Mojo In The Morning
5 Lies to Tell Your Mom
This is the Mojo in the Morning podcast, powered by Michigan Auto Law, Auto accident attorneys. Visit autolaw.com. That's autolaw.com. It's Mojo in the morning. Sweet. Five lives to tell your mom. Ashley. Hello. Five lives to tell your mom. Guys going on a cruise together, huh? Yes, we are. Man, where are you guys cruising? What part of the world? It's either the Eastern or Western Caribbean. So we're going to like the Bahamas and Grand Turk. So it'll be fun. I like it. Is family vacation? Yep. So we're going with my dad and my fiance as well for my mom's birthday. All right. We're going to make mom feel like this vacation may not happen. And there might be some issues. Okay. Five lives to tell your mom. Line number one, you're going to say mom. I just got an email from the cruise line. Line number two. Say the air conditioning stopped working again. Line number three. We can still go on for the stationary cruise though. Line number four, the boat won't leave the dock. And line number. By the way, this is the bobble boat. And line number five. Say they'll make the boat feel like it's moving when it's not. Oh, this is fun. This is like a ride at Disney or something here. We're going to call mom and have some fun with her for five lives. Okay. Oh, I just got an email from the cruise. What? It says that the air stops working again. Are you kidding me? Yeah. And I guess the boat's not going to leave the port now. And what do we do? Well, they're offering to do like a stationary cruise, I guess, where the boat is still on the dock so that it can be connected to generators so that the air works. Yeah. But I guess that they make it feel like you're like still on the cruise. Like they have wind going to make it seem like you're like sailing. And I guess they blow like sun through so that you think that you're like in the Turks and Caicos still. Or they put us any money back? I don't know. They didn't say anything about money. I mean, do you still want to go on it if the boat doesn't move? Well, my airfare and another is refundable. I mean, I guess they can still use the drink package on it. I call f***ing. All right. Are you? Is this actually a f***ing? Yes. It might not be bad if they, you know, make it still feel like you're moving. I can't f***ing believe this. Yeah, I don't know. The fort again in my life. Yeah. I mean, do you think that I'm making this up? A stationary cruise, really? One that doesn't move, but they hit blow fans and make it smell like you're in the Turks and Caicos? I just put on that group. Has anyone received an email? Some f***ing thing. The ship has no air and will be stationary. Yeah, maybe somebody will write that to you on there. All right. I'll call them. Bye. Sorry. Bye. Bye. Let's call her back real quick. Before she calls. Hold on. That's it. Hello. Vicki. Yeah? Hi. I just called your daughter on the other line. How you doing? Good. This is Bob, I'm from cruise lines. Yeah. Yeah, your daughter had called to talk about your guys' cruise. You're pending cruise that you're going on? Right. We're having an issue with the ship. Some issues with keeping the air on while the boat is sailing. Is this a joke? No, it's not. I know this is tough. You guys are planning a family vacation and this happens. We're willing to give you a refund. We can't refund, obviously, your airline tickets. That's on you. Yeah. And my scooter and my drink package. Yeah. But with the drink package, we'll be able to double your drink package. We'll give you the premium alcohols. I cannot believe this. What are you celebrating? My birthday. Oh. Happy birthday. Yeah, if you don't mind me asking, what do we celebrate? What number? 60. Oh, 60th birthday. Sitting at port would be a lot better than hanging out in Lincoln Park, Michigan. I've been there before. Oh, I can't believe this. Yeah. We'll still do all the normal stuff, too. You know, Conga lines and play the escape pina colada song. But I mean, this has been going on for a while. I belong to the Facebook group. How come it can't be sex? Well, you know what? There's some issues with it. It's been hot. It's been a hot summer. I don't know if you've noticed this. There's a little bit of global warming going on right now. Mm-hmm. How about we give you a little extra spin through the buffet line at midnight? They have those late night buffets. No. Listen, nobody goes on a cruise to actually see what the islands look like. They go on the cruise to drink their faces and eat their faces off. I don't know. What are other people doing? I don't know. Let me. You know what? Let me. I got some people on the phone line here. I'm going to conference a couple of people in. Okay. This. Hi. Nice lady Shannon here. Shannon. You're going on the cruise. You agreed to go. I've got on the phone with us Vicki and Ashley from Southgate and Lincoln Park, Michigan. Oh, hello. Will you tell them how excited you are to go on this cruise? Yeah, actually, I'm really excited. I don't know how to swim anyway. So this makes me feel a lot more comfortable and I'm going to make the best of it. Fantastic. Yeah. See what I mean Vicki? I know, but I'm not going to be eaten at midnight. You know, one of the reasons why I'm going on the cruise is to go to the other port. I mean, I think they have fun and they're on the cruise ship. Oh, we'll have fun Vicki. You can come to my room instead of going to the other ports. Why? You can scoot on over to my room instead of going to the other ports. Oh, I don't think these guys even realize Vicki and Ashley you don't understand. This is the swingers cruise. Right. You're poor mom. Not really. Not real. Let's call her. How do we end up there? Your mom reminds me of Aunt Pat. Aunt Pat! No whole time. This woman won't even be happy in Turks and Caigos. You know that on this cruise, your mom's going to still be miserable because she's going to still be upset. Hello? Hello. Vicki. This is the joke. Vicki. I didn't sign up for no swinger crew and I've already asked other people. They get that heard of this. I'm calling right now. What did you do? Did you text them and say? Did you hear about the swingers cruise? No. I mean, it's not funny. I don't know who you are. Vicki, we're here to wish you an early happy 60th birthday from your daughter, Ashley. This is the Mojo in the morning show. Oh my God. You know what? Mojo? I cannot see dead meat. Vicki. No, I didn't get a heart attack. I'm crying. Vicki, you are not crying. Yes I am. Oh, Vicki. Oh my God. Ashley, you asked. I could make us do this. Now I didn't help you people on Facebook as a joke. I think they're going to be very happy to find out that the cruise isn't going to be stationary and full of swingers. I was thinking, I bought my clothes in a pineapple shirt. You know what? The only thing that's going to be swinging is my fits on Ashley. Vicki, happy early birthday. Thank you, Mojo. Can everybody? Oh, you're welcome. Yes. Listen, you're going to have fun on this cruise and the air is going to work. Well, at least we think. I don't know. Now I got to explain all these people on Facebook. Oh, my God. All right. Vicki, we're going to give you a prize for being on Five Lies to Tell Your Mom. Good. Thank you. It's Mojo in the morning. Five, five. Sweet. Five Lies to Tell Your Mom. You slept through your alarm. Missed the train. And your breakfast sandwich. Ugh. Cool. Sounds like you could use some luck. I'm Victoria Cash, and Lucky Land is where people go every day to get lucky. At Lucky Land, you can play over 100 casino-style games for free for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Go to LuckyLandslots.com and get lucky today. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. We're prohibited by law. 18-plus terms and conditions apply. apply.