Mojo In The Morning
Shannon's Son Told Her She Had Shaggy Skin
This is the Mojo in the Morning podcast, powered by Michigan Auto Law. AutoO accident attorneys. Visit autolaw.com. That's autolaw.com. Shannon, your youngest son, is sometimes very blunt with you, isn't it? Sometimes. [laughter] All the time. Which, by the way, today's his birthday. Birthday? Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. No, today's Smith's birthday. I don't know if he's awake yet. I'll have to call in here in a second, but he's seven. My baby. My baby. Is that it? Yeah. And he is truly the happiest, sweetest little boy in the whole entire world. But he, like Mojo said, just has no filter, which I love about him sometimes. So whenever he gets home from school, he'll always sit on my kitchen counter and have a snack, and we'll just catch up on the day or whatever, and he always loves giving me a big hug and hustling his little head in my neck. So, we're doing that, and we're eye level at that point. He's sitting on the counter, and so yesterday he looks at me, and he kind of gave me a weird face, and I thought, "Oh God, what is going to come out of this child's mouth?" He grabbed the skin right here, like along the sides of my jaw, and he goes, "Mom, you have really saggy skin now." Oh my God. I was like, "Oh no, you didn't." Because I am very self-conscious about it. I feel like I turned 40, and all of a sudden the skin on my face was wet like that. Gravity. Gravity, really kicked in, and he just pointed it out. It was not a big deal, and he was like, "Oh man, it's really saggy." Thanks, bud. Did it make you tall and make an appointment to get something done? Honestly. Well, I think that a facelift is about the only thing that would help me there, but... I don't see you. Yeah. Listen, I'm being so honest right now, because I would type like, "Shanny, you're..." That's because I'm stretching my neck out like this, so that you can't, because I know you don't just look over here as I was telling you. Yeah, I'm staring at your jawline like never before. But it's this. Maybe it was... This right here. He's right. He's not wrong. It's the kitchen light. It's the kitchen light. Right. Yeah, maybe it was how you were sitting. Good, you're good, you're good, you're good, you're good. Yeah. So, let's try. Yeah. [laughter] Oh, is it... No birthday presents for you tomorrow. Kids are honest. Kids are very honest. But what is the most honest thing that your kid ever said to you or a kid ever said to you? Doug, I can tell you this off the bat. The first thing that came to my mind, I feel like I'm fat now. I was fatter maybe like a couple years ago or something like that. I remember Josiah sitting on the bed, having my shirt off. He was pointing at my man's titties and was like, "Those are the eyes. That is the mouth. Look at that stomach. It was like, "Daddy, yes, this is my weak face." [laughter] Oh, it's crushed. [laughter] I just pulled my hand out and walked through it. That's right. And the thing is, even though in your head you're like, "He's a child. He's a kid. Eat. Sit with you." No, you can still punch your kids. That's what you were. You can absolutely. And then you should just haul off and punch them right in the nose. The whole day, there I am in the mirror going, but if I could just go like this, it would be better. It'd be like, "I didn't see that coming. Hey, now who's got a saggy face, huh?" What, my kid? Do you want to get facelifts at the same time? Yes! Oh, my God. I really want to get all of my classic surgeries and just be in recovery. Yeah, I would do it in a second. And do you want to know what's helping the other day, and you guys know this when Wes and I are out, we just talk, get into these random discussions. And so I asked him, "If there was one thing you could change about my appearance, what would it be?" And he didn't even do the, "You're beautiful. I wouldn't change a thing." He goes, "Well, you could probably do something about your nose." I'm like, "Oh, my God." So last night, I was like, "Well, maybe I'll go and fix my nose." Wait, hold on. Let's not hold the saggy cheeks thing because he's still a kid. Let's go to that. Should be the topic. What? With your nose. By the way, that's not very -- That's not very newlywedy. It's just pretty tweaked a little bit. Oh, you mother effed her. Just take a little off the top. By the time that you get done with your son, and now with your husband, you're going to be looking like Joan Rivers or your face is going to be blasted. Michael Jackson. Do you ever wonder if it's too late to get this variginal? No, I think about it. Hey, Hannah, what's going on? How are ya? Good morning, guys. Good morning. So, I have three kids, and my daughter -- every time I'm getting ready in Shannon, Megan, you guys will all be putting on my mascara, like leaning over in the mirror. Yeah. And my daughter will just poke at my stomach, like, "Why is it so jiggly?" Oh, you. You. You. Every part of my body. Yeah. That's good. And I'm like, "That is so mean." And they poke and grab, and I'm like, "What are you doing?" Why do we have children? Like seriously? I don't know. What's going on? What's going on? It's Mojo in the morning. We're talking about it at 844-Mojo Live, the honesty of kids, and what is it that a kid said to you? So, my daughters, too, and I'm pregnant with our second child, and I was getting dressed, and I was sitting on the bed. I didn't have a bra on, and she looked at me, and she said, "Oh, no, Mommy, your boobies are falling." Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I chick-a-lulu. I chick-a-lulu. Yeah. So. Love that. By the way, is that kid in the car with you, if so, drop him off on the side of the road and say, "Get to wherever you got to go to." What's going on, Lisa? When my son had just had a bath, and he was sitting on my lap, and I was in my pajamas, and he looked at me, and he said, "Mommy, what are those things?" And I said, "What things?" He said, "Those things on your stomach." He was talking about my breath. Oh, my God. There's a little humbling there. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Alicia, what's going on? It's Mojo in the morning. How are ya? Good morning, Mojo. What's happening? What is it? Was it your kid saying something to you? Oh, yeah. What's sitting there? She's getting ready for school, and I'm getting around, and she looks over at me, and she says, "Mom, I didn't know you had a mustache." Oh, man. I said, "What the hell?" I said, "Get him at me for school." That's awesome. She woke up and throws face. What's up, Jen? Hi. Hey. Good morning. Good morning. What's going on? Well, my seven-year-old came up to me, it was probably about a month ago, came up to me, and put his hand under my chin, and he tapped the bottom of my neck, and I said, "What are you doing?" He's like, "Mom, you've got like a frog neck." Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's that. Oh, my God. There's that. Wow. There's that. There's that. Do you want to come with Megan? Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm on our trip. I'm going to pick this for myself. I know what. I have a frog neck. What's up, Zuzin? How you doing? Good. How you doing? Good. We're talking about the crazy things that kids will say to you. Oh, for sure. Out of the moments of babes, right? Yes. So, yeah. So, I have two kids, and I had just had my second one, so my four-year-old. And, of course, I was sitting in the bathroom, and you're all in your glory. And, at that time, I was quiet, and my little boy walked in, and he was like, "Mommy, why do you have two stomachs?" [laughter] Oh, my God. Because of you. Because of you, exactly. By the way, that is the greatest answer that any mother could give to their kids. It's all because of those damn kids. It's all because of you. That's good. By the way, all of these stomachs anymore, just for you. Good for you. But, listen, all of these are your kids telling it to you. Imagine Kim, who's a principal, and you've got a lot of kids that say some things. What's going on, Kim? Hi. Good morning. Good morning. What's going on? So, I'm a principal, and one of our kindergartners kept touching the women with larger breasts. It's kind of patting them, and then redirecting him. Finally, they said, "Why do you keep doing this?" And he said, "Well, my mommy doesn't have these." [laughter] What's his name, Smith? [laughter] Hold on. His head voice sounds familiar? [laughter] Is that you, Kim? Dana, what's going on? Hi. Hey. So, my son is two, and I went to give him a shower, and he decided to point at my manhood, and said, "Daddy, you pooped. I'm talking about my balls." [laughter] Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I almost want to see a picture. Yeah. It's like I'm trying to visualize them at the same time. Yeah. I got to see them again. Poop? Okay. All right.