TONY EVANS HOUSE
Tony Evans - Portrait of a Christian Family - Part 1
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Paid for by the US Department of Health and Human Services. - God is like the sun and you are like one of the planets. - Dr. Tony Evans says we must stay within God's gravitational pull over to keep ourselves and our families safe. - If you men are not a man of God, if you women are not women of God, if we don't raise children or we impact to be children of God, then don't be surprised if you cling off into outer space. This is the alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, author, speaker, senior pastor of Oaklift Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, and president of the urban alternative. Dr. Evans says the reason so many families are in trouble is that we leave God out of our marriage and home life. Today, he takes a look at Ephesians chapter five and explains how we can return the Lord to the center of our families. Let's join him. Statistics tell us that at least half of the people gathered under the sound of my voice will be participants in a broken family, at least half. Culturally, half of all marriages end in divorce. Half of the children in our nation will grow up never knowing what it is, or only partially knowing what it is to have a dad at home. And so the issue of the family is critical. And the reason it's so critical is because everything else is predicated on it. Churches are made up of families so that if you have broken families, when those families come to church, you wind up with broken churches. And churches should impact the community. And so if those broken families produce broken churches, then you'll have a broken impact. Sociologists are telling us that the breakdown of the family is the most critical issue facing our culture, that what we're reading on our headlines can ultimately be traced back to broken homes. Teachers in schools are finding out that they have to do more than teach. They have to become surrogate parents, to kids who are finding academics difficulty because of the burden at home. The police department has to wind up being the ultimate disciplinarian for a generation of undisciplined young people, particularly teenagers, because of the absence of discipline at home. And so, ladies and gentlemen, there is nowhere around this issue. And for many of you, I don't have to illustrate or speak or give statistical analysis because you know what it's about. You've been there. You've grown up in a broken home. You've been beaten or abused or molested or battered. So many of you are the fruit of divorce. So many of our children in our own learning center don't have the privilege of ever saying, "Dad." And so, this is not a foreign issue. And even if that's not your problem, personally, you know somebody close to you who's facing it. And I don't know of any more relevant topic series that I could speak on than the issue of the family. Now, most of us have learned what we've learned about the family from one of three places. We've learned what we've learned, number one, from either the family we grew up in, which means if that was messed up, we're in trouble because the habits, the disciplines, the perspectives, many of you ladies have a warped view of men because you have a warped view of your dad, because your dad messed over your mother, the assumption is men are no good, they will mess over me. In fact, some of you ladies have a warped view of God because of a bad view of your father. If my earthly father treated me like this, then what exactly can I expect from my heavenly father? That's why home is so important because it sets the pace for the perspective of other families, the family that you start. So some of us learn about family for good or for bad from the family that we experience when we grew up. Others of us learn about families from our friends. They tell us what we ought to do and how they do what they do. I was often surprised by the guys I grew up with on the corner who would make fun of another guy who had to go home because his wife was expecting him. They would say, "Well, I mean, you don't have to go home 'cause your old lady says you have to go home." I mean, you're the man, you're the head of the house, which is exactly why they were on the corner. They wise would let them home. That's why they could go out there and talk all that noise. And so if your friends are errant in their view of family and they are your advisors, then don't be surprised that their negative influence influences you. It's amazing how many ladies I talk to, who talk to other ladies and say if I was you, I'd leave. Prior to saying, "Have you done all that God wants you to do?" And usually the ones who suggest that you leave have already left themselves and they're asking you to join them in their misery. The third place that many people learn about family is the media. There was a time when the media reaffirmed family and it gave basic values that undergirded, supported, stimulated, encouraged family life. That's not true anymore. Media either gives you a broken view of family by and large or an unrealistic view. You've got a lady who gets up in the morning with her hair already in place. She wafts us down to cook in a gown. She can do all of these things and has the ability to do them in an extraordinary manner with little frustration, problem or pain. Media either paints an unrealistic picture or a broken picture. We all have somewhere we're trying to get to. As the largest energy producer in Colorado, Chevron is helping meet rising demand and we're working to do it responsibly. Our next-gen, tankless facilities reduce the greenhouse gas emissions of our operations by more than 90% compared to our older designs. Working to provide Colorado with energy that's affordable, reliable and ever cleaner. So everyone can get to where they want to be. You've arrived. That's energy and progress. Visit chevron.com/tankless. An official message from Medicare. A new law is helping me save more money on prescription drug costs. Maybe you can save too. With Medicare's extra help program, my premium is zero and my out-of-pocket costs are low. Who should apply? Single people making less than $23,000 a year or married couples who make less than $31,000 a year. Even if you don't think you qualify, it pays to find out. Go to ssa.gov/extrahelp. Paid for by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Full confession? I'm a creature of habit. And I am 100% okay with that. Because if you're managing hypothyroidism, like me, you know consistency is key. Wake up, take my Synthroid Levo Thyroxine, walk the dog, coffee. So when I heard about the Synthroid Delivers program, I was in. Synthroid is a brand I trust. It is the number one prescribed branded hypothyroidism treatment. It's been around for over 65 years. With 12 precise dosing options, my doctor and I work to find the right fit. So I'm sticking with it. That's what makes the Synthroid Delivers program so perfect. It guarantees I'm getting brand name Synthroid with every refill, just like my doctor recommended. And with pricing as low as $25 a month for my prescription, I'm saving money too. Getting started is simple. Just go to Synthroid.com and click on the Synthroid Delivers program. No insurance is needed. There are four secure ways to pay. In just a few clicks, you're enrolled. Then having Synthroid delivered will make it easy to stay on track with your routine. Okay, gotta run, time to walk the dog. Like I said, creature of habit. Synthroid, Levo Thyroxine Sodium Tablets for oral use is a prescription medication used to treat a condition called hypothyroidism in adults and children, including infants. It should not be used to treat non-cancerous thyroid growths or enlargement of the thyroid in patients with normal iodine levels, or in cases of temporary hypothyroidism caused by inflammation of the thyroid gland, thyroiditis. Synthroid should not be used for obesity or weight loss. Serious or life-threatening effects can occur when large doses of Synthroid are used, especially when used with certain medications that reduce appetite. Do not use Synthroid if you have uncorrected adrenal problems. Taking too much or too little Synthroid may lead to negative effects on growth and development, heart function, bone health, reproductive function, mental health, digestive function, and changes in glucose and cholesterol metabolism. Taking too much Levo Thyroxine may affect your heart, especially if you are elderly or have heart disease, and has been associated with increased bone loss, especially in women after menopause. Discuss your diet, all medications you take, and any medical conditions you have, especially heart disease, diabetes, blood clotting problems, and adrenal or pituitary gland problems. Tell your doctor immediately if you have signs of increased irregular or abnormal heart rate or chest pain, difficulty catching your breath, leg cramps, headache, nervousness, irritability, sleeplessness, shaking, change in appetite, weight gain or loss, vomiting, diarrhea, increased sweating, difficulty tolerating heat, fever, changes in menstrual periods, swollen red bumps on the skin like hives, skin rash, or any other unusual medical event. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or are thinking of becoming pregnant as your dose may need adjustment. This message has been brought to you by Abve Pharmaceuticals. Voices featured are not actual Synthroid patients. Ask your doctor about Synthroid for hypothyroidism and visit Synthroid.com or call 1-800-633-9110 to learn more. - So there's not a lot out there to give you the right picture of family. Couples now want to protect themselves as they go into this thing called family. One of the major protections are pre-nuptial agreements, which couples enter into saying now, there's a good possibility we're not going to make it. Since there's a good possibility we're not going to make it, let's agree up front to the divorce settlement later on. Pre-nuptial agreements, by and large, are protecting people or seek to protect people from the inevitable because it's assumed that this isn't going to work as much as we would like it to. Or others don't take the risk in the first place. They simply decide, let's live together so that we don't have to go through the hassle of documentation so that when we break up, there are no liabilities. May I ask your forgiveness up front if I don't make you feel good? May I apologize in advance if I make you feel bad about the divorce that you want to get? Let me apologize in advance for making you feel bad about the non-Christian that you want to marry. Let me apologize up front for calling you a boy when you think you're a man. Let me apologize in advance for letting you ladies know that too, love your career more than your husband. And your children is the mentality of an evil woman. Let me ask your apology ahead of time for not making you feel good about the bad you're sleeping in. If it's not the bad your wife or husband is also in. I just want to apologize in advance, you know. I just want to... Apologize not because I am apologizing about what I want to say because I've already told you, I'm going to say that anyway. But just so that you know where I'm coming from, I didn't want to catch you by surprise. And I just wanted to apologize if it does surprise you because it ought not surprise you because I just told you I'm coming. Let's start with the ideal. Now, I understand we're not at the ideal. I understand they're broken hearts, they're broken lives. They're people who have made mistakes. They have done wrong things. And yet the ideal must be where we shoot. It must be which way we're pointed to. It must be how we're looking. And so I want to start with the ideal. This is God's painting, portrait, picture of the family as he intended it. Someone 28 lays it out. This is what you must be shooting for, even if you're not there. This must be your goal. This must be where you are pointed. This must be the bull's eye to which you must shoot. And if this is not your goal, you're starting wrong, no matter what your starting point happens to be. This passage says four things. The first thing he says in verses one and two is that the Christian family begins with a personal commitment to God. He says, "How blessed is everyone who feels the Lord who walks in his way? When you eat of the fruit of your hands, you will be happy and it will be well with you." In verse three, he's going to start talking about family. But before he starts talking about the family unit, he talks about the people who will make up the family unit because in order to have a miserable family, you've got to have miserable people living there. When a person says, "My home is miserable." You don't mean the bricks are miserable and that the glass is miserable and that the utensils are miserable. You mean that there are some miserable people there? And to try to have a happy home when you have unhappy people is an impossibility. The starting place for fixing family is fixing the inhabitants who live there. And he says, "If that is going to happen, then the members of the household must have their lives centered in God." If the individuals don't have their lives centered in God, then the unhappiness of their life will rub off on the other members living there. You see, if you, Mr. are miserable, you will create a miserable wife. And the miserable husband and miserable wife will create miserable children. And you will wind up with a miserable home. The way the fixed misery starts personally. You've got to be the right man. She's got to be the right woman. And when the personal lives are in the concert, the family life will emerge. Dr. Evans will come back in a moment with a look at why even Christian marriages sometimes turn miserable. But first, I want to tell you about a great package of resources we're recommending as a way to follow up on today's study. It includes Tony's best-selling book, Kingdom Marriage, and the complete six-part audio compilation from The Best of Tony Evans on Marriage. These resources lay out God's blueprint for husbands and wives, helping you to build a strong and healthy relationship grounded in the bedrock of God's unfailing love. You'll move closer to each other as you realize the fulfillment and purpose you seek in your marriage. Request this special marriage package today, and it's yours as our thank-you gift when you make a contribution to help us keep Tony's teaching on this station. Just visit TonyEvans.org to get the details and make the arrangements before this limited time offer runs out. That's TonyEvans.org, or call our Resource Center at 1-800-832-22, any time of the day or night. That's 1-800-800-3222. We'll continue with more of today's message right after this. If you're like most Christians, there are people in your life who know you, but may not know Jesus. You really want to do something about that, but don't feel equipped to share your faith effectively. In other words, maybe if you knew more, you could do more. Well, that's where the Tony Evans Training Center comes in. It's an online Bible school with classes that'll take you deep into the most important core concepts of the faith. You can start with our free introductory course on Evangelism, then move on to subjects like spiritual warfare, marriage building, maturing in the faith, and many more. The content is challenging, but you can move through it at your own pace any time you're online. There's also lots of custom content from Tony and an online forum where you can get your specific... We all have somewhere we're trying to get to. As the largest energy producer in Colorado, Chevron is helping meet rising demand, and we're working to do it responsibly. Our next-gen, tankless facilities reduce the greenhouse gas emissions of our operations by more than 90% compared to our older designs. Working to provide Colorado with energy that's affordable, reliable, and ever cleaner. So everyone can get to where they want to be. You've arrived. That's Energy in Progress. Visit chevron.com/tankless. An official message from Medicare. A new law is helping me save more money on prescription drug costs. Maybe you can save too. With Medicare's Extra Help Program, my premium is zero, and my out-of-pocket costs are low. Who should apply? Single people making less than $23,000 a year, or married couples who make less than $31,000 a year. Even if you don't think you qualify, it pays to find out. Go to ssa.gov/extrahelp. Paid for by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Big questions answered. Go to tonyevons.org and follow the link to the Tony Evans Training Center. It's like having a seminary on your smartphone. He says in verses one and two that the center and the circumference of family starts with your own personal commitment to God. He says, how happy is everyone who fears the Lord? What he is saying is take God seriously. You want to understand the word fear? It means to take God seriously. It had to do with aing or referencing someone. Unfortunately, God is not taken seriously by enough Christians, and that's why they wind up being miserable people and therefore create miserable homes. Take God seriously. God is like the sun, and you are like one of the planets. You can only have your orbit straight if you stay within the gravitational pull. Pluto circles the sun between two and four billion miles away because the sun keeps it in its gravitational pull or else it would fling out into outer space. It would leave our solar system, and we have had families to leave the solar system to fling off into space to be utterly destroyed because the sun was no longer the controlling factor. God was no longer the center. If you men are not a man of God, if you women are not women of God, if we don't raise children who we impact to be children of God, then don't be surprised if you fling off into outer space. If you spin out of control because God says that happiness comes not from a vacation, not from a cruise, not from a new house, some of us were happier in the apartment than we are in the new house. We didn't have a car, we only had one bedroom, but we were happy. Now we've got three car garages, four bedroom homes, and we don't want to go there because happiness is not derived from what you have, places you go and money you make. Happiness comes because a man is in the gravitational pull of God. He says when that happens, happy he shall be. It meant internal joy. In fact, he says three things will happen. Number one, God will take care of your fortune. He will take care of your feelings and he will take care of your future. He says if you are committed to God, you shall eat the fruit of your hands. He'll take care of your fortune. You will be happy. He'll take care of your feelings. It will be well with you. He'll take care of your future. What a guarantee, but it comes from God. So let me say it again because there's nowhere around it. Just to say the problem in my family is my husband, my wife, my father, my mother, before you've asked, am I in sync with God? Is the wrong place to start? And that's what too many people do. They blame other people when they haven't fixed themselves. You know, a camera is the very marvelous instrument. It captures a picture, but only if it's focused right. See, the camera must be focused right to capture the picture. In the camera, they have a little box and you get what the picture you want inside the box. No matter how good the camera is, if you're not focused right, the camera can't do you any good. What God is saying to us is that we must be focused on humor, our relationship with humor, to make sure we're on track with humor. And if you focus right, the camera will take care of the rest. If we're focused right on God, God takes care of the rest. So breakdown in family always starts with spiritual breakdown in individuals. There's nowhere around it. I like how he goes from the general to the specific, by the way, he starts off with saying, everyone who fears the Lord, and then he winds up saying, you will be happy. He takes it from the general to the specific. You know why people want to quit two months after they get married? They have no God staying power. Hi in the world, you're gonna be married for one year and decide you can't make it. You ain't been together long enough to determine that. We all have somewhere we're trying to get to. As the largest energy producer in Colorado, Chevron is helping meet rising demand, and we're working to do it responsibly. Our next-gen tankless facilities reduce the greenhouse gas emissions of our operations by more than 90% compared to our older designs. Working to provide Colorado with energy that's affordable, reliable, and ever cleaner. So everyone can get to where they want to be. You've arrived. That's energy and progress. Visit chevron.com/tankless. An official message from Medicare. A new law is helping me save more money on prescription drug costs. You may be able to save too. With Medicare's extra help program, my premium is zero, and my out-of-pocket costs are low. Who should apply? Single people making less than $23,000 a year, or married couples who make less than $31,000 a year. Even if you don't think you qualify, it pays to find out. Go to ssa.gov/extrahelp paid for by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Full confession. I'm a creature of habit, and I am 100% okay with that. Because if you're managing hypothyroidism, like me, you know consistency is key. Wake up. Take my Synthroid Levo Thyroxine. Walk the dog. Coffee. So when I heard about the Synthroid Deliverz program, I was in. Synthroid is a brand I trust. It is the number one prescribed branded hypothyroidism treatment. It's been around for over 65 years. With 12 precise dosing options, my doctor and I work to find the right fit. So I'm sticking with it. That's what makes the Synthroid Deliverz program so perfect. It guarantees I'm getting brand name Synthroid with every refill, just like my doctor recommended. And with pricing as low as $25 a month for my prescription, I'm saving money too. Getting started is simple. Just go to Synthroid.com and click on the Synthroid Deliverz program. No insurance is needed. There are four secure ways to pay. In just a few clicks, you're enrolled. Then, having Synthroid delivered will make it easy to stay on track with your routine. Okay, gotta run. Time to walk the dog. Like I said, creature of habit. Synthroid. Levo Thyroxine Sodium Tablets for oral use is a prescription medication used to treat a condition called hypothyroidism in adults and children, including infants. It should not be used to treat non-cancerous thyroid growths, or enlargement of the thyroid in patients with normal iodine levels, or in cases of temporary hypothyroidism caused by inflammation of the thyroid gland, thyroiditis. Synthroid should not be used for obesity or weight loss. Serious or life-threatening effects can occur when large doses of Synthroid are used, especially when used with certain medications that reduce appetite. Do not use Synthroid if you have uncorrected adrenal problems. Taking too much or too little Synthroid may lead to negative effects on growth and development, heart function, bone health, reproductive function, mental health, digestive function, and changes in glucose and cholesterol metabolism. Taking too much Levo Thyroxine may affect your heart, especially if you are elderly or have heart disease, and has been associated with increased bone loss, especially in women after menopause. Discuss your diet, all medications you take, and any medical conditions you have, especially heart disease, diabetes, blood clotting problems, and adrenal or pituitary gland problems. Tell your doctor immediately if you have signs of increased irregular or abnormal heart rate or chest pain, difficulty catching your breath, leg cramps, headache, nervousness, irritability, sleeplessness, shaking, change in appetite, weight gain or loss, vomiting, diarrhea, increased sweating, difficulty tolerating heat, fever, changes in menstrual periods, swollen red bumps on the skin like hives, skin rash, or any other unusual medical event. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or thinking of becoming pregnant as your dose may need adjustment. This message has been brought to you by Abbe V Pharmaceuticals. Voices featured are not actual Synthroid patients. Ask your doctor about Synthroid for hypothyroidism and visit Synthroid.com or call 1-800-633-9110 to learn more. You said, but I thought that's exactly what marriage is, what you thought entering into how things are. And now that you've found how things are, you need the power of God. How are you going to get divorced when you ain't been married long enough to know you need to get divorced? So it starts with your personal commitment to God. God must be the center in the circumference of your life. Not your personal commitment to people. Your personal commitment to God. Stop listening to people first. Stop listening to God first because it's from God that you get the help you need. Say, God, make me into the person I want to want to be. We have too many people who have missed out on family because they've missed out on God. You've become self-sufficient in yourself. It's like Muhammad Ali who's flying in the airplane, true story. Flying in the airplane. The airplane, the student comes and says, "Mr. Ali, will you please put on your seat belt?" Ali is very proud doing those days. He says, "I don't need a seat belt." He said, "Because Superman don't need a seat belt." The student said, "Well, Superman don't need a plane. Will you put on your seat belt, please?" We think more of ourselves than we ought to think. What God is saying is, "You must be rooted in me. You show me two people who are rooted in God. They have no excuse for not making God. You show me two people who aren't rooted in God. They're lucky if they do make it." That's where it starts. Secondly, a Christian family is developed within the proper atmosphere. You've got to have the right atmosphere. First of all, you start with God, but then you create an environment for the family. Verse three, "Your wife shall be like a fruitful vibe within your house. Your children like olive plants around your table." He obviously is focusing on the man first, because he says, "Your wife," which is always where God starts. It is always where God starts. I don't apologize for that. God starts with the man. Now, the wife has a responsibility, as we'll see too, but it doesn't start there. A man is responsible for setting the tone by which his family functions. So it starts with you men, and that's why Satan is after men. It's not that he's not after women. He just knows if he can get men out of the picture. He knows if he can keep men from being responsible. He knows if he can keep men being baby makers, rather than being children lovers and fathers and husbands, he knows if he can keep men away from being committed and dedicated, he's destroying the whole family, which destroys the whole church, which devastates the whole culture, so he's after us men. As a priority, he says, "Your wife will be a fruitful vibe in your house." Notice is your wife, not somebody else's wife. Your wife will be a fruitful vibe in your house. Dr. Tony Evans, talking about how and where to begin the repair work in your family, and he'll have more to say on this subject tomorrow. In the meantime, if you'd like to get a full-length copy of this message, check with us for details on the lesson "Portrait of a Christian Family." Or, better yet, get it as a part of that six-message audio compilation I mentioned earlier called "The Best of Tony Evans on Marriage." Visit TonyEvans.org today to make the arrangements. And when you do, don't forget that if you make a contribution toward the ministry, we'll include a complimentary copy of Dr. Evans' book, "Kingdom Marriage," along with the marriage audio collection. Again, that's TonyEvans.org. Or give us a call day or night at 1-800-832-22 and let one of our resource team members help with your request. That's 1-800-800-3222. Today's message focused on making God the foundation of your home. But that starts, of course, with God. We all have somewhere we're trying to get to. As the largest energy producer in Colorado, Chevron is helping meet rising demand, and we're working to do it responsibly. Our next-gen, tankless facilities reduce the greenhouse gas emissions of our operations by more than 90% compared to our older designs. Working to provide Colorado with energy that's affordable, reliable, and ever cleaner. So everyone can get to where they want to be. You've arrived. That's energy in progress. Visit chevron.com/tankless. An official message from Medicare. A new law is helping me save more money on prescription drug costs. You may be able to save, too. With Medicare's extra help program, my premium is zero and my out-of-pocket costs are low. Who should apply? Single people making less than $23,000 a year, or married couples who make less than $31,000 a year. Even if you don't think you qualify, it pays to find out. Go to ssa.gov/extrahelp paid for by the US Department of Health and Human Services. How'd being your foundation? In case that's something you haven't yet done, Dr. Evans would be honored to let you know how to make that happen. Just visit TonyEvans.org and click on the link at the very top of the home page that simply says "Jesus." You find a practical explanation of what it means to be a Christian and how to take the first steps toward an amazing life with God as your anchor, help, and hope. Again, you can find that at TonyEvans.org. Well, tomorrow, Dr. Evans fills in more of his portrait of the Christian family, including thoughts on how to make a difference where you live by changing how you live. I hope you'll join us. The alternative with Dr. Tony Evans is brought to you by the Urban Alternative, and it's made possible by the generous contributions of listeners like you. An official message from Medicare. A new law is helping me save more money on prescription drug costs. You may be able to save too. With Medicare's Extra Help program, my premium is zero and my out-of-pocket costs are low. Who should apply? Single people making less than $23,000 a year or a married couple who make less than $31,000 a year. Even if you don't think you qualify, it pays to find out. Go to ssa.gov/extrahelp paid for by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Save big this summer with great deals. All in the King Supers app. Get select varieties of power aid or body armor super drinks for $0.79 each. Then get 16-ounce packs of organic strawberries for $2.49 each. All with your card and a digital coupon. Shop these deals at your local Kroger today or tap the screen now to download the King Supers app to save big today. King Supers, fresh for everyone, prices and product availability subject to change, restrictions apply, see site for details.