The BIGG Successs Show
Top 5 Signs You Are Managing Your Money Like Wall Street
Lessons you can learn from Wall Street's mistakes from our special guest, Jake Novak. Listen to the show and read the summary here.
- Welcome to The Big Success Show. Today we'll discuss the top five signs that you're managing your money like Wall Street. - The Big Success Show with George and Mary Lynn. - Some of the smartest people in the world are on Wall Street. You know, the news lately seems to be ripe with all of Wall Street's woes. And today we're gonna talk about the lessons that we can learn from their mistakes. - And we have a guest today to help us do just that. Live from New York, it's Jake Novak on The Big Success Hotline. How you doing, Jake? - I'm doing fine, guys. - Good to have you, Jake. - Jake is a comedy writer whose material is used by more than 100 radio stations across the world. And your humor is also featured in weekly columns in Newsday and The Jewish Week, right? - That's right. That's why I'm richer than any Wall Street CEO. (laughing) - Excellent. - And when you're not making people laugh, you teach journalism at New York University. - That's what I make people laugh. - Oh. - See now, Jake, that's what I was gonna say. My students usually laugh quite a bit at me and I don't intend for them to. (laughing) I teach a class here at the University of Illinois. - Well, teaching college is just like doing standup. Half the kids aren't listening and they rest are drunk. (laughing) - That's a good point. - So I thought they were asleep. You know, it turns out maybe they're just passed out. (laughing) - Well, good. - And then Jake, you're also a producer at a Fox station there in New York. - Yes, Fox Business Network just launched October 15th. And I do believe it's available just about everywhere. - Fair and balanced, is that what you're doing? - Well, that's the political station. - Oh, okay, gotcha. - Where we're about being not broke. (laughing) - Well, we're happy to have you on the big success show today, Jake. And you're gonna give us the top five signs that you're managing your money like Wall Street. So number five is? - Well, if you were like Wall Street, you would run up huge debts on your credit cards. Then the demand of the government forgive all those debts. Cut interest rates and then tend you and everyone else, you know, check your 600 bucks. (laughing) That's what's going on right now. (laughing) - But I'll take the money. Number four. - You've hired someone to handle your finances, like a CEO, and even after he failed miserly, you'd give him a hundred million dollar severance bonus. Then, guys, he proved that you'd learned from that mistake by hiring a new financial advisor with a guaranteed severance at at least $200 million. (laughing) - I want the second job. - Yeah, the second job is always important to give this the last guy a good picture. - All right, number three. - Now, after losing your shirt in a string of bad investments, you'd immediately go on a crusade to convince all your neighbors that your problems are their problems, too. And incidentally, Maria Bartiroma and CNBC will give you as much airtime as you want to get that message across. (laughing) - Number two. - You spend about 364 days a year exaggerating about how rich you are, and then spend all of tax detail in the government that you have made a dollar all year. (laughing) - I think I like, okay, we're gonna stop you for a moment here, Jake, because you've given us a lot to think about. - That's fine. I'm willing to just think about it. And I'm just gonna go look for my other $18 billion I left in my other pants. (laughing) - Well, you know, I guess one of the things that I'm always amazed about, Jake, is just the over exuberance that seems to enter, you know, recently, obviously it's been real estate. And what is it that makes these guys just kind of run with the herd? - Well, we do it because everyone, they don't think they're gonna, they think they'll get out at the last minute. I mean, that's kind of the idea of taking stocks, or buying stocks, but you know, if you ever notice it's a day when the stock market goes down, they say it's profit-taking. There's no such thing as profit-taking. You don't sell anything if you think it's gonna go up the next day. - That's right. - So it's really about fear. It's kind of like, you don't want to be the last guy that doesn't get in the game of musical chairs. - Well, and Wall Streeters, you're saying, run the big credit card, you know, not necessarily credit cards, but they run up big bills that they can't pay for. Now, obviously as normal citizens, we can't do that without, you know, and expect the government to bail us out. - Well, you can't if you just keep changing your name, but it's actually a little type sometimes, although the banks do that. You know, the banks change their name every single, every couple of years. - Is that the reason? - It's about the best running up debts and hoping that no one will find them. (laughs) - All right, well, coming up then, Jake, you're gonna share the number one sign that you're managing your money like Wall Street. - Today, we have humorist and comedic writer, Jake Novak, on the big phone, and we're talking about some lessons that you can learn from Wall Street's recent woes. - Yeah, and if you've laughed with the lessons that we've learned today, and there's been plenty of laughter, make sure you share it with a friend. And if you go to BigSuccess.com, you'll find a written summary of today's show. And also, Jake, we've got a link to your site as well. And before we get to the number one sign that you're managing your money like Wall Street, let's get our big quote for the day, George. - Our big quote today comes from the writer, Gertrude Stein, and she said very simply, "Money is always there, but the pockets change." - In every market, there are winners and losers. Use these tips so you end up with more than pocket change. - I wanna Woodrow Wilson. I didn't realize there was actually a $100,000 bill. - Pulled on to that, and then we'll actually, you'll never have to pay for anything if you have a change around a thousand. - There you go. (laughs) - Exactly, magic going up to a newsstand with that. All right, so Jake, what's the number one sign that you're managing your money like Wall Street? - Well, I don't wanna say they don't do anything. They do everything in petrously. They do think things over. And if you were managing your money like Wall Street, after going over your finances and finding that you're nearly broke, you would decide to blow your last dollars getting a local little league baseball field named after you. (laughs) - Hey, or if you're in Ron, you just go for the major league ball field, right? (laughs) - Yeah, and it's always a good time to do it. If you ever see your company, or anybody invested in putting their name on a professional stadium, that's a good sign to get out. (laughs) - There you go, now that's the tip of the day, I think. Well, tomorrow will be Valentine's Day, so, Mary Lynn, we're gonna talk about the heads-up way to follow your heart. - That sounds good and big stick for being on The Big Success Show today. - Thank you so much. - And until next time, here's to your big success. - The Big Success Show at B-I-G-G Success.com. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.