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Shoboy After Party 123
[MUSIC PLAYING] Make your family's goals and dreams a reality. Watch our Musk on Fidelity special, featuring some of our Latino associates talking about life, family, and how their upbringings shape their money habits. Get tips and insights to help you budget, save, invest, and plan for retirement. Watch at fidelity.com/months. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] [MUSIC PLAYING] [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] Thank you for hanging out with us. Feliz Omblito, la Cimana. We got Primavane, Kim, Eddie, Micho, ready for to go. So today on the show, we were talking about your worst dates. And I don't think anybody can beat Primavane's worst date, but Kim says she's going to try. Primavane, for those that did not hear today's actual radio show, get the puzzle into date. You're out. And where did you meet this guy? Let's start there. I met him. I met him online. Like a dating app? Or literally a website? I met him on a dating website. Yeah, a dating app, or a dating app, or whatever. And from there, we were chatting in the app. And then he followed me on Instagram. So then we moved it from the app to us messaging on Instagram, DM-ing. And then we met up for the date. But he basically asked me, long story short, basically asked me if I was a man, like a transgender. That's crazy. And I was-- Right. And I was-- Yo, the balls. Don't take him back. It's not that crazy, because Sis is like what they use as a term for a pronoun or to define. No, but I'm saying it like Sis Armana, like Sis. Hey, Sis, Sis, Sis. Explain that in a second, Primavane. But I'm saying the balls for a dude to be on a date and literally ask the person across from them that they just met, hey, by any chance, are you a man? Well, it was-- Is wild to me. But then he-- It's a good clarifying question. On the first date? OK, hold on. Yes, Kim, I guess. Point, I was totally taken back because I had never been asked that question before. Right. We were not sitting across from each other because our-- My date-- Primavane, because it's obvious that you're a woman. So that's why nobody's ever asked you that before. But you were saying you were not sitting next to each other? No, no, no. We didn't go on, I guess, a normal date. And honestly, I should have realized it from the beginning that he was, like, sus because we-- of course, I smoke. So a typical date or a hangout for a stoner is like, oh, let's just meet up and smoke. So he picked me up. And when he picked me up, he was a little shorter than what he said on the website. You're the liar. Right. I'm like, dude, are you a man? Are you a man? But anyway, so that would have been the red flag right there, number one. And then number two, when it was time for us to smoke, he said we were going to go to a lookout point, which I was down for, you know? Everyone loves a little cute moment. Right. He, like, pulls up. It was not a lookout point. It was, like, we're, like, overlooking, like, it was not-- Somebody's back, girl. Yeah, it was bad, right? I was like, this ain't no hill. Like, oh my gosh. Anyway, but yeah, so we were actually-- we were already at the lookout point. At this point, we had relocated. I was like, dude, I know a spot. Let's go. We pulled up to the spot. We're walking up. So we're in, like, a mountain. So I had never met this man before, so I was like, dude, I need to be careful how I move, because I don't know him. Yeah, we're to the wise guys when you're going on online date. Don't go to, like, the middle of the forest on your first day, like, Pima Vanna Day, just to have a view. Yeah, and if you do, make sure your girls have your location. Like, they do for me. But anyways, so, yeah, we're walking. And he just, yeah, straight up asking me. He's like, yeah, I just-- I have a question, and the me over here thinking, like, oh, my god. It was going to ask me, yeah. And then he just said, are you a man? And I'm like, no. Was he looking at you in the eyes when he asked that? Or was he looking down, like, towards your package? He was actually looking at my boobs. Like, and I'm just thinking, like, does he think I'm wearing, like, a chest piece or something? Like, I mean, I have boobs, you know what I mean? Like, not like other women that you can tell is what I'm saying. Not like other women. No. So, boy, you're like a double D? Me, Joe. No, I'm like a sea cub, a good solid sea cub, 36 C. Yeah, but then I questioned him. I was like, dude, what the heck? What made you think it was okay for you to ask me if I was a man? And he's like, no, honestly, it was because you have SIS on your page. And I was like, okay. On your Instagram bio, you have SIS. Correct. Next to your name. Vanessa Sis. Right. He's like, oh, you have SIS on there. And I'm like, yeah, because like, call people SIS, like, Edmana, like sister, like, short for sister. And he's like, oh, I get it. He's like, well, then part two, he's like, I went on a date one time. We were hitting it off. And then we go to hook up and I find that down there, right, it was going to be in a spa lasso fight. Yeah. And he was like, and I, at that point, he's like, I was thrown off and I just, I, it was a very uncomfortable situation. He's like, so moving forward from there, it just like, I'm not going to ask everybody. Right. So he thought it was a pronoun for SIS. Yeah. Like, that's, what is it called, SIS gender? Yes. Right. Which SIS gender, I believe, is when you are, when you date somebody of opposite, like a male and a female, I think, I think, would it be heterosexual? Well, not even, it's not even SIS. Sorry. It's not even SIS. SIS. I think it's C. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, dude, it's not even spelled the same. Isn't that a TV show? Were they investigate stuff? I am. All about that. I got to ask, though, if that happened to him, I think it's a valid question nowadays. Like, I think it's valid to ask. Okay. So get a model. What do you think? Yeah. Denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex registered for them at birth in lame terms, not transgender. So someone who's not transgender. So I'm, so that to say I am what I am. Right. Yeah. That's crazy. This gender is what you are. Right. But even then if I have SIS on my thing, then that means I'm a girl and I'm saying I'm a girl fool. Like, are you stupid? Are you dumb? Like, I feel bad for him. From imagine that happened to you. Like, I wouldn't care. I would ask everyone. But in my body, what happened after he said that? Like, did you leave on the spot or did you just like, in my face, you know what I did? No. The rest of the blood. And then to start, he was like, Oh yeah, I got in. He did not have any ends on the blood. Like he what's that? I don't know what. Okay. Okay. So when you're a stone or whatever, it's like, Oh, you got ends meaning you're going to roll it. You're the blunt that we smoke heat. It's from his stash. And he said that he had it that he was going to roll it. So then we go to roll it. He passes way to roll. I was like, Oh, this ain't enough. Like, what do you mean? Yeah. Right. So then I ended up rolling my stuff. And then I was like, I'm already out there. I'm going to smoke. We smoked. And then he like comes over to hug me. I was like super uncomfortable. So I was just like, he hugged me from the back. Thank God that I wasn't like facing him. He's still checking. He's like, I'm going to go from the back of some case like for real. I mean, I, I ended up making out with him just because it was like a pity makeout just because I was there. I was like, but I did not. He was like trying to meet up afterwards. And I just was not into it just because I was like, dude, even then too, if you thought I was transcended, like you, I mean, not, not like it, like that's completely fine. But if he's over here making a stink about it, like, Oh, are you? You still agreed to come on the date if you thought or not, like, you know, without knowing the answer. So do you think it's more comfortable to ask somebody over text or DM instead of like when I go on my first day in person, like what? What they identify as? Yeah, I would just cause then you don't waste that other person's time and I'd say, Hey, I want to be respectful of your time to make sure we're on the same page. Are you a man or a birth given man or a person woman? I don't know. What do you identify as? I don't know. It's kind of exciting to find out. Yeah. I was going to say, I think I would wait. Did I surprise? Well, I don't know. That's a trip to that. It's crazy to think about too, because there are like, you know, men that were born female that identify as males, that completely look like a man. Yeah, for sure. And vice versa. There's girls that completely look like girls. And if they're on a date, you know, are they going to disclose that? I mean, I honestly personally would, I guess I wouldn't want to know. Really? I mean, I don't think that's a first day combo. I think that's like, I mean, and well, that's a thing like they want to be seen as a person, not as they're what they identify as, you know, like they want to be treated. But don't you? The thing which is fair, sure. But don't you think it's the person's responsibility, whomever, either change their sex or their identity or their sexual preference, don't you think they should let the other person known in advance? Yes. I think it's like when you have kids, it's like when you have kids and you're going on a date, like, do I have to tell you, hey, I have a five-year-old, like, why don't you have to do it? Why don't you get to know me first? And then I will disclose what I do. I don't know. This is a very tricky conversation. That's interesting. And I feel like none of us can really speak on it since we don't identify as anything else. No, that's true. Yeah. Sexual preferences aren't different. We are not part of the LGBTQ+ community, meaning that, you know, we're all heterosexuals here. But I think we can talk about the fact that if we were to go on a date and we are on a date with somebody from the LGBTQ+ community, they should give us a heads up, you know, which letter they are. I think it's also -- but it's a equal -- everybody has an equal responsibility. And so that's where I -- if they say they don't disclose, like, it's up to you. When you say they, somebody identifies as they, or they as in everybody. As in everybody. Whoever is sitting in that tape and not here. Yes, you have an equal responsibility to ask. And I don't think anybody's -- now you're going to have me out here asking. I'll be like, "Let me see if it's real." Yeah. I mean, it is a very interesting conversation, for sure. Let me test it out. I just -- guys, I'm just -- I'm so -- I'm so gay, but I'm so -- I'm gay, isn't happy. And glad that I am married, because dating sounds complicated as hell. It's not just for this combo, but just in general. Right. [ Foreign Language ] It's a struggle. Hey, you have any homies? Hook me up. I saw -- I tried. [ Foreign Language ] We tried, too, with that one homie. What homie? The one that's like -- On the barbershop? No. The barbershop? The homie at your birthday party? Do you remember every -- No! That does not go. No, but not this birthday party, the one with our other one. You know, when -- Yeah. The last birthday party -- With one of my homies? Yeah. One. Ooh. I'll sleep it out. Ah, no, you're not to sleep it out. Yeah. But, no! So, what happened? What do you mean? Wasn't even -- Was that a real? Yeah. I mean, you were about to find out? You guys were supposed to go on a date, no? Yeah, I wanted you to find out. He seemed like a very kind guy. Was that real? Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny. Is hilarious? I didn't know that that was real! No, I was being real about it. Oh, my God. It's real that we brought it up as in, like, hey, why don't you guys go on a date? But it's -- It's up to you guys. It's up to you guys. You know what I'm saying? Okay. Well, no. Oh, my God. I'm not even on that! Oh. You kept crying. Don't touch that. Shut it down. He loves thick queens. Who does not? Like, you look at his track record? Who would have thick queens? But he has a kid. Yeah, but she's like 18 or 17 or something like that. Like, he's down, which I'll support. Oh, okay. Like, we could be friends. That was good. You guys going? Um, I didn't know that that was real. Um, I guess. No, not even like that, but I just -- I didn't know that was real. Well, he seems like a nice guy. He is. A nice man. I don't know if he would be interested. I think he would. I don't think he would. I don't know. I'm just saying if you want to start a conversation, but here's my thing, and we'll wrap up with this piranha so we can get to Kim's story about the worst date story, which I don't think is going to be pretty mavane, where a dude asked her, "Are you a man?" But here's the thing. That's what I want to say. I'm having a Joe Biden moment, my bad. Primalane, my encouragement to you and anybody listening that's dating right now is stop approaching people that you're interested in as, "Oh, my gosh. I want to be with them," and just start off by saying, "I wonder if we would be good friends. I wonder if we could start a friendship," and then go from there. Like, "Let that be the foundation, but I don't want to be with my friends." See, that's a lie. I didn't want to be with Eddie at first, but I didn't know if I could see him beyond a friendship. Hold on. Let's have that combo. Hold on. Let's go with Eggo. Existentos tipos de personas en el mundo, los capreferen de sajuna dul second fruitas dul se del eche en hugo de ranga, elos capreferen de sajuna salado con chorizo, elos capreferen de sajuna, elo capreferen de sajuna, elo capreferen de sajuna, elo capreferen de sajuna, elo capreferen de sajuna salado, elo capreferen de sajuna salado, elo capreferen de sajuna salado, elo capreferen de sajuna salado. It's not a lie. Primo, you just said I don't want to be with anybody that's my friend, and that is a lie. I technically don't want to be with him. Oh my. Okay. I don't know if I don't. I literally think to myself, do I want to be with him? All right. We're going to ask Eddie, Eddie, do you think if Primo and I had an opportunity to be with that one friend that she's always talking about? Do you think she would take it? 1000% yes. You would take it. Yeah. He is a nice guy. I mean, he is a nice guy. I'm not going to knock that. Okay. So that's my point. That is the foundation of a great relationship. You already know he's a good human being. You enjoy. Imagine this. You enjoy being around him, even without the sexual part. So now imagine if love does get sparked and a relationship begins. Imagine how amazing that's going to be. I don't want to have this conversation. No, just kidding. This is making me realize some shit. Pretty bad. It runs out. I got to go. I got like the sexual part that, you know, you and other people partake in. It's like, I imagine like you having sex with random people, like cooking up or F buddies, whatever, like, if that's not as great as being in love. And then imagine being in love with your person, like. What it would be like. Yeah. And you're 1000% right. And it's crazy because I was talking to this, to this about, well, kind of this to that friend, because recently two of my really close friends, well, one of them being my sister and one being my really close friend, but two people have mentioned to me like that I need to basically cut that relationship off or that friendship off because really. Yeah, because that no close girlfriends of yours. My sister and my best friend, Alisa have told you to cut him off your friend. Correct. They told me to cut him off because they said that to a blind eye or to somebody who doesn't know our dynamic and our relationship, if they look at my Instagram, or they see me or see even him, because sometimes he'd be like posting that we go to church together and stuff, it could look like we're dating from an outsider in. It can look like either we're already dating or that we're dating or that even we're together because we post or I post even she's even talking about me directly, not even him specifically. Just me. She's like, just a blind eye. It looks like you could be possibly be dating him or be in a relationship because of how he looks at it. That's the very least interested. Correct. I guess. And then on top of that, like the Indirectas, Muizirectas, the indirect and very direct messages that you both use in each other, just allegedly joking around, makes it even crazier. And honestly, I can see where your best friend is coming from, Primavane, Alyssa, in the sense that it's got to be mind-effing you. Yeah. Yeah. Like, is that even helped you? To deal with him. Yeah. Yeah. And basically, she just said they both said, like, no man is going to be attracted to me or open to being with me if they see that I'm already kind of being courted or maybe possibly another person is interested in me, even though, again, they may not know our dynamic because to the homie, he says that there's nothing up. And I told him this recently, and I was kind of hesitant to tell him, but I did. I was like, hey, it's crazy because I wasn't going to tell you, but I'm going to tell you. And he's like, what? That's wild. He's like, so what does that mean? He's like, does it mean that we can't be friends until you're in a relationship? And I was like, no, I don't think that's what it means. It's just that. And I don't want to tell him that I don't, not that I don't want to be your friend or that I like, you know, that I want to, that I want to kind of say that and which I wouldn't, but that I also, I want to create some space, you know what I mean? Some boundaries. Because your boundaries, right. Yeah. Let's call him Joe. Okay. So you want to set up some boundaries because you two do hang out a lot, Primavane. Yeah. We do hang out a lot. We've worked together before. So it's just kind of like, oh, you know, that I do see that point. And also I kind of did stop calling him my best friend because I used to call him my best friend and I want to marry my best friend. But if I think about it, like, I, I guess if he were to give me and say, hey, let's try this out, I would be down to try it like Eddie, like, you know, yes. But also too, like if I, that's if he like says, hey, let's try it. I'm not going to go and put myself out there. He needs to pursue you. Right. Because that's not me. That's not what I want either. I want someone to pursue me. I want someone to court me. That's great. Right. I think you can toss him a little bone because he's very shy, very like, not down with it. So I think you need to like push a little and we kind of did in this conversation. He was like, so he's like, so what do you think he questioned me? He's like, so what do you think you see when you see a guy and a girl that are friends that aren't dating or anything, they're just friends? What do you think? And I was like, well, honestly, I feel like one of them is in love with each other. And then he turns and he asks me, he's like, are you in love with me? Oh, yeah. And I was like, no, I said, I love you. I do have love for you and I care about you and I appreciate you, but I have what dreams about you. Oh my God. One time. Only one time. Oh my God. Yeah, but I don't want to be with you. So did you return the question? Did you say, are you in love with me? No, I didn't ask. Oh, funny is because you have to be willing to like test it a little bit plus you guys are grown like, say it doesn't work out and you need to test it in a healthy way, like not in a sexual innuendos way, like genuinely like let's go on a date like no type of making out. No type of me. I disagree. I don't know because he's where he's done a lot of work with him with himself these last like three years. He's been going to therapy. He like still actively goes to therapy. He's also helped me a lot with that being said, I feel like he's also told me things that he's trying to unlearn that he's done in his past relationships that he's trying to unlearn going forward for his future relationships. For example, like buying a buying woman flowers. He's like, I think it's my I saw my dad never buying my mom flowers. So I think why am I going to waste money on flowers because that's what my dad would say. Oh, why am I going to waste money on your mom if they're just going to die? He's like so, but he's like, but now he's like, I know that women, some women like to receive flowers. He's trying to move different and appreciate women and highlight them. Right. Or just do different things. I mean, he's bought me flowers with like he bought me flowers for my birthday and I was a little like what color that says a lot. No, they were just it was just like and it wasn't like a it wasn't like a bouquet or an arrangement like Eddie has pulled off her camera, but nothing like that. Were they roses? Red? Honestly, look like like just something that you grabbed from like Trader Joe's or like the Ralph's like the bouquets that are already kind of done. I think birthday fires are just birthday flowers. But either like, right. I wasn't really like to thinking about, Oh, what color was the flower? Cause it was a rose there. That was roses in there. It's from my rose. To wrap this up, you want to? To me, it shocks me that you guys haven't had a clear conversation of are we just friends or do we want to try something more than friends? Like why hasn't that conversation happened yet in a serious manner and not jokingly? Yeah. And you guys are both grown. So say he says like, no, we're actually just friends. You get that clarity. You get to create those boundaries and you get to say, you know what? Thank you for being honest with me. I'm old enough to still continue to treat as my friend. Today, you guys go on a date and you're like, this is weird, like we're literally just friends. You guys are old enough to say, wow, that was funny that we tried that. Let's continue our friendship. Yeah, that I would like to think like that, but, and I feel like I could be like that, but I don't know if he can. I feel like if I once I were to have that conversation with him, cause we can talk, but I feel like once I talk to him about that, he's going to switch up on me. There's only success in having this conversation. If he tells you like, no, or if you guys go out and he starts acting weird, it's like, dude, do you even want to be friends or anything else with someone that's not mature enough to handle that? No. So great. You have your answers. You create your boundaries. There's only winning from this. Well, you actually are you are right. It's a win-win situation. Fudge. If he says, no, I don't want anything romantic with you, I never see that happening, then you get clarity. That's a win. You keep a friend, but then you create more space and more boundaries for yourself so you can create space for the man that God actually has for you. Because this guy right now is consuming a lot of your time. He really is. And you're not letting in. I know, girl, trust me guys. And the other win is if he says, you know what? I do see something romantic with you, then that's the win. You guys can venture and look into that, but I understand also the fear of, hey, making things weird or things not working out, then I lose my friend. But in reality, you guys are constantly flirting with each other via tags and even in person, saying some crazy ass things to each other. Yeah, just a bit not out of pocket. If he starts being like, where's this coming from? Like, I would have receipts ready to go like, I just, I'm also part me and part me. I know we already like wrap it up. Hello, Latino of us saying we're going to cut it. Yeah, my boy. Yeah. My boy. Yeah, my boy. But I think it's just also so annoying that I feel like it's always me having to have conversations that are vulnerable or that just, you know, but Kim had kind of had to do it with Eddie. Yeah. Kim's the one that probably had a clear, I'm guessing, yeah, but he's got everything's up. I understand though, but like this is not in that way. Kim and Eddie started as a friendship, right? Yes. Everybody was like, here, working on the show, friends, blah, blah, blah, right. Kim, what did you do to get clarity from Eddie? Well, I would tell him like, Hey, I don't know if I want to be with this guy. Like, I'm not really vibing this. Oh, you guys are great. You should continue and I'd be like, okay. You would talk to him about other men. Yeah. I'd be like, Oh, no, I think you should try it. You guys are great. Love it. And I'd be like, Oh, dude, like, at that time we were going now or anything. We were friends, but we were friends, but imagine your friends and you're telling this guy about this other guy that you, you know, and he's like, no, continue. So you're like, all right, clear enough for me. Let me continue because this guy's clearly not interested in me. You would never say no, he would never say, don't talk to themselves, like, whatever. And then. And then Connie, constantly happening in that. Well, yeah. And then we went out, like, so for example, church or whatever, and you guys say, Hey, we had a really good time, like, you know, what's happening. But at what point was it clear for you, Kim, that Eddie was interested in you more than friends? It was always clear, but he would never say anything like exactly like he would just. So his behavior, his behavior would say something else. But when did you verbalize it? Eddie? Like the carne concert, we started going out Eddie verbalized it. There was. But I would tell him Eddie, okay, you're acting like this. What are you going to do about it? If you don't do anything about it, I will continue my life. Well, because she was dating me out in a real date, a real date. Don't be doing that. None of this stuff. Like if you don't do this, I'm continuing with my way. She was dating this one dude and then that's when I told him, like, okay, like, cut him off. And then we'll go. We'll go. Yeah. That's what happened. But Kim had to set it up for you. Yeah. She had to cut off the guy. And then, well, she also told you, yeah, make it clear, homie. Yeah. But then I was like, cut off that guy. And then we'll. And then you said, all right, I'll make it clear to you. If you make it clear to me, 'cause I can see Eddie's side too. It's like, okay, I'm interested in you, Kim. And then Kim, all she does is talk about other men. I'll be like, what the? You know what I'm saying? Like maybe she doesn't like me then. Yeah. She's dating other dudes. Yeah. But I think it was just communication. Like, hey, like, yeah, I do have want to go out with you, then cut off that person, then we'll go out. But tell him, like, I need actions, like, real date actions. Oh, no, guys. I need questions. Primo on it to wrap this up. Is he dating anybody right now? I don't. Joe. I don't think so. Okay. It's up to you to clear things up because ain't nobody got time to waste no more, Primo on it? I know. I think Kim, because I have said that too. Or I do because we're, I'm an open book, just like I am with all of y'all. We appreciate you for that, Brianna, because you're not the only one going through stuff like this. And he. And that's why people love you. Oh, thanks guys. Love you guys too. And he doesn't want to hear it if I talk to another, talk about another guy. That's exactly it. That's weird, dude. I don't know. Right. That's weird. I like him. He's a good friend. Right. Like if I'm talking, I don't mean the lost your boy's different, just because it's your boy. That'd be the other straight guy. Yeah. Like if I'm telling you, you're like, you're going to want to hear the details. You're going to want to know. You're telling me. I don't want all the details, videos, pictures, everything. Exactly. Exactly. Right. My other homies are the same. Like, I mean, not pictures, videos, but they're like, that's a little bit weird. But yeah. So that throws me off a little bit, or then even to when he, right, it just throws me off. I don't know what's going to happen. Stay tuned. But it's time for you to take the reins of your romantic life and start creating mental space, emotional space, and spiritual space for the real man that God has for you. I know, and I'm so excited for him. Yes. We are excited for him to remember that person is because they're going to have a blast and get a great woman in you. Yeah. All right. Thanks. Go on to hear the gun power. Put it on it. Listen, we went too long. I know. Kim, can you do it on? All of my stories, guys. No. I just told you guys right there. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Kimberly, I Garcia with two eight. No. Tomorrow's after party. Yes. Still go to Kimberly's. IG. What is it? Kimberly, I Garcia with two days at the end, I'm going to tell you guys a Glen Powell story there. Okay. I'll post the video. Okay. Story told by Kim on tomorrow's after party episode. No, I don't feel that love y'all people on it, take action. Voila, thank you for listening to my dad's shabosho. Let's go with ego. Existentos tipos de personas en el mundo, los caprifíren de sejuna dul se comfrútas dul se del eche un hugo de naranja, elos caprifíren un de sejuna salado con chorizo, I do not skump hell outta. Lego with Eggo. [BLANK_AUDIO]