How to stop the bleeding without getting bloody! Read the show summary at biggsuccess.com.
The BIGG Successs Show
Help - My Spouse Spends Too Much!
Welcome to the Big Success Show. Today, we'll discuss what to do if your spouse spends too much. The Big Success Show with George and Mary Lynn. We got an email from a newsletter subscriber, and Mary Lynn, I think the subject line says it all. "Help! My spouse spends too much!" Well, Diane says that her husband has passion for gadgets and all things electronic, and he's always buying something new. Problem is, their credit card debt keeps going up, and he doesn't seem to recognize that their situation is getting serious. Her big challenge to us, how can she confront him and get their family finances back on track? You know, they say, "Ops is attract," and I witnessed this with my mom and dad. Mom was a saver, dad was a spender, and I love dad's quote. He said, "You got to keep your money circulating, son. It's good for the economy." I think you take after him. Well, today we're going to offer four tips to Diane, to help her stop the bleeding without getting bloody. The first thing is this, Diane have a conversation, not a confrontation. You have to think logically, not emotionally. You're part of a team, so use the word "we" not "you." But it's really hard to say "we" when "we" isn't the situation it is "you." Well, that may be true, Mary Lynn, but you have to decide. Do you want an argument, or do you want to solve the problem? Another way that you might deal with it, maybe this would be easier to swallow, discuss the situation, and then you're removing yourself, too. I like that better, George, because like I said, it's hard not to say "you" when it is somebody else who's the problem. Whatever works for you, Mary Lynn. Don't you mean us? Second thing is this, make it an event. Have a little bit of fun with this. Go out for a cup of coffee, very inexpensive dinner. Just make sure you have the information that you need with you, so that you can show your financial situation to your husband. Right. You want to find a place where you can have some privacy, people aren't right on top of you. There's some good background noise. You don't want everybody hearing what you're talking about, but the point of doing this is it signals to your spouse that you're not planning on an argument, plus it'll help you keep your cool, too, Diane. It brings your guard down and his guard down, so you can have a productive conversation. Open up with something like, "Honey, we need to do something about our spending, or we're going to be paying for the rest of our lives for what we buy today." That may get the point across. Don't say, "Hey, ding-dong." Third tip, agree to this rule. Pay today or say no way. Agree to keep saying that to each other over and over again. This is your new affirmation. How long did it take you to come up with that little saying, Mary Lynn? Not too long, but it's catchy, isn't it? It's very catchy. How do you execute pay today? Well, if it's really, really extreme, set up cash allowances for both you and your husband. Agree what that's going to pay for. This is kind of your personal, fun money. If it's less extreme, you can use debit cards. Just make sure you have separate accounts, one for you and one for your husband. Coming up, Diane, our final tip, which will keep your gadget guy from going into withdrawal. Today, we're answering a question from Diane, whose spouse is spending too much. We've offered her three tips already. Here's the fourth. Create a fun account. This is your reward account. Set aside and agreed percentage of your incomes into this account. And then if and only if you're able to pay all of your bills in full, then you get to spend this fun money. So if you've met your goals, he'll get bonus money for the gadgets that he wants. And Diane, you get bonus money too. This is how you can get him to buy in to this idea. And that's very crucial because you can't do it alone, right? But George, if they're in debt, it's going to be a long time before there's any bonus money. Well, it doesn't have to be Maryland. Sometimes a very small investment in rewards pays big dividends. So Diane and her husband can set the bonus to trigger whenever they want. It doesn't have to be debt free. It just has to be a reasonable level of progress. For example, maybe they agree that when their debts paid down 25% from where it is now, they'll spend 10% of their fun money. And then they can just keep escalating that percentage as time goes by. All right. That's a good idea. We've written an article as well called Five Piggy Banks. And it's how to set up a plan to keep your finances on track. So Diane, when you're ready, you might want to check that out. We've got a link to it on our blog today at BigSuccess.com. That's also where we have a written summary of today's show. And thanks Diane for sharing your big challenge with us. We wish you big success. If you have some big solutions to offer Diane or have a big challenge of your own, email us through our website at BigSuccess.com. And let's get our big quote for the day. Our quote today is by Anonymous who said, "Between work and family, I'm really not spending enough quality time with my money." So give yourself time to get to know your money so it can get to work for you. And next time, in honor of Leap Year, leaping lizards. That's right. We're going to leap from place to place and talk about how you can see the world while you work. And until then, here's to your big success. The Big Success Show at B-I-G-G Success.com. [MUSIC PLAYING]