- This is the Hope Cast Network. Stories and shows you actually wanna listen to. (upbeat music) - Welcome to this month's Made Up Movie on Movie Torture. My name is Brad and I'm joined by my co-host, Raj. How you doing Raj? - It's good to be with you, man. You're a podcast star all over the place. Video podcasts on the work podcast, man. You just are the podcast, man. - Oh, thank you, I appreciate that. I'm really not, but we're joined by producer Gary, not in his Hawaiian shirt tonight. Disappointed sadly, ladies, it's not on. You doing okay, Gary? - I am. - And we're joined by Jonathan, who was wearing the headphones. They weren't plugged in so we're laughing about that right now. That's why we saw they were laughing when we came on because he had headphones not plugged in. - Y'all didn't know this, but the movie Radio was inspired by me. - Oh, that's gonna be your new nickname, Radio. So as always, the way this works, first, if you haven't made up movie, email us at movietorturepod@gmail.com, slide those DMs on Instagram, movie torture pod. But basically, someone writes this in and pitches an idea and we decide, right, Raj? - Yeah. - If it's a good enough movie to be in Hollywood or the trash can. - Yeah. - So Gary's gonna read us, we have not read this yet, Gary's gonna read us this month's made up movie and he's struggling right now, 'cause he's having to pull it up. It's like he didn't know he had to do this, Raj. (laughing) Such a Gary move. - Hey, he's moving the buttons and he's over there just doing his job. - He is. - All right, are you all ready? - We're ready, Gary. - Okay, this one comes from Cindy in Dick Shooter, Idaho. - Wait, wait, have you ever been to Dick Shooter, Idaho, Gary? - No. No, I don't know. As a guy, I don't know if I want to go to Dick Shooter, Idaho. It just sounds like a very female, female forward town, right? - Female forward town, that's money. - As bad as Anis Missouri. - Oh, guys, I think I'd rather go to Anis Missouri, again, I don't know. - I got the best fudge in the world. - Oh, my gosh, Raj, that's-- (laughing) - True story, true story, Google it, Google it. That's on a postcard of the town. It says, "Anis Missouri, will you get the best fudge ever?" Sorry. - I just looked up Dick Shooter and it's named after a man named Dick Shooter, which means his name was Richard Shooter and he chose to go by Dick so he could be Dick Shooter. - If I didn't go by Dick, I would go by Ricky. Ricky Shooter. - Oh, Ricky Shooter's way better. - I sound like a power name. I'm what's your name, Ricky Shooter. Anyway, what is she right? What kind of movie, what kind of garbage are we here in this month? - Okay, so it sounds like a Christmas movie. It's called "The Santa Clause." - Well, we are in the month of December, so I'm glad that she sits. - Isn't there already a movie named "The Santa Clause"? There's like three of them and then they're, yeah. - Well, maybe in Dick Shooter Idaho, they don't have Disney Plus to watch "The Santa Clause." - Okay, so it says, "In a world where toy prices "are out of control and children's belief in Santa "is dwindling, parents frantically try to keep "their kids believing in Santa "in order to fulfill the Santa Clause, "a contract and parent sign on the day of birth "of their kids presented at the hospital by Santa's Elf "that states that as long as their child believes in Santa, "that they will build and deliver toys each Christmas "in an effort to increase fourth quarter sales "in an evil toy company will stop at nothing "to make kids stop believing." I know the name was already taken by Tim Allen, so I was thinking about other names like "The Santa Rider" or "The Christmas Clause." - Okay, there's a lot going on this plot. I actually like this plot. I would envision that Cindy doesn't get out much in Dick Shooter Idaho, so she thinks about Christmas a lot. But hearing her pitch, I kind of like it because you're a parent trying to make sure your kid doesn't stop believing in Santa. - Yeah, I mean, that's always, you know, some parents make their kids do it, you know, like 10, 11 years old sometimes, you know, tell them the kids, like, "You gotta believe, you gotta believe, "or you don't want anything for Christmas." So I think, I think Chris still has it with you that you have to act like you believe in Santa for you getting anything for Christmas, right? - Oh my gosh, man. Did she make you sit on her lap? - Oh my gosh, she doesn't mean get off. I was crushed when my son stopped believing in Santa. I was really frustrated with that. It bothered me. My wife was enjoying it. She was like, "He doesn't want to believe in Santa, "he's more brand." And I'm like, I hate it because it's like, his childhood is going at that point. - That's the best impression he's done so far of Chris. - I'm just shook that Kristen was happy that he quit believing in Santa. She was, she was like, "I think..." She was like, "I told you who's gone. "I'm gonna tell it." I'm like, "Oh my gosh, man." She hasn't listened to this, so it's gonna be-- - I was proud of my son, but I told him that he figured it out and I said, "But you can't go to school and ruin it for other kids." He's like, "Okay, Dad, I won't do that." But yeah, he figured it out pretty quickly. I was pretty proud of him. - It took me a while. I finally figured out Santa was real when I turned 20. - That kid told me on the school bus, and I remember crying on the school bus. - Oh my gosh, man. Cindy from Dick Shooter needs to write that scene in there crying. - Oh, there could be a good scene in it. - They don't believe in it, and the tear drops, and right before it hits the ground, someone catches it and goes, "Santas real." And then the kid gets in the van. - So, would this be like a-- - Yeah, I'd like that comment. - So would this be like a "Homework" movie where there has to be a romance involved? What maybe two single parents with kids who become friends and the two parents, first don't like each other, and they argue and fuss, and then go out, do some things as two families, and all of a sudden, the next thing they know, they become a couple? - I'm thinking a married couple. Like, and the guy just lost his job and he stressed about Christmas, so he can't let the kid stop believing 'cause he needs Santa to bring all the gifts. - What if he was contemplating robbing a bank? - Oh, man. - I have a question. What kind of Santa are we, is this? Is this like the classic regular big guy, like, does the ride's a sleigh and everything, or is it like, I don't know, is he a forceful, like, don't stop believing in Christmas. I'm real, and he's-- I'm imagining like a big Santa. - He's like, "Don't stop believing." - I don't imagine him dressed like he's a jock, like he's, like he's buff, right? - What if we made him a hipster, Santa? - No. - We're an anti-claws, it could be a claw, Santa Claus and an anti-Santa Claus, like, you know, he wears black instead of red. - That's bad, Santa. - Yeah. - What if-- - He's still dressed like Santa. - What if he wore, like, red skinny jeans, and a white shirt, and he drank craft beer? - That sounds like a passer at a non-denominational church. (laughing) - See, no, I'm imagining, like, a lumberjack, Santa. Like, he's-- - Oh, my gosh. - I don't know, like, here, get your mind out of the gutter. - He's got the suspenders, but he's like, he's Jack. - No shit on underneath it, he's Jack. Yeah, he's gotta be like-- - He's Jack. - That's what I wanna make, he's like tall. - It's like, John Cena, Santa in this movie? - Yes. - Yes. - I'm imagining a one that, like, smokes heaters. - Well, he could do that too. (laughing) - He's from Dick Shooter, I don't know. - Yeah. - He doesn't deliver to Dick Shooter, that's the problem. - Yeah. - Santa always, like, he always, I always imagine it was the type of person that smoked a pipe. I don't know if-- - He does. (upbeat music) - Okay, I know I just interrupted a great conversation, but my name is Brad, and you may be listening to me or any of the other talent we have on this network at HopeCast. We wanna thank you for listening, but also, we want you to like and subscribe to the show you're listening to. So, when you're done listening, go on the iTunes or the Spotify and leave a great review, if you like it, and follow the show on Instagram and any other platforms that it's on. I think we're on TikTok, so follow us on TikTok. But make sure you leave us a review. We love good reviews here at the HopeCast Network. Now, I guess I'll let you get back to your show. - I hate to interrupt what you're doing now, but something very important I need to let you know about. When you purchase generous coffee beans, we want you to try to enjoy each brew for two reasons. Number one, because you're a part of something bigger, making a positive impact around the world. And number two, 'cause we did not compromise on the quality of coffee, you're drinking some of the best coffee in the world. 100% of profits are donated to nonprofits that are fighting injustice facing humans around the world, Wallace. That's powerful. Generous is best known for especially coffee, but the heartbeat of generous is their hope to use for profit business for good. In 2024, generous is hoping to provide coffee to churches around the US to spread a message within congregations that churches care about people even down to the coffee they are serving and the people they enjoy. I apologize for that extremely long run-on sentence. If you have interest in hearing more about generous coffee, please reach out to their founder, Ben Higgins. And Ben Higgins at generousmovement.com. Thank you and back to our scheduled podcast. - That's supposed to pipe in the photos, right? - It does. - What am I saying is drinking a Coke? - My saying is most marvelous. - I think in today's world it'd be like anti-smoking or it would be like, okay, we gotta make a Santa smoking weed now. - Ooh, hipster Santa smoking weed. - Hipster Santa. - With corn rolls. - Does our Santa have an opiate? (laughing) - A dicksory. - What? - No, we can't have a hipster, man. - It just turns super dark. - It's like, I'm sorry. - All those years of carrying the heavy bag. - He's got a back injury. - He's kind of bad magic to work with him. (laughing) - He's got a hit. - He's home to the North Pole and that's in his perk every night, he's like. - Yeah, but then like, every house he goes to, he has to smoke, that would mean he would have to smoke-- - He rains their medicine cabinets still a raincoat. - He's like, well, he's like, now I've got munchies, right? - Kids leave pills for Santa instead of cookies. - No, that's why they have the cookies because he's been smoking, so he's got the munchies. - What's that? - You're still in the smoking, we're on the field. - What's that smell downstairs? (laughing) - Santa's smoking the gonger. - Santa's got a stash. - Anyway. - He's, what if Santa was a dealer? Like, he's, he leaves stuff, little baggies for the family on his way out. - The first doses, you know, the freebies. - He gives free pills to people, he's a pill-pusher. - Wait, is that like, for the parents or the kids, like, is that potpourri, it's-- - No, he leaves like Xanaxes for the moms, so they can stay-- - Oh, look mom and dad, Santa left you skittles. (laughing) - You know mommy loves her Xanaxes, like, thanks Santa. - Oh man. (laughing) - I like this idea of a movie though. - Cindy from Dick Shooter's never gonna listen to this again. - Yeah, she's goin' man. Our one listener from Idaho is definitely never listening again because, but Cindy, it's a great pitch, Cindy. I like it. Who is playing the dad? - The dad? - I thought John was about to put on his headphones with their own hooked up again right now. - Who would be a good candidate for the dad? - Ooh, ooh. - The dude from Modern Family. - Phil Dunphy? - Yeah, yeah. - Somebody like that, I was thinking someone like Chris Hemsworth again, he would be kinda funny. He's kinda buff as a dad, he's funny. - I thought we agreed no Chris Hemsworth references when you know who wasn't around. - Oh, and Hannah's not here? - Yeah. - First lady of movie torture, Hannah. - Yeah. - Okay, scratch that. What about Ryan Reynolds? - As the dad? - As the dad. - I think he'd be funny. Like he's pretty funny, I think he'd maybe. - Who's Santa? - Who's Santa? - I wanna like. - Well we gotta-- - Well Jim's not acting anymore. - Yeah, he's, I don't think Santa really matters. I think it's just a fat Santa. - I don't think Santa matters. - Kevin James? - Kevin James, call back to the second episode. - Jonah Hill? - Jonah Hill's he's skinny now. - Well, I mean he's fattened up for other roles again, so. Has anybody in this circle of friends right here ever dressed up like Santa? - I have. - I have. - Once for the church. - Wait, all four of us have more Santa costumes at one time in our life. - Brad, you know what I have. - I know. - You mate. - What'd you go to a Magic Christmas party? - Oh, don't, hey, don't hate that I'm four foot 10. I'm an elf. Okay, I'm Santa's elf. I'm the one that supplies Santa with the opiates. - I really don't. We do not condone drug use in this podcast. - No, we don't. - Gary's awful quiet. What's going on over there, Gary? - He's doing research. - Has anybody here ever dressed as an Easter buddy? - I have not. - Nope. - Yes. - Has anybody here ever dressed as a taco? - Oh my gosh, are you just going through all the things you've gotten me to wear? - Yeah. - We're just talking. - Brad's dressed up as a hot dog. - Yeah. Has anybody ever dressed up as a hot dog? - Why did you put hair? Like, I'm asking, why did you have to have the hair? That's still never understood Sir Hot Dog. - Sir Hot Dog is a staple around here, but Gary is Sir Hot Dog. But anyway, we'll let me say. - He's a real wiener. - Who's the girl in the movie? Who's the chick? - Cindy. - The mom? - Do you want to just cast Cindy from Dick Shooter? - Yeah, she created it, man. - I like it. - Cindy from Dick Shooter. - She can direct and produce the movie as well. - Or Adam Sandler's wife. She does good in those kind of like, mom roles. - Yeah, what about like? - What role can Neil Armstrong play in this movie? - He's dead, right? - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Oh, my God. - He's dead. - He can play the picture on the wall in the house, you know, just up there. - Hanging up in the background. - Would Gary, would producer Gary be good in this movie? - Oh, what would Gary? - He could be in this movie. We could cast him as like the 18-year-old high school kid being mean to the kids on the bus. - Or he could be the head elf, like really tall? - He's too tall to be an elf. - That way he could be like, you know, the elf. - And will he be, am I like the Will Ferrell elf where I'm like the giant elf? - What if he runs the switchboard at North Pole? Like he's constantly like, welcome to North Pole, my name's producer Gary. - I'm the like the train conductor. - Yes, greeks everybody as they get off to it. - Next stop, opioid land. To your left kids is, what Santa used to look like before his bag injury. - Yeah, that's why everything looks so magical in the North Pole because of drugs. - Santa's got the elf's hooked on drugs. - That's how they keep some going. - Yeah, that's why they work 24 hours a day. - They're like, Santa, I'm so tired. - He's like, no, you're not. - It's like good to work. I needed these toys done by the end of November. And they're like, we can't, my hand Santa. Take one of these, the doctor will be around. - This will give you plenty of energy. - He's giving him a bunch of uppers. - I imagine I'm running on coke, yeah, but the elves are running on coke. They're like snoring off the table. - I got a meaning to the snow at North Pole. - Yes, no, yeah. - We got deadlines. - All right, Cindy, I think we're gonna can this movie. - No, I like this movie, Cindy. I think it's worthy of being made. Minus the drug use. - It's better than some of the other ones we've done. - Yeah, it's definitely better than the football one. - Yeah. - Months ago. I don't know if it's with Superflex. I think it's in the Superflex we're at land. I think it's one of the best. - Superflex is a billion dollar film. - Yeah. - This could be a Christmas classic. - Christmas classic. - Yeah, I can just see Roger at like 73, just curled up with Crystal watching this movie for the 40th time. - Oh my gosh. - Cole, when does Santa hurt his back? - Let's turn on the Santa Claus, not the crap one with Tim Allen. Let's get the real deal in here. - We do need a movie where Santa has a back injury and gets hooked on drugs. And one of the elves has to like bring him back. - That's bad Santa for probably. - Yeah. - That's gotta be a bad Santa movie, right? - Bad Santa, thoughts on the first one, really good, right? - I've never saw him. - Oh my gosh. - What? - Oh man. - Producer Gary has been fired. - I've seen the first one. I don't know if I've seen any after that. - I didn't see the second one. I heard it's garbage. It probably could be a movie torture at Christmas time. - You gotta watch the first one. - We're gonna do bad Santa eventually on here. So the second one, not the first one. Anyway, Sandy, thank you for being a loyal listener and dick shooter Idaho. And if you're listening and you got a movie idea, you want us to go over, email us, shoot us a DM, movie torture pod. My name's Brad for Roger, Jonathan, producer Gary. We'll see you next month. (whistling) (upbeat music) (whistling) (whistling) (whistling) (upbeat music) (whistling) (whistling) (upbeat music) (whistling) (upbeat rock music)
