in this episode of Movie Torture, the guys are joined by The First Lady of Movie Torture to chat about the movie 'Cocaine Shark' which is Hannah's second time watching a movie with Cocaine in the title. They also talk about other shark movies and the platforms on which they are available. The conversation covers topics such as the choice of streaming platforms, the quality of movies on Tubi, and personal preferences for movie genres. In this conversation, the hosts discuss their thoughts on the movie 'Cocaine Shark.' They express their disappointment with the film, criticizing its bad acting, graphics, and overall quality. They compare it to other movies they have watched on their podcast and conclude that 'Cocaine Shark' is the worst movie they have ever seen.
Work Advice for Me
Cocaine Shark with The First Lady of Movie Torture Hannah - Movie Torture
This is the Hope Cast Network, stories and shows you actually want to listen to. [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] If you come to another edition of Movie Torture, it is hot, it is July. I know many of you are listening to this where you're sitting inside your pool with your little drink with umbrella, you got your sunscreen on, you're watching the kids jumping out all splashing you. But you know that's just what I've been smothered about. This month is about sharks. And I'm so excited to tell sharks what to the sharkiest people I know. [music] What kind of pool fancy are you living in, man? I'm watching them stick in splash of water and-- [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] Well, there was no shark in this movie. [music] I'm not here with Brad and the first lady of Movie Torture. [music] What's up, Roger? Hannah, it's always good to have you here. Even in these unforeseen circumstances that you have been placed in to be here today. Yeah, we're in shark months right now. You know, Discovery has Shark Week. Movie Torture has Shark Month. And there is a plethora of shark movies. And Tooby has a ball. Yeah. I feel like Tooby has all of the bad movies. [laughter] That's why they're-- [laughter] Okay, let me ask you this, Hannah. If you and I made a movie-- Yeah. In the only platform that would show our said movie is Tooby. No. I would feel like the movie sucks, right? Yeah, we're sucky by association. I will just only release it on YouTube before I'll put it on Tooby. Really? Isn't there some pretty good movies on Tooby? They have some blockbusters on Tooby, right? Yeah, some things. Well, some things that have been on TV into the other streaming services and they're coming. They're 10, 15 years old, stuff like that. Hold on. Central Intelligence, that's a good movie with The Rock. Okay. Captain Ron is a future movie torture with Kurt Russell. We should definitely do that. You ever see that, Rod? Some Scarface is on Tooby Rush Hour. They got some good stuff. Point break. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, they're barely as brats. Not caught. They got some good stuff. I mean, you're right. They're kind of old, but if we had a new movie and they were like Roger, Brad, Hannah. I think Roger's Sharkopolis is going to Tooby. I'd be like, man, those things. I was hoping we would get Netflix. Or Hulu or something. I would even take Prime. Okay. Where do you rank the Prime movies, Hannah? And the Prime made for Prime movies? Where do you rank those in the streaming service platforms? I don't think any of the stuff that's made for Prime. Maybe they've had one or two good shows, but for the most part, the free movies that are included with Prime, I feel like they all suck. If you want any of the good ones, you have to pay for them. True. But if you had a movie, let's say movie torture made a movie. Would we want it to be on Netflix, Blue, Peacock, Paramount, or Max? Oh, that's hard. Those are all good ones. I know. Which one would you think we'd get the most eyeballs on? I mean, you'd get the most eyeballs on Netflix. But see, I feel like we would just go into the... Into the abyss of movies. It owned Netflix. I feel like we could stand out more on the Paramount Plus. It all just depends on how good we are. Because Netflix still has a lot of hit shows, and when they hit, they hit. So, let's just have to ask to bring the quality content. Yeah. I think you're right. I would go Netflix or Peacock's not bad. But they don't do a lot of made for Peacock movies. They're all theatrical movies and stuff. So, let's go. Let's disagree with Netflix. But Toobie's the worst. Toobie and Pluto. Worst. Of the bunch. But there is a movie. Okay. So, I was over at Bee's house with her family, Bee from Breaking News of Brad and Bee. And her husband showed me who's been on a movie torture. Justin, if you want to listen to Justin, go back to Netflix. Go back to episode three. I think it was three Raj, the bench warmers. He was on there. Yeah. He said we should do Lava Lantula. Lava Lantula. What do you think? Now, this movie is about a lava volcano that explodes, and out of it comes tarantulas. No. Yo, it looks good. It's got Steve Gutenberg in it from Police Academy and the dude that does all the voices from Police Academy. These are being tarantulas. Oh, we can do this. Oh, no. It's like Sharknado. It's comedy. It's like Sharknado with tarantulas. That's not funny. I'm looking at the tarantulas. It's not funny. We should do that one. No. No. No. No. No. That's going to be him. That's 30 years. Writers. No. It guarded me when I first watched Lord of the Rings and saw the giant spiders in there. I can't. Lord of the Ring. Are you in the Lord of the Rings, Raj? I lost him the first time around. They're not moves that go back and I watch again. See, it was our New Year's tradition. We would watch all of the Lord of the Rings movies. Oh, my gosh. You mean three New Year's Day? Y'all would watch the first, second, third one. New Year's Eve. You'd watch the first, second, third one. Yeah, mainly when we were younger, like younger teenagers because it felt cool to be able to stay up all night watching them. So that was just my, our tradition. I went to the theater and saw all three of them. And I didn't want to go to the third one, but I forced myself because I'd seen the first two. Yeah. And it had like 55 endings. I kept thinking it's over and then it's not. It's over and then it's not. Third one was the one I fell asleep. That's probably half away. Oh, my gosh. I didn't think I liked the Hobbit movies a little bit more than the Lord of the Rings, but I like, I really like all, all movies like that. Like all the Lord of the Ring series, all the Chronicles of Narnia, all the... All the books was there. Got one of my bookshelf behind me. Harry Potter's. No, you couldn't watch Harry Potter's. When I was younger, but when I was older, I did. I found a podcast where the guy would recap what the books said so I didn't have to read the books. So I would listen to each book and then I'd go watch the movie and have like a little charcuterie board to myself. It was great. That's kind of cool. I like that. If anybody, a movie that I got some good Z's in Raj, I mean, I got a good power nap in this movie is Avatar. That's a good movie to get a power nap in. I've never seen them, except the new one. The newest one just came out I watched, but I haven't seen the other ones. Well, there's only one other one. Is there really? There's not a bunch of them? No, there's just two so far, but the first one I saw in IMAX and man, I got some really good sleep in that movie. It is a boring movie. I didn't want to. I don't want to do that on movie torture because for one, it breaks my rule of an hour and 30 minutes because it's like three hours and 30 minutes. It's really long. It's like three of this crap we just watched in Raj. What is the movie? Can you call it a movie? No. We'll talk about it. This one was called cocaine shark, which originally was supposed to be called narco shark. But when they heard about cocaine bear coming out, they decided to change it to cocaine shark before cocaine bear came out. Mind you, there's no cocaine in it. Wait, this movie came out before cocaine shark? No. It came out before? Yeah, because it was released in the United States on July 7th of 2023. You might be... Oh, that's after. No, that's before. Yeah, I think. Okay. Yeah, they changed it after the success. Wait, no, when did cocaine bear come out? It was released February 2023. Okay, because we did that last year. Hand of the cocaine shark. Released in Japan in January 2023 before cocaine bear. But they released it in their Japanese name, which translated to Crab Shark. They were actually... I think they were filming cocaine bear while they were filming this movie, which only took five to six days to finish. I know that surprises you. The quality of this cinema is going in six days. Wait a minute. I think this movie sets the record for quickest movie filmed on movie torture, right? It has to be. Yes. Yeah. Six days. I don't think... Yes. That's not one. I've seen high school productions that were higher quality than this. The videos my brothers and I used to make on our flip phones growing up were higher quality and more entertaining than this. Yeah. And I had no warning. I normally watched the previews before I watched the movie. I had no idea. So I turned this on in my living room while my roommate is home. Five minutes ago, I'm like, I am embarrassed to be around other humans watching this. This is so bad. It... Yeah, it was terrible. We can't... Well, we're going to figure that out then, but do you want the synopsis of this movie? Do you have any stats on this movie, Raj? Anything you want to add? So the listener can go watch this on TV because they're going to be down on it. There was no box office or budget listed anywhere. Oh my gosh. The budget had to be $60 on it right now. It's $50 on this. Yeah. It was pretty bad. I mean, it was directed by Mark, aplonia, who also... School boards are the best buy. Who also entered through that. Who also did a bunch of other stuff, produced it, directed it, you know, everything else. How much did he spend on it? I couldn't find that anywhere. Yeah. In Japan, the title was "Consami Shukaraba." So yeah, it was... And there's no actual sharks in the movie, and there's no cocaine. Well, there's a scene with cocaine in little baggies. It has nothing to do with the plot of the movie. That's when the guy comes in and shoots up, right? Yeah. Bing, bing, bing. I heard cat guns that were louder than the gun that guy used. Oh my gosh. It's like... Pow, pow, pow, pow. I just found a picture of the shark head cusp. Thank you so much. So bad. It looks like it has paper teeth. Horrible drawing of some red bloody gums. Oh. Oh, it's amazing. Yeah, it was... So yeah, there are no actors in this movie that you could say, "Hey, I've seen this guy in this before. I didn't see people that I've seen in commercials." The last movie we did, "Thanajals," at least one of the people I've seen at least in some commercials and stuff are a bit accurate, but these guys were horrible. I mean, just... Yeah. It was bad. It was bad. So everything from the pop guns to the young. Well, I guess we need to go to the map. Synops. This made me the fastest. Synops is right, if it does. I want a mafia jugglord release. I'm reading this because it's so hard to release the addictive stimulus on HD25, which costs sides effects. You see this dude laying in a hospital bed with a power beard, man. He has one of the best beards we've seen on movie torture. And basically, a weird shark and a shark with crab legs is killing. But you don't really see much. It's so hard. And then power beard shaves his power beard. Weirdly, it's gone. Terrible. I'm so confused. I don't know what it looks like. Then it grows back. He lays in the bedding, narrates everything. I feel like... Well, I got to get to the narration. Right. At the end of the day, it's over. It's so hard to describe this movie. There's no cocaine. Where we had fun talking about cocaine bear. Because first lady, you loved cocaine bear. You gave it a movie gold. I remember that. It was a great movie. I said movie torture. It's definitely movie torture. No. Definitely not the purpose either. No. Oh my gosh. This is a movie masterpiece. Like cocaine. There's a masterpiece. Between the two movies is in the other one. There was actually a bear. It was actually cocaine. We were actually through toll on their presentation of the movie. But when you look at the poster for this movie, it looks like a good poster. I think if I'm getting into this is the poster. Yeah. Like at what point do you see this ever in this movie? No, that's the best shot you see is in the movie. There's a helicopter in here. There's a big old boat in here. We've never saw that big boat that big, did we? No. I don't even remember seeing the helicopter. Well, I don't remember seeing the cocaine look like that either. There wasn't a cocaine. There wasn't a shark that looks like that. There wasn't a storm. I remember a helicopter is when they're showing the first scene in the movie. And you can actually they're doing the overhead of the beach scene. And you can hear the helicopter like you can hear the background. Yeah. I was quality. Quality sent in. They're actually showing the helicopters that they use to film the scenes. They couldn't get a picture of the shark without the helicopters in the background. It didn't have the time to edit it out. So that's how they got this cover from the movie. Okay. I'm going to be Hannah. I want to be the guy making the movie. I want you to ask me about this. I'm going to tell you I'm making the movie and then I want you to ask me about the stuff in that photo. Okay. I got a movie. I'm pitching. It's called Cocaine Shark. I think it can be big. We got the bear happening. I think this movie will rock. Do you have any questions? Movie torture producer. It kind of looks like from this from this cover photo for the movie. It looks like at some point the shark eats the cocaine much like in cocaine bear that you're trying to capitalize off of. Does that happen in the movie? Okay. Well, we're trying to be a little kid friendly. We want to be a TV 14. I know the cocaine bears an R rated movie. So we're going to keep it down. You're not going to see a lot of powder and if you do, it's going to be sugar. It's going to look really weird. We're going to have one scene. One scene. I'll give you one scene. What's another question you have? Okay. Well, it looks like it's going to be a very high action movie. It looks like there's some helicopters. Lots of action. It looks like it's maybe some stormy seas going on with a really big boat. Are y'all smuggling cocaine? Is that part of the storyline? No, there's no smuggling. I will say there's not going to be a storm. We can't afford that budget. So we're just going to have a shark that's going to look scary. It's going to be a whole a whole shark. Well, okay. Well, my buddy down the street, he created a shark head. Well, his kid did in fifth grade. It looks good. It's a shark head. The teeth, it's kind of scary. It scared my three year old. So I think we can use that. It'll save money. You like saving money, right? Yeah. Sometimes I'm just not sure how much money are you saving? Well, can we borrow a helicopter? Do you know if we can still one? If we can still a helicopter, I will put it in there at least to give an overhead shot of my son's fifth grade friend's shark head. I'm sure if you bribed with enough cocaine and threatened with enough vicious sharks, you could get as many helicopters as you want. You could even get three because that's how many you have in the poster. We don't, like I said, we're not going to be big on cocaine. We're not going to be big on sharks and we're not going to be big on the helicopter. But the name cocaine shark, I'm telling you, it's going to be a winner. So you would say just to clarify that the poster for this movie is entirely accurate for what people will be getting out of this movie. I think in their mind, they're going to want to see that stuff. So when they're watching it, they can visualize, look, and I can also shoot this movie. I can shoot this movie. Visual effects. Sorry. That's up to you. That's in the eye of the boulder. I'm going to have my fifth grader edit the movie and I'm sure he'll think it's good. But I'll shoot the movie. Here's the great thing. I'll shoot it in six days. We'll have it done. You can release it in seven days. What do you think, right? Is that a good pitch? Did you like that? I'll tell you what, man, that's classic. That's classic film right there. Oh my gosh. When I started, what people threw me off is that in one of the very first scenes when they go into the lab, at first glance, it looks super high tech because he has the glass tablet that he's pressing on stuff and you can see it looks like it's very futuristic and then they go over to the computer and it looks like it's a keyboard from 1995 and I'm like, "Where are we high tech? Are we back in the 90s?" Yeah. They did it up at the Goodwill. Yeah, definitely. You could hear the, when you know you used to get on the internet and you would hear the beep in the background, bestie, or logging on to the internet. Oh my gosh. The lighting, it looked like they borrowed some ring lights to illuminate people's faces when they were filming. And when they were getting high on that drop, what did she say it was? Oh, I have it. I have the entire description. You want to know what that drug was? A powerful narcotic taken from the glands of marine sharks. HT25 is the first class of a new generation of pharmaceutical substance, making use of powerful and specific psychotropic chemicals enhanced with nanobot technology. Biological metamorphosis can be accomplished while avoiding the emotional stress that would normally accompany such radical tissue transformation. I feel like they just tried to fit as many smart words in there as they could and were like, "This is the drug." But I'm talking about when they, after they had cuddled, air quotes, and they were laying in bed, she turned, like, assessing, getting high. She had, she used a weird term to like, then so like, drop, ask, like, you know, they say drop, ask, or whatever. She used, I can't think of the term that she used for them to take the drug, and I thought it was just really weird. I can't remember that, I didn't write it down. That was the point of them snuggling in bed. Okay, I'm not sure. I'm just, yeah, they did snuggle and they did drop. They dropped acid. Did that turn him into one that was heat? I'm confused. Was that guy a shark? See, in the, for the first time they did it, I wondered if it was turning him into a shark, because then after that, they had the scenes with all the bloody people toward the blast. Seeing, you know, it shows him, like, attacked and brought with a shadow of, like, a shark. Yeah, and the baby's a shark. I think he's the shark. I think, I think here's what happened is they got to a certain point and I said, listen, we've riding money. We've got to give the cameras back to the place we really did them from. So this is how we run out to them. The kinkos. We really cameras from Kinkos. From where? Kinkos. You never heard of Kinkos? Office place. Yeah. What's that? Where'd you make cameras from? I don't remember. I don't remember. From the library. We ran them from the library. Costco, Sam's Club, you know. No, they probably bought cameras there, so they, but they had to return them from the return policy. Yeah, full refund. What, you know, the, the, the, the, the wrong wedding dresses, you know, don't mess that up. Oh crap. You let that shark mess the camera up. Yeah. And don't drop the camera. So return them. Don't drop the camera. No. Do you have HT 25? I set in my bed wondering what am I going to do now? I'm a police officer. I'm a man of the law. I have a power beard. It's beard. It's pretty gnarly. I love to have that beard. The clearest, best-lit scene of the movie is when the briefcase falls into the ocean. Oh my gosh. It's like they're in, they're in the sandy beaches of Florida where the water's really clear. You can see everything. Okay, Raj, if me and you're on a boat, and there's a shark around, and we know about said shark, and we drop a briefcase. You look at me, you're like, you're going to go get that. I'm like, I'm not going to get in that briefcase. Are you crazy? I mean, there's no winning in this situation. He got out though, right? Did he make it? Yeah, he made it. My thing would have been I'm going to die either way, so you might as well shoot me and let me fall in the water. Yeah. And then the shark will eat me up while you're getting the briefcase, you know? Yeah, I would rather be shot than eaten by a shark. Yeah. That's the thing. I'd better have that as my fate. I also don't want you to get what you want if you're threatening to kill me, so you still got to go get it yourself. Yeah, you're not going to shoot me because you know you need it. So I'm going to be like, am I getting that? You just shoot me. So I don't think we have described these creatures that were a side effect from coming up with this drug. This is our big part of the movie, and we haven't talked about this. Is it the crabs? The crab thing? Okay. Well, there were a few different creatures. There was like some kind of they were all a mix of two things. Yeah. So there was a crab thing, it looks like a spider bat in one of them. And then there was the shark that was also part man, and then there was a big crab shark octopus looking thing. They're all terrifying, but also terrible looking. Wait, were you scared of those, Hannah? No, the idea of it, I guess, is terrifying. They look nasty. They don't look real at all. I'm like, you are not scared in this movie, please help me. I was embarrassed. The main emotion I felt was embarrassment. Let me ask you this really fast, this is an important question. Producer, if PG had watched this, I don't want to ask him this. If you go on a first date and you go out with a guy and he's like, man, I want you to watch this movie with me. You're going to love it. You're going to love this movie. And it turns out to be, okay, I know I just interrupted a great conversation, but my name is Brad and you may be listening to me or any of the other talent we have on this network. At HopeCast, we want to thank you for listening, but also, we want you to like and subscribe to the show you're listening to. So when you're done listening, go on the iTunes or the Spotify and leave a great review if you like it and follow the show on Instagram and any other platforms that it's on. I think we're on TikTok. So follow us on TikTok, but make sure you leave us a review. We love good reviews here at the HopeCast Network. Now I guess I'll let you get back to your show. We'll say cocaine shark. Is that a deal breaker? If he genuinely believes this is the height of like he likes this better than cocaine shark. Cocaine bear or cocaine bear. Yeah, I can't keep cocaine stories right. No, it's a note from me. You would break up with him. Especially if he'd seen it before. If he'd seen him for us to say, "Hey, I don't like this movie." Yeah. I need you to watch with me. Kristen, Kristen Burt is an entertainment reporter. She came on work advice with me and Roger and me and PG recorded Santa Jaws. And I sent her a personal message and I'm like, "Hey, Kristen, you need to watch Santa Jaws to be sent her the link." I want to hear what she thinks about Santa Jaws. But I don't think I would subject her to this one. I feel like she would block me. I feel like she would block me. She's good at me and her chat back and forth a lot about movies. I feel like she would block me. This is like a deal breaker. What do you think? This 10 minutes in, I started looking at the clock and I was like, "Man, we're still like an hour and 10 minutes to the left of this movie." I cannot-- It was only an hour and 11 minutes. Then you can put one minute more. This was the shortest movie we've ever done on movie torture. Like short movie. I didn't realize it was that short because it felt good. But I was so confused when I started watching it because you said in our group text, you were like, "You did cocaine beer, so we got to do cocaine shark." And I was expecting something of similar-- Yeah. With like actors and a plot and-- Actual movie. Okay, my biggest gripe, Roger, you might remember this with the Meg 2. Hannah, did you do the Meg 2 with us? I did not. I heard about it. There wasn't enough shark in in that movie. You know, you want to see a shark movie. We didn't get the shark in. In this movie, not enough cocaine. We need to see the cocaine in the shark because you're right. The bear snorts the coke and then he starts killing the people. Like that's the joke. There's no joke in this movie. It's not even humorous. No, there's a movie. The movie is the joke. I guess. The jokes on the viewer. That's who the jokes on because they lost an hour and 12 minutes of their life watching a six day film movie. It's weird. But-- I would show this movie to my brothers. Like if we were just having a sibling hangout, I was like, "Yo, we're going to make fun of this movie." Because it's not terrible. It's hard because I'd watch this again. It's hard to make fun of though because it's so bad. You're just watching it going, "I can't understand it." The narration hand, Roger, the narration was horrible in this movie. That guy would put you to sleep. He's an ambient. Wait a minute. I mean, he's a free ambient. I think the people who did this movie said, "Hey, let's make an example of the worst movie ever made." Like bad plot line, bad sound, bad visuals, bad camera work, bad sound effects. Unless we'll shoot for that, that's going to be the worst ever and everything. If that was their goal, they would have been-- they'd have hit the mark with this one. I don't even know what the-- who-- what was the guy's name with the beard? I don't even know his name. I'm trying to-- You can't look him up on-- you can't-- there's no photo of this guy. I'm Dylan, baby. I don't know. Captain Dylan? Because he was a-- I don't see a Captain Dylan in the cast. Is it Gerosco? Can Van Sant? It's got to be him, right? Can Van Sant-- I'm going to search him on the Insta's and see if this is him. The Insta's? Can Van Sant. I want to get this guy-- I mean, not him. I don't think he's on Insta's-- I don't see how little comes up about the cast when you Google it. Yeah. It's also really funny that they-- they call this horror and action. No, Ken Van Sant is not-- is not the actor. It's not that, guys. Titus? Nope. Not Titus. What about Kevin Coolidge? I mean, I love how Fuente, maybe it's Fuente, Ryan Dalton. I'm pretty sure that's not the white guy. It's not. So none of us know who the guy was. I mean, I'm sure this is very great listen for the people listening to our podcast right now. No. It's embarrassing. I'm telling you, it's embarrassing. This movie is quite-- the narration along. Okay. Where did his beard go? Did he have to shave his beard for a job interview and just didn't care? Or what? Like, is it-- Oh, it was for their date. He shaved the beard for their date? I guess. He looked way better than that. Did you say that? Oh, they're true. Yeah. I will make him a truth out. Yeah. He-- no, he didn't say it, but he knew they were going out, and so he showed up to the date. Because I can't-- Thank you. Who's the guy? Yeah. This random dude come from. I'm thinking that too, Roger. I'm like, is this the guy with the beard? I couldn't remember. Yeah. His hair looked awful. He just-- he looked better before. That was a power. I wish I could have a beard. If I had a beard like that, my gosh. All my brothers have beards like that, and it is so funny to me how-- how envious men are of it. It was-- yeah. It was crazy. Roger, you kind of remind me of a guy in this movie. Like a younger Roger with long hair, the dude that goes on the date. Hannah, you know what I'm talking about, right? Like a guy who goes on the date? Yes. He goes on the date. He looks kind of like, um-- he looks kind of like-- oh, not this guy. He's like, I don't see the boss man. He's the one that-- he goes on the date-- oh, my gosh. Is it this guy? Ken-- is it Ken Van Sands? I don't know about his names, because it's so hard to find them on Google. Yeah, it's Ken Van Sands. I think it's this guy. I can't see. That's not right. Hold on. Maybe not this guy. I don't know. I thought it was at the cabin holding the bro hostage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought you were talking about, yeah. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's it. Hold on a minute. I'm pulling up the cooking engine. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. The boss man. That's what I'm saying. What's the name of that guy? You kind of reminds me of you a little bit with hair. When you had hair, I always think about your long-flowing red hair. Hold on a minute. Let's get back here. You don't do Roger like that. Don't do Roger like that. Oh, your little buddy's throwing shots fired by me. I mean, we've already-- Hey. In this movie, there's not even much I was talking about in this movie. It's hard to describe. Like, if you want to watch this on TV, you can subject yourself to it. I wouldn't recommend it to do this, honestly. I mean, we were really showing our hand early in this, but-- Yeah. I mean-- One of the first notes I wrote was that the best part of this whole movie was the three minutes of credits at the beginning, which was in eternity. There was three minutes of credits in an hour and 16 minute movie. The credits were so long, and they were at the beginning. I was like, can we get-- Get you. And the only way-- the only way you should watch this movie is if you take the HT-25, while you're watching it, you know, to give you some kind of-- Well, don't do that. You might turn into a man shark. Yeah. What'd you do if you saw a shark walk another day? I'd be like, Maui? Would you take HT-20-- would you-- if somebody said, here's a pill, you can turn into a killer shark. Like, I feel like there's people that would do that. Oh, yeah. There are people who would do that. That's so cool. You know. There's no way I would do that. I'm not wanting to turn into a shark. And there's some-- there's a shark, like, does it need water? We don't-- is this an ocean town? I mean, do we even know if it's an ocean town? Not really, because the only time that show water was when they get on the lake to go to the house in the middle of the woods. It's a lake. There's not even an ocean. Again, we have a lake problem, Roger. We had the same problem as Sanajals. It was a lake. Like, why are we taking the great whites and putting them in lake water? Why don't we leave them in the ocean? And we'll understand that. It's weird to me. It sounds like they were-- it was me to be set like a New Zealand. What? They're kiwis. These are kiwis. There's nobody that was kiwi. Hm? That makes no sense. Yeah. Like zero sense. Roger. Did you take some HT25 before we started? Yeah, this is what I'm reading in here and said, "After the announcement of the film "Cocaine Bear," which was based on the two story, users of social media discussed a potential sequel film called "Cocaine Shark," based on a story reporting that cocaine was intercepted in the Pacific Ocean by New Zealand authorities. That would be a better movie. I mean, if we did-- okay, if we thought "Cocaine Shark," I would think cocaine shark would be a shark eats a drug boats cocaine. Like, it just comes in and starts chowing now, but now it's attacking the ship. That are only ocean. I mean, it's like rare and it's coming in there and just vital. That would have been a way more exciting movie, 'til like now you got these people scared of the shark and it keeps spreading. More and more sharks are eating the cocaine. So now the ocean's full of cocaine sharks. That would be better, right? Yeah. Well, anything would be better than this movie. Yeah. I don't think anything. I mean, watching Roger take a nap would be better than... Awesome. The monsters in this were huge. That monster would be killed on land. I did not realize until that moment that it was supposed to be that big. I think one of them even fit in the lake. The lake wasn't deep enough for that. Yeah. At once we would have had a bad life in the lake, or I'd have been like, "Why am I in this lake? I don't understand it. I need to be in the ocean." Barely would have been covered by water. That thing was huge, and it wasn't very deep when they sent the guy diving down for the suitcase. Oh, yeah. He went down and got... I mean, I would have told him I couldn't swim. What? I can't swim. You're going to throw me and I'm going to drown. So you need to go get it, so I don't know. Roger, do you have any reviews on this movie? Well, yeah, they were a handful, but let's go time to be deep, because there were a wide spectrum of reviews, and the people that gave good reviews either had to be extremely high or a little slow. One guy said that Tyler, his review, was not enough sharks on cocaine, and I said this movie was the worst thing I've ever seen. He said he didn't want to give it to a store, but he had to give it one or it wouldn't take. And neither said it was a disease. 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Vasture of a movie, and it just basically did tear it apart. I know what said, de-grained psychedelic absurdity. And then one guy said cocaine beer was trash. Now what, what is this? Super trash? First of all, disrespectful to cocaine beer. And one guy said he titled his not high enough. He says, "No pun intended, I really tried to avoid giving one out of ten if possible. I'm accused of being too nice when it comes to reading movies, I just couldn't." What shocked me is that it's not this way anymore, just in the last few days it has changed. I watched this movie on IMDB app for the parents guide for this movie. It said, "Sex and nudity, severe, violence and gore, severe, profanity, severe, alcohol drugs and smoking, severe, frightening and intense scenes, severe." I'm like, well it didn't have any of those things. What are you talking about? I feel like, I got some reviews that's going to blow your mind. I feel like, at least people had to be trolling us on the reviews. Abby Clark wrote, "Eight months ago, five stars." I watched this movie last week for the first time and let me tell you, I haven't stopped thinking about it since. The ending left me completely shocked and I just had to give it a five star rating. I can't even remember the last time I watched a movie that's good. The writers really knew what they were doing and the dedication and attention to detail is phenomenal. I absolutely love this movie with my whole heart. That sounds like sarcasm. Lila Oliver writes, "This movie is phenomenal, I've never seen anything better. The editing skills are immaculate. It also looks really realistic. It's entertaining. It seems like this movie is made in 3,000. I haven't been watching it for 30 minutes and I'd like to see you like, I would like to see you like four hours in more of this movie." And then Caroline Murphy writes, "Absolutely fabulous. It was filmed on Nokia 3310. She knows what it was filmed on. The shark is-- I don't know if it works on an iPhone. Is that worse than an iPhone? Yes. I could have filmed a better quality movie using cinematic mode on my phone. The shark was very relatable. I feel like she's traveling and this is hilarious. The acting needs an Oscar award. I'm going to watch this again. It's that good. Makes jaws look like goldfish." "This is fake. This has to be sarcasm, right?" Best movie ever says Siga. The CGI was the best. So good. Totally does not look like a toy shark and does not look like they recorded it in a basement. People are trolling. 100% they're trolling. I love reading it. Best movie hands down. Looks realistic and got me on the edge of my seat. Looking forward to cocaine shark too. I kind of like reading the trolls better than the movie. One guy said that he said it was amazing to how it's in. In the very end, he says, "In conclusion, the movie was terrible. It had bad acting and bad graphics for watching it with other people makes it more funny." I agree with that. That's what I'm saying. I would watch this as my brother's to make fun of it. I think that would be a hilarious experience. And ladies is literally the best thing ever filmed. I can't recommend this movie enough. I love the sarcasm that people give. This is a Hannah First Lady movie torture movie call. This is movie torture. This might be the worst thing I've ever watched in my life. So bear it. We watched it. This is people in the house. That's what they're going to judge me. They get on a casual Tuesday to tell and watch stuff like this. I know. I texted it. Have you watched it yet? You're like, no. And then you said I'm embarrassed to be watching this right now. Oh, Raj, movie torture movie go. This was extreme torture of the... It's like... Yeah, cutting the fingernails off, waterboarding. Yeah, waterboarding for sure. You know, jumper cables on the nipples. It was that. I actually would prefer any one of... Or all three of those things before watching this movie again. Roger. This movie... I figured this might happen and I don't know if you'll be men enough to admit it or not on the podcast. But did this movie make Santa Jaws look like a masterpiece? Yes. I'm not my head. You asked for those who gets to me. You don't like Santa Jaws, but I figured that Santa Jaws might be the best of the lot this month. So I can already give you a preview of my top worst of all time. This is number one and Santa Jaws is sliding the number through it. I just figured you own Santa Jaws's number two. Santa Jaws is a great movie. I love me some Santa Jaws. Hannah, you need to watch Santa Jaws. You'll laugh and you'll enjoy it. This movie for me, movie torture, this takes the cake. This is the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. This does not count as a movie. This counts as friends with a Nokia 3310 who just got out of prison and decided to do a school project because this movie was straight dookie. There was nothing good about this movie. Everything was terrible. They should not have made this movie and they should. I would not. We would not watch a cocaine shark too, but the only thing I liked about this movie, there was two things, the power beard, I like the power beard and the runtime, which again, if I have to choose, gun to hit, watch this movie again, or watch Batman and Robin. I'm taking this movie because I'm going to be done sooner. Batman and Robin's over two hours. Also, this is just more fun to make fun of. You can generally just make fun of this movie. This is a terrible movie, but I'm not going to say it's the worst movie experience I've had on movie torture because this was not as torturous to me as Batman and Robin or son of the mass or or that long two hour J-Lo movie that I hate. What was it called? Hannah, you did that with us, right? What was it? It's the one we're seeing. It's not that plain. Yeah. That movie was dookie. It was good. That was cool. There it is. That was cool. You were on some HT-25s right now. You just liked J-Lo, that's why. Well, you need to get off that HT-25 cocaine and actually get with the real world. This movie was, I would watch this again before I watched that movie because Hannah's right. We could make fun of it. All right. So who was the Gary, producer Gary in this movie? Oh my gosh. I don't even want to be like the Gary. That's some rude. I don't even know if he's in the movie. I haven't got shot. Yeah, just take him out so he doesn't have to experience it. No, I think Gary's the main guy with the power beard. Yeah. Did you see him? He looks like he didn't be that guy. He's just chilling. He's just laying around. He's got the chick. He's a shark. That's Gary. Gary's the power beard in my mind. Yeah. Would Larry the cable guy make this movie better? No. Larry the cable guy doesn't need to be here. Who's going to be a shark bait? No. Anyway, for my first lady of a movie, Torture Hannah, for my good buddy Roger. My name is Brad. We will see you next week on the movie Torture. [MUSIC] [SOUND] [MUSIC] [SOUND] [MUSIC] [SOUND] [MUSIC] [SOUND] [MUSIC] [SOUND] [MUSIC] [SOUND] [MUSIC] [SOUND] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [SOUND] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC]