(upbeat music) - Hello, everyone. My name is Ashley, our post-time back, and I am thrilled to announce my new podcast on the Hopecast Network, Locks of Locks, where I will be chatting with comedians, restaurant tours, and everyone in the entertainment industry about comedy, duh, pop culture, and of course, a little bit of food. You can follow lots of laughs on Instagram, @locksoflapspodcast, and lots of laughs will be available on Spotify, iTunes, anywhere you listen to podcasts. So, like, follow, subscribe, and I cannot wait to nosh with you. (upbeat music) This is the Hopecast Network. Stories and shows you actually wanna listen to. (upbeat music) (whistling) - Well, welcome to another episode of Movie Torture, along with the painstaking steps we take here, watching bad movies. I've got my co-host, Brad, here with us. - We watch 'em together, Roger. - We do. - Not literally. - Yes. - We're not in the same room or on the same couch. But we're together in this, and we watch the movies that you maybe have thought about watching and thought, "I'm not sure." And then you can listen to us and know, yeah, after listening to the podcast, I know this is not a movie I wanna see. - Exactly. And if you're new, my name's Brad. Thank you, Roger, for introducing me. And we are joined, as always, by our sharp dress producer, Gary. Today, if you're wondering, ladies, he's not in the Hawaiian shirt. He is in a white T-shirt, so you can visualize that. - With the ball cap backwards look. - Backwards, Gary. Backwards cap, Gary. - Which is balling when you have headphones on. I think that's, yeah. - He does look like a baller right now. - He does, he does. - I'm in a cowboy hat right now, and I'm full commando. So you can visualize that, while you're-- - No, nobody wants to. Nobody wants to. - I'm not commandoin' it. - Yeah, we would not be in this room if he was commando right now, I can tell you. - That would be hilarious, but not funny. Anyway, Roger, what's our movie? - Well, Gary, how was your week? - Well, you got to respond to us, buddy. Tell us, how you been doing? - I'm good. I'm good. - That's it. You're good. - I'm glad to be here. Happy to be here. - He's blessed. - He's blessed. - Yeah, bless his heart. - Yeah, bless his little heart. That's what they say in the south, right? Bless his little heart. That means, when you hear the word, bless, that's the southern way of saying, - Poor you. - Yeah. - Yeah, you're an idiot. - Yeah. - Poor you. - Poor you, you're an idiot. - Yeah. - Anyway, what's our movie today, Roger? - It is Larry the Cable Guy health inspector. - Or is I like to call it producer Gary, the Cable Guy health inspector? - There we go. Nah, come on now. - I don't wanna insult Gary that much. So this movie came out March 24th of 2006. The budget for this was $17 million. They made $15 million. - Oh, hold on a second. This movie cost $17 million. - Hey, the amount of roaches, you know, cost of roaches, you know. - What year does this come out, Roger? - 2006. - It probably made in 2005, right? What month did it say? - March. - March, so it was made in 2005. - I was trying to figure it, look, I wondered where this was shot. I'm assuming maybe it was in a-- - Alabama, maybe in Atlanta or, 'cause they had a cheer wine there in the background on one of the scenes when he was at the earthquake, was the earthquake. No, what's the guy's name? - I just wanna say why you're looking that up. - Bruce Bruce. - $17 million in 2005 is equivalent to $26.4 million today. What crap did they spend that on, like-- - Maybe Kid Rock. - Oh, how much do you think he charged for a few lines? - I don't know, but Kid Rock and then of course the beef was on that. - He wouldn't even look at the camera. - He was so embarrassed to be in this movie, he did not even look at the camera. - He was making bets on the side. - Making bets is this movie gonna suck? - Yeah. - Who else, like where did this money go? - Like I said, I think on the roaches and on the, could've been on his truck, you know, the-- - So-- - Although we'll get to the truck. I actually like the truck. But we'll get there. - Yeah. But yeah, that's the, kind of the facts that would be in here. Let me go ahead and, well, I'll save that to the end. So hit us with your one minute synopsis. - This movie is about a fat, mentally challenged health inspector. I don't know, is he really mentally? He's just an idiot, right? - Yeah. - And there's a Best Restaurant Award. He gets settled with a partner. There's people getting sick. So we're back to the vomiting again, Roger. I'm excited to say this movie will continue giving us more, more vomit. - Back on track, tour. - Back on track on the vomit train. And basically he's gotta solve the mystery of why is everybody in sick? In the end he figures it out. Blah, blah, blah. He gets the girl and, of course, get her done at the end, was set. - Yeah. - We'll talk more about get her done. - If we have to, yes. - If we have to. - Yeah. - So that's Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector. - Yeah, did you mention the girlfriend? - He had a girlfriend and he out-kicked this coverage. - Of course. - She is, I wouldn't say a smoke show, but she's a smoke show for Larry the Cable Guy. - I think her part was miscast. I think somebody like, who would have been good doing this? I think it, okay. - Do you think they should have went hotter? - I mean, I don't think so. I think they should have went down. - Yeah, I think it should have been somebody who was somewhat a little disgusting. You know, like maybe Avril Lavigne or something. - Oh my gosh, Pink. - Yeah, yeah. - Pink would have been just trashy enough for this trashy, right? - Yeah. - I like the first scene of the movie. So we're introduced to Daniel Whitney, who is otherwise known as Larry the Cable Guy. And he's sleeping in a bed. We get the very first scene, his butt crack. - Well, that was the second scene. The first scene, he had the same alarm clock that I had for like 15 years that, you know, he struggled with, turned it off, but then you had the butt crack appears. - You get to see his butt crack in full glory. - Not just a butt crack, a hairy butt crack. - Oh my gosh, the hair was utterly disgusting. - That's nasty. - And we do not promote hair, that's why we're bald. - All right, just in these first couple scenes, what was the most disgusting out of all of them? - Oh, 100% when he's sitting at the bar at the coffee shop and the guy's rude to the lady and he just does the old kick of the bar and all these roaches just come crawling out. - I mean, for me, the most disgusting thing was when he cleaned his ear with his Q-tip and he put it back in with the clean Q-tips to use again. - I don't even think I noticed that. I think I was trying to get over the butt crack. - See, I'm all about the Q-tips. I do Q-tips every morning to clean out my ears. - You know, you shouldn't put Q-tips in your ear. - I've heard that, I've heard it, but I don't stick it like all the way up in there, you know? So if I did, it probably would... - We are talking about Q-tips, right, Roger? - Q-tips in the ear. - Q-tips in the ear. - I have not scratched my brain with my Q-tips, so yeah. So Larry's in this coffee shop and the guy's rude, right? So Larry kicks the bar, that's a power move. He knows there's roaches under there, but there's not just one roach. Here's not just 10 roaches. And I like how he's so dirty, he doesn't even move. Like he just sits there and continues to read while the roaches crawl over. I would be freaking out, wouldn't you? - Yeah, and just there were so many disgusting scenes in here. So that brings to question, what's one of the most disgusting things you've seen in real life? Like a restaurant or, you know, in a restaurant, something that's disgusting, but you can talk about? - We, my wife and I joined some family members at a lunch and one of the kids was vomiting at the table. And I feel like once you see someone puke at a table, you don't really wanna eat anymore. - Yeah. - It just ruins the whole appetite. - Wants to puke, air puke, everywhere, puke, puke. - Yeah, you don't want that. It's not fun. What about you, Raj? - I don't know, I was thinking about that. Producer Gary, what about you? What's one of the most disgusting things you've ever seen? - I don't know, like I clean bathrooms for a living right now. So to say one particular instance of a disgusting bathroom, I mean, you get a public bathroom some places. It can get pretty bad. I've seen, yeah. - Crucial question here, 'cause this has been debated on many stages. What's the dirtier restaurant, the women's or the men? - I'd say women's bathrooms are pretty gross. Like I think they're much more disgusting than I would expect. - Yeah. - Men's bathrooms, I'm not saying they're clean by any standard. Like, I'm not saying they're like ones, particularly super high on the clean scale already, but women's bathroom's pretty bad. - Who leaves more stains in the bowl? - That just depends on the day. That's what I would hate cleaning toilets. I commend you, producer Gary. - It's gotta be done. - You're a man of many talents. One of them producing another one's cleaning ceramic bowls. - So next question, is peeing in the shower okay? - 100%, I do it every time. Why would any man go to the toilet to then get in the shower and pee and not pee? I don't understand that. - Do you at least aim for the drain? - I just let it go, man. I don't care. It's just me. I mean, who cares? - I mean, I feel like, do you think you make more of a best getting out of the shower to go to the bathroom? 'Cause like, everything gets wet after that. Like, if you get out of the shower. - Wait, are you getting in the shower to then get out and pee? Why wouldn't you just pee before when you get ready to get the shower to bed and pee? - Well, you know, sometimes the water hits you. The water hits you and then you feel all of a sudden the urge comes. - Yeah, it's just like, you know, turn the faucet on and it makes you have to pee sometimes. - Yeah. - But I would say, yeah, I don't think getting out of the shower to pee. - I'm not getting out of the shower for anything. One time in there. - Well, there's one thing. I'd get out of the shower. - I guess if I had to poop, I'd get out of the shower. But other than that, I would still just wait, drive, they'd do my business. I'm sure everybody's quit listening at this point. Hey, by the way, you know, I remiss to say, I should have said, follow us on Instagram, right? - Work advice for me. And you can email us. - Yeah, tell us the most disgusting thing you've ever come across. - Yeah, tell us the most disgusting things. Slides are DM's, work advice for... No, I'm saying work advice. That's not this podcast. - Please don't. - Movie torture. I'm giving the wrong podcast. Movie torture. Movie torture pod. And also you can email us. Movie torture pod. - No way it's got to be podcast when we can't... - Yeah, I'm sorry. - Yeah, I knew that would happen eventually. - That's the much more upper level of podcasts, you know, the one you do for... - Yeah, you can listen to that one. Work advice for me if you won't, but on this one, we have a lot of more lowbrow fun on this one. - So how fun was it to see one of our favorite characters from the '80s, there is Larry's boss? - Who was Larry's boss? - Jeff. - Oh, Biff Tannen, yes. Oh my gosh, I had that, yeah, Biff, I was trying to remember this crap movie. Biff, I kept thinking to myself, what has he done? - Other than Back to the Future? - Well, no, I was gonna say to have to be in a Larry the Cable Guy movie. - Oh, I don't know. Well, I mean, to be honest, I thought his biggest hits were the Back to Future movies, and then I couldn't tell you anything else about him. - Yeah, he's been in some stuff, but yeah, that was the height of his career. - Speaking of just health inspectors, do they carry badges like Larry the Cable Guy does in this movie? Do you think he went to the store and just bought a badge? He's got the fake badge. Is he stolen valoring the valor with police officers? - And I would expect like his badge to have like barbecue sauce or-- - Cheetos? - There's something on the Cheetos dust, yeah. - How many bags of Cheetos do you think he eats while working? - Yeah, he probably goes through a lot, I mean, just-- - How much do you think he farts in that truck? - How much is he for everywhere? - Oh my gosh, I kept thinking, I wouldn't mind being a health inspector. It seems like in this movie, he gets to eat free everywhere he goes. - Yeah. - So perk of the job, free food? - Yeah. - Not perks when you got roaches crawling around everywhere. - What about the one time he farts and he said, you ever fart so hard, get your butt cracks? - Oh, I wrote that down, I was waiting on that. He said, oh my gosh, he had so many, he had some good lives. - Yeah. - He said, I'm so hungry, I could eat the butt hole out of a skirt. - What? - What does that even mean? I'm just imagining Larry the chemical, you know he doesn't really talk like this, right? In real life, he does, he's not even from the south. Think about-- - What? - Nebraska, he's from Nebraska. - Is he Nebraska? - Yeah. - That's why he wears that Nebraska hat. - He's not from the size of Midwesterner, right? - Yeah. - But yet he makes an act on, he's kind of like-- - But he's still a redneck farmer kind of, I mean, so he's not, he's just, the southern accent is, you know. - It's fake. - Yeah. - Who is a, who's better? Larry the cable guy or Ernest? - I'll Larry the cable guy, Ernest annoyed me. - What? - Well, look. - Raj, are you-- - Well at least Larry the cable. - Are you serious? Hey, if you're listening right now, movie torture pod, slide in our DMs, tell us who's better. Ernest, or Larry, Ernest 100 times better. His movies are way better. - But, only else see the difference. I'm thinking about Larry on the stage. Larry's a good community. - Oh, and I'm talking about the character of Larry. He's created the Larry the gable guy, gable guy, cable guy. He's created that character, right? So, Ernest was better. Ernest P. Worrell was way better than Larry the cable guy. - See, I think I have nostalgia for Ernest. Like, I remember watching those as when I was a kid. - He was dead before you were born. - Well, I watched, I didn't think he had chosen-- - He's dead? - I didn't know he's dead. - Oh man, he's been-- - Oh, he's dead? Sorry. - He ever, listeners, if you ever had you, you thought an actor was alive and you find out they've been dead for, I don't know, 23 years. - Or somebody posted on Facebook and you find out that the guy is still alive or, you know, or the one who dies, everybody's like, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear this, this is so sad." And it's like, yeah, it happened five years ago. - He died at the young age of 50. - Oh, wow. - And 2000, February 10th, 2000. - Wow. - Were you alive, producer Gary? - 2000, yeah, I was, would you say February of 2000? - I was less than one year old when I-- - Okay, I went to the theater and saw Ernest goes to camp. - Was that his last one? - That was his first ever movie. - I thought it was-- - I went to the theater and saw Ernest scared stupid. - Oh yeah. - So those are some old movies. I would watch an Ernest movie any day of the week over at Larry the Cable Guy. He's more family-friendly too. - Those are the two I remember when I had them on VHS tape. - Yeah. I love how we're talking about everything but this movie. - We've hit on some high points or low points, I guess you would say. What do you think about the AC and the truck, the window unit? - I was gonna say that's why I like the truck. He has a window unit in it. I kept thinking, does he live in his truck? Like, he has an air conditioner. Like, is he peeing and pooping in the truck? He definitely has a P-jug, right? - Oh, I would, yeah, I would think so. - Gary's laughing. He definitely has a P-jug. If you're listening, I will tell you guys, I have in my whole, I would say since I was 12 years old, I have pitched to my dad and my family the car bathroom. You listen, he probably has this in that truck. It's an invention where you can pee and poop in your car while you're driving. - See, I would think if you did that, you would have like, it'd be like a hose that you could, you know, and then you would have where it would flow through and then there would be an exit shooting at the bottom of the car. So that way you're just, you know, there's no, you know, it's hygienic in the car but maybe not on the highway. I had it where you're dropping it into a box under your car that you slide out at a gas station and it's inside a diaper, you seal it up, throw it in the garbage can, boom. Just like that. Larry the Cable Guy has that in my brain in this truck. This truck, anybody puts a window unit in their truck? That's kind of a power move. How's he getting power to that thing, by the way? We didn't think about that. Like, is there a generator? - I might be a generator in a bag. - Is he filling the generator up with gas, like, all the time? - One, another one of my favorite lines was, was this one for the football reference. I'm gonna take the Browns to the Super Bowl. - Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that was, I liked when he said, she was so ugly, she could trick or treat it on the telephone. (laughing) - And then we'll maybe talk about some of the other characters here, we had his partner that he was training, Amy Butler. - Best part of the movie, by the way. - And the fact that he called her, he the whole way through until the very end, which let her hair down, I was like, you're a woman? - But then he still caught her dude at the end. - Yeah, yeah. - He kept saying, hey dude, hey man, it's like-- - The only sad part was that they didn't close the movie out with her and Bruce Bruce getting together, 'cause they kind of flirted along the way. - Who did she end up with? - Well, that they didn't, really. - They did, you didn't see the light, did you stop it before the credits? - Well, the movie thing kind of cuts it off before the credits. - Oh, no, they did, in the credits, she was on a date with Bruce Bruce. - Okay, okay, good. - That's great, that was my heart. - You can sleep tonight, Roger, all you Larry, the cable guy fans. Roger is now, he's happy because his partner got with-- - Yeah, the two of them together would be like, Sesame Street is sponsored by the number 10. - Would a movie with Bruce Bruce and his partner have been more funny than this movie? - Oh, definitely so. - You think so? - Oh, they should have did an off thing with just his soul food restaurant, you know, and the things that would happen there, you know, I think that would have been really good. - Well, let's talk about how he meets his future girlfriend. She is, when I was watching, I was like, he must know her, right? Like, she is putting the panties and bra on a mannequin, and he's telling her to lower the strap on the mannequin. Now, if you were a woman listening to this, and you were at a department store, and a dude was telling you to lower the strap on the unmentionables of a mannequin, is that a green light for success with this guy? (laughs) A dude that looks like he hasn't showered in five days, by the way. "I'll do your wife's voice." - Brad, this is so disgusting. I can't believe you're watching this. - And he made some mannequin jokes too, which makes me think, does he have a girlfriend that's a mannequin? - I would not be surprised if there's one in the basement. - He definitely has a real doll in his house. It looks like a real woman. He definitely does. He is creepy. I would like to see what's in Larry the Cable Guy's basement. (laughing) - Oh, did you also know, I wrote this down, we kind of glossed over it. Did you see how he stepped on pizza, barefoot at the beginning too? - Yeah, very beginning. - Was that not disgusting? - Well, that first scene was one disgusting thing after another. - Oh my gosh, it was like they got together in a writer's room, and I imagine Larry talks, like this right here in the producer room. He's like, "I think I'm going to get her done." And they're like, "Oh, we love it, get her done, get her done." And I'm sure there's some nerdy dude that's like, "Get her done." And he's like, "No, no, it's get her done." So yeah, it's, yeah, I don't know. This is the first Larry the Cable Guy movie. I think I've watched without, I've watched one other one, and that's Delta Fars. But that had the other Redneck comedy do a Jeff Fox worthy. Jeff Fox worthy. This was only Larry. - Yeah. Yeah, the comedy tours were really good. And yeah, he was, this was purely a, one of those things where Hollywood has to do a certain amount of movie, they had a movie package. I think I even saw that in the notes that, but the other ones went straight to video. - Wait, Delta Fars didn't go to video. And Whitless Protection, they went to the theater. - Hold on. - We were, those are future movie tortures, by the way. - All right, so it said in March, 2005, Paramount Home Entertainment signed parallel entertainment pictures to a multi-year first look deal involving six straight to DVD programs involving the blue comedy, blue collar comedy tour, including the in the development, Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector, Paramount set the film for a March 31st theatrical release in December, 2005, before exchanging the release, changing the release to Lionsgate in February, 2006. - Well, they couldn't release this old video and never put it in the theater because - I wanna save a lot of money. - It's a Larry the Cable Guy movie. And at the end of the day, so Larry gets a date with this chick and her mom is disgusting, by the way. - Lisa Lampanelli. - She, I've never been a Lampanelli fan. - No, she's too disgusting. - She is disgusting. In this movie, she is highly disgusting. - Now, when I say disgusting, I don't wanna say that like-- - Oh, you're not ugly. - Yeah, not ugly. I'm not trying to, you know, be a male chauvinist here. I'm just saying, yeah, just her humor is severely dirty. But she's in every Larry the Cable Guy movie. - Yeah. - They, they, he must have signed a deal with the devil 'cause he has to have money. - She also does his roast. - She does? - That was an all-comedy century-- - I've never found her funny. - Yeah, she's, she's so over-the-top, it just makes it hard. - Now, let's talk about for a moment. Okay, I know I just interrupted a great conversation, but my name is Brad and you may be listening to me or any of the other talent we have on this network at HopeCast. We wanna thank you for listening, but also, we want you to like and subscribe to the show you're listening to. So, when you're done listening, go on the iTunes or the Spotify and leave a great review if you like it and follow the show on Instagram and any other platforms that it's on. I think we're on TikTok, so follow us on TikTok. But make sure you leave us a review. We love good reviews here at the HopeCast Network. Now, I guess I'll let you get back to your show. - I hate to interrupt what you're doing now, but something very important I need to let you know about. When you purchase serious coffee beans, we want you to try to enjoy each brew for two reasons. Number one, because you're a part of something bigger, making a positive impact around the world. And number two, 'cause we did not compromise on the quality of coffee, you're drinking some of the best coffee in the world, 100% of profits are donated to nonprofits that are fighting injustice facing humans around the world. Well, that's powerful. Generous is best known for especially coffee, but the heartbeat of generous is their hope to use for profit business for good. In 2024, generous is hoping to provide coffee to churches around the US to spread a message within congregations that churches care about people even down to the coffee they are serving and the people they enjoy. I apologize for that extremely long run-on sentence. If you have interest in hearing more about generous coffee, please reach out to their founder, Ben Higgins, at binhiggins@generismovement.com. Thank you and back to our scheduled podcast. The restaurant scenes where they're sick. So this movie ahead of its time, because nowadays, the way that they are getting people sick in this movie is date lines with husband and wives doing this to their wife and killing them. They're putting eye solution in food. Yeah. The head is, that's what people do to kill their spouses. Yeah. And I was like, oh, man, they're really, this is a dark movie, like they're sitting there squirting eye solution in and making these people sick. So you get all this vomit. I mean, this movie had more vomit than even we've done. My thing was, was why did some of the places just for it and the other ones had vomit? Was it like the scale when it went up each time? Like, you know-- They're up in the game? Yeah, like the criminals per grit, like they say, you know, like the guys who rob banks, they're like, he's getting worse with each criminal act he performs. Do you think the vomiting would be worse than the farting? I mean, it's always worse than farting. Yeah, farting, fart, you smell a fart and it's gone. Now, sharding would be a different story. Yeah, definitely no one's shart. Yeah, but he gets the, I love when the owner comes out and pours him at last. He doesn't think that that's a lot of one. But I guess she's hooking him up with our solution at that point, right? Yeah, of course. 'Cause he goes over to his girlfriend's house and I think Larry thinks he's gonna get some. I think he thinks he's gonna at least get some make out action, right? Yeah, yeah. And the next thing you know, he's about to crap himself. Yeah. So he goes to the bathroom and are they trying to recreate Dumb and Dumber here? Yeah, there's a little bit of that. Yeah, but not as funny. No. Why would your first go to be, I'm gonna use her mother's towels to wipe my butt. And where did he put the towel? And he leave it in there for her growth fall. He made a comment later about replacing her her mother's towels. So what do you do with him? I don't know. Did he flush him? I don't know. Or maybe he just stuffed him in his underwear? Yeah. I figure his underwear already has skin marks in it regardless. I mean, this has to be the grossest movie we watched to date, right? Yeah, it's. And we haven't even talked about Buster from Arrested Development yet. Oh god. Yeah. He's like an adult Buster. You know, bud, did you ever watch Arrested Development? Buster's the one in the wheelchair in this movie. Oh, okay. He's funny on Arrested Development. Okay. He is really, he's like a man child. He's like the dopiest. Yeah. He's a man child. Mother, mommy, but in this movie, he's in a wheelchair. And it is funny when they go to the bar. Hey, tries to get the beer. He's trying to get the beer. And he won't help. He literally tries to help him. He says, you think I can't do it because I'm disabled? It's something like that. So he's trying any spills at all. Yeah, it was pretty bad. That was one of the funniest scenes. Just watching him try to get the beer. He keeps reaching forward. Yeah. And stopping and waiting for Larry to get out of the way. And then it goes for reach forward again. It had its moments for sure. This movie had some funny moments. I'm looking at my notes to see what else was good in this. Yeah. The Larry Mobile. I love how he calls it the Larry Mobile. Have you, did y'all notice that? Like, Gary, I'm gonna ask you. Do you call your car your car, your car, the Gary Mobile? No. You should. No. I have the most simplistic car, like, it's a Honda Accord. Like, no, no, no. I don't name my car. Do people like, I've heard that? I think ladies name stuff. Yeah, Crystal calls her, my wife Crystal calls her car Pearl because of the color. It's like a gray Pearl color, they call it. So she calls it Pearl. My wife doesn't name anything of our, we have. My sister's named her, like, she's had a couple of cars. She names hers. I can't remember what all, but like, so that's a female thing. 'Cause I never named a car. Gary, you're a little different 'cause you have stuffed animals in your car, right? Why would you do that? Why? I'm just kidding. I have stuffed animals in his car. Why do people put stuffed animals? I'm just kidding. I got to apologize. I'm sorry for a second there. I thought, Brad, what's telling the truth? I sold it, right? He sold it. And I was like, why would you do that again? Why would you throw in the bus? So I had to apologize now for even thinking that you would have stuffed animals. He's got Beanie Babies in his back window. I was, I was, I was disappointed in Brad. Now I'm like, Roger, really? You believe that? Yeah. Roger believed it. It must have been my delivery. Did the listeners believe it though? Yeah. Well, I highly doubt it because of all three of us, producer Gary has the best following. People love producer Gary on here. And even though he has Beanie Babies in his back window, he is still a stand up guy. I do like when Larry says this line. I'd rather dip French fries in my grandma's bed sores. I'm like, just the visual of dipping a fry in a bed sore is bonkers. Yeah. Producer Gary is silently throwing up over there. Yeah, this was a movie that if you had a timid stomach, it was probably a hard watch, you know. Yeah. And I love when he says that's the C-section of the penile code. Let's see if the sizzler has enough wet wipes. There's so many dumb lines of this movie. What about Joey Pantelano? The creepy mayor. He is slummy in this movie, right? Yeah. He was in Memento, great movie. He's on Sopranos. And now he's in a Larry the Cable Guy movie. I would feel like my career hit rock bottom. If I had to be Dan Whitney's co-star. Yeah. It was a sad scene for all those who had to endure this. 100%. Like I kind of felt bad for Joey Pantels. I was like, what are you doing in this movie? I mean, like I said earlier, he said, "I'm so hungry I could eat the butthole out of a skunk." I just like saying it 'cause it doesn't make any sense. But I don't know. There's so much crapping in this movie. So much. - So would your Hollywood producer guy say, "I want barf, barf to the left, barf to the right. Farts, farts all over." - I just imagine Larry going in there going, okay, I wanna do a movie where I crap and I fart and I talk about skunks buttholes. And the producer guy's like, I like it, let's do it. We're gonna make you the two fairy when the rock turns us down. I mean, that's the, I think for a moment in time, Hollywood thought Dan Whitney was the future of Redneck movies. And he's not, he just doesn't appeal. - There were so many lines in this movie like that could not be done today. Like there were just so many things that just, it's like, no, that would not pass in Hollywood right now. - Lots of offensive lines. This is not a woke movie. - No. - If you don't want to see a woke movie, then you have to watch "Health Inspector." Did you think Biff Tannen was a bad guy in this movie? - Well, I'd seen this before way back in the day. So I kind of knew that what happened. So I was kind of expecting it. - I'd never seen this movie until the other day. And I thought, man, Biff is up to, he's about to say, you know, McFly, what's your, - What's your major malfunction, McFly? - Earth and McFly, I figured like he was a bad guy in this movie. - I did love the punching and the throat scene at the venue. - Oh, that was so good. I wanted him to, I think a very fitting in this movie would've been like if Biff had been throat punched, right? And then he pulled a gun out, shot Larry in the head. And then took his girlfriend. If you notice on this movie show, I'll always say shooting the head at the end. That's the, we should've done that with Rafael on a turtle podcast. We do it with Dan Whitney in the Larry the Cable Guy because he's obnoxious. Or at least throat punched his voice box. - The one thing that surprised me that was missing from this movie was a crotch shot. - Well, other than the neighbor guy who was great in his character. - Oh, David Kegner. - Yeah. - Or as I like to call him Todd Packer from the office. - Yeah. - 'Cause when he started-- - He played a mentally challenged gun, is he? - Yeah. - Right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - But he didn't like Larry. - 'Cause there's a question. Who was more mentally challenged? His character are Larry. - Mm. - I'm gonna go Larry. Who's more mentally challenged? Haru or Larry? - Haru. - That's our first podcast. - Haru. - Yeah. - You think Haru is more challenged? Larry can drive. Larry knows how to pick chicks up. He probably can out fart anyone. - Does that really elevate their intelligence though? - If they can out fart. - If they can do that. - It's a circus trick, right? - I think a man who can fart without shart is super control over his body. - Did he have a shart joke in this movie? - He probably did, and we missed it. - There's only so much. I did like the runtime of this movie, an hour and 28 minutes. That is the sweet spot of run times. - No, I was hoping for a 90 minute or 90 minute. - That's it. - Hour and 26 minutes, isn't that 90 minutes? - Oh, sorry. - I was thinking. - Roger, that's hilarious. - It's like I really needed this. - I was thinking you meant like, I was thinking a two hour, like, you know, a hundred two. - Oh, you were going, I said hour and 20 minutes. - Listeners, that was hilarious. I said, I like an hour and 26 runtime and Roger goes, no, I really want a 90 minute run. That's basically the same thing. Such a producer Gary Line. - He really needed this extra like four minutes to make it 90. - Yeah. You could have went and took a dump during this movie and not missed anything. - Yeah. - You would have come back and seen Dumpage on the, you know, his girlfriend's movie, she's a great Meghan Price. Now, I love her in, oh God, what's the show I love watching on TV? - Hold on, I pulled it up. - It's got David Putty in it from Seinfeld. And David Spade. - Rules of Engagement. - Rules of Engagement. She is great on Rules of Engagement. It's a great David Spade show. It is David Spade. Yeah, he's on there. - Yeah, yeah. - Great show, seen every episode. You can watch it on Amazon Prime. I don't understand. I think this was, was this before Rules of Engagement or Dear and Rules of Engagement? - Hold on, I'll tell you. - Seven to 13 was 2007 to 2013, so. - But she was also on a show before. - It was after. - The show she was on before was grounded for life. - Grounded for life, never watched it. - With the other comedian. Guy, or the guy who played on a ball in order. - Don't know. - Oh, I think a couple of shows. You'd recognize him. He was kind of a chunky, not chunky, kind of stocky guy who, you know, brown hair. She was also on a couple episodes of Drew Carey. We show, quantumly, saved by the bell, the new class. Yeah, she was all over the place. - Were you talking about Patrick Warburton? - Yeah, that's David Putty. For you, Seinfeld fans, that's David Putty. He was on Rules of Engagement. - And right now, she's had a recurring role in the ranch. Asking Kutcher's show. - Never watched it. - And Gabriel Glace's show on, I'd say they're on Netflix or Hulu or someplace. - But all we do know is in 2006, she hit rock bottom by having to, she died and went to Larry Heaven by being in this movie. She, she was like, I'm gonna be in a Larry the Cable. Do you think she went home? And she's like, listen guys, I got a movie I'm gonna be in. Starring Larry, the Cable guy. And you think, do you think her family turned and said, get her done. - Well, she, in real life, she's actually married to an emergency department doctor. So yeah, she's high class there. She's married to a doctor. - High class. Roger, do you have some reviews for us for this movie? - I do. - Guys, before we start, you know, before we get our reviews, we'd just let you know, Larry ends up with her and it's all happy. So anyway. - Yeah. So one of the first things that popped up was out of the 100 worst movies of all time. This was 85 on that list. So I thought that was, that was kind of a... Here's another one from Rotten Tomatoes, basically approval rating of 5% based on reviews from 39 critics, the website's consistent state, consistent states, an aggressively lowbrow vehicle for its titular start. This gross out comedy fails to get her done. On another one, it said it was generally unfavorable reviews and I mentioned the other one about being 85th on the 100 worst review films of all time between 2000 and 2009. - So. - But even though this movie is ranked 85th, they still gave him another shot at starring in a movie in Whitless Protection. - Well, they had that movie deal thing, so. - So they started to deal with the Satan, Larry, Larry the Satan, Larry the devil guy. They signed that with him. Let me, I got a few reviews I can read from Amazon. These are from normal people that I suppose have a functioning brain, I'm not. First off, the DVD to purchase the DVD on Amazon is $53.85 and that is my proof, Roger. I want you to see that, I'm not making this up. You list yours at home, $53. I would question if you had a brain, if you pay $53 for this movie on DVD. - I wouldn't pay $5 for a movie. - I wouldn't pay anything. So this is from Madam Marie, 2016. Get her done, not get her, it's get her, she says. This guy's a real hoot. Even the reserved well-mannered folks will get a kick out of this movie. I can't help but want more Larry the cable guy. When I'm done watching this movie, the movie is fine for kids. I don't know if I'd want my 10 year old watching this movie. I don't know about that. It's alright, she probably doesn't have a kid. You will give second thoughts to dining out when done watching this classic. I agree with that. Never draw Larry the cable guy. I did not receive this movie for free or a discounted price of this review. I wonder if she had a gun to her head when she was typing this. Did Dan Whitney come to her house and say, Madam Marie, you're gonna type this? And she had to put that at the bottom as a disclaimer. Three people found it helpful. I feel like you're not allowed to be called a madam if this is like the pinnacle of comedy. Yeah, if you watch Larry the cable guy. You can't be a madam, that's way too fancy. She could be a madam, but a different kind of madam. Nutmeg writes in 2009. Nutmeg. Unbelievably funny, this movie is so funny my family and I have watched it 17 times. Holy crap, 17 times. You can't expect it from a guy named Nutmeg. Yeah, Larry is a brilliant comedian and actor. Do you, is there anything brilliant about his acting? No, no. We own witless protection and that is even funnier. Okay, we're doing that movie soon, by the way. We can hardly breathe from laughing so hard. Oh my gosh, do they have oxygen in their house? Although he gets a little naughty. Oh my gosh, he's not hardcore. I can't stand real filthy comedy. I would consider this filthy in the gross aspect. Rosemary Colt wrote in 2017. I bought this for my uncle for Christmas, he loves it. It sounds like something you'd give your dirty uncle, like, I'll be honest. Janine Arnold wrote in 2009. This was ordered as a Christmas present for my nephew. Again, we seem to have that lawless podcast where people are buying stuff for their nephews. And while I was visiting for the holiday, we watched it together. We all enjoyed it and laughed a lot. Again, why wouldn't she had just bought him underwear, a t-shirt, socks, anything is better than buying your nephew? And yeah, Larry the cable guy health inspector is not on my list of top holiday movies to watch. It's not, I feel like I could have a health inspector come to my house and get more entertainment than watching health inspector with Larry the cable guy. Yeah, that's pretty. I feel, Roger, a movie torture or movie gold? Definitely movie torture. And there were times as I was watching this that I hollered into the air and said, Brad, why did you make me do this? So yeah, it was definitely movie torture. - Roger, I'm about to blow your mind. - No, you're not. I kind of expected this. - I didn't hate this movie. Producer Gary is rolling in that. I would, if producer Gary showed up in my house with a pizza and he said, let's watch health inspector. I would watch it again with him just to laugh. - You think we could eat while we watched this movie? - Probably not. - You would need to throw the pizza on the ground and stomp all over before you get to get into, you know, the theme of the movie there. - I'm saying, enjoyability of this movie. I did not fall asleep. Okay, I did those for a second. Just for a minute. Way better than Turtles. If we're comparing this-- - Yeah, I would say that. I would have to say that, yeah. - This is one of the best movies we've watched. - But can we point out, I mean, when you add CGI to a movie, it's kind of like hit or miss on that. - What CGI are you talking about? - I thought that's, I thought the Turtles were-- - There was no CGI in the Turtles. That's the problem. They couldn't use fake Turtles. But this is probably one of the best movies we watched. It's a hundred times better than Turtles. It's own part with bench warmers. - Oh, bench warmers is much better than this one. I'm sorry. - We will agree to disagree. - We would not put Larry the Cable Guy in the Justice League of Comedians. - No, he would probably be like one of the, evil villains, or he would be a character. So, I mean, I think he's got his place in comedy. - Okay, we'll quick before we wrap this up. Justice League of Superhero Comedian Movies. You can pick five as the Justice League, Eddie Murphy, right? - Definitely. - Kevin Hart. Would you go Kevin Hart? - Yeah, I guess so. - Jim Carrey? - The early Jim Carrey. - Early Jim Carrey. Steve Martin, right? He's got to be like... - I was never a big Steve Martin fan. - Really? - No, the movie The Jerk for me just kind of like... - Like The Jerk. - I just didn't find it funny. - Chris Rock? - Yeah. - Well... - I don't think. Are we talking movies? - If we're talking stand up comedians, yes. - No, we're talking movie comedy actors. - No, I would think no, Chris Rock. Richard Pryor had better movies than... - Richard Pryor would definitely be in this one. - Yeah. - Rob Williams. - Oh, Rob Williams. - Oh, yeah. - 100% right? - 100% Robin Williams has to be. - Why would we forget about him out? 'Cause there's no one around him. - What about John Belushi? - Yeah, I mean, he did, you know, Animal House and Blues Brothers. Yeah. - Dan Aykroyd. - Yeah. - Cherry Chase. - What about Adam Sandler? - I think a lot of these are like, you have to like it. Like, I mean, I don't know. I feel like if you like one Adam Sandler movie, you probably like most of the Adam Sandler movies. - I would say the villain in this movie would have to be Bill Cosby, right? He's like, he's like the ultimate villain, comedian actor. He's quailuding people in the city and the rest of the Justice League of comedians are trying to figure out who the bad guy is. - I feel like this movie got canceled just from having Bill Cosby in it. - Yeah, what? - Well, if Bill Cosby would have been in it, what his restaurant would give away, like free pudding pops at the end. - Oh my gosh. I used to love, here's the thing, man. I used to love Bill Cosby. Like, I love the Cosby show, I love TikTok page. - Bill Cosby himself. - Bill Cosby himself was one of the greatest standup acts in like in a movie form ever made. - But I refuse to praise him now. Like, he's disgusting to me now. - Yeah. - And we do not condone him here at movie torture. - No, no, no. - We are not quailuding. Although, a quailude might have been more fun than watching "Help Inspector." - Hey, I don't know, I think it's fascinating. Again, if you're listening to movie torture, slide in our DMs, tell us who you think would be on the Justice League of Comedians in a movie. That'd be an interesting movie. - Oh, definitely. - That's a made up movie one day we can talk about. - There we go. - Who will we cast? So, don't forget, follow us on Instagram, movie torture pod, email us, movietortrapod@gmail.com. - What we doing next time? - Oh, next time, guys. The Iceman cometh, we are watching Batman and Robin. Yes, from 1997, we're gonna watch the masterpiece. I can't even say that with a straight faith. - We've got our buddy, Greg, coming in to help us with-- - Special guest time, guys. - The analysis of the movie. - He is a Batman and Robin superfan. - Oh, really? - He has, he actually has the mask from Batman and Robin, in his man cave. - Ask him to wear it. - And he, I love how both of you guys believed. I mean, he's not a fan of Batman and Robin. But I had you going, did I have the listeners going? Maybe, maybe not. But we're gonna be talking about the 1997 masterpiece starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Batman and Robin. For producer Gary, Roger, my name is Brad. We'll see you next week. (upbeat music) (whistling) (upbeat music) (whistling music) (upbeat music)
