The Manic Candice Podcast
If My Child Was Obese
[MUSIC] >> Hello, hello, hello, welcome to the Manic Candice Podcast. It's your girl Candice, back at it again with a brand new episode of the podcast. And today, this morning, this evening, this afternoon, this good night, we're going to discuss what I would do if I had an obese child. We're going to discuss childhood obesity, the causes of childhood obesity, and how to address childhood obesity. And in the mix, we're going to discuss my experience growing up overweight and obese, and how that transformed into adulthood. And just me thinking about, hey, if I had a child, I would do XYZ to make sure that they would not go through this in their life. So, one in five children in the United States, right now, in 2024, are obese. Not just overweight, medically obese. So, obesity is a weight condition where you can't seem to lose weight. You have a very low activity, lifestyle. And basically, you eat more than you should. And it's very hard to stop that, and that's what obesity is. It's devastating, especially to a child, because a child knows when they're fat. Especially when the whole world is telling them they're fat. Through the way they shop for clothes, through their peers at school, through bullies at school, through online social media apps like Tumblr and Pinterest showing skinny pictures of bodies, of women calling it thinspo. We're going to discuss what I would do if I had an obese child. Not to prevent an obese child, but what I would do if I had an obese child. And I have just all the compassion for parents out there listening to this. If you know someone that is a child and they're obese, and they're your child or they're someone else's child, like take a listen. I have some valuable things to say. I have a lot of insight personally. And I did some research on what to do and how to address childhood obesity. These were things that were not done with me. My childhood obesity was not addressed properly, and it bleated into adulthood. And it caused me to, me not learning about obesity as a child and me not being proactive about my obesity as a child, caused me to. Well, I should say my parent, my guardian, not being proactive about it when I was a child, caused me to be an obese adult and caused me to get misinformation out there. And like, there was just a lot of suffering that I didn't have to endure. If my weight was addressed, head on. So let me just kind of give you a background about my childhood as an obese child. Um, this is the biggest bone I have to pick with my family about raising me. There is no existing childhood photo of me without me eating something. I kid you not every childhood photo of me. I'm either eating ramen noodles or I'm eating adult food as a baby. Um, full on adult sized portions of food. And it just upsets me that they let me get so big. They allowed me to get so big and they thought it was cute. They called me fat one. Um, and it damaged me. I became anorexic by the time I was 16. Um, I went from 186 pounds to 123 pounds in a summer, um, by not eating and by overly exercising. And it's because I wasn't given any good boundaries when it came to food. Nobody told me no, nobody told me that's enough. Nobody told me you can't have that right now. Nobody took me on a walk. Nobody sat me down and said, Hey, kid, you're big. It's time to stop being big. I wish, I wish someone really had the balls. I wish someone really had the heart to tell me I was a big, big girl and that it wasn't going anywhere positive. Everyone around me was like chubby cheeks, chubby cheeks. You're so cute. You're so cute. Oh, Gina, she's so cute. She's so cute. That's my mom's name. And like, so I grew up thinking that it was acceptable to be this way, to be fat and that anyone who was calling me fat was just being mean. Not only were they being mean, they were being truthful. You got to be honest with yourself. If you have a fat child, if you have an obese child, you have to take ownership that it is your fault. And to a certain extent, it can become abuse. If you are doing things to actively keep your child obese, because some, believe it or not, some families, they think that a sign of a healthy child is a fat child. So they won't deny children food every time they ask for it, even if it's their second or third helping, even if it's the six time they ate throughout the day. I've picked up some nasty habits from adults around me that are also obese. And just the fact that my family celebrates with food, which is not a good thing in the long run. Everyone in my family is obese or overweight. So we're going to talk a little bit later about the causes of childhood obesity and genetics and family exposure to bad habits is the top two causes of childhood obesity. I was told that when I was little that the reason why I was fed ramen noodles a lot and the reason why I wasn't given a proper diet was because they couldn't afford to feed me properly. And I just call bullshit on that because if you could afford college, if you could afford vehicles, if you could afford to buy me baby clothes, you could afford to feed me right. Why are you giving me ramen noodles, which at that time adjusting for inflation would have cost seven cents per pack. So you're feeding me 21 cents per day. I'm being fed off 21 cents per day of ramen noodles and that's how I got obese as a child is just poor management, poor nutrition management from my family. If you have an obese child, no deep down that it's your fault. Know it, know it is your fault. Your child didn't ask you to be here. Your child didn't learn these habits. You taught your child these habits of overeating, not recognizing when they're full, drinking sugary drinks. You know, just like nasty habits, eating late at night. We'll get into the nasty habits later on, but like if I had an obese child, I would do everything in my power to help them get to their body goals. Because I know deep down in that child's mind, they have a body goal. I had one. I became obsessed with weight loss at the age of six years old. I mean, completely at that time, I was eight. I was doing body beach body workouts. I was doing turbo jam. By the time insanity came out when I was 14, I was doing insanity off beach body with Sean T. I was doing the Tracy Anderson method. I was, like I said, turbo jam. I was constantly at the gym with my mom at the Y. But by that time, I was already, I already developed an unhealthy relationship with food. See, no one recognized that I already had a bad relationship with food, judged based off how big I was. You could tell very evident, like it was very clear I had a bad relationship with food based off how big I was. I mean, I had a triple chin. I had chubby cheeks. I had fat above my knees. I had a huge ass. I had, like, triple foot bars. And I had flabby arms as a child. And I was teased a lot. And in order for me to not get teased anymore, do you know what I did? I became a bully. I became that big bully that you feared. I didn't hit anybody, but I didn't want to go there. Like, people would throw rocks at me and call me fat. And the minute people started throwing rocks at me is when I had it, when I just completely had it. So, if you have a child right now and they're obese and they go to school, they go to public school, I'm guaranteed they're getting teased. They feel uncomfortable and they hate it every single hour of the day. And there's no one to blame but the parent. Like I said earlier, I think at some point, if you're over feeding your child and they are obese, it's abuse. It's abuse. Especially if you call your child names, like I was called names. It's abuse. Now, my family has profusely apologized towards me, by the way that they treated me when I was an infant up until adulthood. You know, it wasn't until I became anorexic that I got my first apology from my family for treating me, how they treated me, and for feeding me, how they fed me. That was the first apology I got and it was when I became anorexic. So, don't wait until your child is bulimic. Anorexic has body dysmorphia, has low self-esteem, has no compassion towards themselves, are overly exercising, highly critical of their bodies. Don't wait until it's too late, until your child is doing that to themselves every day to make a change. So, here are the causes of childhood obesity. It's genetics. It's diet and exercise, lack of exercise, nutrition, lack of nutrition, environmental factors, and psychological factors. To get a little bit more in depth with that, for the genetic factors, children with parents who are obese are more likely to become obese due to genetic predisposition and shared family habits. Like I said, eating late at night is a bad habit for obese children. Eating seconds and thirds is a bad habit telling your child that they have to finish the plate or else is a bad habit, is a formation of a bad habit. The metabolism could be a genetic factor that affects how your child body converts food into energy and how it stores fat. So, these are the genetic factors of what can cause childhood obesity. The second is diet and nutrition. High calorie and low nutrient foods, consumption of sugary foods like sunny D, apple juice, grape juice, anything at the gas station, Gatorade, fast food, all fast food, Jimmy John, sad salad and go, all the fast foods and snacks, fruit snacks. Even the healthy ones, the granola bars, the low calorie ones, the 100 calorie packs, they're all bad. Portion sizes are larger and can contribute to excess calorie intake. Obese children are being fed a higher portion of food for each meal than non-obese children, that's just a fact. In order to maintain a body size that is obese, you have to be eating just as much or more calories than your body needs to maintain that weight, and that if obese children are remaining obese, then they are meeting their calorie intake for the day every day, and if not more. Children who are physically obese, they have an increased screen time, meaning they're more likely to be on the television, video games or computers, resulting in a reduced physical activity. They're not outside, they're not riding bikes, they're not going for walks, they're not involved in practice, for sports, dance, any physical activity, it's just a zero. Environmental factors, there's a lack of availability for healthy food. Look, I get it, that healthy foods cost money, more money than say fast food and is more convenient, is less spending money on healthy food and preparing healthy food for your children is less convenient than cheaper, less nutrient, less and more calorie dense foods, meaning fast food. I know it's easier to get McDonald's and to make spaghetti at home. I know that, but your child's life literally depends on that convenience being eliminated. Would you rather have a moment of convenience or would you rather have an obese child? Think about it that way. Psychological factors, emotional eating, some kids, they can develop a coping mechanism with food, which is what I did. If we use food as a way to cope with stress, boredom or emotions, families, dynamics and habits and attitudes towards food can heavily influence a child's behavior. So, like I said, my family celebrated with food. If I got something like a straight A's, we all went out to eat. That was like, "Oh, okay, someone did something amazing. My mom got a promotion. We're going out to eat." And we're not only going out to eat, we're not giving a fuck about calorie this, diet that, exercise this, we're going all out, we're getting extra cheese, we're getting soda, regular soda, we're going to get dessert. It's just, that's the way my family celebrates and that contributed to my obesity. Childhood obesity had a lot of consequences for me and it affected my self-esteem the most and that lack of self-esteem affected my compassion towards myself. So, whenever I tried to do anything in life, I was always hard on myself. I always doubted myself because I was fat, because I was obese. Because if I tell myself, if I can't get together, if I can't control, if I'm the one that controls what goes into my body and that is out of control, that is out of my control, then what makes me think I can do XYZ, what makes me think I can be a lawyer, what makes me think I can be a good student, what makes me think I can pass the bar in Arizona, what makes me think I can get into law school. So that being overweight and not being able to show up for yourself, at the child, that way is heavy, no pun intended, because you don't realize as a child that it's not your fault. That you have someone that is responsible for how your life is going to turn out by the time you're 18, that oversaw you eating your life away and did nothing to intervene. Blame your parent. If you're a parent and your child is obese, your child is under 18, it is your fault. I'm sorry. I say that with the most love, I say that with the most compassion. If your child is 678, pass 150 pounds and they're like 5 foot. You know, let's say they're 200 pounds, 220 pounds, 300 pounds. How did you let your child get that big? I ask you as an obese child, how did you let them get that big? Knowing how society treats them, knowing how doctors look at them, knowing how fat people look at themselves, it's not fun. I know there's a whole body positivity movement and fat positivity movement, but all that affirmation and stuff, it doesn't take the weight away. All that manifesting, all that positive affirmation, all that accepting, doesn't take type 2 diabetes away, doesn't take sleep apnea away, doesn't take plus size away, being plus size away. You know how devastating it is for a woman to be plus size? When she makes that transition from being a non plus size to a plus size, it's a reality check. And it sucks to have to shop in a section or to not be able to shop at all because you're plus size. I'd be damned if my child was plus size, and I say that with the most pride, and I say that as an obese child, and I say that as an overweight adult on fucking olympic. Let me tell you about my journey with olympic. It's been 10 days? No, it's been 8 days. I lost 12 pounds. It's been 8 days and I lost 12 pounds. I'm drinking a lot of water. I'm trying to avoid things like tempting things in the house like pizza and instant noodles. It's crazy that as an adult that instant noodles and pizza are still my enemies are still my weaknesses when it comes to losing weight. And that is psychologically rooted in my childhood. That's crazy to me. That's absolutely crazy. So being obese as a child, it could lead to a few consequences, and I'm going to list them. It's low self esteem, type 2 diabetes, heart problems, breathing problems, joint and muscle problems, social stigmatization, anxiety and depression, persistence in adulthood and reduced life expectancy, y'all. The biggest message I want to emphasize and get out there, if you're a parent to an obese child, is that their life expectancy is now lower because of what you fed them and what you've allowed them to feed themselves. So what we can do to begin to unpack childhood obesity is to start with the parents, is to start taking accountability as a parent, saying, I let my child get obese. And once you admit that, you can take ownership in what you buy and what you put in the home. You can take ownership and you can have confidence when your child starts to complain about, hey, where's the fast food? Hey, how come I have to start exercising? Hey, how come I have to eat healthy and drink water? They're not going to like it. They're going to hate it. And they're going to hate you for it, but they're going to love you for it in the end once they're my age. Once they get to realizing some shit, once they get to have some joint problems and muscle problems and once they have to pay for $500 for ozempic, shots. Don't let it get that far. If your kid resents you for bringing in new healthy habits or trying to let them resent you, you're the fucking parent, act like it, scan in your authority. No, we're no longer going to be eating past 6pm. We're no longer going to be staying on PS5 till 12am. I don't care for summer break. We're going on a walk. You're getting in basketball. You're getting in soccer. You're getting in dance. I'm buying you a bike and we're going biking every night. You got to take responsibility as a parent. If your child turns out obese and turns out to have a less life expectancy and is given all of these list of health problems because of what they were taught to put in their mouth and how much and how often it's your fault as a parent. So it's your duty if they are still a child to make sure that they lose that weight. What are some ways that we can, you know, kind of reverse this? How do we address this? Healthy eating habits. Number one, get a balanced diet, emphasize fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins and healthy fats. Find out what your child likes to eat and make a healthy version of that. Start off with by doing that. If your child is heavy into chicken nuggets, heavy into the fried patties, heavy into, you know, try making those options without the bun. Try a leaner cut of meat. Try reduce fat milk. Try Greek yogurt instead of regular yogurt. You know, find out what they like, but focus on fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats and healthy fats. Porsche control, teach appropriate portion sizes. What you get at the restaurant and what you've been feeding your child thus far is not the appropriate amount if your child is obese. It's not. Find out what three ounces of meat looks like in chicken, beef, fish, nuts. Get a smart, I've seen some smart scales on TikTok that are really amazing. You can put anything on there, don't have to input anything and knows what it is and it gives you the calories based off the weight. It's awesome. Limiting sugary drinks and snacks, you know, reduce the intake of high-calorie, low nutrient foods like soda. Soda is a big contributor to fat because the calories are empty and it converts into sugar. So, and that sugar converts into fat. And that goes for plain soda and diet soda. And even soda made with stevia. I don't think there's any type of soda that's healthy out there. Your child is going to need some psychological support, positive reinforcement. As a parent, you're going to have to focus on positive changes and achievements. If your child is taking liking to new foods that are healthy, praise that if your child looks different by losing weight. Praise that. Don't be afraid to praise weight loss. It's a good thing. I don't know where we fell into a society where praising weight loss became an insult. It's somewhere to come up to me right now in 2024 and say, Candice, I noticed you lost about 10 pounds. You look good. I'd be like, I did lose 10 pounds, about 10 pounds. And thank you so much. I wouldn't take it as an insult at all. And I don't know where society has fallen so far that getting a compliment like acknowledging an accomplishment is an insult. I don't get that. So, the whole family is going to have to get involved in order to change those bad habits into some healthy ones and create an overall supportive environment. Consult with pediatricians, dieticians and therapists for personalized guidance. As the weight falls off, your child is going to have to adjust to a new identity, a new way of looking at themselves, a new positive way of looking at themselves. Don't let their old ways of looking at themselves when they looked worse and when they were obese. Let that mindset come to them with them in this new body, in this new way of existing, in this new way of being, this new era of their life. So, I encourage you to get your child a therapist as they are losing weight. You know, you can make sure that, you know, the house is always stocked with healthy snacks and encourage water and encourage, you know, cooking at home and not eating out. Teach your child about the importance of healthy eating. Don't just say we're making these changes just because, you know, really share with them where you're coming from. Your child's going to appreciate it the old they get. I know a lot of parents, they don't know how to dumb down things for their child to understand, but children these days are so smart. I promise you they're going to get it. I promise you they've already thought about it. Or, especially if your child is suffering from teasing at school, your child is hyper aware of what they look like. I hope you know that. So, in summary, childhood obesity is a complex issue influenced by genetic dietary, physical, environmental and psychological factors. You guys carries a significant health risk and can impact a child's physical and emotional well-being like it did mine. Addressing childhood obesity requires a comprehensive approach that involves the whole family. That includes promoting healthy eating, encouraging physical activity, providing psychological support like a therapist, and creating a supportive environment. Involving the whole family and seeking professional help are crucial steps in helping children achieve and maintain a healthy weight. So, with my osmec, I am heavily supported, but I'm not a child anymore. You know, after a certain age, after I turned 18, I had no more excuses as to why I remained obese and overweight. Because up until 18, it was my mom's responsibility to raise me, and when I turned 18, when I became my own adult, I take responsibility and begin my journey on weight loss. It's been a hell of a journey. I have had times where I've been 150 pounds. I have had times on this journey where I weighed 217 pounds. I had time on this journey where I've remained 180 pounds for years. I've had times on this journey where I lost 30 pounds in two months. I've had times on this journey where I lost no weight at all and just kept gaining. But on this journey, where it is now, it is now on osmec. I know in the beginning of the year, I told you guys not to do osmec. But it's hard when everyone in the house is on osmec, except you, and no one tells you. So, here you are doing everything you can to lose weight, and everyone around you is just dropping their fat. And no one told you around you that they're on osmec. So, everyone in the house pictured this. I'm crying about my weight. I'm damn near about to start shopping in plus size. I am crying because I just keep gaining weight no matter what I do. I find out my aunt's on osmec, and the fat is melting off of her, and I'm getting jealous, and I'm trying not to be. But how could I not? My mom is getting skinnier by the day, and she's smaller than me at this point, and I'm just like, "When did that happen?" We go to Vegas, I find out they're all on osmec. So, I demanded my mother to buy me an osmec, and I lost 12 pounds after being on it for eight days. I'm going to stay on it, because I feel like if I get off it, I'll just gain it back. But in the meantime, I've got to build, I've got to practice what I preach. I've got to build these habits that are good, that are nutritious, that are healthy, that are rooted in physical activity, some of them. But if I had an obese child, it'd be 100% my fault, and this episode, I outlined what I would do and why. You owe your child a good life. You owe your child a happy childhood. You do. I know some of you may feel differently. I know some of you may feel bitter that you have a child, and that you don't owe your child shit. Some of you have that attitude, but that has probably something to do with something else beside your child. Because your child is innocent and didn't ask to be here, and didn't ask to be obese, especially. Who wants to be obese? Who strives to be obese? Don't cut your child's life short. This has been Candice with the Man at Candice podcast. Thank you for listening. I know this has been a touchy subject, so please share with your friends, family, and your followers who you think would benefit from this. Good morning, good evening, good afternoon, good night. Whenever and wherever you're listening, my friends, and I bid you a do. Bye-bye.