The band now has it in its repertoire and original and highly unusual composition titled "Fanfare for the First Lady". It's Jill Biden's personal "Hail to the Chief". Source said, "Long time veterans of the US Marine Corps band have characterized the situation as a first remarking that they've never been asked before to provide a First Lady with their own entrance music." Now again, her press secretary says that they ask her if they could write her a song, but the members of the band are like, "No, we've never been asked to write a song before until now." - Wow. - So, that's quite a different story. Now, apparently this article came out in January of 2022 and by April, they had quote unquote, "retired the song" because people were like, "What the fuck?" But now she's bringing it back so she's doing all the Biden's public appearances. - No shit. - How wild, I mean, that is fucking crazy. But, on the other hand, I think maybe we should hire somebody to play Trumpets for us when we come in. - I would love it, actually. And if I, by the way, if I could do this, I would. You know that, right? So it's hard for me to pull my pants down and shit all over her chest and face for this because I would definitely, if I could write my own theme song that people played when I walked in, fuck yeah. Let's say the Timmy Trumpet song didn't exist. That would have probably been the song that I would have written or had them write for me. - Yeah. - So I could walk out into the world. - Yeah, this is, not great. Obviously, it's not great. - Kind of a power measure. - She's taken like meetings for him now. - Well, I'd heard, and correct me if I'm wrong, that today she did all three of the rallies and then he wasn't there. - Yeah, no, he's busy getting ready for the NATO summit. - Okay, when is that? - Today, tomorrow, this weekend. - Oh, Jesus Christ. - Is he gonna speak there? - I fucking hope so. - Oh, no. - Listen, listen here. NATO is Nate. - Oh. - There's nowhere to go. And what do you do if you're, what if you're on the one of these other countries watching this bullshit. - Well, I mean, Wall Street Journal published an article. I think it was this morning, actually, that he was supposed to have a meeting with a foreign president last year and he just blew it off. He said, "Nah, I had to go to bed." And he said, "Blinking instead." - Really? - So this brings up, go to Colin Rugg, R-U-G-G, Colin with two L's. - He pops up in my feet a lot. What is this guy's story? What does he do? - Just a fucking journalist. - Okay. - He's like an aggregator. He's not a journalist. - Oh, okay, gotcha. - Yeah, that's a good way to say. - Okay. - He owns Trending Politics, which is an aggregator site. - Final with John Pierre or whatever the fucker name is. - John Luke Picard up there. - There we go, up, there we go. So Peter Ducey, well, just play the fucking video. - Yeah, is this today? - Yeah. - Well, he also said he's sharpest before 8 p.m. So say that the Pentagon at some point picks up an incoming nuke. It's 11 p.m. Who do you call it, the first lady? - He has a team that lets him know of any news that is pertinent and important to the American people. He has someone or that is decided, obviously, with his National Security Council on who gets to tell him that news. - So, well, he also said he's-- - He's a joke, huh? - Okay. - Damn it, we got some sponsors that put this shit wagon on the air. First and foremost, go to sped.com/drinkin' bros. You know, it's still all 50% off, right? Just because the 4th of July is over doesn't mean the savings are done. They're staying up. Economies and shambles, inflation sucks. Ghost beds here to save the day, 50% off everything in the entire store with the promo code "drinkin' bros." At checkouts, that is mattresses, sheets, pillows, adjustable bases, weighted blankets, mattresses for RVs. Shit, that Venus Williams collection, Wimbledon's going on right now. That's half off. They got the massage toppers, which are brand new. They've even got a massaging mattress over there. It's all 50% off for the promo code "drinkin' bros" at checkout, and it doesn't matter how many items you put in the cart. 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We funder.com/heartafceltzer. It's allow us to open up five more states, get a brand new website, get a brand new store locator, all that fun stuff and we're hiring sales reps as we speak across the nation and it's been rad. I'm looking at this now. This is great, holy shit. Are you on this new website right now? God damn dude, this is nice. Way to go, man. So yeah, we got products, we got everything on here. She, look at that, dude. Money going to good use, let's fucking go. Right now we're live in Texas. Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Outer Banks and Wilmington and North Carolina and Ohio, Michigan and Illinois are up next month. Next month we're out there. University of Illinois, we're in all their stadiums. So football, we will be there for the Thursday night game, drinking some heart afceltzer inside the stadium with you. It's own unique flavor. So you're going to have to drive to Illinois for this in particular because it's orange. It's fucking bomb, it tastes like Fana for Christ's sakes. It's amazing and it's in 16 ounces. They're going to be serving 16 ounces in the stadium, which is going to be a fun fucking time. Can't wait, I'm amped. But right now, if you're in one of those states, let's take Texas, HEB's, Total Wines Everywhere, Pigly Wiggles in Alabama, Total Wines in Florida are up in rock and Wilmington. That Total Wine is rockin' as well. The brunch is there, Total Wines in Tennessee and then a ton of bars and restaurants. Ohio, you got Urban Myers Pine House in Dublin. You got Pine House in the short north down there. Standard Hall. There's a ton of places out there. Smoky Mountain Alex Axe House in Knoxville, Tennessee. Frugal McDougals in Nashville. You name it, we're out there in these fucking streets, dude. Sprayberry, that package store in Georgia. We used to play them in high school football. They got it, dude. But go to the store locator on hardafselter.com, type in your city or zip. It'll take you to the closest location near us, you. Or we still ship right to your house. And right now, because everybody's investing in the company, we're able to hire a new shipping company that's offering us half off. So it's now super fucking cheap to ship to your house now. So we're stoked about that. And we're working on being able to send you the individual University of Michigan cans and Illinois cans to your house as well. Support us and support the show by going to hardafselter.com today. Usually there's a phone next to the bed. - Yeah. - And they don't have that anymore, huh? - Well, I mean, you don't want to wake them up. - You don't want to frighten them. - Yeah. - This age, you wake somebody up like this at this age, they'll die and shit their pants. Now he's probably dived up for bed, so that's fine. But the rest of it, it's not great. - It's strange, man, because obviously the White House is holding on to this candidate. I love it, and I hope he stays in. Obviously, common one would be fine, too. I wanted it, too. I don't really give a shit. - Well, so the Democrats had a meeting yesterday. - And what was that about? - And it didn't go well, I'm told. I mean, that's what all the publication about it today is that it didn't go well. - Because they tried to get them out? - Yeah. - And he said no? - And yeah, more or less. - Stay in, Joe. Stay in, bro. You're doing great. You answered all the questions, Joe. Stay in, like I love that. That's fine. I love the flow to Santa, too. That's great. Now, if you hire somebody to do it, is that trademarked and you get it? Is that copyrighted? And then, or could Melania use it this fall? - Oh, I mean, I think Melania would probably use something a little bit more updated than that. - Do you think so? - Well, she was probably stripping music to be honest. - I mean, it sounds like it was written for Dolly Madison. It does. - Like it's very old. - Very old, yeah. Like I said, it's very British. It sounds very British. Where is Melania from? Austria or some shit? - As you grew up next to Joel's wife. - Oh, really? Same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, huh? Then maybe, maybe he gets, what's fucking fun in Florida? What's the Schwarzenegger song? - Nah, like, yeah, what is it? - It's over and over. - Like a good old fashion. - Well, the sound of music is Austrian technical. - Oh, yeah! - It was fucking do that! - But it was written in the UK, so it's not. - Fuck it! The sound of music song would be great. The hills are alive, and then she could just kind of stroll into wherever she's going. - I am 16 going on 17. - Yeah! - Boom, and just blow your fucking brains out. - Hashtag be best. Be best. - Here's some Slovenian pop song, she's Slovenian. - Okay. - Oh, so's Luca. - Are we allowed to play this on YouTube? - No. - We're not? - Okay, well. - Damn. - They all look for... Everybody's dancing and they're having a good time in the video. Play three seconds and see if we get dinged. And if not, we'll mute it afterwards. - Hello. - All right, time him. Time him. Delco, I wanna hear this fucking thing. - We find it. - Big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big. - Yeah, we gotta find a fun heart. - ♪ Nisou yalaya ♪ - That's real gay. - Yeah. - We're not doing that bullshit. - That just sounds like 80s, man. - Yeah. I'm really good at name that tune and all those shizam shows and shit like that. That's real gay. So no, that's gonna be a hard no for me, Doug. Send him back. There's gotta be some old head from fucking Austria. Is Chopin or somebody like that? Mozart? I'm a dais. Who was from wherever her homeland is? Who's the best composer they got? - I mean... - Give me some fucking moonlight salata when she walks in. - Luca Doncic is from Slovenia. - That's yeah. - But Slovenia is not a very old country either. - Who are their best composers? Who do they got? - So Slovenia used to be, I think, part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. - Yeah. - Obviously part of like a couple random Italian kingdoms and whatnot. It's not really, yeah, like Dan said, it's a new polity. - Yeah, it's only existed since the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1991. - So you say they didn't play music? All the children were born fingerless and they couldn't do anything? - Probably more fingerless children than you would think. - Yeah, I mean, you know, from farming and shit. - Well, I'm assuming there's not any KFCs over there then, huh? - I'm gonna be able to lift this thing. - Yeah, go fingers to leg. - Just look, they're stumps. - KFC changes their slogan for Slovenia, too. It's stump and love and good, dude, and you're just a small boy licking your stump after putting them both together and putting a drumstick in your mouth and just licking your stump afterwards. - So just from a practicality standpoint, if it were true that we only had stumps, I think we would tailor food to that. We would stop making food like rice would be gone. What would be the point? - Yeah, they wouldn't be. - Or you would do it like a cotton candy machine where you just roll it around in the rice and then look it off that way. - I like that, sushi. - You could do a sushi arm, a sushi nub. - But you would just make foods that are tubes, basically, like tube meat and just stick your nub down in there and pull it up and chew on it. - I'd be down for a sushi nub if it was offered to me. - You ever stick your hand on one of those cotton candy machines? - No. - Same thing, dude. It just balls up. You're good to go. You can lick it right off the bone if you want to. Sushi should be no different. You know, it's just higher a nice Japanese man. Go ahead and cue that music, Delco. - Stop texting. You have no one to text right now. You have no one to text. Hit the Japanese music, Delco. ♪♪ - Hire a nice Japanese man. To put some sushi around your nub and just wrap it up, dude, and then dip it in soy sauce. I got to have the soy sauce. I don't give a shit how good the sushi is. I got to have the soy sauce. - Well, yeah, I mean, you're supposed to use soy sauce on some, like, nigiri and stuff like that. You just dip but dip the tip of the sushi in, right? - Yeah. - Just a little bit, and then you put the fish side down on your tongue. Do you not eat sushi properly? - No, I'll still use my fingers. - No, you're supposed to use your fingers for nigiri. - Really? - Yeah. - Okay. - You just chopsticks for rolls and stuff like that. - I don't like saying that word, bro. - I don't mind it. - It's real close. - I don't give a fuck. Come get me. - You're more likely to fall off the balance beam if you're thinking about the balance beam. - It's true. - You know what I mean? You just got to walk through it. - I get the twisties like Simone Biles had when I say that word. - I just think there is no spoon. - No. - And I say whatever the fuck I want. - Delica, were you texting relatives to make sure they were safe from the hurricane? - Had to, yeah. - Okay. - Everybody alive? - Yeah, my great aunt lives in Houston. She's fine. - She's fine, okay. She's still alive. Good, yeah. - For now. - Until those kids get there. - Sure. - Or the lions. - Or the lions. - Whatever tigers, whatever the fuck's down there. - These are black kids or lions that are going to get her eventually. I don't know when this is going to air, but who cares? We're on her attack in case you're just tuning in right now. We're in her attack, Hurricane Barrels here, nothing we can do about it. Trump put out his 2024 GOP platform earlier today, pop this up on screen here. I have not read this yet, so forgive me here. I'll read aloud, seal the border and stop the migrant invasion. Yes. All good on that. Carry out the largest deportation operation in American history. Yeah, that'd be a blast. End inflation. Yeah, it'd be fucking rad. Make America affordable again. That's great. - I would like elaboration on number three. - End inflation to make America affordable again? - Just the first one. - Well, typically speaking, you got to force a recession to end inflation, right? Like the demand has to come down. So, I don't know what is- - But it's why the Fed has been raising interest rates or had interest rates high for a long time. - Sure, yeah. But there's multiple ways to drive down demand, for sure. That's one of them that's not worked particularly well. - Well, yeah. - And the reason it's not working well is because major companies are buying the points back, right? So, if you're BlackRock or State Street or something like that, and there's a house that's, let's call it just for round number six, a million dollar house, and you're going to end up with an eight and a half percent interest rate on it. Well, you can pay, it comes out to, in my experience in the past, buying houses somewhere between 50 and a 25 grand to buy half a point, basically. - We bought, I think, like a point and a half on our current house. - Yeah, I've done it on three houses. - You remember how much it was? - Yeah, it was various. - It was less than what you said, but it was- - It varies. - I'll tell you what mine was, because I've done it three different times. So typically, you're putting 20% down for a house. So you'll either have to put 25% down, 30% down. You can buy down points, but you have to put a lot more money down, and it fucking sucks. - So we were able to put 50% down on our house, like, out the gate. So we were able to, I think, get a little cheaper on this. - So most people, though, can't do this, right? - Right, but a company like BlackRock, for example, could do that and spend 25% of the capital, which is to say they could pay cash for all of them, right, which would do away with, but they could spend 25% of the capital, and then turn it into a rental and just pay it off over the years with drastically lower rate. I mean, they could buy it all the way, they could buy it down as far as they want it to. - Oh yeah, you can always refie. - Which is, and then they continuously raise the rent on people to pay for it. So I mean, they're doing the same thing that people do with second and vacation homes basically, but they're doing it thousands of homes at a time. So usually when you see inflation, a recession will come, people will stop buying houses for a while, and then the value of the dollar comes back up to match that. Here the inventory is still being purchased by assholes. So there's no way to stop inflation unless you stop that shit. I'd be really curious to Bob's point to hear exactly what his fucking plan is in that regard. - And the other thing, too, with this is to make America affordable again, then you also have to convince businesses who have been operating on this four-year record high inflation to drop the prices. - Yeah. I mean, I guess what I would, it wasn't just, it didn't start with the price hikes. I mean, it didn't start with inflation, it started with COVID. - Okay, yeah. - And then it got exacerbated by the fucking freighter ship that locked down the supply chain for a while as well. Inflation is definitely part of it as well. Price capping doesn't work. Diocletian tried this shit back in the day and it fucking butt-fucked the Roman economy. It just doesn't work. All that happens is you take competition out of the market. That's socialism, you can't do that, right? So if the government wants to give tax breaks to companies at lower prices, that's not a bad idea. - Okay. - Right. There's ways to do what I'm just saying. Like the government issuing edicts and some people want the government to cap prices and stuff like that. That's fucking dumb. - The left would bitch because, you know, obviously tax the rate, shouldn't we want to? - No, they left should love that. That's the pure socialism to cap prices. They would love that. - Not cap prices, but to give big companies, it's tax break. It's tax break. Next up here, it says, "Make America the dominant energy producer in the world by far." And there's an exclamation point by that. - That means you do that. - That means you build several more nuclear facilities. - Mm-hmm. Yeah, the way to do that, if you want to do it, is obviously drill, baby drill, but you need to fully diversify, you need to lean it, not make it the dominant thing, but you need to lean into every type of energy source you can get. - Yeah. - Nuke, roll out solar in Texas, wind where wind is viable, like you did it. - Wind usually isn't viable anywhere, to be honest. The return on the investment, because the equipment breaks down so fast, but solar for sure, our solar, oil, natural gas, and fucking nuclear, all of them. Like, get them up to 120% capacity. - And by the way, if you want to bring down prices, as much energy as possible, everything gets cheaper if the energy is abundant. - That would be another way to do this as well, is to give tax breaks to big companies that are general contractors and home builders, these companies that go out and buy large pieces of property and plan out neighborhoods for the next 10 years or whatever, give them a tax break to only sell those to private individuals, and LLC can't buy this property or whatever the fuck, right? - Yeah. - There's a lot of ways to do this. - And Bob, back to your point regarding energy for us in the Seltzer company, it's not just about making the cans and putting liquid in the cans, the first fucking thing on all these phone calls that we have with all these states is freight. How much is gas? How much is gas going up? What can we hold? What's the amount? What are we trying to save on gas prices and all that other shit and energy if it's low? Dude, that can really add to your bottom line to a lot of these fucking companies. - It's huge. And if you think about food in particular, you need, and you're really just talking about like gas for the most part, right? If you're thinking about food in particular, those are like gas, diesel, whatever powered shit that harvests food, and then the freight to get it to the family, and it's just, it's endless. - And it all goes back to, if you have abundant energy, everything else will fall in the line to a large extent. - Even the storage and facilities, like the energy that goes into that facility, if you have a nice nuclear plant nearby that's providing energy for that entire area, then literally everything is cheaper. - 'Cause like, again, I'll go back to the Harviest Seltzer, cans get made in a separate place, that's shipped, that's freight. Flavor house gets shipped to the coat packer, that's freight. Once the coat packer actually makes the product and put it in the can, then it's got to get shipped out to another warehouse, that's freight. And then it's got to get shipped out to currently, and we're in seven states, about to be 12 here in two months. That's more freight on top of that. I mean, it's just, it's endless, so yes, driving down energy is a massive, massive part of this. - Energy and competition. I mean, so like, if you were to price cap, then everybody's immediate, like if you say you can only charge five bucks for this bottle of water, everybody's gonna charge five bucks. Nobody's gonna charge four 59, nobody's gonna charge three bucks, they're all gonna charge five. That's how minimum wage works, right? Most. Until there's competition, so until the B team, the second place or third place or fourth place, whatever company in that competitive circle just decides I'm gonna become number two now, or number one now, or whatever it is by reducing my prices by 30%, right? And now it forces all the other companies to do the same thing. That's what the free market does, right? Capitalism. - Next up on Trump's list here, stop outsourcing and turn the United States into a manufacturing superpower. - So that's twofold. I don't know if he mentions it anywhere else in here, but there's two parts of that. One part of it is to issue a new, in size tax, like an import tax for everybody, right? And people are like, well, that's gonna make products more expensive. Maybe, maybe it does, right, yeah. But we don't want to be sending money to China's economy, doesn't make sense. So if we have to do without our little fucking stupid cha-chis and shit, that's not the worst thing in the world. - There's one way to offset that. - How's that? - Fucking energy. - Oh yeah? - Do you want to offset prices? - Yeah. - Energy. - Absolutely. - Yeah. And then the other part of that is he wants to eliminate the federal income tax as well. So people are gonna have more of their own money to spend. - If that's possible. - It's possible? - Look, I think it is, but who would have to pass that? Would you need, not just Trump to get in, but would you need Congress and Senate as well to be Republican? - That I don't know, let me look it up. - 'Cause to my knowledge, I don't think we've ever done it or even approached that topic. - Well, I mean, income tax is relatively new. - Yeah. - It started, what, in the '19 teens, I believe, right? - But nobody's tried to challenge it since, right? - No, I mean, so this also happened in the 100 years war, right? So it was the case, we've talked about this before and why I don't like a standing army. It's 'cause if you have one, you gotta pay 'em first of all, and two, you gotta fucking find wars to send 'em to all the time to keep 'em busy. So the Roman Empire would just give out, they would conquer new areas and give them land, right? Fine. - But we're not doing that shit anymore, it doesn't work anymore. Medieval Europe, the reason they transitioned from a paid army to a new standing army was because every time the war would end, all you would just have a bunch of armed and unemployed dudes running around fucking shit up. That's not the world we live in anymore, you know what I mean? People aren't gonna go to war, World War II, and then come back to the US and just lose their shit because there's no war to fight. That's not how it goes anymore. So I think we should get rid of that. The standing army, I think we should get rid of it entirely. But it's also the reason that they started taxing people more. So the same war, the 100 years war between France and England, it used to be the case that a French or Roman king would collect taxes anywhere from every five to 25 years, right? Once, one time every five to 25 years, you would pay like 5% of your fucking wealth or whatever the fuck, every, like for maintenance or whatever the fuck, right? Once the 100 years war started because it never really ended, that's when income tax became a real, and property tax became a real ongoing annual thing. That's what started it. And we did without it here in the US for a long time, but it always happens, like these assholes get elected and like, "Oh, we need more money to do this," and they just start taxing your ass. Well, fuck you, dude. If you want, convince me that your cause is just and I'll send you the money. We did in World War II, people were showing up and donating scrap metal to make fucking airplanes and bullets, right? So it's not impossible and it's happened before. I just don't buy this shit that nobody would pay their taxes if they didn't have to. Yeah, let them drive on shitty roads for a while and see how it goes. People aren't going to live in the fucking Thunderdome. Like we're way beyond that stuff. Next up, large tax cuts for workers and no tax on tips. I'm assuming bars, restaurants, and all that other stuff. The only problem with this is, let's say you're using a card, it's usually a 3% tax for using the fucking credit card there, and everybody's cashless right now, you'd have to have the restaurants kind of square that away. Not a terrible idea for sure. Yeah, cut. So right now, France is getting ready. If the communist there can form a government, they're going to impose a 90% tax on any income over $340,000. Yeah, and I heard a bunch of rich people are trying to fill the country. They're all leaving. Yeah. Like, I don't think they're going to be able to actually establish a government probably, but if they do, you're fucked. Say goodbye to PSG. Yeah, yeah. Seriously. A lot of them, man, who was it? Was it Messi, too? That got wrapped up in a tax? That was a Spain. That was a Spain. Okay. Yeah. And then a Shakira got wrapped up. All these other countries are getting wrapped up for Khabib in Russia, and yeah, they're getting wrapped up in this. France and Spain kind of get a little, a lot of Europe gets off the hook for, like, being in Europe, but it's really only Northern Europe that's kind of been, like, stable. France has a crazy history all the way up through World War II. Spain has a fucking gnarly history. I mean, Spain elected communists 10 years ago or 15 years ago or something. Yeah. I mean, these countries are retarded. They're retarded. And then you got Greece and honestly, Italy's not not great either in terms of politics and shit like that. Like a lot of these countries just have the veneer of a first world country, but the politics of a fucking third world country. No, most of Europe is second world, honestly, which is not really a phrase that means anything anymore, but that, I mean, as long as you're in a third world, that means a lot. That means you're drinking the water and shit in your pants. Oh, a third world doesn't really mean anything technically anywhere anyways. I mean, it was a first, second, third world where ways to designate if it was an American country like, or I'm sorry, Western country like America or Russian country or developing like Africa or something like that still means a lot to me in my household. Okay. Next up, defender constitution, our bill of rights and our fundamental freedoms, including freedom of speech, freedom of religion and the right to keep and bear arms sounds normal. Next up, prevent war, war three, restore peace in Europe and the Middle East and build a great iron dome missile defense shield over our entire country. All made in America. Now I've asked you about this in the past regarding an iron dome and if we had one. Yeah, we do. Okay. So why would he say that if he was president of the United States, was he not brief that we have a fucking iron dome? It is needs to be my understanding is it needs to be updated because it can't stop hypersonic missiles. That's probably what he's talking about. Okay. Interesting. I don't know. I don't know anything about the details of the iron dome that the U.S. has, but that's my understanding from people that have worked on the Air Force nuclear program. That's what they say. Okay. Look, prevent war, war three, so here's where this gets interesting to me. If we just stay out of all the wars, is it really a world war then at that point or do we just let these fuckers battle it out and just say, Hey, great. If they ever come over here, we'll just kill them and then just kind of leave it alone, intervening in all this shit would probably only escalate it. And then what's to say another country doesn't tell us to go fuck ourselves because what I find interesting too about the second part is Europe in the Middle East, Middle East for as far as Israel's concerned, I don't hear shit out of them. They're not asking for money. I don't see Netanyahu on the Grammys or line over here. That's because we send them billions of dollars every year for whatever for their military. We do already. Oh, yeah. Okay. Got you. Like as even whether Israel's at war or not, I think we send somewhere between like three and five billion a year to prop up their military. Okay. Why do that? I don't fucking know. I mean, Douglas Murray, I think he's a great writer and journalist, was talking about the sea of the day and Dave Smith kind of lit him up for it. He's like, if Israel were to fall, then Western civilization would fall, it's like, no, it wouldn't, dude. I'm sorry. He was talking about that was the branch that Western civilization rests on. Like, no, English common law is the branch that it rests on. Sorry. Yeah, I like the guy, but that's a ridiculous statement to make. It's histrionics. I've heard that argument as well of if we lose Israel, that's the last country left and everybody will be Muslim. Great, man. Well, then just wall that off too, you know, like, yeah, stop, I mean, the solution is to stop letting Muslims in the United States. Yes. Like, if you come, I have friends that are Muslims that live here, they came here to become American. If you come here to maintain your fucking lifestyle, fuck you. Yeah. You're out. Yeah. Gone. Gone. Yeah, Europe is concerned now, I think he would get into this Ukraine and Russia, Russia sitch pretty easily and say, all right, let's figure out a fucking way to end this. And I think it would be over within a matter of weeks. So do I, to be honest, because he's, he'll straight up tell Zelensky, I'm not giving you more money. You're getting no more money and that's it. You can either fucking come to the table and be a part of determining your future or you can fuck off. Yeah. It'll be one of the two. And I think it'd be very, very quick. Yeah. So for Zelensky, give him a nice out, it would give Russia a nice out. He'll go write a book and make a couple more billion dollars and talk shit about Trump for the rest of his life. Yes. Yep. And with the Middle East as far as Israel and Gaza are concerned, let them figure it out. Why intervene in that part of it? Why even wait in those fucking waters, dude? Who gives a shit? Just don't fund them. Pretty simple. Just don't fund either side. All right. Great. We're not helping you out. Yeah. That'll sort itself out. Either Israel or will fucking figure out a solution to it or somebody will come fuck Israel up. But Israel's got nukes. Yeah. So and everybody knows that and I don't mean to suggest that Israel would just immediately start nuking people. What I am suggesting is that the only real threat to them in that area is Iran and they know Israel has nukes and they know Israel will absolutely nuke their ass, right? So they're not going to like people think the conversation kind of goes back and forth. Well, what if we did this? What if we did this? So we pull out immediately withdrawal all support for Israel, right? It's not our problem anymore. So Israel deals with Gaza and the West Bank, however they see fit, right? Maybe it works out well. Maybe it doesn't for both either side. The presumption is that the Islamic world would step in and do something about it. Well, the only Islamic country that has nukes is Pakistan, right? And we fund their entire government. So I don't know and their military. I don't know that they would necessarily do anything to Israel just because they're worried about us. And to be honest, even if we're not actively involved in Israel, people think that we would retaliate if something, if they did something crazy. So Iran's not going to do anything. We killed Soleimani and just killed another one of their guys. Like the two of their top three generals we've killed in the last four years, they haven't done a goddamn thing about it, right? Because they know they can't. So I don't think, I don't think anything would happen to Israel to be honest. I don't either. They're fine. Just let them duke it out on their own and they'll figure it the fuck out. Yeah, it's like if you have two dogs in your house, like you say you got a dog and then you get a new dog, two male dogs, especially, and you see him like giving each other side eye and circling each other and he keeps splitting them up. It's only going to get worse. You just got to let him fight. You got to let him fight and see who wins. They'll establish an alpha and you can move on about your fucking day and it won't happen again usually. Next up on this is the end of weaponization of governments against the American people. Yeah. That means the end of the FBI to me get rid of it entirely. All the agencies, get them, get them out. What do you do with the DOJ here? The Department of Justice, you need an attorney general who said legal precedent for the country. But you don't, what you don't have to do, because the FBI got created because the president told the attorney general that like, yeah, you can hire some people to do some of this stuff. And then he just started a whole new fucking executive branch or executive agency, excuse me. It's never been authorized by Congress. It can be taken down pretty easily. Next up on this is stop the migrant crime epidemic, demolish the foreign drug cartels, crush gang violence and lock up violent offenders. Yeah. I think we keep the FBI's HRT, like they're SWAT guys, basically, hostage rescue team guys, they're kinetic dudes, and let them go fuck up illegal immigrants. And then put the military on the border, pull our military out of everywhere that it is right now and put them on the border. Yeah. I think that would solve it very, very quickly. I don't think you see a bunch of fucking troops on the border. You're not fucking waiting across those waters anymore. And I don't think the fucking cartels would do shit. The only problem is, well, the cartels will do what the Vietnamese poppy cartels did back in the day. They'll start using soldiers to bring their drugs in, which I'm fine with. As long as the violence is gone, I don't care about the drugs. Let the soldier make some money smuggling cocaine in. I don't give a fuck about that. Let's just make sure the drugs are good. As long as it's not fentanyl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So just test them first and then you can bring the drugs in. Yeah. And I think everybody would be happy with that. Next up, stop the migrant crime epidemic. Demolish the foreign. That's what I already said. That one. Rebuild our cities, including Washington, D.C., making them safe, clean and beautiful again. Fuck that. I like how he said Washington, D.C. Yeah. I don't think we should spend $1 on cities. So you leave San Francisco the way it is for you, in your opinion. Yeah. Chicago and New York can say, all right, correct. Those people voted for that. And do you think those are local problems or state problems? To me, it's a city and state problem, yeah. If you, to me, bailing out cities would be the same as TARP, bailing out banks. Why the fuck would you do that? They fucked up and they need to suffer the consequences of it now. Yeah. That's just how it is, man. Like, you're not going to learn the lesson. I don't think, because most of these are Democrat-run cities anyways, I don't think they would help. They would take Trump's help anyways. Probably not. But you got to offer, I guess. I remember when he had a solution for Chicago and he wanted to bring in the National Guard and they fucking flipped out, but that's the only way to solve it. At that point, I mean, there's nothing else you can do. I mean, nobody's giving up their guns. You've been one of those buyback gun things? Oh, yeah. Some dude, there was an article floating around this week about a guy that made 30 grand by 3D printing guns and showing up to a gun buyback and selling to the city. That's pretty fucking funny. I support that 100%. That's not going to happen here, so yeah. Next up, strengthen and modernize our military, making it without question the strongest and most powerful in the world. Here he's talking about getting rid of all the fucking blue-haired, trans-bullshit. Gotcha. There's also some technological updates, but those really aren't off-track at the moment. The new fighter, the Gen 6 fighter we've talked about is still on course. And most of our other, we got a new main battle rifle contract and a pistol contract. Most of the tech stuff is pretty good. It's just the people that are in charge of it that are not good. Gotcha. Next up, keep the US dollar as the world's reserve currency. Is it in danger of not being the... Yeah, I believe the Russians pulled off the Petro dollar this week, actually. Okay. Any reason why? Because we're funding their enemy in a war. But also, it's the US dollar is becoming very volatile. The reason it's been the Petro dollar for a very long time is because it's been pretty stable since the depression. Next up, fight for and protect Social Security, Medicare with no cuts, including no changes to the retirement age. That was a big talking point on the left, that the Republicans were going to cut Social Security and Medicare in the retirement age. He's saying he does not want that. Next up is cancel the electric vehicle mandate and cut costly and burdensome regulations. Yeah, so there's not just the one where all vehicles have to be electric by a certain date. I think it's 2050 right now. It was bumped up. I think it was 2035 at some point. Yeah, but I think they bumped it to 2050, but I think one of the other parts of this is that a certain percentage of government vehicles, federal vehicles have to be electric as well. I mean, look, let's get rid of the federal government all together. That will save us plenty of money too. But if you're not going to, let's not spend money on shitty fucking electric cars or hybrids and stuff like that. Like fuck off, man. Did you see Kamala Harris pretend to put the charger into the electric vehicle the other day? It was great. You could tell she's never driven one in her entire life. Neither have I either. So for what it's worth, although I still like the Tesla truck. I really do know the cyber truck. It is pointless. I like it. I like it. I don't care. I'll fucking I'll die on that hill. I don't think is there really a problem with like high school looking? Is there really a problem with like hybrids? Not necessarily. That's just an energy. Like a Prius is just a really gas efficient car. Yeah. So I that's a great point. So for me, the most efficient energy car I've ever had was somebody who's dating the past had a Prius. That's gay though. It is. But I think we should get everybody in the country, 67 Camaro's. Well, that would be dope. It's just like fucking get let's get after it. Hear me out on this. So she was gone on business overseas. So I had the car for like a month and I have to fill up that I went and I lived in LA too. My production office was way far away from from Hollywood Hills and I was just my commute every day was 45 minutes and it I never filled up dude. I think I filled up once at the end of the month and it didn't make a sound either to the point where I almost killed somebody to because I was like, I don't even I don't think this thing's on. So I slammed on the gas and have you seen we probably you probably don't have it anymore. But do you remember seeing what the mailmen drove in your old neighborhood? Yes. It's like old shitty it. They don't even have mail trucks out here for the rural post offices. They have like these old crappy like 90s like family, many bands, many bands that I assume are dog shit. I mean, if you're going to saw one today, yeah, I mean, you're going to replace it. I don't know. Maybe that one's fairly. I would say with a hybrid, it's just it's really just gas-efficient. Yes. And it's a besides it looking gay. I don't understand why. You're a mailman drive. Well, me neither. Right. But I'm just saying if you were to get everybody on that tip of the hybrid tip, just make the cars look cool. I think that's the biggest challenge you have with whereas an EV is different where people are still asking the same questions like normal people like normal Americans are asking the same questions. "This is going to drive up my electric bill, is this going to where do I plug it in?" I live in the driveway or the cars in the driveway, how do I put the fucking thing out and everything else? See, that seems like electric vehicles seem like a fucking nightmare to me. Right. Whereas a hybrid is super fucking easy and I've filled up once a month. But to Dan's point, I looked gay and I didn't like that. I didn't like that. So other than that, a car fucking rocked. The Prius rocked. And that was in 2010 for Christ 6, so that was 14 years ago that the fucking Prius rocked. Yeah. It just never made it look cool. Yeah, I had a friend with a Prius and she was in high school and she was like, "I never filled up." Never. It was awesome. She probably never got filled up either because it's gay. Actually, she did the wrong on that one. So you're saying the Jetta's not the thing anymore? Now it's a hybrid, if a girl's in a hybrid, she's a whore. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You used to be the Jetta back. I don't see this anymore. I don't see this anymore. Next up here. Cut federal funding. Cut federal funding. For any school pushing critical race theory, radical gender ideology and other inappropriate racial, sexual or political content on our children. Yup. Yup. Easy. Easy. That's an easy one. And the Department of Education as well. I think he should put the vacant charges department. I think he should put the vacant charge of every department one at a time until that department is shut down. It'd be fun. Just like calling the fucking Terminator. Yeah. And then just have them debate live on TV. Yup. And just say, all right, great. What's going to justify what you're doing here? And then just go live on television with it. It'd be a blast and it'd be a great prime time. And also cheap content. Next up, keep men out of women's sports, 100% agree. So I know why this is in here. Behind the scenes, the Biden administration changed the wording in Title IX to what you identify as and all that other shit. And it's like, just get it out altogether. I'm with that. Deports pro Hamas radicals and make our college campuses safe and patriotic again. How do you do this? How do you know who these people are besides whoever's shown up at a protest? I don't know. That I don't know. But if somebody's here on a student visa, for example, and they're out doing Hamas protests, you can fucking pull the visa anytime you want. You can pull it. The federal government can pull that visa anytime they want for any reason. You don't have any rights. Yeah. You're a fucking immigrant. Yeah. Look, I agree with it. I just don't know how you do it. Well, I mean, the federal government keeps detailed lists of everybody that's here in the country on an F or whatever they're called. I think it's a K-1, actually. But like a student visa. The USAS has those lists. And it also shows their home address, where they go to school. I'm sure it would be easy enough to figure out who they are if they're out there causing trouble getting the fuck out of here. Got you. Next up, secure our elections, including same day voting, voter identification, paper ballots, and proof of citizenship. All right. This has popped up a lot in the last few days with the paper ballots. Why did we get away from them? So you can cheat. But the electric machines aren't easier. So in North Carolina, for example, because I'll just go to the last two elections in different states that I personally voted in. It was easy. You did the thing. You handed it in. And then boom. Taxes with these electronic machines takes fucking forever here. I mean, it's, it's, it's not easy. Yeah. I don't, I like our voting machines. You do? Yeah, they're like fine. And you put a piece of paper, you feed a piece of paper and it punches it while you're punching it. And then it comes out, you check it and then you feed it through another thing. So here's why I don't like it is once I've done it and I've got it in my hands and then I'm putting it into a machine, I don't really know that it's registered or not. I don't, like, I have no idea. I'm trusting whenever the machine's going to do, but when I was doing it by hand and I was turning it in in paper, I was like, all right, cool, man. Yeah. I did this. And then here it is. Yeah, but I mean, in that scenario, you're trusting some 75 year old lady to have counted it properly. Yeah, but if there is a recount, at least you're recounting the same shit and you're not going back to machines or that fake signature, you don't, you don't go back to machines in the Texas system. So you get a number that's associated with your identification, right? And the piece of paper and you take that number, you log into the computer, then you feed the piece of paper and you make all your selections, it spits it out and you take it over to a second group of people and you hand it to them and they put it through the machine and that counts it. But like that's the same as any other way to do it. And then they filed that paper away, I believe. Yeah, they filed away with the receipt and they give you a receipt as well. So I mean, it's pretty, I think they could improve the receipt and have the receipt stamped with a hash or whatever, like an Nd5 hash or something that had all of your specific choices on it. So if we wanted to have an audit, we could fucking do a real audit. I think that might be something. Okay. You'll see how it goes. The only thing I will say about this, that I actually, that was just whatever, but like the one thing I will say about this, is he saying get rid of early voting? No, I don't think so. Because it says same day elections. Yeah, same day voting. Maybe he is, I don't know. Because fuck that. Oh, well, I know, I don't, I don't agree with that. I think we should, should have same day voting. I just think it should be a federal holiday and nobody works. I'd be down with that. Yeah. That being the line. Australia's been doing that for 30 years. Yeah. There's no reason not to do it. Yeah. Now they had Australia started by giving everybody the day off. This is your day to vote. You got to go vote, right? They found out that people would just go to bars and get fucked up. So they had to close the bars down until 7 p.m. That was the second part of that. I think we would probably have to do something. There is, that has happened before in American history. I think I did, I did this in one of our software history episodes. It's happened in a lot of cities. But in St. Louis, I remember because I caught my eye, they, they were every election day without fail. They're by 8 p.m. They would be fucking riots and fights because there'd be like one party's bar district. Usually coincide with your ethnicity, right? So the Irish would go to their bar areas, get fucked up. Everyone would find out the results, get fucking pissed at their side lost. Rumbles in the streets, giant crowds of drunken people beating the shit out of each other because they were mad their side lost or happy their side won or whatever the fuck. So they had to start closing the bars on election day. Smart. Yeah, it's pretty funny. I like that. I like that a lot. And then lastly on this list, this is a top 20 list that he's dropped and we'll get to the point of this at the end here, unite our country by bringing it to new and record levels of success. It seems fairly obvious for anybody who was in there, at least you should want that. But I think the reason why he dropped this plan today is because of this 2025 bullshit, this project 2025 thing. So yeah, Project 2025 tweeted this morning, by the way, that they're not affiliated with Trump. They're just a hundred conservative organizations and this is what they want to see happen in 2025. Now, for me, because I watched so much news late at night because, you know, kids are down like I was, I think I said on sports the other day, kids are down by like 830. So like I'll pop on whatever just in the background late at night while I'm working after the the wife goes to sleep. One of the things that I was watching was, I think it was CBS morning news. All of them are recorded and everything else. They were going hard against JD Vance trying to say, Hey, well, what do you think of this project 2025 and aren't you worried about it and all that, you know, the other thing? And he very calmly pointed out JD Vance did that he goes, Look, Project 2025 isn't Trump. We like nobody has any affiliation with this group whatsoever. Who is the group? First of all, it's just it's a bunch of different groups together, but I think the main group is the Heritage Foundation and yeah, they're involved in conservative politics every single year. Okay. They always happen, but they're like, there's a bunch of crazy bullshit in there. It's all religion. It's the religious right. Gotcha. Basically. Gotcha. So with that being said, I know Trump and the Republicans, like JD Vance and those guys are trying to distance themselves from this. I don't know where this came from. I don't know this group at all. I'm not really familiar with the Heritage group, to be honest with you. But here's how they're trying to push this on everybody else. If you go to Joe Biden's Twitter, Bob, on Malcolm X there or whatever we're calling it, go to Joe Biden's Twitter. Hold on. I want to point out one important thing in Project 2025. Sure. Yeah. They want to ban porn. Yes. They say porn is not protected by the First Amendment. Yeah. They're wrong, by the way. Yeah. They're wrong with that. No wonder Trump's against it. Yeah. The Supreme Court, I believe, has already ruled on that. Yeah. But it go to Joe Biden's Twitter here, I believe it was three hours ago, there it is. He says, "Google Project 2025," or somebody obviously typed that in for him there. So clearly they're trying to push this thing, whatever the fuck this is. But again, Republicans Trump himself has said, "We have no affiliation with this fucking group whatsoever." So I think the reason why he dropped that list that we just read off is to combat this, because they're trying to make this a thing. But truthfully, I hadn't heard about it, so the media started bringing it up over the weekend. Well, there's two things that were part of the, this is the RNC's list, by the way. Okay. Trump's list is. There are two things that often find their way on to the list that aren't anymore, that's kind of making some conservatives angry. One of them is about gay marriage. I don't know. That was even still a fucking debate, because the Supreme Court's ruled on it. That's over. Yeah. Also, I have no fucking court. Bipartisan law was passed federally that every state has to recognize gay marriage. They don't have to keep it legal, because they, I don't, that's overreach, I believe. But the law, which again, like Republicans voted for it to some Republicans, if people get gay married in California, Texas would have to recognize them as a married couple. Yeah. That is the law. One is that he doesn't mention a federal ban on abortion. As a matter of fact, Trump came out recently and said that he doesn't support a federal ban on abortion, that it's been returned to the States. He said that during the debate. That's the right answer. Yeah. That is precisely the right answer. It is federalism. It's our system of government. The end. There's no more fucking debate on that. There's no constitutionality to a federal ban on abortion. Any more than there's constitutionality to a federal ban on fucking assault weapons. You may agree with one and disagree with the other, and that's fine. But the constitution says what it says. The other part of that is Trump, by appointing those three justices, has done more to limit abortions than any Republican in the history of this country, by a wide fucking margin. Like a lot of these fucking dumb-ass conservatives, and it may be all bots, to be honest. It may not even be real people, but a lot of people, conservative people on the internet, are saying, I'm never going to vote for Trump now because this or whatever the fuck is like, because of abortions. You've done more to limit abortion than any Republican that you've been voting for for the past 50 years, who've been running on that, is a single issue in a lot of cases. I'm going to end abortion. No, you're not. No, you're not. And I think it was Pence that came out today and said, why you shouldn't vote for Trump, is he's pro-something, some form of pill or something like that, and he's, I mean... I mean, like the hardcore religious people want to get rid of IVF too, right? Because you develop a couple of embryos, and you stick them onto the uterine wall, and whichever one sticks, stick the other one's go away, they die, right? It's not the right word for it, but they go away. They think that's murder, because as soon as Trump touches eggs, that's a fucking Jesus throws a lightning bolt of a soul into it or some bullshit. I don't know what these fucking people believe, but stay home. Stay home and don't vote and see what happens. It just happened in France, right? Fucking hit the eject button on normalcy because you're fucking dumbass, fundamentalism, and see if you don't end up with some kind of fucking communist socialist government. You idiots. On France, do the people vote or is it the parliament that votes? The people vote. Oh, they do. Okay. I'm sorry, the political party that got the most votes by far, actually, was the quote unquote far right one. But then you get the most seats because of interference, really, is what it was. Strategic, obviously, on Macron's part to give up all of his shit, but whatever, man. Now is the point of the show we get to the drink in, bro, of the week due to the violent hurricane that has just ripped through our city and our faces and bodies and taints and balls, pussies and ball sacks and skin grass, all that, all that other stuff, guys. There is nobody that was able to drive into this. We don't have anybody in the studio today. Obviously, everybody was afraid of their hurricane. Stay home. Stay safe. I'm fine with that. However, you can submit for drinking, bro, of the week on drinking bros.com. While you're over there, Bob, pull up the old drinking bros.com site, got a bunch of new tees. A lot of people were asking for these foam hats. They're in there. These are my favorites. These foam truckers, the ones that I'm wearing now, the foam hard AF hats are in there, tons of new t-shirts, bro boxes in there, pull up that convicted felon's shirt. That one's doing really well for us right now for Trump 2024 there. Or if you're on the left, you could wear that too. People will ask. People will ask which way. And then the bro box. The bro box is, boom, right in front of me on the computer here. He's subscribed to that and you get new items every single month. The sunglasses were dope. My child took them. He was like, "Dad, these are sweet. Can I have them?" And I was like, "Yeah. You can have them." I'm sure there's more on the way here. I hope so. I like the sunglasses. It reminds me of the Dion Sanders ones. Mm-hmm. Big fan, dude. Big fan. Who did that? Yeah. Big fan, dude. Way to go, Brandon. But the bro box is up there and we'll be doing some giveaways soon. We might be giving away our pair of sandals here pretty soon as well. And then eventually we're going to just kind of hide cans of hardy F in some of these boxes. So maybe a can once the new flavors come out. They're done, by the way. Yeah. We'll pop them in some boxes and then have some fun. You just open it up and then whoopsies. There's a can of hardy F seltzer in there. Just don't tell anybody. Okay, because it's illegal. And on drinkabros.com, you will see a submission form for drinkabro the week. It gets emailed to his live on air and then boom, there you have it. I'll read it. This one was submitted by Drew Ballard, North Carolina. It's been a listener for six years, nominating Tom McDonald, living. So he says, "Is that the rapper?" I'm assuming. Yeah, maybe. His stance on America and his post on the 4th of July, 2024, is spot on and that's all. What did Tom McDonald post on? Oh, who knows? He's always posting something on Twitter, I wonder. Yeah, we've actually had a lot of fucking requests to have him on the show. I don't know him, personally. I don't know anybody that does. I don't either. I don't know his reps. We would love to have him on. You guys have asked for years. Totally down. We just don't know him, actually. And I'll read one more here, since this one's from Texas and everybody's dying in the hurricane out there. We've had no rain, no wind or anything, but we did lose internet today and thoughts and prayers. I'll go out to us and everybody that works in the studio here. Dring abroad submission from Casey Martin from Texas, been a listener for four years, and he's nominating Lucinda, who's living. And that's his DB of the week. I've ordered Moink. Oh, shit. He's talking about Lucinda from Moink. Okay, great. So, I think since my daughter was about four months old, I have fed her Moink meat since then, and she's very healthy and happy. I feed my buddy and his family all the time. We all love the meat. You guys are the tits. Thank you for the hard work. Thank you for the recommendations from Moink. Stay classy, boys. Also July 4th is Stella's first birthday. I'm happy for her growth, and I'm most importantly proud of me for keeping her alive for a year. Happy birthday, Stella. Cheers. It's a nice milestone. It is, because it really is about the father, and I tell my wife that all the time. Women are just kind of the vessels for the children to come out to the world, but it's us. Yeah, I don't. I'm really doing all of that. You don't congratulate the oven on baking the cake. Seriously. I was going to say nobody fucking thinks about the vending machine after they open it back. The chips. They're thinking about lays, right, where the seed came from in the first place. Oh man. That's great. Oh, Jesse's not listening to this episode. Either way, safe safe out there. We survived the hurricane together. No one knows when this episode will air because of the dangers out there in the streets of Austin. We have no idea, but it'll come out eventually. Okay, thoughts and prayers, emoji hands for all of us. We love you out there. Thanks for tuning in. Go to iTunes, rate the show of five star, and leave a quick review. Also head on over to Spotify. It's just a five star. Walk away. For Anthony, Anthony Holloway. I'm Ross Patterson. This is the Drinking Bros podcast. Good night. [music] Looking for a financial institution that has fewer fees, better rates, and gives back to the local community? As one of Colorado's largest credit unions, BellGo offers great rates on products like our free, boost interest checking and lower rates on loans, including our home equity choice line. Bank virtually anytime, anywhere, through online banking and our mobile app. Becoming a member has never been easier. 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