The BIGG Successs Show
How to Offer Criticism Without Being Critical
Today’s blog is about an important relationship-building tool. It’s important at work and home. It’s crucial for leaders and first-time managers. Read our show summary at biggsuccess.com.
Welcome to The Big Success Show. Today, we'll share how to offer criticism without being critical. The Big Success Show with George and Mary Lynn. Well, I hope you pay attention today. I don't think that's being very constructive. Oh, is that right? All right, we know today's topic is really for any of us who want to have a relationship with someone. And I would assume that's most of us, right? It's particularly good if you're wanting to advance in your career. And I would say specifically for those people who want to get in leadership or first-time managers. And I'll just say, this is probably one of the single best management tips I ever have received. That's right. Understanding when to use your active voice and when to use your passive voice. This may sound pretty simple, but it's amazing how many times we get it wrong. And today, we'll quickly review active and passive voice just to catch me up again, right, Mary Lynn? Yeah. And also, we'll offer some tips on how to use each one effectively. So let's start with the active voice. With the active voice, the subject of the sentence appears before the action. Stated more simply, the noun occurs before the verb. For example, you performed exceptionally well on this project. Thank you, Mary Lynn. You're welcome, George. With the passive voice, the action appears in the sentence before the subject. If the subject appears at all. In other words, the verb comes first, the noun comes later. So using your sentence, Mary Lynn, and twisting it to the passive voice, I would say, this project was done exceptionally well by you. And note that the first example is more direct and easier to follow than the second. It sounds better too, doesn't it? Well, I think so. Yeah. You know, when you try to say that sentence in the passive voice, it really sounds kind of strange. It's almost like it's not a compliment, but the passive does have its uses. For example, which of the following two statements would you rather hear? You performed below expectations on this project or expectations weren't met on this project. And with the first example, you perform below expectations on this project. It's in the act of voice. So the focus is on you, not the project. The second example does the opposite using the passive voice. It puts the focus on the project. The second example sounds better in this go round, doesn't it? Yeah, I think so. I mean, can you picture yourself getting defensive with that first sentence? Because well, it's a screams that you screwed up. That's right. So when you want to discuss anything negative, use your passive voice. You'll find that the conversation will be much more productive. The person you're talking to won't feel backed into a corner. I feel more like you're on their side. You're not fixing the blame. You're trying to fix the problem with their help. Coming up, when do you use your active voice? Today, we're talking about how to offer criticism without being critical. And we've already looked at the passive voice. Now we want to look at a good use for the active voice. And a good time to use that active voice is when you're offering praise. So let's go back to our original example. Wouldn't you feel great if your boss said you performed exceptionally well? Yes, I would. Well, can you imagine how your performance would improve? If your boss said that to you in front of all your coworkers, right? This is an amazing tool for managers to improve the morale of their troops. So when you want to tell someone that they did something great, use your active voice. Put them first in your sentences and you'll feel great because you'll make them feel great. You know, I think the funny thing is, Mary Lynn, I think there's a tendency for us to do the opposite. We use our active voice when we're telling them something bad. We use our passive voice when we're telling them something good. And the net effect is bad in both cases. So whether you're trying to develop a relationship with your coworkers, your husband, your wife, your parents, your children, you know, the whole gamut of relationships, these, this is a fantastic tool to use. And you can get daily personal and professional development tips from us here at The Big Success Show. You can subscribe to our feed on our website at big success dot com. That's also where we have a written summary of today's show. And before we go, let's get our big quote for the day. Our big quote today comes from Abraham Lincoln who said, Mary, you're crazy. Oh, that's using the active voice. Actually, Abraham Lincoln really said he has a right to criticize who has the heart to help actively accentuate the positives and passively eliminate the negatives. Next time, we'll talk about speaking of negatives. We'll talk about how to crack a crabby coworker. Until then, here's to your big success. The big success show at B I G G success dot com. Yeah. [MUSIC PLAYING]