The BIGG Successs Show
How Dual Income Couples are Bucking Traditional Roles
A summary of studies shows how men and women are splitting their duties. Read our show summary at BIGGSUCCESS.COM.
Welcome to The Big Success Show! Today, we'll discuss how dual income couples are bucking traditional roles. The Big Success Show with George and Mary Lynn. The Council on Contemporary Families recently published a summary of previous studies, and Mary Lynn, I gotta tell you, there's so many studies on there I lost, I couldn't count them all. I ran out of fingers and toes. The studies of the studies. That's right, it's an amazing piece, and so we really highly recommend you check it out. But they've kind of culminated data over about 30 years. And we wanted to talk with you today about some of the highlights. Right, and we do have a link to this study on our site today at BigSuccess.com so you can check it out. But yes, we're going to hit some of the highlights here for you. Men's share of household duties doubled as a percent of the total over the last 40 years. Now that deserves a pat on the bat. I know. Well, they went from 15 percent to 30 percent, which, hey, I still think they've got a long way to go, but it way to go guys will take some advancement. Women's number of hours doing household duties has actually declined. Slackers. Hey, for younger couples, it's even better. Yeah, it is. And I guess, Mary Lynn, one of the things that they point out in this research is that it seemed like there was this expectation that the minute women started going to work, the things would just suddenly change. The whole world would turn upside down. Men would assume half the duties and that didn't happen. And so people were thinking that progress was stalled in all these doomsday scenarios, I guess, for lack of a better word. But what this shows is that over time, there is significant change and it's only a trend. They predict that this will just keep going. That women also have a lounge chair. That's right. And childcare has tripled by men. Probably they're doing three times the amount of childcare duties as they were during this period. Interestingly enough though, women's has also doubled over that same period. So if you think about it, that's saying that men and women couples are putting much more emphasis now on spending time with kids than couples were 30 years ago. When it says that doubled, I wondered if this was like a competitive thing. The guys who are spending more time with the kids, so the women are just like putting it up a notch. I've got it. Men are winning, at least in the increase, right? Well when it comes to spending time with kids and sharing duties at the house, this is especially true of dual income couples. Yeah, and I think that's probably not a surprise, but it's interesting to see how it kind of develops. Men are having to adapt because women are working more hours and so the longer a woman in the family has been working, the more responsibilities a man will take on. So she's fresh into the workforce, you know, he's still probably going to slack off a little bit, but the longer she's in, the more he does. So what you're saying is at some point, I'm going to get hungry enough to just actually cook myself a dinner. Yes. Is that what you're saying? It's called survival. I'll lean the house. Yes. Well and men interestingly enough, men are actually working less over this time period and spending more time on family duties, the opposite is true of women. Women are working more and spending less total time with the family responsibilities. And men share, and I think this makes complete sense, Maryland, men share is higher yet if the woman works more hours, if she earns more money, if she has more education. So in other words, if, you know, the woman is becoming the primary breadwinner, which has happened about, they said about one out of three cases now, the woman is the primary wage earner, and so men are picking up the slack then at home. Well, it's just, it's teamwork, right? Absolutely. Somebody's got to take care of this while somebody takes care of that. And coming up, the big payoff for dividing the roles. Today we've discussed some of the highlights of a study that shows 30 years of data and how men's roles and women's roles are changing. So what these studies show is that couples are redefining what it means to be the man or the woman in a relationship, what it means to be the father and the mother. And the big payoff to this, Maryland, and I thought this was really interesting, is that as the division of labor at home and with childcare becomes more equal, there's a lower divorce rate among couples, and it's even lower than when you have the traditional relationship with a breadwinner and a person who stays at home. Oh, you know, George, we both grew up in very traditional families and in both cases they stayed together. So having, having the separate roles didn't really affect the marriage. That's true. But we, on the other hand, have a very kind of non-traditional working relationship, I guess, or at home relationship, right? Exactly. And especially since you're the cook of the house. That's right. Now, how did that happen, Maryland? Because my mom was always in the kitchen, and I determined long ago that that would not be me. I remember she said to me, "Maryland, you're going to have to learn how to cook. What are you going to do when you grow up and you're out on your own? I said, "I'm going to meet a guy who knows how to cook and I'm going to marry him." Well, I guess that's me. That's you. Well, the point to all of this discussion is just simply that roles are getting redefined and you shouldn't listen to what other people say. If it works for you and your family and your spouse, it works. You can get a written summary of today's show on our site at BigSuccess.com. By the way, this week our newsletter subscribers have already received a great article about how to get more flexibility at work so you can have more time at home. And you can get that article by subscribing to our Big Success Weekly. Look for the subscription box in the upper right-hand corner of our site and hey, it's free. That's a good price. Next time, we'll unlock two proven keys to happiness. And this is coming from some scientific research on the happiest place on Earth. Alright, I'm feeling happier already. Until then, here's to your Big Success. [MUSIC]