Good morning, welcome to another episode of What a Great Punk. Thank you. Morning somewhere. Morning somewhere in the world. Morning Frank. Morning Frank. Welcome to the pod. Welcome back on the pod. Thank you very much. I know exactly what's happening. Yeah. You know, you've seen me every minute for the last three days, so you know what's happening. I've seen you in front of the fire, I've seen you on the couch, I've seen you in the forest, I've seen you in the kitchen. Yeah. Yeah. The forest was fun last night, wasn't it? Yeah. We are staying in a place called Lavers Hill in the Otway region, and in a beautiful house out here, just on a property, acreage with rainforest. We went for a walk through the rainforest last night and it was beautiful. A good time to acknowledge the traditional custodians of this very region, the Goulajan and the Gadapunud peoples land that was never seeded. So we'd like to acknowledge the custodians. And yeah, it was pretty wackadoo going on the rainforest. It was wackadoo, wasn't it? Proper wackadoo. It's really amazing. It's a cold climate rainforest, so it's really, really, really tall native trees and then a canopy below of enormous ferns that you can walk under. And everything's covered in moss and everything has massive mushrooms growing out of it. Mmm. Yeah. That was trippy. Proper enchanted business. It really is. You're not supposed to even touch the mushrooms. Yeah. Let alone eat them. Do you think it was dangerous going in the on the walk out on the trail last night, the rainforest trail? I think. We've done a pretty good job of like clearing a nice, safe path, but we don't think we, yeah, we would have wanted to go off this there. No. No. You get swallowed up by that rainforest. Yeah. There was a few treacherous sort of tumble down. Yeah. You can slip down the slope, tumble downs and you're done. Before we get started, let's also welcome some people to the Patreon. Oh, yeah. If you've signed up to the Patreon recently, welcome and thank you. Yeah. You're all. We've got a bunch that have signed up since we last welcomed some people. So welcome to the Patreon Sophie Chadwick. Sophie Chadwick. How's the, how's the modeling agency going? Welcome to the Patreon Terry Kim. Terry Kim. Terry Kim. Oh, you're cute, cuter than a cherry tin. God. Oh, welcome to the Patreon Samuel, Samuel Baldock. Baldock? Mm-hmm. Welcome Baldi. Welcome to the Patreon. Yeah. Dr. Bald. Bald. Welcome to the Patreon, Anthony C. Anthony C. See you later, man. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Anthony C. C here. Yeah. All right. Welcome to the Patreon, Noah Simmons. I don't know what Simmons, so. Yeah. Nice. Oh, welcome to the Patreon, Patreon, Madeline or Madeline. She's Madeline, she's Madeline, although she's very small. She's Madeline, she's Madeline, but inside I'm tall. Catchy smile, you've got that catchy smile, stop a while, come back with that catchy smile, come back baby, we'll fly away, come back, we'll just fly away. We're on Pod, we're on the episode. I can't believe those welcome to Patreon's own. Visible. Some of them were good. Were they? No one was good. Yeah, that was a good one. That was a good one. But when they're bad, they're bad. Yeah. But that's good. That's good too. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's hard on the ego for me. It's real. No, it's true. It makes the good ones better. Bad ones are still funny. Well yeah, I think... Often quite good of them, so it's when you don't hit it, it's a bit hurt. I think if you just signed up and you got a bad one, you'd actually be pretty happy with it because it was funny. Yeah. Oh, they're more rare too. Yeah. Waiting for it. Special. And you're like, oh. It's a special one. Yeah. Worth signing up for? I reckon. Question. So this is Pod number 380, something. Yeah, I can tell you. Excuse me. 26, let's listen to by what, squilling people for an episode. Well done. Well done. So just trying to figure out if catchy smile has been heard a million times or not. Um, yeah, it would be close to, oh, it's been a hard lot. Put it that way. Wow. That's sick. Should I let Mark Sinatra know? Yeah. Invoices. Yeah. I reckon it's been listened to at least half a million. Half a million times. Yeah. Probably a million. Or 10 million. It's a lot of times. Depends on the stats. That's so many million. Yeah. Does it ever be so? I don't think I would ever write a song. That good. It's weird how that came out. Yeah. Like it just came right out. And when I say song, I mean, really bad guitar parts. Yeah. But we all just did our really bad thing and it came together in a really nice, bad way. It truly did. Yeah. I know. On the spot. Yeah. Well, we were talking about that on a Patreon a few weeks ago actually, like about the fact that you guys went to a rehearsal room and wrote all the music for Tina's W10R. Yeah. And I actually found the cheat sheet for that the other day. Oh. We were talking about that too. Yeah. It was the cheat sheet. Yeah. I had this cheat sheet where I was just scribbling down all the riffs and all of the, you know, different stings and all of the things we had to remember for them. Right. It was such a, it was kind of hard to remember them. It was not like a song where you think about the structure and yeah, after just little stings. Yeah. Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. The challenge is what do you call that so that you all know that you had to play it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, the best one. Do you remember what they were called? Any of them? Oh, no. That one was sick though. That one and the one inspired by that piano riff that Josh Hardy wrote that goes. Yeah. Genius. What was the story? He woke up under a piano and then just reached up and played that. Yeah. It was really hung over on the floor in his room and he just lifted his hand up to the piano, and couldn't see it, but like his hand fully outstretched to get to the keys and just hit that. Yeah. That's the actual genius. Yeah. It's a musical genius. Yeah. It's a natural note. Is that what you'd call a natural note? No, it's a, um, it's an accidental. That's an accidental. Which one? Yeah. Yeah. Flat two. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good note. Yeah. I often find if you like, when in doubt, just go every single note. Yeah. Next to each other. Yeah. It works. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind a chromatic run myself. Yeah. A good banger is good, huh? It can be. Yeah. Definitely. Bad banger is not as good. Yeah. But like a good nasty banger and an intentional banger every now and then, good. Intentional banger. Hard to pull off of the intentional banger. It's quite skillful. We've got one in that, which song is it that we've got one in that coming into the chorus? It's like the last. Oh, a new song. Yeah. One of the new songs. Yeah. That's a fat note. You reckon that's a banger? Yeah, dude. To your ear, that's a banger? That's a banger. Yeah. Yeah. That's not part of the scale. It's not a scale. It doesn't seem. Yeah. That is bong bong. It's off the scale. Yeah. Wow. Might be off the Richter. Yeah. Sounds like it. It's been hard to go. Quickly about the fact that this is, it's Sunday now. We've been here since Thursday. It's three nights. We've already spent here. We've got one last night here tonight. Wow. Up our amps and drum kits and a PA in this beautiful wooden cabin. Cabin. Cabin. Yeah. And we've just been riding pretty intensely for the last couple of days, I'd say. Yeah. And they're coming out good. Yeah. Probably somewhere between six and nine hours a day. I reckon we've been riding. Yeah. Yeah. It's been so fun. Bit of footy on in the background. Every now and then I'll pick up the bass, we'll pick up the guitar. It's actually really working well. It's producing some lovely results. And I know you would never do that on stage, but. You know? Oh, yeah. The musical swap. The old musical swap. Listen, I don't have a problem with the musical swap. I just don't think that I want to do it. Yeah. Fair enough. That's where I stand. Yeah. Fair enough. I did the musical swap when I played in building for a band once. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's good. Which one? Oh. I did it when I was playing in rapids. Oh, rapids. Did I fill in? Do I fill in for Will? I can't remember. I filled in for Remy. Really? Right. Yeah. I did a set. Where was that? Spectrum. Spectrum. Well, it's really going back. Yeah. I learned the songs. I loved Spectrum. Great. Great venue. Very loud in there. I remember seeing a dangerous show that you played. Oh, yeah. This is the loudest thing I've ever heard. For when I saw Unwritten Law, Adelaide Uni by that fucking ruined my ears for about- Really? Yeah. A year. Sometimes they go too hard. Those sad engineers. They do. It's been really lovely, um, really sinking into that creative, creative-only state. Yep. It's what it's basically been the last couple of days. There's been no other places to be or tasks to do really or- It's been very, um, a bit of an experimental creative time. Yeah. And like not knowing what we're going to come away from this trip with and sort of, yeah, the discovery's been awesome. Yeah. Yeah, amazing. Amazing how many it all set up and just like ready to go straight out of bed. Yeah. Todd woke us up this morning by, um, poking his phone into the PA. Big PA. And just blasting who let the dogs out. Yeah. Which was an accident, wasn't it? Accent. So, you know how most people when you- you've got a song that your phone always just plays? Yeah. Yeah. I, I think I bought it on iTunes once. See. Cause that was like pre-smotified. I didn't even know I, little present to yourself. Yeah. Just, just shout it out. Everybody's having a bowl. Aye! B-I-O. Aye! Get back, won't you? Get back! Get back! You're fleeing faster, Monroe. Good liner. Do you remember when that song came out? Like, do you remember the first kind of time you heard it or like talked about or something? I do. I remember being at Glenn Osman primary school when it came out. Oh, I thought you were going to say where I was because I was at Glen Elk. Oh, yeah. Nice. Playing like beach, in a beach volleyball tournament. Oh. That sounds like the best summer of our lives. Really? Just like a high school. You know when you enroll in shit so you can get a day off, whatever? Yeah. Wait, no. It would have come out before you were in high school. It would have come out when you're in. Well, I reckon- Let's just, let's dox me. Let's go. Shh. I'm typing it in. Was it around the same time as Alien Air Farm number four? Okay. It came out 2000. Okay. So I was in grade eight in 2000. There you go. So you were in grade nine. Ten. Ten. Crazy. Oh, I thought it came out. Oh, there you go. I'm angry with myself now. Yeah. You've really- I apologize and I'm really upset with myself. It's okay, man. It's, yeah, it's unlike you. I know. What did you guess? I was shopping at cards. Oh, yeah. Oh, that was good. We played a game where we all guessed the total. Yeah. And you were two bucks off. Yeah. What was it? 264 or something? You said 262 and it came out at 264. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. But also what happened? Yeah. Well, it's still the full story. Well, look. First of all, I guess, we all guessed smaller and then Todd went- Todd wasn't there. And Todd came in and everyone said, "Hey, we're doing the guessing game. How much do you reckon this is?" Oh. I sussed it. I went 280. Yeah. And then you raised yours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then a couple of extra things went in the trolley at that point as well. So I only adjusted mine up from 217 to 264. Yeah. Okay. All right. 40 bucks worth going to trolley or that? That's right. Nah, well done. Well done, man. Best man, man. Best man did win, but I couldn't have done it without you. Yeah. There were a few guesses. It was like 140 or something. Yeah. Quite far off. Yeah. Yeah. We played... We played... Not here to defend himself though. You played? Yeah. We played past the pigs. What's the story behind this game? Oh. Who owns it? Me. You own this game. Yeah. My dad gave it to me when I was like 67 or something. You're kidding. I lost it and then my sister gave me that copy. Oh, that's right. Recently. Okay. I think with the idea in mind that we would enjoy playing it like in the green room or whatever. And boy, did we enjoy playing it last night. It's a really funny game. For anyone who doesn't know what past the pigs is, it's a sort of dice game, except instead of dice you have pigs, tiny little pink pigs with a spot on one of their sides and not on the other. And you roll them on the table and they kind of do tricks. They land either on their back or on their snout or on their feet or in some sort of other... It was good with their feet. Or on their jowl. Or on their jowl. Which is a leaning jowler. That's one of Todd's favourite things to say. And you score points depending on what configuration they find themselves in. And then you have to... Oh. But you can also wipe out. A position... Sorry. A position score is inversely proportional to its likelihood of occurring. Yeah. Interesting. Like so. Yeah. Sorry. It's like for every... Boom. There's an equal on opposite. Yeah. Inversely proportional. Yeah, because I never got the game. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So say... Okay. So you roll... It's blowing your mind. So you roll... And the pigs are both on their back. That's called a double razor back. You get 20 points for that. Yeah. And you want to end up with 100 points. But you can wipe out at any moment by... Yeah. You can pig out. You can pig out. And then you lose your points for that hand. So you have to decide whether or not you want to declare and be like cool, I'll bank those piggy points. Yeah. And pass the pigs on. Or if you want to keep going for glory. Yeah. It's like dice where you have to choose whether you take it or you roll again. Yeah. Yeah. And as it says here, pass the pigs is a commercial version of the dice game. Pig. Oh. About using custom asymmetrical throwing dice similar to Shagai. That's awesome. Yeah. Created by David Moffat. What's up with that name? David Moffat. David Moffat. David Moffat. Wait. Well, it was called Pigmania. Oh yeah. In 1977. Heck. Oh. Yeah. The leaning jail is a hard one to pull off. I actually haven't seen one. David Moffat. Yeah. Right. Matt Worth. David Moffat. Well, I think David Moffat is going to be worth $9 million. Okay. And I think his height is $5.9. And I think his age is $2. Oh. Not bad. Okay. He's worth at least $6.66 mil. Yeah. Sick. Well done. Thanks. Wow. Yeah. And that's American. And I was. Yeah. So that adjusts. He's at the same Mr. David Moffat because they're saying it owns over 5,000 units of PayPal and stuff. Oh, hold on. That's Moffat with an E. I want Moffat with an A. Sorry. Well, it's not sure. Oh, that one. Oh, here we go. David Moffat. Oh, yeah. $3. Oh, man. Three bucks. Look at this. This made a net worth of David Moffat is at least $3. Mm. Okay. Different David Moffat once again. All right. How much is the inventor of Jenga worth? Well, how many Jenga's have been sold? Probably like six billion. So Jenga created by Leslie Scott. Do you know once me and Luke were asking ourselves this question, who's replying Jenga? Yeah. And we looked up Leslie and stuff, wondering how much money she made from Jenga. And we found her Twitter and we tweeted at her, "How much money you made?" I make. What's that about? Didn't write that. What? But she's still alive. She was then. Jenga seems like something that was invented in like the Stone Age. Yeah. Well, maybe she's British. So maybe she fucking stole it. Maybe that's just because it looks like Stonehenge. I think that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be a better name for it. Stonehenge. Yeah. It would be. Anyway. I'll just toss it in there with it. Leslie Scott. All right. What are you guessing, Frank? Leslie Scott's worth 23. Mill. Yeah. It's not coming out, but it's okay. Yeah. How was your run yesterday? Oh, it was really good. It was really good. Drove down to the beach, parked at the beach, ran along the great ocean road coastal walk. Were you on a footpath or grass or sand? Sort of like a craggy trail. Oh, yeah. Like a craggy trail, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can sort of open the dirt pebbly. Dirty, then a point sort of grassy, then a bit muddy, then a bit rooty, yeah, and a bit tutti. Yeah. Yeah. It was a bit sketch, but it was so pretty. Yeah. Nice. Vast. Country side. Real dramatic beach. Cliffs. Good gear. You get the runner's heart? Got it. Get it here? Yeah. Yeah. It's every time for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the clarity and the endorphins. Yeah. Between going to the gym and running, I'm probably all up doing something like most days. Five days a week, I'd say. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I'm loving it. Yeah. It's the best. It's good that, yeah, I've always kind of struggled with running just because I tend to get sore, sore from it. Yeah. I think that's always-- Could you push through that? That's always the way when I'm like starting back up after a long time off. Okay. Yeah. And then the soreness is gone. Okay. Gotcha. And then I'm just loving it. Yeah. Because I don't really get-- I'm actually surprised because boxing is quite hard on the body, hard on the feet and the knees and the hips and all that kind of shit. But yeah, it's nice not to be too sore from it or whatever, you know. So maybe running would be actually okay now. You might like it. Yeah. It's really good. I hit the bike at the gym. Nice. That's just the stationary. You put it on like some cool setting. Nah. But there's a screen and you ride through all these like towns and stuff. Sick. It's pretty cool. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. They should tell you what the town is though, which they never do. Oh, I'm trying to work out what country I'm in half the time. True. Is it like computer video game graphics or it's real? Yeah. It's really cool. It's just going down these little like French countryside roads and stuff. Yeah. If you put on like trick shot videos, I feel like those things and like gyms often have like videos of trick shots. Oh, like a compilations of like sick trick shots. Yeah. What's those? What are those people called? I don't know. People that made heaps of money on that and YouTube, I don't know what they're called. Wait, like one specific group. Yeah, there's like a group as a channel. Oh, a little nephew. Oh, I was at the dude those dudes that will like throw a ping pong ball. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Although do like a giant version of a fucking mouse trap or something. That's the point where like as I listen, you're like, I know the answer, I know the answer, I know the answer. I wonder how we talk. Yeah. It's massive. Like I remember one Christmas. Cool trick dude or something or like nice shot guy or something. Yeah. But there's more than one. And I remember my nephew getting like a bunch of like that it's merchandise like a special like football from them and stuff like they're making hell cash. Those things were really fun to do as kids where you'd like set up a thing and try and get it like you throw a card into a fucking cup or whatever. The best. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty sick. I like it. It's pretty fun. Yeah. We should do some trick shots this afternoon. Let's do one now. Okay. Um, one of those pigs in that silver bucket over there. Oh, alright. Ready? Come on. Oh, yeah. Good shot. Thanks. That was cool. That's a leaning jello. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. You're leaning jello, right? We can do something like that. What do you mean? Well, just like, I don't know. Just find the script. Yeah. Let's do a scene from the Ally McBeal movie. Oh, wow. You reckon we'll be able to find that? Let me just type it up. Wait. There's an Ally McBeal movie? Yeah. Is this a proposed movie? Or did they actually make an Ally McBeal movie? Well, it's a script. I have here, it says at the start, Ally McBeal the movie by Juvie J and Purple Sheep. Interesting. Okay. Um, brackets, Kevin Johnson and Vera Cubans, um, based on all, on characters and themes from the show, Ally McBeal, the practice and Boston Legal. Okay. Propose cast is long, um, Calista Flockhart, Ally McBeal. Yeah. That's Ally McBeal. Um, and then you've got, who else do I know in here? Portia de Rossi. Yep. As now. Lucy Looze. Um, then you got a bunch of others. Alright. Kristina Richie. I love Kristina Richie. She was one of my crushers. Yeah. Same. A bunch of shit in a script, which we won't read through, we'll just go to the main first scene. Um, it says, so the, the open, it says roll opening credits and then Ally arrives at work. New York office of Crane and Paul and Schmidt, Ally, Ally walks out of the elevator stumbling with must up hair. There's a typo in this. Yeah. This is, yeah. Anyway. Must up here is something you've heard someone say. Yes. Must up. What is it? Mess is supposed to be best. It's messed up. Must up. It's funny. Um, okay. Yeah. Must make someone's hair or clothes untidy or messy. Okay. Wow. Okay. I apologize. Ally walks out of the elevator stumbling with stumbling and with must up hair. New York, New York is playing again, but more slowly. Yeah. And it goes, it sings that those little town blues are melting away. Yeah. And that goes, no, I don't know how that goes, but I just seen you start spreading the news. Um, keep singing that. I'll talk over it. Those little town blues Marlene enters and confronts Ally. The music stops with the screech. What happened to you? Well, you're Marlene. I'm Ally. Yeah. That was crossing the street. Nevermind. I have a new client for you. What's your tod? Huh? You read the book. Oh, Marlene begins walking with Ally. Listen, with the cases I've got, oh, you can take on one more. Well, wait. I haven't even accepted the case. That's all right. I did it for you. Well, thanks, Moline. I so appreciate it. You're welcome. And Ally, try to clean up a little. This is, after all, a law firm, opening scene at Cage Fish and Porter, Boston, the law office of Cage. Oh, it's in Boston. Richard stands at the head of the table. John sits at the opposite end. Nell, Raymond and Coretta sit at the sides. So I'll go-- oh, anyway, whatever. You're going to play Richard Todd? Yeah, there's like four characters in this, so we'll just-- wait, I'll be Richard. So what's Richard doing? He's in the table. New order of business. Who's from there? Who's now? Well, wait. Aren't we going to wait for-- she's busy. She's got other clients. Burgoyne's. Burgoyne's. Burgoyne's. Burgoyne. She's got the Burgoyne's in, OK? She's very busy. Now, as I was saying, new order of business. Martin Van Dorn, very wealthy, very gay, he's married to that singer. What's his name? One that's so popular right now, you know, the gay one. Elton John. Good guess, but younger, Lance Base. Another good guess, but gay-- all right, Richard. We're not going to sit here and try and guess our clients' identity by the simple clues that he's a singer who happens to be gay. Oh, I know. George Michael. Another good guess, but less furry. Yeah, he is pretty with the beard and the chest hair. I don't know. This is a bit-- Yeah, I know. Yeah. This gets in the scene. Who's Richard? That's you. Me. I'm guessing-- Oh, fuck. Yeah. Usually, guys like that. Richard. Bear. Biscuit. Bygone. Burgoyne's. Burgoyne's. Burgoyne's. Why don't I just look at the file and see what the man's name is? Oh, yeah. Oh, here we go. He opens a folder and reads. Oh, here we go. Tyler Mink's. Who's now? He's gay. Well, with a name like Tyler Mink's. Can we move along, please? Yeah. Anyway, his fellow-- Nah. I don't know. Fuck. This is really good. Look. Yeah. That's not cool. Yeah. This is sort of-- it's quite a long scene. I don't know if you want to keep reading that. Should we just read it? Is this fan pick or something? I'll just keep reading it. Fuck it. Yeah. Anyway. You don't think I should read that next line? I just don't think it's very nice. Different scene? Yeah. We'll find a different scene. Right. Let me get some erotic wind in the willows fanfiction. OK. All right. Wind in the willows. Yeah. You don't really know what you're opening when you just pull up a random alley McBealed movie script. Yeah. Nah. I thought it was the real thing. Is there even a movie? I don't know. Maybe that's the movie. Maybe. Someone's probably going, "That's how it starts." Ellie Mc-- I love how Ellie McBealed South African, by the way. Yes. She's a South African lawyer working in New York. Yeah. There's no movie. There's no movie. Really? Yeah. You're looking up some-- I'm looking for some wind in the willows erotic fanfiction, but this surprisingly little-- Mm. OK. All right. Let's just try another scene, OK? All right. Scroll down page 18. Yep. Bottom of page 18. Ellie calls Bobby. Yeah. Ellie calls Bobby. New York. Ellie's office at Crane Pool and Schmidt. Ellie dials her phone. Bobbie Donald. Bobbie Donald. Ellie McBealed. Oh, hey, Ellie. Hey, yourself. So what's up? Well, I just got this case involving a man who wants a divorce because his husband's a Red Sox fan. Oh, he's husband. Oh, fucking hell no. [LAUGHTER] I can't. He's not where I'm right now, I'll see where it goes. Never mind. Anyway, I thought of Boston and I thought of you. I see. Well, I was wondering if we might be able to get together again soon. It's been a while. Oh, I would like that, but I'm-- I'm really busy right now. Can I give you a rain check? Um, okay. Listen, Ellie, uh, don't take this as anything more than it is. I'm just-- I'm just swamped right now. I have this huge liability case next week. Oh, I understand. I just thought it'd be nice to get together again. And I want to see you all really do, listen, Ellie. I promise I'll try and squeeze you in. Okay, well, I guess I'll try to be squeezed. John and they'll meet their client, Boston. John's office at Cage Fish and Porter. John's behind his desk. Nell is standing in the back of him, Martin sits in front of them. I'll go, Martin. All right. I'll go, Nell, you're John. All right. I understand you're seeking an annulment rather than a divorce. Well, I'd prefer to stay married, but if Tyler insists on seeing this through, I'd like an annulment. And you can tell us why your marriage should be an out. We've only been married eight months. No offense, but I've worked hard for my money. I can't afford to give it even a way for a marriage that's not even a year old, especially in this recession. Are you sure Mr. Minx would be seeking alimony? Isn't he a successful recording artist? He's successful. He's famous. But what most people don't realize is that recording artists, like most artists, only get a small fraction of the sales they generate. The rest goes to the record company. Promoters, distributors, heck. I helped finance his career for the first few years. Now that he's successful. It's not like that. I never felt like Tyler was taking advantage of me. It was I who offered to help. It says in the complaint that there was verbal and physical abuse. Oh, sure. We would argue like any married couple. He doesn't like the fact that I'm a Republican, but there was never any violence between us. Oh, it alleges here that you threw a toaster at him. That's not true. He's wrong about that. Well, can we prove this? Yes, yes, I believe we can. Ali and Dr. Tracy, New York, the office of Dr. Tracy. Ali stands in front of the couch waiting. Tracy walks in looking at a file. She looks up and recognizes Ali. Oh, it's you again. He's really not getting rid of you, is that? I'm sorry, but I really need to talk to you. I wasn't leaving your file behind enough of a hint for you. What else do I need to do? Join a witness protection program? Well, I wouldn't have come if I wasn't really in need of some help. Look at yourself. It's been one seven years, and you're still the same little weekly. My advice is that you start getting used to it. I'm not sure that therapy can help you. I've been having these strange visions. Please, Tracy. It won't take long. I'll even sing my theme song if you want me to. Tracy sits down and picks up a pencil and no pen. So what is it this time? Dancing babies? Underwater swimming? Soul-singers chasing you around? It's not really a hallucination this time. It's just a voice that keeps on speaking to it. Are you hearing voices? Well, I guess that's an improvement. Just the one voice, actually. And what does the voice say? It keeps telling me to go to him. I've tried asking who he is, but that's all he ever sees. Well, imaginary voices don't normally do requests. What did it sound like? It was definitely a male voice, and it was very familiar. But I can't quite recognize it. There was a face, but it was all blurry. And lumps and acoustics. [LAUGHTER] You are so like, I'm a male. [LAUGHTER] You know what, Ali? What? You're a cook. Hey. Well, what do you want me to say? I mean, you've dragged me down up to seven years. Tell me you're hearing voices and kissing imaginary lips. You're a cook. Is there a clear, the cold definition? Maybe not, but is that what you came here for? For me to diagnose you and start some kind of behavioral drug therapy, or did you just want to give me your advice? Or did you just want me to give you advice? A letter. OK, well, it sounds like you're subconscious is trying to tell you something. I mean, it could mean there's someone in your past, someone you haven't quite finished with, yet probably a male someone, since you're a man's voice. Also, the lips suggest two things, either intimacy in the form of a kiss or advice. So you're looking for someone who you know intimately, or someone whose advice you trust may be both. You need to find out who this person is. Assuming you're correct. How do you suggest I go about doing that? Why don't you show me how you kissed him? I'm not showing you how I kissed someone that isn't even there. It's just silly. You want me to help out your dog? [LAUGHTER] All right. Now he pretends to kiss the air. Right, it does look quite silly, but it also seems like you're holding back. Do you mean? Well, it wasn't that passionate kiss. Do you mean it wasn't a passionate kiss? It was soft, tender, passionate kiss. No! [LAUGHTER] No, it wasn't. Kiss your grandmother. I mean, if that's how you kiss a man, no one needs to. But I don't know. Hey, the kiss of real passion involves the whole body, not just the lips here. Kiss me what I mean. Tracy stands up and walks over to her. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not going to demonstrate on me. Do you want me to show you how to kiss a man? Not like that! OK. [LAUGHTER] So maybe it's not passion you're looking for. Let's try a different approach. Next time you see the lips, try matching them to some of the men from your past. Write to all the faces of men that you've met. And however unlikely they may seem, you know, let's see which one thinks best. That will work. What? Well, at least you'll have closure. Hey, you can go and be unhappy with your life. Gee, thank you, Chelsea. She gets up to leave. Well, before you go... I'm sure you had a proper attitude, you know. Tracy turns down the lights. Turns on very white and looks in the mirror. Very beautiful, haven't you done something with your hair? I'm just going to go then. I really like that shirt too. I'm just going to go. Why don't you come a little closer? That's right. Tracy begins kissing her own reflection. I'm going to-- ooh! She walks out the door. [LAUGHTER] What a strange-- That's not a good script. That is strange. It's not funny. OK. The court scenes were fun. Yeah. Few objections? Yeah. Wait, just go command F objection. Oh, yeah. It's good. Objector on it, there we go. [LAUGHTER] I want that. Ready to put the scene starts on-- Objection, you're on it. On page 20, that's good. Nice. On page 20. Yeah. So the scene will start on 55. But Objection, you're on this a bit down, isn't it? We're getting over all as well. 55. Over all. Do you have an over all? I don't know. Hang on, over all. Over all. Oh, wait, no. Oh, yeah, sorry. What page of the script do you want? Oh, yeah. I found an Objection on 57. And there was a creative and an object. Oh, well, cool. What have you got there, Frank? Is this 60? OK, 60 maybe then. All right, 57. OK, let's just jump in. Top of 57. Oh, are you OK? Oh, you want to go to start? We're going to have to head to 55. That's all right. Tyler testifies. Boston, a courtroom. Judge Walsh is presiding. Ali, Marlene, Tyler, and Daniel are sitting at the plaintiff's table. John, Nell, and Martin are seated at the defendant's table. Wait, which page, sorry? 55. There's a few. Yeah. A few cuts in here. So you're Ali, obviously. So judge-- oh, yeah. Judge Walsh is presiding. You've been judging. I'll be the judge. I'm Walsh. OK, you're Walsh. Miss McBeal, are you ready to proceed? Yes, Your Honor. Very well. Call your witness. We call Mr. Tyler Monks to the stand. [SNIFFS] Tyler walks to the witness chair, Daniel poets him. Hold it. Why are you two people walking to the chair? Judge Walsh, my name is Daniel Burns. I'm Mr. Mix's personal assistant. I know you are Mr. Burns. However, you are not called to testify. Please take a seat. I'm going to assist Mr. Mix with his testimony. Mr. Burns, this is not your bipartisan commission. You're not former the president. Now, please sit down. Your Honor, my client is a professional singer. He has to save his voice for his performances. This should only take a few minutes. Even that, Your Honor. You could develop a pileup. Not good enough. Your Honor. Mr. Burns, sit down, or have you removed? Oh, he's up there alone. Mr. Mix, are you seeking a divorce from Mr. Van Dorn? Can you tell us why? He's always yelling at me. Yes. And can you give me a specific example of where he yelled? He's a Republican. A gay Republican. Can you imagine? I see. And why does this upset you? He's for the past. Me, I'm for the future. And how has this affected your relationship? We can't do anything anymore. Watch TV, read the paper without it turning into an argument. OK. Anything else? Oh, yes, he threw a toaster at me. Mr. Van Dorn. Yes. And could you tell the court the circumstances surrounding this incident? The Yankees were beating the Red Sox. We teased him. You and Mr. Burns. Yes. Can you please give us an account of the event? Well, Daniel and Martin were in the kitchen. And I was in the living room. Daniel and I were cheering and teasing him. And next thing I know, crash. Shout a glass all over the floor. Daniel said he nearly hit me. Could have killed me. Jax, your honor. Mr. Minks, please confine your comments to what you actually saw. Don't speculate. What happened next? I don't remember. I think I found it. Aye. Aye, that's-- yeah. I do, Your Honor. Martin had this crazy look at his eye like he was going to kill Tyler. Jax, Your Honor, now he's testifying. Mr. Burns, sit down and remain silent. I will hold you to contempt. Aye, fine. Ms. McBeal, you may proceed. Actually, Your Honor, I think I'm done. [SNIFFS] [LAUGHS] She sits back down. John gets up. So, Mr. Minks, you didn't actually-- Oh, wait, hold on. Who's John, is that me? Yeah. Oh, that's you. That's you, Jamie. That's just a good regard. So, Mr. Minks. [LAUGHS] You didn't actually see by a client, throw the toast through it. Did you? I certainly heard it. Bang, crash, glass, all over. Yeah, but you didn't actually see it. Oh, my back was turned, Mr. K. So, for all you know, someone else could have tried it. [LAUGHS] Don't be ridiculous. The only other person there was Daniel. Your Honor, at this time, we'd like to introduce a videotape made by my client's home security system on the night in question. Jackson! Your Honor, this is unfair surprise. This tape is being introduced to impeach the testimony of the witness. He claims my client through the toaster at him. We intend to prove that. He is mistaken. Mr. Cage, I am not a fan of surprises. However, since I think this case lacks merits, I will allow it. Your Honor. I said I'm going to allow it. You've got to stop this. What the hell do I say? Your Honor, please forgive my colleague, Miss McBill. She's incompetent. I'm what? [LAUGHS] Incompetent, it means unable to do anything correctly. I know what it means. [LAUGHS] Then why did you ask? Miss McBill, Miss Stanger, please. [LAUGHS] Please direct your comments to the bench. Your Honor, I had no idea how inept she was until now, and neither did my client. How what? At this time, my client would like to fire her for inadequate counsel and seek a new trial. That is a question for the appellate court in criminal cases, not for the middle of civil cases. I understand that in a situation as egregious as this, your Honor could make an exception. Miss Stanger, as creative objection as that was, I'm not going to overwall it. Mr. Cage can play the video. Your Honor, I object! Mr. Burns, I warned you once. You are now in contempt of court. Bailiff, please take Mr. Burns into custody. Let's go! [LAUGHS] Tyler, don't watch it. It'll just upset you. Don't watch it, Tyler. Tyler, trust me. Don't watch it. Mr. Minx, I'm going to instruct you to watch it. Oh, God. Oh, God. Mr. Minx, do you want to be held in contempt as well? No. Then remove your hands from in front of your eyes. Oh, all right. [LAUGHS] [MUSIC PLAYING] Mr. Minx, is this the night in question? Oh, it appears to me. The video shows Daniel and Martin in the kitchen. Tyler is in the living room near the TV and glass cabinet. Daniel and Tyler are going with the good Martin. Tyler turns his back to Daniel and Martin. Daniel picks up the toaster and throws it towards Tyler. It hits the cabinet and breaks the glass. John stops the tape. Mr. Minx, they still believe it was my client who threw the toaster at you. It appears I was mistaken. [LAUGHS] And scene. [LAUGHS] All right. Oh. Good job. Good job. Cheers, boys. That was pretty fun. Really nice. Cheers. Well, probably the end of the pod. Yeah, we should get back into the music. I would have thought. Yeah, sick. That was great. Read a bit of Ally Meat Peel fanfic. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder what happens in the end. I wonder if they-- does South Africa ever do its own versions of shut-- you know how, like, some countries do their own? Like, there's a-- I have South African the office. Yeah, there's like a Russian Denani. Wow. Yeah. It's fucking fresh, too. Sick. I bet. Yeah. I've watched Africa's gotten any of its own versions of things like that. Like a South African cat thinking or something. Well, that's everyone's homework, if you're listening. That's your homework for the week. Yeah. Yeah. See what you can find. Don't watch five episodes and then let us know. Yeah. All right, love your things for listening. Bye-bye, bye-bye. Thank you. Bye. Thank you, bye.
