The BIGG Successs Show
How to Crack a Crabby Co-Worker
Suggestions for working with someone who is difficult to work with. Read our show summary at biggsuccess.com.
Welcome to The Big Success Show. Today, you'll learn how to crack a Krabby co-worker. The Big Success Show with George and Mary Lynn. Melissa emailed us because she has a co-worker that she works with on projects regularly. This co-worker is condescending, never seems to be in a good mood, and is just downright unfriendly to everybody she works with. And Melissa's tried to kill her. What? She's tried to kill her with kindness. I know I can get you with that pause. I wouldn't say I don't blame her, but yeah. And the thing is, she's also tried taking an interest in her personally, all to no avail. So Melissa's big challenge to us. Is there anything else she can do to make dealing with this co-worker easier? Man, there's nothing like dealing with that Krabby co-worker with the hard exterior shell that you just can't crack. Oh, wait a minute. How long did it take you to come up with that one, Mary Lynn? Not very long. Well, good. I work with one. Now I'm just joking. But it does seem like every office has one of these. And Melissa, we're going to offer some suggestions today, but don't expect a miracle. And of course, understand that you can't change anybody but yourself. So sometimes you just have to accept that it's the way it's going to be and try to make the best of it. So Melissa, you said that you've tried to kill her with kindness. But that hasn't helped, even though George tried to turn that into something else. But, you know, it is strange that sometimes the nicer you are to people like this, the meaner they get. And they're like that bully that we all picture from our childhood days, right? And the thing is, just like that, you can't be afraid to stand up to the bully. And if you do, one of two things will happen. She'll either become more of a bully or she'll respect you for standing up for yourself because most people won't do that. Yeah, so Melissa, confront her directly. Yeah, you don't have to be in her face about it. When she says something, Kurt, just simply say, "Have I done something to offend you?" There's a good chance you'll catch her off-guard because, as you said, Mary Lynn, a lot of times, these types of people just aren't used to being called out for being rude. That's right. And when you ask her if you've done something to offend her, you can expect one of two responses. Well, you're on to this two responses thing, but they aren't you. What's up with this? I've been through this, all right? Can you count to three, Mary Lynn? All right, so first, she may say, "Yes, you have done something to offend me." But that gives you the opportunity to follow up with something like, "Well, I wasn't aware. What have I done?" Now, at least, you've opened the door to a conversation. She may get it off her chest, and then you might become one of the few people she treats well. Or, when you ask her if you did something to offend her, she may say something like, "No, why?" You know, she may still be curt, right? Which opens the door for you to say something like, "Well, by the tone of the voice that I heard, I felt like I must have upset you." In some cases, these people have behaved this way for so long and gotten away with it for so long that they don't even realize that they're doing it. It's just become normal to them. So by bringing this to her attention, she might change her attitude toward you. And no matter what, Melissa, as long as you're working with this person, be sincere on your end. Don't worry about her attitude. Just understand it's her problem, not yours. Coming up, instead of raising the bar, we're going to lower it to make dealing with your coworker a little easier. Today, we're answering the question from Melissa who has a big challenge of dealing with a Krabby coworker. And, you know, Mary Lynn, one of the best pieces of advice I think I ever heard was from one of my mentors a long time ago, he said he found out early in his career that he wasn't going to like everybody he worked with, but he worked really hard to not dislike anybody he worked with. So Melissa, lower the bar. Lower the bar, Mary Lynn. I hope we don't offer that advice too often. Hello, can you go? All right, but in this case, lowering the bar means you don't have to like her. If you can find ways not to dislike her, you can still work together. For example, maybe she's really good at what she does. You can respect her for that. The key thing, Melissa, is just don't take it personally, be yourself, and do your best to make the best of it. Thank you, Melissa, for sharing your big challenge, and if you have some tips for Melissa, share them with all of us at BigSuccess.com. And that's also where we have a written summary of today's show, and let's get our big quote for the day. Big quote today comes from a niacinin from the backstabbing coworker to the meddling sister-in-law. You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life, or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what's important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life. So don't fret too much about your Krabby coworker. Plenty of people will melt like butter from the warmth of your personality. Next time, with Mother's Day coming this weekend, we'll talk about mom's lasting legacy. And until then, here's to your Big Success. The Big Success Show at B-I-G-G Success.com. [MUSIC]