The BIGG Successs Show
The Marshmallow Test
Can you resist sweet temptations? Listen to the show & read the show summary here.
Welcome to our 48th Big Success Show. Today we'll talk about the marshmallow test. The Big Success Show with George and Mary Lynn. Mary Lynn, as we prepared for this show, I just, I keep thinking about this guy once that we were talking and I don't remember what I said, but he came back with, dude, you're harsh in my mellow. But we want to talk about the marshmallow experiment today and this of course was a test conducted back in the 1960s by Walter Mitchell at Stanford University. Then it was popularized by Daniel Goldman, who's the author of two books, emotional intelligence and social intelligence. Now the researchers at Stanford took a group of four-year-olds and gave them a marshmallow and told the kids that they had an errand to run. So if the kids didn't eat the marshmallow while the researchers were away, once they got back, the kids could have another one. But if they ate the marshmallow, they would not be getting a second helping. Now Mary Lynn, picture yourself at four years old with a big old tasty marshmallow sitting in front of you. Do you think you could have resisted it? I don't know. Tough to say. Well, and the kids handled it in a number of ways. You know, some of them actually ate the marshmallow before the research or even got out of the room. Others had no problem whatsoever, not eating it, it seemed like. Some turned their back on it. They didn't want to look at it. Others sang a song to get their mind off of it. It was reported that one kid even licked the table around the marshmallow. Oh my gosh. That is disgusting. Hey buddy, he got a little treat. I guess so. I mean, it worked. Got a buzz. So the kids that waited got another marshmallow when the researchers returned. And that's a hundred percent return. Not bad for one marshmallow, huh? But everybody, even the kids who ate their marshmallows expected to get another one. And those kids learned a hard lesson that day. Well, in over the years, the researchers kept track of these kids. And they surveyed the parents and their teachers. And in general, here's what they learned. The kids who had waited were better adjusted. They were relatively more dependable than the kids who had actually just eaten the marshmallow right away. They were more socially competent. They were more self-assertive. They seemed to be able to deal with frustration and cope with stress much better. They embraced challenges rather than kind of just seeing them as a hurdle that couldn't be overcome. And perhaps most surprisingly, they actually scored 210 points higher on their SAT tests. So what is it? Marshmallow discrimination or something, yeah? If you can't resist eating one, that means you're not going to do so well in life. So the moral of the story is kids don't eat marshmallows. Yeah, exactly. So I guess this brings us to a good point though. What is your marshmallow, that thing that you can't resist? Sex drugs in rock and roll, baby. Are you Aussie or something? That's the first thing that popped into my head. Although I could understand you. So no, you weren't. That's a great example though, that rock and roll lifestyle. I mean, we've all heard the stories. Some rockers, you know, they get fame and fortune early and they're not ready for it. They make a lot of money and they blow a lot of money because they seem to think that it's always going to be there that more will follow. Think MC Hammer. Hey, can't touch this, right? Right. For a while, we had no more money to touch because he ran out of it, right? We're certainly stereotyping here. You know, there's a lot of squared away rockers, you know, which seems like an oxymoron, I guess. But you know, we hear the lot times they're out touring again because they're completely out of money and they're having to start all over because they don't have any marshmallows left. You know, the ironic thing here is that by not treating yourself now, you can get more later. And so we've got some thoughts to share with you to make sure you get the most marshmallows in life. The first thing you can do to make sure you get more marshmallows is to keep your eye on the prize, you know, keep focused on that dream life that you visualize. And we did a show on that quite some time ago. We keep it on the prize, be like those kids who turn their back to it, keep it off the marshmallow. Keep what you want right in front of you, that long-term goal. I guess that makes it easier to look past the marshmallow now. And secondly, find techniques that work for you. You know, we all have our ways of doing things. And so what works for one person may not work for another. But a couple examples. Pay yourself first. You know, that's in timeless principle. Put money aside in your 401k or your retirement account. Don't even look at it. Don't allow yourself to have access to it. And what people say is most of the time you don't even miss it. Other people say, "I won't buy something unless I have the cash to do it. I don't ever want any debt." That's another way of basically making sure you have more marshmallows in the long run. Another thought. And this works for me. Focus on your needs, not on your wants. And here's a prime example. I do need a smartphone. I have outgrown the phone that I currently have. You're saying the phone now is dumb? Yes, it is. You can't just talk anymore. I want an iPhone, but I don't need to spend $300. I can get a smartphone and upgrade to a phone that will cost me half. And it still meets all your needs. Exactly. So I'm going to have a mini marshmallow, not a big marshmallow. Well, you know, we all have our own technique. The point is, figure out what works for you and then do that. Yeah. And what we'd like to hear from you, what's your marshmallow and how do you resist the marshmallow in your life? Leave us a comment on bigsuccess.com. We'd love to hear from you and coming up when you definitely should eat one of your marshmallows. We're talking today about the marshmallow test. What's your marshmallow? We've talked about two things so far to get the most marshmallows in your life. Now we want to talk about a third and that is reward yourself. Every now and then, you've got to reward yourself when you reach a desired goal. A couple of days ago, we talked about the stairway to success. So know the steps that are going to get you to success. And when you do that, when you reach another level, reward yourself. Give yourself a treat. Right now, don't over reward yourself. I mean, you can't have a marshmallow each step of the way. Otherwise, you can get too full and not make it up the stairway. Yeah, we do full marshmallows. We've got a great tool in helping you set your marshmallow marks. Marshmallow marks. This is too fun. When you can treat yourself to one, a great tool is our free big goal setters workbook. Just sign up for the big success weekly at big success.com. It's free too. That's also where you'll find a written summary of today's show. And before we go, George, let's get our big quote for the day. Our big quote today comes from the great Brian Tracy, who said the ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success. So plan your life and live your plan. And go ahead. Have a marshmallow now and then. Geez, Mary Lynn, you rhymed. And next time we'll answer a question for one of our listeners who wants to know if he should count on his employer's counter offer. You know, Mary Lynn, what I'm going to do now? What? Have a big old cup of hot chocolate with some marshmallows on top. Not too many. Practice what you preach, George. Until then, here's to your big success. 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