The BIGG Successs Show
Don't Shy Away From Networking
Learn why shy people make the best networkers. Listen & read here.
Welcome to our 39th Big Success Show. Today we'll discuss why you shouldn't shy away from networking. The Big Success Show with George and Mary Lynn. Mary Lynn, you know, I think probably all of us are familiar with that old saying it's not what you know, it's who you know. That can be true. Since we were young, right? Well, the thing is I think it's partially true. I mean, what you know is obviously important, but the point is meeting new people, getting to know people, having relationships definitely does make a difference in our careers and our lives. If you're shy, it's harder to do that. But what we want to talk about today is some things that you can use to your advantage by being shy. And there's lessons in that for all of us. And the inspiration for today's discussion comes from a blog by Lindsey Pollock on the Huffington Post titled "Why Shy People Make Great Networkers." And it's funny because there is a negative connotation with shyness and being introverted. Right, so how is someone who's introverted going to be able to excel when it comes to networking? Perhaps the most extreme situation you'd think you'd be an extroverted would be an advantage in, right? Well, you know something I found very interesting in the article was she cites studies that show that 40 to 50 percent, I mean, half the people say that they are shy. Another statistic that's interesting, and this comes from Marty Laney's book, "The Introvert Advantage," she cites that 60 percent of the intellectually gifted people like Albert Einstein and Bill Gates are introverts. Wow, I can't believe you didn't cite me. Well, you're not an introvert. Oh, man, I was worried. I thought you were going the other direction without one. Well, the point is being shy can actually work to your advantage even in networking situations. And so we'll talk about some ways to do that. How do you use being shy to your advantage? Right, and these techniques apply even to extroverts. Everybody can use these. Well, the first thing we can learn from shy people is to ask for referrals from people you know. That's right, because it makes you more comfortable when you know that you have this common connection with someone. Shy people tend to do that because it's that initial conversation. It's that introduction that's so difficult, this makes it much easier. Right, and the thing is, because you know somebody and they know somebody, it also I think helps build the relationship faster because you can build up on that other relationship. And so you become friends, you make a much deeper connection much faster. Another thing that shy people do is they'll ask more questions. Yeah, they ask questions and then they listen intently. And there's an advantage to that because by listening so intently, they are better at those follow-up conversations because they get to know the other person so much better. Well, the thing is what for most people what's their favorite subject? What's my favorite? What's your favorite? I mean, what's our favorite subject? Ourselves. It's ourselves, exactly. And so the thing is shy people are almost playing in to the thing that people want to talk about because they are such good listeners in many cases. The third thing shy people do is they'll bring a friend. They'll bring a friend along to that social networking event because it helps them feel more comfortable. They've got someone to lean on, it helps put them at ease. Well, we think that's a great idea but it's funny that a lot of networking experts suggest exactly the opposite. Don't bring a friend they say. They do have good reason for that and that is you can't be a wallflower. You can't stand there and just talk to each other because that's not really accomplishing your purpose for attending some type of function where you want to meet new people. Right, but when you do bring a friend, you can work as a team because your friend is your wingman or your wingwoman. The old wingman. Yeah, and you can work the room together. Yeah, I mean, and sometimes as you get good at this, sometimes you may be apart. You know, but the thing is you're meeting someone, I'm meeting someone and now we come back and we've each made a friend. That's right, and that brings us back to that first thing that shy people do asking for referrals from people you know. What you are doing with your friend is you are getting referrals for each other. And one of my favorite suggestions that goes along with this from Lindsay's article, she said, bring the most extroverted person you know, bring your most extroverted friend with you because they'll make meeting people much easier. And they can really open up that conversation even more. Absolutely. Coming up one more thought about shy people and networking. Marylin, I want to come back to this statistic one more time that half the people describe themselves as being shy. So here's what that means. If you're in a room full of people and you would describe yourself as being extroverted, look at the person that you'd like to meet and realize there's a good chance that they're shy. So if you just make the opening comment, they will greatly appreciate it. On the other hand, if you're shy and you look at the person across the way, there's a real chance that they're extroverted, all you got to do is find a way to get an opening and they'll take it from there. You can get a written summary of today's show on our blog at big success.com. We also have links to the Lindsey Pollock blog and to the book that was mentioned in our discussion today too by Marty Laney. And maybe one of your goals this year is to meet new people. We've got a free workbook, a six-step plan to help you achieve your goals this year. And you can sign up for it as well at big success.com. And let's get our big quote for the day, George. Our big quote today is by the educator and author, Rachel Naomi Remen. And we may be saying that wrong. It may be Remen. Rachel Naomi Remen, who said the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person, is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words. So don't be shy about listening. To people you know, to people you just met, paying attention pays off. Next show we're going to ask the question, does it pay to be smart? I hope not. Actually, we're going to talk about a recent study that tells us what your IQ says about how rich you'll be. And until then, here's to your big success. The Big Success Show at B-I-G-G Success.com. [Music] [Music] [Music]