Mojo In The Morning
He Used His Son's Socks to Wipe!
This is the Mojo in the Morning podcast, powered by Michigan Auto Law, auto accident attorneys. Visit autolaw.com. That's autolaw.com. Go to the morning show. So, one of my really, really good friends is a stay at home dad and he runs a little, you know, runs a very good business, a big business, but does it out of his house. But he's with the kids all day. And he actually homeschools the kids too. Wow. So, it's unbelievable. Like what he does. And here's the wildest part of this whole thing. He's got all of his hair. He's not gray. And he hasn't lost his mind yet. I can't understand it, Mike. What is his secret? I don't know what his secret is. But he did have something happen to him the other day that hold on. I want to call him up because I want to ask him about this. And I haven't tell you guys this story. The question I'm going to ask the listeners is what did you do when you went to a public restroom and they did not have toilet paper and you didn't realize it until it was too late. Will? Hi. How you doing, buddy? Good. How are you? Good. So, Will, I was just describing you and the fact that you have complete sanity yet you are home with the kids, homeschooling them, and also dealing with the trying to keep the house together. And then also it was your wife, Jessica's birthday the other day, right? Is it okay for us to say what you ended up going and getting at the store? Because she will. Will she know to the surprise? Already. I'm bad at keeping surprises. So, I gave that surprise out yesterday on the way to her birthday dinner with our office. Okay. All right. So, here's the interesting thing. He went to party city. Okay. Anybody that's ever been to a party city. Do they have party cities in West Michigan and in Toledo? Yeah, of course. All right. Anybody's ever been there post-COVID knows this. Simply just to go get some balloons is a task these days unless you pre-order them like months ahead of time or something. Right? It's always like craziness trying to get those things. But it happened to you well that you went in there to go get your balloons for Jessica and then you started getting the bubble gut. So, anybody knows if you've been getting to party city and you walk in the door, they always say, "Welcome to the party." Well, there's never anybody there and it's never a party, but I'm pretty sure it made it a party. You had to go use the bathroom at a party city. Where is the bathrooms at party city? Like the back corner or something? Actually, that's exactly where it's at. In the back corner of the building on the one on Orchard Lake Road and you have to try to find it. So, we're there to pick up a couple of the two big gold 40 balloons and it hit me. And I'm like, "All right, kids." I'm like, "We got to go to the bathroom real quick." So, we're walking all the way to the back. We were on the way to take Danny to his jujitsu class. This was on Monday. Big shout-out to Roots Come Back Club. There you go. World class facility. World class. All right. Okay. Play the minute. So, Danny's wearing cracks and socks. We walk all the way back there. I reach for the toilet paper. There is none. Oh no. Oh no. My worst fear. I wrecked their toilet. Okay. Kids are outside the bathroom because they're old enough. Danny just turns seven. He can watch his sister. They're right outside the door. I can hear him. And I'm thinking like, "What am I going to do?" I'm like, "Oh, it's jujitsu class with Coach Alex today." I go, "Danny, I go take off your, take off your cracks and take off your socks." I go, "Just put your cracks out." He's like, "Why?" Because you don't wear socks at jujitsu. It'll be easier. It's faster when we get there in a few minutes. He's like, "Okay. Take them off." I open the door real quick. Hands me the socks. It's toilet paper piece number one. It's toilet paper piece. Here's my question. Here's my question. Go ahead. What's your question? How'd you get from the toilet? The door. What was the stance? You know what? It's kind of like that squatty-potty product. I just brought it right over. Didn't open the door, but like one creep. Danny already had it. Socked off. Boom. Grabbed him. Shook the door. Less than 10 seconds. I threw the socks away. I didn't flush them. The room away. And we kept going. Wow. That's amazing. You know what? That's a dad right there. That's over there. No way. No way. So wait. Why could you not do this? You're in party city. Maybe your kids aren't old enough to do this. Definitely not old enough to do it. But my thought would have been, we're in party city. There's got to be like Spider-Man napkins or something. Not one of the counters. You know? That's a long jujitsu root combat club bear crawl. Yeah. How do you wipe with socks? Do you put your hand like up the sock like a puppet and then? Great question. I mean, Danny, seven, so you're kind of small. I just did the one finger. All right. We don't need to get into that all thing. Wait. When you left, Will, when you got done with this after using, you know, your son's socks, did you tell the people that say, Hey, welcome to the party behind the counter? Hey, we need to get some toilet paper in that place. No. Actually, I, I walked out and they said have a good day and I walked out and said, Have a great day with a crap eating grin on my face. Walked out. I mean, that was it. It was, I felt bad. I felt embarrassed, but not too bad. So I just, just kind of walked out. What if they were, wait, what if they were Danny's favorite socks? Would you have done that if they were Danny's favorite socks? Yeah, probably went on Amazon right there and ordered another pair of socks. If they were Hulk socks, I would not have done that, but I think they were like Thor or, or, or another superhero, but they weren't the Hulk socks. 100%. No, is that not the way? By the way, that's not a bad place to actually not have toilet paper because there's obviously access to go get it. There's a ton of other things. Yeah. What would you have done? Would you ever consider this? Would you ever consider pulling your pants up to a point where they weren't touching your Botox? No, you know, honestly, what I, what I probably would have done if I, especially if I didn't have anybody with me and I was by myself, right? Like you will. We're very resourceful and lucky to have your kids. I would have probably taken off my underwear and used to my underwear to wipe and then thrown away my underwear. Yeah, but what happens when you're wearing like the, the song you thought, like, like, like the, the thin second skin thong or whatever, I mean, at least it's something I don't know. Well, well, did you think about that? Like what if your son didn't have socks on? I would have found, I would have found some sort of paper products without having to go too far. I don't know what it would have been, but money. Yeah. I would have, yeah, just walked out, asked somebody for a dollar, I'll be right back. The worst is I had that same thing happen to me and I was getting ready to start a remote for the station years back. And I remember we were doing, we were doing a remote at a cell phone store and they let me use their bathroom that they have at a cell phone store, which is in the back area there. You pooped and all I remember was there was no toilet paper. So I picked up my phone called the cell phone store and I had to go through the national hotline of thank you for calling Verizon wireless, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like hit for the store locator. Hi. I'm in the toilet. The funny thing was when they finally brought me toilet paper and told me that there's, you know, here you go. You do the whole thing. They said, we were wondering how long you were going to be. They thought I was in there, you know, having a really, really bad time. Got it. Well, if this doesn't say happy birthday to my beautiful wife, Jessica under 40th. Oh, there you go. That's right. That your husband's a dirt bag. I don't know what. No, no, that's sweet. Then it's so sweet that you did that. All right, Will. We'll talk to you later, buddy. Have a great day and happy birthday to Jessica. Take care of yourself. Lucky Land Slots asking people, what's the weirdest place you've gotten lucky? Lucky? In line at the deli, I guess? Uh-huh. In my dentist's office. More than once, actually. Do I have to say? Yes, you do. In the car before my kids' PTA meeting. Really? Yes. Excuse me. What's the weirdest place you've gotten lucky? I never win and tell. Well, there you have it. 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