Mojo In The Morning
Am I The A**Hole?
this is the mojo in the morning podcast powered by michigan auto law auto accident attorneys visit auto law dot com auto law dot com budget of the morning show uh... we do am i the a-hole if you have something that you want to bring up on am i the a-hole uh... maybe you're doing something that you're kind of worried that might be kind of uh... a holy type thing or maybe your friends have told you what you're doing is not so good and you think that what you're doing is completely right and you want to be able to get some people in your corner uh... you can text us text a-hole tonight five five zero zero and you can be on the uh... the show with us uh... will give you fair judgment on this one i think we're good about it carly is on with us it's an alias by the way voices guys because of something that she's doing that she's worried people are going to look differently at her for doing carly high carly you're married woman and i understand from talking to uh... our producers that you're going through a little bit of stuff with your uh... your spouse right now yet so uh... we've been married about five years and uh... a little less than two years ago i caught him cheating and it was a really hard time for us uh... but he did agree to go to therapy which has been going well and improved and part of his you know therapy is and part of his recovery is that you have to keep it well really help myself recently and um... and i ended up uh... i ended up reading a little bit of his journal and i saw a passage about talking about cheating on me again you know that the first incident or what i think is the first incident that started this whole recovery journey and want to know if i'm the a-hole or i mean betraying that trust and did i cross a line and i am i able to read his journal uh... i mean i think that i think that once you find out that you're being cheated on it's going to be tough to gain trust back in somebody after that and so i could see that you are probably wondering how things are going but i think that after she read the journal you ruin the relationship no matter what you found in it because you destroyed all all trust that was left after what you had rebuilt so does it work in your almost favorite that's a weird choice of words i understand but almost work in your favor that you found out that there was proof of cheating or admission of cheating so it kind of justified what you did yes but i think you you broke the trust first i i oh god that's a hard one i know i don't know if we take out that you so he so he has cheated again since he first disclosed to you that that he did or he's alluding to that in the journal i feel like we have to take that out of it for a second because you reading the journal to me is i hate saying yes you're an a-hole because this is such a sensitive situation i think that you know he he in going to therapy and trying to redeem himself and and work on himself you know and put in that work and this being an assignment that the therapist gave him to kind of work through some of the things that he's thinking and feeling and i'm assuming then he talks to the therapist about whatever he's writing but i feel like i talked to my therapist about stuff that i would not want anybody else to know until i have processed it with her and then i'm like ready to put it out to be open with that person he doesn't hide his his journal i mean i'm gonna say this yes you go searching for it now it was it was left out and it has been left out and i feel like there is something like i'm i'm sensing almost like a change that is not been addressed you know because i feel like you would come back from his therapy appointment and and and he talked to me more openly about what he discussed what because he was able to process it though and that's my point like you you opening up that journal is like you having a spy camera in his therapy sessions it's wrong but here's the thing that's really really wrong because he hasn't been able to work through it yet and that's why he's putting his raw thoughts there janet if he's leaving it out you don't and he's writing in there that he's cheating still on his wife you don't think that he wants to be caught i don't know i'm just i mean i'm kind of breaking it down to like the very bare basic like hold on we're gonna we're gonna grab a couple calls we'll see what people say about this ayesha yeah um i feel like she's definitely the a-hole and i mean she kind of knows that too you're disguising your voice but my thing is also like you know that was his place to be able to be open and honest and the fact that he's already going to therapy for the cheating national and that he's making steps to try to change his actions and my thing is change doesn't happen overnight and that's for anything that anybody ever does in this world so i think it's not like he come to you and be like hey you know i'm thinking about cheating again that wouldn't go over right but you're so um thinking about yourself and your own selfish aspects you need to be worried about why you haven't worked on your trust as well that trust is processed too so it sucks that you've been fired out a certain way but from this point moving forward if you don't leave i mean what was the point i'm going to therapy what's the point of any of it honestly so she doesn't check it if she doesn't check it then the cheating just continues right and then it's not any better than it was before but then the blame's on him not her but then right now i think the blame's on both but wouldn't you want to know is he actively cheating if he actively cheating or he was talking about possibly doing it again because that's the i'm confused let me ask that question so is he still actively cheating did he say in the the journal i mean i i didn't continue to read you know the journal to see if it was an ongoing thing i just saw a passage of a clear incidence of adultery that he has committed that he's partaking in sense you know the initial thing that put him in the therapy okay i didn't keep reading to see if it was an ongoing thing i just thought that you you had control to not keep reading it i would have read cover to cover though it'd been the only book i've ever read in my life but also if you don't read it from cover to cover how do you know the context of it like what if he was talking about the situation way back when what if it was a aspiration what if like i i this is weird he definitely was talking about being another with another woman in the current you know talking about it in present and you know uh and at the date entry was long past when he started therapy so this is not something that he brought up i don't know if this is what that change and his openness and talking to me about his recovery has been you know because he's kind of it's just keeping more stuff to himself nowadays it's kind of yeah we're crafting or what um let me grab a person that says you're not an a-hole because i want to hear their reasoning behind this because i feel like you know it's thinking that you're not an a-hole i'm wondering if i'm just sympathetic to the fact that i feel bad that you got cheated on them before Daisy why why he has he cheated first so he's the one that caused for the the fact that you can lie just like yeah just like if it was to be a girl they get her boyfriend shooting and she went through his phone a journal's the same thing you could have text messages you could have all your emails any thoughts you could put in your phone to other people just the journal what to see i disagree i i wouldn't i wouldn't put those on the same playing field i wouldn't say a journal is the same thing as a phone because my answer with the phone is you have every right to snoop do that phone the journal is is him working through this with a therapist privately and but what if you went through his phone and that's where he put his notes and did you happen to pond it oh god darn it's i'm just asking that question um sandra what do you think um i think that if he is to cheat at first and then to continue to say that you're going to therapy to work on yourself but then you're continuing to cheat while you're in therapy you're not really getting help if you're continuing to lie and then that's what i'm thinking that the first caller that i picked up that was like he's working on himself listen if you're still cheating you're not working on yourself absolutely you are not no no no no no no i'm agreeing with you oh okay okay thank you literally not i can going absolutely and you go no oh i i thought you were saying absolutely you're working on yourself that's what i was thinking you're saying no no no but that's what i'm saying there's like two different stories here like it's two different layers to the story chana don't you think they're both in the wrong i feel like people are are hearing me say a hundred percent people are hearing me say she's in the wrong and going but he's cheating no no they're both in the wrong yes lisa hey am i the a-hole this is the wrong episode now you know i think it's the wrong episode i think this should be make up or break up and this is just break up there's no trust on either side or maybe it's war the roses or what do you think about that lisa maybe it's war the roses maybe that's one six honestly i just no trust on either side i think that that's the case i mean i really do think you want to fully see if this guy's right with you therapy aside let's see what he's all about with war the roses christina thoughts on this yes there was already trust issues there you don't leave something as sacred as a journal where you put your deepest darkest secrets you don't leave it out in the open and then not expect your wife who already has trust issues to not read it exactly that's what that's honestly the thought that i had he wants to be caught liz am i the a-hole uh do you believe that carly's an a-hole i think she has the a-hole i'm not just kidding what did i do i like the good ball though wait i just jumped out of my seat why am i the a-hole because you're saying that only she sucks and i think the answer is yes you didn't hear what megan and i just said dickhead a-hole liz sorry everybody sucks here is what i mean to say because he sucks because he broke the trust first by cheating on her yes she sucks because she went and snooped on his journal and then you know can i just said i know i know i know i know i know i was giving a hard time i was giving a hard time all jumpy i jumped at megan you're jumping at shannon i'm sorry we're very jumpy on this one this one makes me feel really uncomfortable only because it it scares me to see that this guy is allegedly getting therapeutic help but yet he's still doing what he's getting therapeutic help for and i understand that that happens a lot you know in relationships where you got to work things through and it takes sometimes your ugliness to come out in therapy to eventually get better but the fact that he's still out there cheating and he's doing that to this wife i don't know two little curveballs first of all is you know it's he possibly um exposing her to an spd you know sometimes people unfortunately do that but also what if it's a trap like what is he you know whoa whoa like he decided to say he's cheating to see if he's newbie let's ask that question carly what if he's trapping you i mean i i have i have no i i don't even know i can't imagine that he would but also i couldn't imagine that he would you know say that he's doing all this work and what seems like he really is putting in the work and then is he smart enough to to come up with a plan like this i mean he's smart i don't know if you know i would think it would have to be a major motivation behind it and he's there that's because you know he thinks that i'm can't be trusted or maybe he's talking about you know something that i did that caused him to cheat the first time all i know is that i'm in the dark and i did not anticipate finding out like this i'm not usually i've never even gone through his phone ever and we've been married for five years you know this is yeah everything is out of character i'm not saying that it's not a possibility that he's trying to trap me in something but i mean that's another reason why i'm calling you is i can't go to a doctor and say hey i read his journal this is happening right right right i you know and they can't disclose anything i have to wrap this up right now but i want to wrap it up with this would you think about doing war the roses with us i mean if it if it will get to the bottom of it yeah i will i mean everything aside would you think about unvoiced disguising yourself and calling them up to see where it sent a dozen free roses and we go from there think about it talk to us you know when you're not on the air and you feel like a hundred percent and then maybe we come back and and try that in like the next couple of days okay okay i'd have to not i wouldn't have my voice disguise well yeah you would have to have your voice on disguise because he would have to be able to know who the heck it was that was calling him so you got to think about that and will give you an opportunity to talk with our producers off the air about it hey everyone it is ryan c crest here ready to heat up your summer vacation get ready things are about to get sizzling at chumba casino your summer getting a whole lot hotter with a special daily login bonus waiting just for you so sign up now for reals of fun and reals of prizes right here at chumba casino with yours truly join me at chumba casino dot com and dive into a summer of social casino fun sponsored by chumba casino no purchase necessary vgw group void we're prohibited by law 18 plus terms and conditions apply